Cameroon is lovely this time of year. Safari at last?

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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:51 pm

I hope he arrives safely - excellent bait, I'm learning alot

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

Brilliant! clapping

Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:27 pm

dr stephen williams wrote:

Two call in from 002348039******. Is that your lad, Juan?

I would assume it's my lad's Cameroon confederate. The lad is obsessing over the phone despite my constant explanations:

my lad wrote:

You can be sure of my promise but it is very important to inform you that i have managed to secure a shift in date from the management of the Camp. I thank them so much for their mature understanding.Now, our reservation will start from tuesday night as Mr.B3rnie Rhodes had rightly informed me this morning.

Madam, i am yet to understand why such expensive and luxurious camp cannot boast of any functional telephone number.It is very strange. We need to be talking.If the camp cannot boast of any telephone number to reach you, i sincerely believe that any of their staff should have a common GSM number to reach you through him or her.I expect to receive any of this from you in your subsequent mail.I am not always with my laptop and we need to be communicating.Please try your best to get any telephone number for me.Don't fail.

Another issue of importance here is to enquire from you if i can send all the five official documents to you by attachment. You can equally sign those documents there and as soon as the statutory obligations are fulfilled, your fund will be released even now that you are in Africa.How do you like the suggestion?This will make my visit simpler and just for friendly purpose.

Thanks and wishing you the best.

So the lazy cretin is trying to weasel out of the trip, getting me to print out attachments and sign them. I could do that from home, no need to come all the way to Cameroon. Sorry, smallboi, but that won't do.

Time to move this bait sideways and see if I can get this lad to finally realize what a treasure he's got in this maga. He needs to get to work quickly if he's going to get some of that money I keep giving away.

The fake lad I've been alluding to for a couple of months is more industrious than the real lad. He had no problem finding the camp and extracting money from me:

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello,

I'm sorry I couldn't write sooner but I have just spent the most amazing day with Mr. Uchenna. My head is literally swimming after 4 hours with him. He drove up to the camp this morning to meet with me. I was very curious to learn why Mrs. Diko sent him. I assumed he had documents for me to sign but he didn't, he said you would bring them. But I'm getting ahead of myself. He is the most stunningly gorgeous man I have ever seen. Tall, lithe, with skin so dark it looked like polished ebony. His smile was so radiant it could light up the darkest recesses of a subterranean cavern, let alone my heart. Wink

And his voice... It was just so melodious and beautifully accented. I could have listened to him for hours. (Well, actually I did!) It was so rich and deep that it made me shiver with excitement. I must confess that my sexual attraction to him left me breathless. And those eyes -- I know he read the deepest secrets of my soul just by looking at me.

Anyway, he came to see me in order to help me. He wanted to guide me through the unknown thickets of local culture, about which I'm afraid I knew nothing before. He explained to me why I have gone through hell for almost 3-1/2 years trying to collect Ronald's fund but I still don't have it. He told me how corrupt officials are here, from the President right on down to the shoemaker. All those years I was dealing with Mr. Soludo and his associates they were deliberately stalling! I hadn't thought about it before but it makes perfect sense! They were skimming the interest on my fund!!! I should have realized that -- the amount of interest that accumulated on an $18.6 million fund is substantial. The longer they could delay paying me what I am owed, the more money they could siphon for themselves!! But he can help guide me through that thicket. He has the contacts and connections to cut through those kinds of delays. I'm so relieved!

Then he explained how here in Africa money is paid in cash, even for large contract funds. He told me that when the payment is made, it would be in hundred dollar bills, in a trunk box. But to disguise the cash it would be coated with a special chemical to make it look like black paper. He took a piece of paper like that from his pocket to show me. Then he took a bottle of some special chemical and rubbed the paper with a soaked cloth, and suddenly a $100 bill appeared! He explained to me that when my fund is released I will be stuck with a massive number of disguised bills that will all need to be cleaned. That's a pretty overwhelming job and one that I started to dread having to do. But then he said he could do it for me, all I have to do is pay for the chemicals and his time. I agreed immediately.

Then he told me the most amazing part of the whole cultural story: he talked about voodoo. Except he called it "joojoo" or something. Now, I've never been superstitious and I've never believed in magic or anything like that but he said that it truly exists here and that it's part of daily life. He also said that I'm confronting some very bad joojoo from some people. I was skeptical so he showed me. He opened his hands in front of me, then closed his right hand, and then opened it again. A brilliant red amulet appeared in his hand, coming from nowhere. I was stunned! It looked like a monkey skull on a skinny human body, with large feet and holding a staff of some kind. He raised it above his head and blue smoke started rising around it. I just sat there with my jaw hanging open. I actually started to shiver a little. It was a bit scary. He waved the amulet over a blackened $100 bill and the paper suddenly caught fire! Then he picked up the burning money with his fingers and spoke some secret thing to it and the fire went out. I slumped in my chair and could hardly breathe from the excitement and fear. I needed no further persuasion. He said I needed an amulet to protect me, a "gray-gray" I think he called it. He handed me a leather cord to put over my head, with a small bronze figure of a monkey's foot hanging from it. He said I need to wear this all the time when I'm in Africa or even when I'm home and exchanging emails with anyone here.

In the end I hired him to be my representative here, and signed a power of attorney so he can act on my behalf. I also paid him for the chemicals and especially for the amulet. I gave him $60,000 from the cash I brought, it wasn't enough but I need to reserve some cash in case there are any fees to be paid tomorrow when I finalize the documents with you. I'll send the rest to him by Western Union when I get home.

I begged him to stay the night but he said it was urgent that he return to Abuja tonight, so he drove back to Yaounde about an hour ago. I gave him one of the laptops and a Rolex as a parting present. He touched his fingers to my cheek and smiled, and I practically melted. I have never felt such an intense physical desire before in my life. But then he turned and drove off.

I've been just sitting here since he left, trying to absorb everything. There's just so much, what I've told you about is just the broadest overview. It was an incredible day. I have goosebumps all over. But I feel stronger and more protected now, I can feel the power of the gray-gray.

I'm going to lie down and try to doze for a bit before going down to dinner. It's been a very grueling day, but also the most exciting day I've ever had.

Sincerely,
Susan

Ball's in your court, Mustapha. Better get your ass in gear. Wink

EDIT TO ADD: I should mention that this lad believes in voodoo so my story is a deliberate attempt to spook him. When I first brought the fake lad "Mrs. Diko" into the bait (the real personna of Mr. Uchenna) my real lad told me I was bewitched:

a couple of months ago my lad wrote:

. . .it is you that gave an imposter-Mrs.Diko your heart to rip off.Infact,i wonder what is actually going on between you and her.

I posit here that there is some underground current behind your dangerous conduct. . . . .It is a pity that she has charmed you not to see the truth untill much damages has been done on your finances.

I strongly believe that she has bewitched you with African Voodoo and it will be proper for you examine yourself spiritually before taking any step.God knows that i am only advising you for God's sake.Wonders shall never end.This is the height of spiritual enslavement.

. . .Sooner or later,the vile will be out from your eyes.I pray fervently to you for God to intervene on your behalf before it will be too late.

. . . If you have any local pastor or spiritualist,I advise you to contact him for your present plight is very dangerous.Honestly,You are under the influence of extra spiritual power.May God help you out Amen.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Great twist, Juan. I'll be anxious to see how he responds.

Again, I really enjoy your Susan character. She's so fiesty.

Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:32 pm

The lad is trying hard to avoid the safari. Evil or Very Mad

my lazy lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Your story is very interesting although i don't know what you stand to gain from such devilish experience.Your payment is not approved to be made by CASH talkless being defaced as Mr uchenna erroneously explained.I wonder anywhere in the world where the sum of US$18.6m can be carried around in cash.It is absurd, unthinkable and ridiculous and runs contrary to conventional banking method.

Any payment from the Govt of Nigeria no matter how small is made through KTT transfer method from the CBN.So,Mr uchenna is entirely on his own and his opinion cannot reflect that of the Govt of Nigeria which i represent.

For the issue of juju given to you,i wonder why such a highly placed woman of your status should lower herself so cheapily as to accept such satanic gift when you are not superstitious.Why should just this trip to Africa change you overnight from a godly woman you use to be to an agent of darkness?Think wisely and please return back to your normal faith.Anything from satan can never be good moreso all that glitters is not gold.

Finally,i had sugested in my previous mail the option of sending those documents to you by attachment.This will ease my journey since you can achieve direct transfer of your fund while still here in Africa.The reason why i so suggested is that in Africa nothing is concrete.It is not like in your country or Europe where things are well organised.Who is sure by tomorrow if the promised flight will be available as i was made to understand on sunday.So, we should be thinking of any eventuality.I don't want to be a liar.Honestly, i am not happy that i am stuck up in Central Africa Republic while you are here waiting for me.I feel so sorry for any inconvenience you must have endured.

Thanks and have a nice sleep.

Time for Susan to go back into low-level bitch mode. The bitch-from-hell will happen tomorrow if he doesn't come through:

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello,

I just got back to my suite after dinner. I'm tired and about to go to bed. I don't understand your sudden hostility. What do you mean, "lowering" myself, and "satanic gift"? And I never said anything about changing my faith. I'm just acknowledging that I witnessed something remarkable and I feel new strength coming from having a gray-gray amulet.

Sending documents by attachment is ludicrous. Obviously to be valid they must be signed as hard copies, not email attachments! If that's all it took I could have done it from Seattle and saved myself a lot of time and expense coming here! The whole point of this trip was to effectuate this transaction in person. Have you forgotten that basic fact already? What is wrong with you? I fully intend to see this concluded while I'm still in Africa. THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THIS GODDAMN TRIP!

You promised to meet me on Sunday and then you abruptly changed your mind. Then you promised repeatedly that you will meet with me tomorrow, and bring the documents. Now you appear to be trying to weasel out of that promise with some vague comment about whether the flight may not be available. NONSENSE! Didn't you already book a ticket? I don't believe your bullshit for one second. You're just too lazy to do the job you are paid to do.

I warn you: if you disappoint me again you will seriously regret it.

Now I'm heading off to bed. When I wake up I expect to find an email from you telling me what time to expect you. I do not plan to sit around all day long waiting for you. If you will get here in the morning, that's great. If you can't get here until evening then I plan to take advantage of one of the excursions into the Korup park to see the animals. I have better things to do than to constantly wait for you to make up your fucking mind.

I expect you here tomorrow, with ORIGINAL documents in hand. Do I make myself clear? I did NOT come all this way just to have you toy with me.

Susan

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:19 am

Susan made self clear. clapping

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 1:59 am

Another three phone calls. No emails.....

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:19 am

I'm going to bed, Susan just woke up:

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello:

I just got up after a very deep sleep. I was very tired from an exciting and intense day.

I am very disturbed not to find any reply from you. I want you to know I am not going to sit around waiting all day. I am going to embark on a bird-watching expedition in Korup park with some other guests here. I expect to return late this afternoon. If you get here before then you can simply wait for me in your suite.

But whatever time you arrive you damn well better be here by tonight or I am going to be very pissed. Believe me, you don't want that to happen.

Alas, I don't expect to find good news when I get up tomorrow. The Bitch from Hell is due for an encore.

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:00 pm

Warning: NSFW Susan rant below.

worthless, lazy lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Send me the informations as stated below:

(1)Your Room Number
(2)Telephone Number
(3)My Own Room Number

I will proceed immdiately i receive this informations.

Best Regards,
Dr.Mustapha Bello,
Chief Economic Adviser To The President

I'm really tired of this lad now. I can't believe how little ambition he has. He has just seen two rival lads walk away with fortunes because they took the trouble to visit me in person but he's still harping over the telephone issue. That has been explained to him repeatedly, and believably. You can lead a lad to money but you can't make him take it....

bitch from hell wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello:

In answer to your questions:

1. My room number: there are no room numbers because there are no rooms. As I have told you repeatedly this is a camp resort with canvas-walled suites. It is not a high-rise hotel! Suites are not numbered, each is named for a different plant or animal in the Korup preserve. My suite is named Ficus, after the plant.

2. My phone number: FOR FUCK SAKE!! How many fucking times do I have to tell you? There are NO phones in the suites!!! No phones!!! None!!!! We are in a fucking JUNGLE. This place is magnificent but it is remote and we do not have EVERY luxury. My cell phone does NOT work here and I do not have a satellite phone. Will you finally just get that into your thick skull???? THERE ARE NO PHONES AVAILABLE TO GUESTS. I have told you this 100 times, I will not tell you again! YOU IDIOT!

3. Your room number: I do not know your room number because YOU ARE NOT HERE YET! You will be assigned a tent suite when you check in. I don't fucking know which one that will be! And besides, what in hell difference does it make???

Now let's get serious for a minute: you have screwed me over, haven't you? You have lied to be for the 100th time. It's 3:30, I just got back from a bird-watching expedition and YOU HAVE NOT EVEN LEFT YET!!!

You god damn lying son of a bitch!!!!! How many times will you do this to me? I suppose as many as I allow, right? Well my patience with you and the CBN is at an end. If you, Mr. Sanusi, and the rest of your group are not here tomorrow you can all just go straight to hell.

Thank god I have Mr. Uchenna and Mrs. Diko to rely on. If you can't be bothered to deal with me as you have promised for months then I am turning everything over to Mr. Uchenna, who has my full power of attorney. He can put up with your bullshit. I'm through with all that.

You have consistently lied, stalled, changed the plans, manipulated, threatened, and just plain fucked things up for too long now. I have HAD IT!!

You have one chance and one chance only. If you are not here by tomorrow evening I will ask Mr. Uchenna to come back to the camp, pay him the rest of the money I owe him and give him all the leftover cash as an advance against future expenses, and give him the remaining laptops and watches. I don't give a shit about them anyway, they've just been a hassle. I have no interest in hauling all that crap back to the US. I'm fed up. I'm going home and turning my back on this nonsense.

Three years!! Actually pushing four!!! That's a long time to put up with the INCOMPETENCE of the CBN!!! And yet you keep getting upset when I point that out to you. What do you call your latest bullshit, if not incompetence????

I've had it with you.

Susan

Oh well, I don't expect this will do anything but it was fun to slap him again. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:03 pm

Susan's snit may have worked.

humbled lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

You are very right to be annoyed.Honestly, i will be foolish to deny you such right but please understand that it was not deliberate.I am under a boss and his wish is my command.

But not withstanding, i must commend you for your patience as well solicit for your mature understanding. I MUST make it unfailingly tomorrow before evening.Due to inability to board a connecting flight from CAR, I was forced to book a return flight back to Nigeria where now, i have contacted my traveling agent to arrange a direct flight from Abuja to Yaounde tomorrow.So, don't get annoyed ok.

You are too great to be picking offence over petty issues. I won't dissappoint you since it will be my greatest delight to catch a glimpse of you.So, relax and wait for me please. Hoping to have a nice time with you tomorrow.

How are you coping up with the weather? How are you enjoying everything including our African dishes?. sure, idle chit-chat will calm me down. Laughing

Thanks and have a blissful day.

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

This is shaping up to be great Very Happy

(Hell, it already is)

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Lad wrote:

So, don't get annoyed ok

Yes, don't get Susan annoyed. Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:28 am

Oh, well, sadly, your lad has not booked a shuttle, so he may get stuck in Yaounde for the night, though he can try to get to the camp on his own.

Is the lad traveling, you think, or is it his Cameroonian accomplice?

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:58 am

I suspect his accomplice will travel but we'll see tomorrow. I just now got this email, which is a good sign:

my lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Thanks for your mail.I am on my way to the airport.I look forward to meeting you later today.

Thanks and have a blissful day.

Given Susan's moods I don't think he'd dare make that claim if there weren't some truth buried in there, even it if means his accomplice is preparing to drive to the camp rather than him. Tomorrow should be more interesting than the last week. Meanwhile Susan is back off her bitch mode:

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello,

I just got up a half hour ago and I'm happy to find your mail. I look forward to treating you to dinner tonight. The finest champagne is my treat.

Sincerely,
Susan

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:22 am

No word here.

Hopefully that means they are en route.

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:22 am

My lad claims he is, but he's lying. (Gee, what a surprise. Rolling Eyes

)

Quote:

Dear Madam,

I just arrived Cameroun some few minutes ago and moving straight to our Foreign Payment Centre in Douala.Due to the singular fact that i will be journeying by road from Douala to Yaounde which is a pretty long distance, i will rest a bit here today and have some words with our Payment Officials before arriving to meet with you tomorrow .

It is my intension to conclude every details of your payment tomorrow and if need be, return back to Nigeria since i am not sure if the reservation you made for me is still valid.

In all things, i am happy that at long last, i am here in Cameroun again and we can see ourselves and sort out every issue amicably.

Please make sure that my champagne and gifts are intact.

Cheers in advance.

The IP is still Lagos. However I still think he has an accomplice based in Cameroon so that guy most likely will be traveling to the camp tomorrow. Fingers are crossed. My lad knows Susan will be fit to be tied if he screws up again.

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:33 am

Excellent slap, Juan. I'd hate to be a lad showing that email to my Oga. Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:02 am

Quote:

Please make sure that my champagne and gifts are intact.

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:09 pm

Hey Doc, looks like someone actually found a 5imba camp! Rolling Eyes

Bah, this lad isn't worth bothering with. What a lazy SOB. He's got a maga with tons of money that she's willingly giving to every other guyman in west Africa and he can't be bothered to come take any himself. Evil or Very Mad

world's laziest lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Good morning Madam, I have been at the camp for several hours now just wandering about.The Place is very large and even the apartment you mentioned that i will see you have over 20 buildings of which i don't know which one to find you. This is very disturbing to me. I am contemplating paying for a hotel here in Yaounde where i can relax myself.I am very exhausted.

If i fail to see you within an hour now, i will be forced to go back to our Payment Centre in Douala where i will staying till sunday.I have all your original payment documents here. It is just for you to sign and your fund will be released.I will be very patient untill i hear from you.

Of course the IP is his usual Lagos Internet cafe. Clearly he expects me to want my fund so much that I'll relent and go to Douala to get worked over by his accomplice as he originally tried to set it up. Ain't happening.

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello:

Well, you have proved to me that you are either the biggest idiot in the world or the biggest liar. I don't know where you went but you sure as hell didn't come here. I've been here all day waiting for you. I suspect you went to the chimpanzee camp just down the road from here. You probably didn't realize it because everyone looked like you.

You are full of shit and you know it. This is not a large camp! In fact it's fucking tiny!!! Not to mention there's no way to enter the camp without passing through the visitor center, where anyone could have told you where to find me. There are no more than 15 people in the camp today. And you couldn't find me??? Bullshit, Mr. Bello.

Apartment? 20 buildings? I never said anything about apartments! This is one step up from a tent! Wood floors but canvas walls and ceiling! There are no fucking apartments for miles!

That's it. I've had it with your incompetence. This is the last straw. I'm going to email Mrs. Diko now and ask her to send Mr. Uchenna here no later than Monday morning. My flight leaves Yaounde in the evening so I'll be heading out of here by early afternoon. Mr. Uchenna already has my signed power of attorney and is authorized to sign on my behalf. I will give him my remaining $50,000 or so in cash and all the presents that I wasted money and effort on. I don't give a shit what he does with them. He can sell them on eBay if he wants. I'm finished. You can direct all future correspondence concerning my fund to him: [email protected]. He will be my agent from now on, I do not wish to personally ever have to deal with your arrogance or stupidity again.

With all due respect: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I'm bored with him now.

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:34 pm

Wow, must be the chimpanzee camp... Rolling Eyes

Too bad we can't actually slap this idiot. Do you have photos? I think a wanted poster teling people he is a renegade informer for the EFCC who absconded with USD300,000 of the EFCCs money would be great. Put a bounty on him, and distribute the wanted poster to every Lago based scammer we can think of...

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 5:30 pm

I think Susan's slap, and threat to give everything to a rival, might have woken him up. He's sounding a bit more frantic now.

I think the email my fake lad sent yesterday might also have jolted him off his lazy butt:

my fake lad wrote:

HAHAHAHA!!!!! U STUPID IDIOT FOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL BASTERD! DI MAGA DEY VERY VEX WIT YOU ,IDIOT .IS GOOD 4 ME , NOW SHE GIVE ME UR MONEY AN LAPTOPS . FOOL LIKE YOU CANT EVEN PICK UP MONEY DI MAGA GIVE 2 ! U NO FIT TO BI GUYMAN ,U DON KNOW HOW TO TAKE DI MONEY WHEN THE MAGA GIVE IT 2 U .
U R SO FUCKIN IDIOTICAL DAT IT B ALAMRING. DOES U BREATH ON UR OWN? CAN U REMBER TO BREATH WITHOUT UR MAMA TELL U 2? FUCKIN IDIOT BASTERD, FUCK U AN FUCK UR FAMILT OFF BASTERDS, FUCKIN BLOODY MUGU BASTERD. U B DE MOST FUCKIN DUM GAY BEAST I EVER DID MEET , FUCKIN BRANS IN UR ASSHOLE BOI ,DAT B U ,UR FARTHER HAS NO COCK AFTER GETTIN IT CHEEWED OFF BY A GAYMAN IN DE CAFE .GO BACK 2 DE HOLE U CRAWL OUT FROM, STUPID BABY .

He sent this pleading email to Susan twice this morning:

my lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

I have been looking for you here all day.Please, can you or Mr. B3rnie Rhodes, Operations Manager - Simba Safari Group Ltd call me now on this phone number(995xxxxx). I am in Yaounde now. Please act very fast. I am here with your fund release documents.

One problem, he's still at his usual IP. But I have to believe his Cameroon contact really is trying to find the camp now. I replied:

Susan wrote:

Why are you wasting your time in Yaounde when I'm in the safari camp, not the city? What is wrong with you? Why don't you just drive up to the camp?? I gave you directions! Or are you just playing games with me like you have been ever since I got here. I'm sick of your screwing around. This place is not hard to find. If you really are in Yaounde get off your fat ass and come to the camp. I am waiting.

I waited a bit and he wrote again:

my lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Please Madam, be fast i am waiting please. I want us to conclude this deal today so i can go back tomorrow.I am waiting for the call.

There is a touch of panic in his tone now.

Bernie did call. I looped a wav file of static and noise and held it to the phone for background sound. The call went to voicemail. Evil or Very Mad

I left a message but of course no callback number, then Susan wrote the lad:

Susan wrote:

Mr. Rhodes just told me that he managed to borrow a satellite phone from a guest but when he called you he got your voicemail.

I told you you to stay by your phone, why did you have it shut off? He went to a lot of trouble to make that call!

Just now he wrote back:

increasingly frantic lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Please call back now okay.Please.

Aww, too bad Bernie already returned the phone to its owner.

EDIT TO ADD: and another email just came in... He's nervous now. I think it's time for Susan to go ballistic again. Wink

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 6:08 pm

That lad needs slapped.

No word from him or his Cameroonian counterparts.

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:43 am

It's final call for lad-boy.

earlier today, my lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Please i 'm still waiting.Try and call me back so that the hotel where i am can direct Mr.Rhodes how best to pick me up. They need to talk to you or Mr. Bernie Rhodes, Operations Manager. Plaese I am here with the documents.

I ignored him until just now, 7:30AM in Cameroon.

Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Bello:

The camp shuttle can't simply drop their normal schedule and go pick you up at any time, anywhere. If you aren't going to drive up here yourself, then you can catch the camp shuttle in front of the Hilton hotel, Boulevard du 20 Mai, Yaounde, at 4:30PM. That is the only daily scheduled pickup for the shuttle. Mr. Rhodes said he sent you all this information a couple of weeks ago so I don't understand why you're asking about it now.

Keep in mind that today or tonight is my last opportunity to see you. Mr. Uchenna is coming here tomorrow morning to pick up the rest of the money and gifts, unless you get here first. I am leaving on Monday afternoon to return home. I am not looking forward to the very long flight.

It would make far more sense for you to drive here than to wait for the afternoon shuttle. If you take the shuttle you will waste almost the entire day. Time is running out so I encourage you to simply get in a car and drive up. You could be here for lunch.

I came all the way here primarily to meet you and Mr. Sanusi and you have both failed me totally. Thank god the trip wasn't a complete waste, I was able to meet with Mr. Williams and make an investment in his gold mine, and I certainly enjoyed meeting Mr. Uchenna. It is clear to me now that he is the only competent person around so unless you get off your lazy ass and come here in the next several hours I will have to rely on him to get all this mess sorted out. You have proved yourself to be utterly incompetent.

And whatever happened to Mr. Sanusi? He was also supposed to come, along with 3 other officials, but he hasn't bothered to contact me for well over a week.

Such incompetence is unforgivable.

One final ray of hope before this one goes totally south.

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:56 pm

^^^You told him good, Susan!

clapping

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:31 pm

Well, this didn't work out quite as I'd hoped, and now it's winding down because I'm getting bored with it. But I am enjoying seeing him finally realize how badly he blew it. I'd really love to hear his conversations with the Cameroon-based lad. I gather that lad expects to be coddled so my lad is stuck between Susan's abuse and the other lad's laziness.

His oga will not be happy. Magas like Susan aren't easy to find. Wink

this morning, my increasingly desperate lad wrote:

Dear Madam,

Please i don't want my coming here to be wasted.I spend so much money to come here just to help you.I am here already with your fund release documents.It will not be fear if you give Mr.Uchenna my gifts. [At least I know what his priorities are.) Rolling Eyes

Please understand me, this is my first time of coming to Yaounde.I don't know anyway here.I need your help and understanding..

Please ask Mr. Rhodes to call me on that number so that he can come and pick me.I will not be happy if i go back without seeing you.Plaese madam Please. For the name of God.

Susan is not impressed.

Susan wrote:

You've had over a week to come here. You made several promises to do so and broke each one. Now that I'm about to leave you're making it sound like it's MY fault that you didn't come and you're pressuring me to find a way to get your here.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why didn't you get in a car this morning and just drive here? It's an easy trip.

I told you yesterday, the camp shuttle runs on a schedule. It is not a taxi service, they won't just jump and race off to pick you up anywhere at any time. The shuttle leaves from the Hilton Hotel in 6 minutes. I just hope to hell that's where you are right now because otherwise you'll miss the one chance to catch it. I gave you the address yesterday, Mr. Rhodes gave it to you a couple of weeks ago. You've had all the time in the world to make plans. If you didn't, it's your own fucking fault.

If you do miss it and still want to get here tonight you'd better hire a taxi and get your ass in gear.

Mr. Rhodes left for Douala last night and is gone until tomorrow. But there's no reason to bother him anyway, he's not going to be your personal driver. It's up to you to get here, not him. The shuttle is is Yaounde right this second. All you have to do is get on it.

an hour later, my whiny lad wrote:

Please Madam, help me out. You can ask Mr. Rhodes to call me from Douala also. Please i beg of you. I put everything just to make this trip.Let some one call me or give the number to call.No body agreed to help me find you. I am here now Madam with all the release documents of your fund. That is all that matters now.

I am waiting please Madam . I beg you in the name of God.Please and please i want to see you.I love you. Shocked

exasperated Susan wrote:

I have no way of contacting Mr. Rhodes. Have you forgotten that I have no phone here??? And even if I did, Mr. Rhodes is unlikely to have one on this trip. And even if he did, I would have no way of knowing the number. So there's no possible way I can contact him. Do you understand???

The fact that you are writing me now tells me that you chose to not take the scheduled shuttle at 4:30. WHY NOT?????? How fucking hard would it have been to get your lazy ass to the Hilton? You're already in Yaounde! I told you yesterday that you could easily catch that shuttle. It would have taken no effort at all. But you're so fucking lazy you want Mr. Rhodes, who is a busy man, to drop everything and be your servant. How fucking arrogant are you, anyway???

There is NO way I can arrange for someone to go pick you up. Your ONLY option now is to get into a taxi (or are you so stupid you don't know what a taxi is???) and have him drive you here. You have the instructions on how to find the camp. It's not difficult. Everyone else seems to manage just fine.

It's 5:30. Time is rapidly running out. Don't blame me if you're too dumb to get into a taxi and come here in the next hour.

And please, skip the "I love you" bullshit. I have no interest in a romantic relationship with an idiot. All I want is to conclude this goddamn contract that your government has owed my late husband since 2005, and I've been trying to collect since 2006. This is getting ridiculous.

Get into a taxi and get your ass here in the next couple of hours, or go to hell and rot. It's your choice.

Tomorrow morning Mr. Uchenna will pick up her money and laptops and she'll head on home, leaving my lad to lick his wounds. Oh yeah, Uchenna will keep dumping piles of salt in those wounds. Wink

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