Lad rant - now with extra sarcasm!

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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:34 pm

A Lad in Spain wasn't happy at Captain Mal's refusal to play along and get robbed. But he didn't send the usual angry rant - instead he took his time and wrote something... well, have a look:

Quote:

I have forgetten i am dealing with R3ynolds. The one and only R3ynolds. The only R3ynolds that can say and it came to happen. The R3ynolds of all r3ynolds. the r3ynolds of gorram words that might changed the colour of sky. Thank God, you didn,t came to spain with tunder. you only visited and feel yourself with enough sun. hahahhaha oscar laugh.
Now straight to business, listen My gorram friend. if you want us to be friends in order to conclude this transaction. You must be loyal or esle no forward and no back ward, Rememeber, i will always go home with my salary. who lose?¿. Nobody, but i guess you are the one lossing?¿.
Now, less face reality, if you are not complying to rules just because you are the oracle of every transaction, then it is high time, i advise you to present a letter seeking for stop and cancelation.
You can also ask our corressponding bank to transfer the fund to your account, thereby giving us power of Artoney to sign a fund release document on your behalf, Remember, it is going to cost you few thousand dollars for that option.
I am personally advising you to co-operate with me because, i have seen men like you and i am advanced in handling classified issue like your type. I am in love with your boldness and i love men that are fearless, that is why i am getting inlove with your style of approach.
Write me as your freind, and not your enemy because we must conclude this transaction or else the fund will got missing.
Remember that we cannot move this fund to Africa as it is unthinkable, we either make use of our brains or we all will allow this golden opportunity to elude us.
I have nothing, involved in this transaction My R3ynolds, but i have credits and valuable property that makes me thirst of such a transaction. So am looking forward to your co-operation, and will appreciate your gift in future if we can leave the gorram stuff and face reality as Men.

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:44 pm

What did you do to get THAT ?

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:01 pm

It almost has a Shakespearian quality too it. Are you sure you haven't been dealing with Shylock? Mr. Green

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:01 pm

That one is just brilliant, nice work! Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:53 pm

Quote:

I am in love with your boldness and i love men that are fearless, that is why i am getting inlove with your style of approach.

You two guys will be very close, I can feel the man-love. Slap his butt in the locker room. Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:05 pm

I saw that but, Slap, so:

Quote:

You might consider a career in comedy after that little spat. It's actually quite funny in a bizarre, head-scratching, WTF, Andrew B0lt sort of way.
But to busines, as you said... I wasn't asking you to be a friend. I was asking you to make sense; to do what every other gorram business should do - work with the client rather than treat him as some sort of adversary or an actor in a cloak-and-dagger plot.
And one other thing - don't go on about your man-love or I might have second thoughts about this whole deal. Don't make veiled threats. Let's keep this on a professional level; just tell me what has to be done.

(Andrew B0lt is a local shock-jockey columnist here, whose tendency to insult and belittle is somehow mistaken for courage by his fan base...)

I hope he denies his otherwise quite obvious inclinations...

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:22 pm

Lad wrote:

i love men

Well that certainly is a revelation! Wink

@Slap: That would be Guy-Love

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:09 am

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 1:18 am

That's lovely.

There's a point in some baits where the lad seems to be almost driven insane in his desire to attach himself to the baiter and keep the baiter on the hook in spite of his anger at the baiter. Once his emotional investment in your character is high enough, he goes to surreal extremes to salvage a situation he thinks is failing, rather than having all those months' work go for naught.

This reads to me like a lad that has hit this point.

Well done!

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:24 am

His rant rose to rhetorical heights that were well met by you. Very well met indeed Cool

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

Would be nice to take the 'I love men' bit out of context and use it on him Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:59 pm

Meh - now he's all business like and rather dull, though there was one point of interest (emphasis added):

Quote:

Dear R3yn0lds,
Reverting back to your email!!!.
I think the best option should be for you to give a Power of Attorney to our Legal Department to act on your behalf. And this will cost you a stamp duty charge of Euros 2,980.00.
Then, under this option, our legal department with your authorization will act on your behalf in signing the FUND RELEASE HARD COPY DOCUMENT with the authorities involved thereby making a direct transfer to your to be nominated account.
In a simple explanation, we needed the following.
(1) POWER OF ATTORNEY. A WRITTEN NOTE SIGNED AND SCANNED WITH YOUR ATTACHED (PROOF OF IDENTITY) GIVING OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT POWER TO ACT ON YOUR BEHALF IN THE SIGNING OF THE FUND RELEASE ORDER OF YOUR FUND UNDER PLC SECURITY MADRID VAULT/ CARE WHICH IS BEEN CONTROLLED BY THE SPANISH MINISTRY OF HACIENDA.
(2) (OR) A DIRECT ORDER TO MY OWN SELF AS THE OPERATION MANAGER OF PLC MADRID SPAIN, REMEMBER TO MANDATE ME WITH MY IDENTITY COPY ATTACHED IN ORDER TO CARRY OUT THIS DUTY EFFECTIVELY. IF YOU CHOOSE NUMBER ONE OPTION, THEN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE NUMBER TWO OPTION.
(3) THE ABOVE PAYMENT OF STAMP DUTY FEES (EUROS 2,980.00) PAYABLE TO OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT VIA WESTERN UNION OR BANK TRANSFER AS STATED BELOW.
WESTERN UNION.
NAME: BL355ING
SURNAME: J0S3PH
ADDRESS: < - snipped - >
ALTERNATIVELY, USE THE BELOW ACCOUNTS INFORMATION IF NECESSARY.
< - snipped - >
(4) PROVIDE YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS TO ENABLE OUR CORRESPONDING LACAIXA COMMERCIAL BANK TRANSFER THE FUND TO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNTS AS FOLLOW:
BANK NAME,
BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER.
SWIFT CODE.
ACCOUNT SIGNATORY
BANK ADDRESS.
Conclusively, We will officially lift the fund to your to be provided account information successfully without your physical presence in Madrid Spain.
Thanks for your co-operation.

Needs some gingering up, I think...

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 Nov 2009 Posts: 5

SlapHappy wrote:

Quote:

I am in love with your boldness and i love men that are fearless, that is why i am getting inlove with your style of approach.

You two guys will be very close, I can feel the man-love. Slap his butt in the locker room. Laughing

sorry, but your post reminded me of what I witnessed on Sunday Night Football last night.
yikes
Very Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol9hAYBCuGc

ETA: "on"

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:26 am

@mrbojangles -Welcome to eater. Very Happy

I'll bet some hearts fluttered on the field, in the stands, and at home over that clip. Not that there is anything wrong with that... Smile

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:00 am

What a bizarre rant that was. Laughing

As your lad would say, "hahahhaha oscar laugh".

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 Nov 2009 Posts: 5

SlapHappy wrote:

@mrbojangles -Welcome to eater. Very Happy

I'll bet some hearts fluttered on the field, in the stands, and at home over that clip. Not that there is anything wrong with that... Smile

I love how the commentators totally ignored it, yet the director had no problem showing the replay, which showed a full moon not seen on the original camera angle at full speed! I even had to call my fiancee into the room to play it back for her on Tivo!

thanks for the hello. this thread (and others) are so entertaining I just had to chip in my 2c. also, I feel like I'm learning a lot Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 Nov 2009 Posts: 5

it's funny they'd keep calling you R3yn0lds, your phony handle. amazing even these lazy 'lads' could be so foolish. at what point do they actually try to find out your real name, or do they simply not care?

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:47 pm

mrbojangles1114 wrote:

at what point do they actually try to find out your real name, or do they simply not care?

That assumes that they know, or even suspect, that I'm not who I say I am; and further, that they have the means to find out who I really am.

Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:52 pm

mrbojangles1114 wrote:

at what point do they actually try to find out your real name?

I never burn lads, but the ones that figure out I've been messing with them all along always continue to address me by my character name and say that they have friends who can track me down with it. Rolling Eyes

I find it incredibly ironic that most lads don't even consider the possibility that you could be using a pseudonym, when they themselves do it the whole time. Silly lads. Laughing

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