10000 Mile Safari! ("JOKE LIKE YOU GO TO HALL")

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:39 pm

A payphone in Egypt? A few years ago there used to be some listed, but I can't find them anymore. Only USA and Canada numbers and some in Europe are listed on a few sites. Mad

Keep at them Nick, maybe you'll hit lucky lottery number 2! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:53 pm

BD: It's a pleasure.

devil_woman wrote:

ITPs so do telemarketing companies all the time, but I get your point we are above such nasty tricks.

This isn't just about "nasty tricks". The difference is that telemarketers put ITPs in contact with obnoxious morons whose greatest weakness is simply getting the phone put down on them. Lads, on the other hand, are not only criminals, but they're also incredibly tenacious.

devil_woman wrote:

My phone dropped into the sea, got trodden on by a horse, got flushed down the loo by my cat.

You don't know this guy. Really, you don't know this guy.

Slappy: We'll see, we'll see...

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:44 pm

^^ forgets that baiting as a female means one can be really dipsey!

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:36 am

Way to go, Nick! clapping

419Eater is my life Joined: 30 May 2009 Posts: 298

Can't you just make up a phone number? Or get a K7 number and claim it's a cell phone?

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:32 pm

^^ Nice try, but no. I already told him - while "leaving" the States - that I was not able to secure a satellite phone. I thought this would give me a great excuse to not have to talk to him, but really it only made things more difficult. I think I'm gonig to let him ignore me for a few days so that I can make up a story for him for which he'll have no alibi.

Corona: Thanks.

DW: Smile

Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 6:25 am

You didn't think I'd let this die, did you? Wink

I decided that trying to get a Cairo phone number would be nigh impossible, so I tried a variation of SlapHappy's suggestion.

I wrote:

Dear Dougl@s

It was a pleasure meeting you this afternoon. I know you told me that I don't need to write to you until our next meeting tomorrow, but I just had a question that I needed to clear up.

You mentioned shipping insurance, but you didn't say whether that was included in the $7800 that I'll be paying you tomorrow. So will I need to bring any more money to cover it or not?

Thanks for everything you're doing for me.

J0hn

The above letter was CC'd to Matty and, sure enough, within 5 hours he responds.

Matty wrote:

Dear J0hn,

Who did you pay the money to, am not awear of this development, you wil lose your money if you pay anybody, douglas is in London

dont pay anybody u lose u money if u do

Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:45 am

Lad speaks the truth

Quote:

dont pay anybody u lose u money if u do

but then we know that. Wink

Nick you go from strength to strength. He'll be paying you next. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:52 am

Great move, Nick. Heck, I think I can see this bait going to Indonesia, Thailand, Hong Kong.... Very Happy

Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:24 pm

Oooh, if he comes to Thailand, I can guarantee him a 'friendly' reception... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:19 pm

DW: Tempting... but I'll pass... Wink

Slap: I can only hope. I've been entertaining the idea of *ahem* getting in touch with my mobile provider back home and getting my number transferred to a satellite phone in Cairo, but I wonder whether he'll buy it. I mean, it would be infinitely easier to just by a disposable SIM card in Egypt.

Wright: Hopefully it includes handcuffs.

I stood my ground with Matty, but he's not convinced (I wonder why).

Matty wrote:

Sorry Your are wrong, like i said before whatever you do is at your own risk, but bear in mind that anyday you try to claim any money from fake douglas you will be arrested.

Call me here 004470xxxxxxxx
Watch you back whereever you are before you rae been kidnaped in africa

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Please don't get kidnapped Nick. On Second thought , that might be really interesting. Very Happy

Sorry about the phone woes. Sad

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 2:08 pm

Would he buy the satellite phone thing? Sure, why wouldn't he, especially if you told him the salesman told you they were infinitely more reliable than the cell phone services in Egypt. Smile

That is, If you are really going to talk to him live. If you sound really excited about finally getting this communication thing straightened out, he will forget all about how you did it. He'll be so glad just to try and talk you to him. "Why doesn't your number show on my phone?" will be his first question if you call him. "It's a satellite thing, I guess. Do you want me to walk back across town now and ask the salesman about it?"

Kidnappers use machetes a lot, don't they?
If you do get kidnapped, make sure that you need a good plastic surgeon after you escape. I heard that Bankok hospitals are one of the biggest places for foreigners to get great surgeries cheap! Smile

Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:57 pm

DQ: If I get kidnapped, I'm certain that in a matter of mere minutes they'll be paying me to leave.

Slap: You are one twisted individual. Very Happy

Where do all of those great ideas come from? I'll make sure to make use of both. Starting with...

Matty wrote:

Hello,J0nh

can you please give me your Egypt phone number i will like to talk with you on phone

I'm glad I've got him to bring these things up so I don't have to. Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

When one of my lads got robed, he said they used big guns and matchettes.They also beated him badly and he had to take a pain reliefer.
They stole his jewelries and his phone and he hoped I could get a new one for him or he couldn't call me any more.
He still called. Rolling Eyes

@SlapHappy those are great ideas. Very Happy

Good luck with your calls Nick and your possible kidnapping.
I hope another safari is on the way. Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:52 pm

I'm demented, Nick. Didn't you know that? Laughing

Here are a couple of links from googling "medical tourism asia."
http://medical-travel-asia-guide.blogspot.com/
http://www.medithai.net/news/category/asia

Watch out, Nick! If you crack a joke about the monarch in Thailand, they will toss you into jail for 15 years! Wink

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:32 pm

Dramaqueen wrote:

I hope another safari is on the way. Wink

As do I. Now my short safaris aren't quite as fulfilling as they were before. I've become baiting a junkie. Very Happy

Slap: You almost deserve a piece of that pith helmet for all of your helpful suggestions. Laughing

All I can do well is yell and curse at them, sophisticated bohemian that I am.

Matty's really beginning to surprise me.

Matty wrote:

nigaaa, can we work together

I'm still deciding whether I should blow my cover and tell him it was a test all along, or resume acting coy. Or perhaps, I should do what's always the best thing and find the balance between the two.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:59 pm

Hmmm. I wonder if Matty thinks someone is peeking into your emails, a "heckler" maybe? It could be a subtle way of Matty trying to contact him.
Either that or he suspects you are a lad, as only a lad can fool a lad. Wink

I think I might make up a "heckler" character, the fake Dougie. And your main character plays it straight, right into the kidnappers hands. Maybe the heckler can help you escape! Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:05 pm

Brilliant!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:24 am

Slap was right once again. He must be the Peter Schiff of baiting. Very Happy

Honestly, I find it frightening that any lad even believes my terrible attempts at ladspeak but, sure enough, this one went for the hook.

Chinu@ wrote:

"nigaaa, can we work together"

HELLO GUY U DON NOW I WATCH IDIOT J0HN G@CY. MY BOIS GET ACCES TO HIS ACOUNT TO KEEP TRACK AN MAKE SURE HE IS TRUE TO WAHT HE SAY.
LISSEN GUY I DONT NOW U BUT IT JUS BUSINESS OKEY? WE CAN WORK TOGERHER IF U A READY.
YOUR"S CH|NUA

Shockingly enough...

Matty wrote:

i will like to talk with you on phone can i have your phone number wthere are u live guy

I reply with another poorly written letter.

Chinu@ wrote:

GOODMORNING MY GUY

LISSEN I DONT NOW U OKEY AN AM NOT GOING TO DO WHAT SMAL BOI LIKE U SAY OKEY. IF U WON MY RESPECT THAN U HAV TO EARN IT. NOW LISSEN I THINK WE CAN GET MOR MONEY OUT OF HIM IF WE WORK TOGETHER OKEY SO WOULD U DO THAT?

GUY I DEY CAIRO RIGHT NOW BUT AM FROM NAIJA. WHERE U DEY?

YOUR"S CH|NUA

No response to Johnny's account yet, though. For the record, I had replied in my typical obnoxiously coy manner.

Johnny wrote:

Dear Gen3

I don't understand. What does this mean?

We are working together, but I'll ask you not to use that vulgar word with me.

J0hn

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:57 am

Matty's move next. Very Happy

This could go lots of ways now, all of them bad for the lad, if he believes the lad heckler is real. Ideally, he wants to talk to each of you on two different numbers to establish "the truth." But, which way will he try? Work with the heckler, or do an end around him by getting John on the phone and asking him to change his email addy, or only use the phone? Will he tell John that someone is watching him?
His head is spinning right now. Laughing

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