M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:43 pm

well done to all those involved, special thanks to slaphappy and frumpy for taking the reigns. RL has kept me busy

Armstrong hasn't contacted any of my characters, his last email was to jack on the 1st of october.

Quote:

Hello Jack,

How are you doing i just wanted to let you kno that i have arrived to Parakou in Benin, it was a very long jorney for me and my secretary, we left Nigeria yesterday with the hope that we will make down to Pendjari but unforunately it was late when we got to Benin but it was very late when we arrived so we have to spend the night in Cotonu State and we continue with the jorney this morning; Parakou is about ç hours from Cotonu so we also arrived late here in Parakou; I would have send you email but i could not have acess to internet on my phone so i have to locate a cyber cafe here to talk to you; I will be arriving at the Slmba Safari camp by 11am tomorrow so i will like you to make the necessary arrangement on how to reach you at the camp because i may not be able to get acess to internet when i got to Pendj@ri national park so tell me how to go over to you tomorrow by 11am; I am exhaused that me and my secretary could not be able to book hotel for tonight and no money for going back to Nigeria so please make it convinient for me to reach you tomorrow by 11am, I will check my email at the same cafe tomorrow before i depart to Pendjari, I await your response:

Regards,

Amstrong

and Jack replies

Mr Moses

I apologize for my late reply, I am in the hospital just outside Natitingou. A few hours from the airport I became very sick and started vomiting. My stomach was hurting very badly and my arms and legs became swollen. The driver rushed me to the nearest hospital where I have been in a coma for quite a few days.

The doctor said that I had been bitten by something and It caused an allergic reaction. I find this odd because I have been to this area many times before now and never had a trouble. The doctor said they will be releasing me on wednesday and I will return to the united states. I have not spoken to anyone at the company, I am curious if you enjoyed the meeting and what you thought of the hospitality of our hosting company?

I hope you had a wonderful time and met many new friends. I am sure I will receive the full report when I return to the office. I hope you proved that you are committed to the company as you said you would.

I will talk later

Jack

I could always agree to meet him, only to be taken prisoner by rebels?

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:02 pm

Quote:

I have not spoken to anyone at the company, I am curious if you enjoyed the meeting and what you thought of the hospitality of our hosting company?

I like that line of yours Very Happy

95% of all work has been done by Slaphappy alone, I was mainly watching him perform in awe, his various emails and the lad´s replies alone are a nice comedy drama about caretaking of a lad and the 5th act has not been written yet Smile

Glad you are back. Nothing new at all from my part tho.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:47 am

@MG- Gee, MG, I don't know how we are going to explain your last email to Armstr0ng. Confused

You see, you were at the 55C meeting and show, and you went with Pat and the others to Naimey Hospital, not Natitingou!
You must be suffering from Wernicke's_encephalopathy, severe enough to cause Korsakoff's syndrome, with it's symptomatic confabulations. That is, invented memories which are then taken as true due to gaps in memory sometimes associated with blackouts. You have either a huge thiamine deficiency caused by excessive drinking, or you got bitten by a Japanese mukade centipede. Razz

Or, maybe Pat is suffering from obsessive passive aggression syndrome and Stickler's Psychosis, where any deviation to her perfectly conceived plans for company agents causes psychotic retaliation? Laughing

Now that would be funny. Apologize profusely, and tell Armstr0ng that Pat has been put on Administrative Leave Of Abcence, and is now in the care of Dr. W@yne Dw0ps M.D. PhD. She is resting comfortably now in a padded cell in Naimey Hospital, and getting treatment. Laughing

edit to add: When Armstr0ng didn't make it on time and all the way to the park office, Pat became completely unhinged and told everyone that Armstr0ng changed his mind and just wasn't interested in becoming a Moosechuckle Modeling Agent. Then she lied to him and never called Bernie about the shuttle bus. Laughing

Wow, this lad must be made of rubber, and velcro! Shocked

Dr. David O. croaks again! And all in bold font! Laughing

Quote:

from David O
to Patricia
date Tue, Oct 6, 2009
subject Re: CROAK.

Patricia Cr0k1n,

Thanks for your statements and expressions.

I am not well pleased either okay.

I run a Chamber without insults and personal feelings between I and my staffs,
hence your initial stages to good but healthy business relationship is very
achieving and encouraging to every being too

Thanks.

Dr.David O

So, ummm, he is saying that he likes my style of encouraging a great relationship? Wonderful! I'm so damn glad to hear that! At least someone appreciates my efforts around here. Wink

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:52 am

Give him a little photo task Smile

that deliberately involves camera work, actors, a stage show etc.
Then when he comes up moaning for money [revolutionary idea coming now...], how about suggesting a personal cash-up-front meeting for him to be able to fulfill that task ?
I mean, Pat wants the men around her (including Dr. Daddy-O) to be lucky, doesn´t she?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:02 pm

Pat is sending Dr. Daddy-O over to Cammy. Smile

Quote:

Dear Dr. David O,

I'm glad that my words were enlightening as to the reasons why you are a
complete failure as a serious businessman and a lying, lazy, time-wasting sack
of shit. You may even be a failure at being a bullfrog, too.
Based on your desire to continue in your career here at Moosechuckle Modeling
despite my obvious and frank opinions as to your suitability for the tasks in
front of you, I've decided to give you the rare opportunity for some excellent
corporate training and development.

I have no doubt that you will fail your first assignment. I have put a gambling
bet on it with one of the board members. I have bet $5,000 that you will miss
every single deadline given to you by Ms. C@mille Wh1te, our Agent and Model
Development Coordinator. I have faith that you live so deep down in "African
Time" that you will even have trouble getting out of bed before noon, and that
"tomorrow" to you means "two weeks from now." I also believe that you are
not man-enough to take one sliver of opportunity and have the responsibility to
do any real work at all. I would be happy if a small boy sponge-skinned croaker
like you proved me wrong and I lost the bet. Never happen though. I am never
wrong about my perceptions regarding agents.

Please contact Ms. White at xxxxxxx.xxxx
Perhaps C@mmy speaks "Bullfrog Language." I only know "Bullshit Language"
when I hear it. Best of luck to you. You are seriously going to need it.
Maybe she can do something other than make a tasty meal out of you.
She has a lucrative and well paying assignment that needs an agent. Perhaps,
you will do? If not, I'll still make $5,000 on my bet. Smile

Warmest regards,
Pat

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:07 pm

Cammy is such a sweetie, he'll think his luck has changed... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:14 pm

Quote:

You may even be a failure at being a bullfrog, too.

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:32 pm

And signing off with "Warmest regards" on top of that Laughing

This Doctor surely can take a heap of abuse!

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:45 pm

Aw Slappy reminds me of The Bard.

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:25 pm

D4rl1ngt0n has returned to the fold like a good little sheep:

Quote:

I will look for a nice photographer in my locale to take the torso shot as you requested but i want you to give me few days to search for one so that i will not repeat the same mistake that i did.
Thanks for giving me second chance.

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:18 am

Don't you just lurve this lad?

Quote:

that i will not repeat the same mistake that i did.
Thanks for giving me second chance.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:14 pm

devil_woman wrote:

Aw Slappy reminds me of The Bard.

Thanks for the compliment, DW, but I surely am nowhere near that level.
Maybe a lesser bard, in the traditions of the 17th century Irish ones, where I read about them on Wikipedia, "As officials of the court of king or chieftain, they performed a
number of official roles. They were chroniclers and satirists whose job it was
to praise their employers and damn those who crossed them. It was believed
that a well-aimed bardic satire, glam dicenn, could raise boils on the face of
its target."
That sounds like Pat all over! Boils? Maybe David is really a toad, not a bullfrog. He does kind of look like one. Laughing

I think Pat may have gone overboard on Dr. David O. Just Jane said she tried everything, and couldn't get rid of David. Was it the bet? Calling him a small boy? The comparison to a bullfrog? He hasn't written Pat back yet today. Cammie, could you give him a poke?

@MG and BluthBanana - Send Armstr0ng another opportunity when you get a chance. He's being silent to Pat. Smile

@yastreb - Nice job on D@rlington. Pat was >< this close to winding up, and smacking him in the back of his head if he didn't straighten himself out and fly right.

Pat sent three more prospects our Welcome Email. Smile

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:07 pm

D4rl1ngt0n has come up with the goods... but first... (emphasis added)

Quote:

This the attach copy of the torso shot you ask me to provide i hope this one will be endorse by you and the rest of mooseknuckle personnel.I am lanky,i believe it will not be a barrier because i don't look outward but the potential inward.Thanks for your encouragement.

Bollocks! Modelling is all about the outward appearance!

Seeing that, do you think that Darl has what it takes to be the African version of Thongor (Lin Carter's take on Conan)?

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:21 pm

get him to shave that fluff around his belly button!
Really great! This lad is not spoiled by a safari & a mugu wedding, he shall see that MM changes life. I wonder if he can do some training and exercise and, in a month from now, resembles Little Conan Thumbs up

Perhaps photo proof showing him actually exercise with dumbbells?

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:18 pm

It will take him a while to get to this stage. Laughing

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:44 am

Cammy to Darl just now:

Quote:

THAT's what I was talking about! Welcome back!
I showed your pix to Pat and it certainly pinned her ears back.
There's a lot more to tell you but there are a couple of things to pin down.
You are in the catbird seat now!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:29 pm

Pat's ears are indeed pinned back, and she is in shock! Very Happy

@yastreb - Did Dr. David O. contact you yet? If not, Pat has an email in Bullfrog Language to send him. Smile

Sent out one more email to another prospect today.

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:10 pm

I fear that Armstr0ng M0ses is no longer interested in our company, he has failed to contact anyone and hasn't returned any scammer emails to another character I was baiting him with. Nobody knows where he is.

on another note, Slaphappy provided me with a couple email addys belonging to previous mooseknuckle stars, I sent a 'welcome' email off and found this in jeremy's box today

Quote:

Hello Jeremy,

Thanks so much for your email response, i had worked so hard with M00seknuckle Business but never one day get any good thing from them, i never know you before, i knew Randy 0ldman jack Smith and many more.

Well, i appreciates your email, I has spent a lot of money because of M00seknuckle Business. if Travelled to another man Country, Cotonuo Benin Republic. at the end absolutely nothing.

Finally, i will still give you a tryer.

More details.

Thanks.

Ub@h Eric lloba.

Mr Ub@h

Thank you for your email, the job I offer does not involve travel and I will apologize now for the actions of the other managers.

The work I offer is a bit out of the ordinary but I have heard good things and thought I would offer this to you. I am curious if you are willing to star in a movie we are producing, the pay is quite substantial and the bonus is you will be surrounded by many beautiful american woman. I will assure you that all expenses you incur will be repaid to you by the company.

Is this something you might be interested in? If you answer yes we will need to start immediately so there are no delays. I also have approval from the board of directors to initiate payments to the actors without the usual 30 day waiting period.

Cheers

Jeremy

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:01 pm

Something about flies, honey and vinegar came to mind when I saw this:

Quote:

Am happy for having a boss like you,i am happy that the company have endorse the pix.Let me wait for the good news.

Oh, he can wait a bit then. Since he can't be Thongor, we have to find another role for him...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:19 pm

^^

He's "happy." Are you taking requests for his new role, yastreb?

Big surprise! jump_4_joy

Quote:

from Amstr0ng
to Patrici@
date Fri, Oct 9, 2009
subject Re: I BELEIVE THE ALMIGTHY GOD WILL SURELY REWARD YOU FOR THIS, AND GIVE ME BACK ALL MY LUST

Good day Emily,
How are you doing now? I am now in Nigeria, I would have email you earlier
but i felt sick since tuesday but i am fine now and how are you? I learnt
that you have depart to USA right? and how is Jack doing too? I am sorry i
could not be able to meetup the appointment, I can put the blame on myself,
so what do we do now? More so the moosechuckle website given to me i try to
call the numbers on it put it not valid, I implore you to provide to me a valid
phone number to speak with either you or Jack, get back to me ASAP.
Regars,
Amstr0ng.

Wow! Armstrong came back. He puts the blame on himself? Pat must be very
convincing. But he sent this message for Emily to Pat's email addy.

@MG - what do you want to do next with him? And also maybe tell him about
Emily's theft of his cash in Abuja?
Do you want to try to make him an actor in your production, or send him to
Cammie for Thong@r project?
or, let him "decide which one," so he will have to take responsibility for
choosing one of them??

I will tell him that I forwarded this to Jack, and that I'm glad he got home ok,
sorry he was sick....
But, MG, we need to get our "stories" synchronized regarding Pat. Is she in the
mental ward of Naimey Hospital, and Jack's earlier story about himself is
correct? Or, did Jack suffer some memory loss from his own illness, and doesn't
remember being at 55C, the show, the monkey incident, taking Pat to Naimey
Hospital? It's important, as he might have his creditors watching him now, if
we assume the most difficult baiting at this point. Smile

Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:09 pm

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1442261#1442261

No worries, Bolleboos, you have just received an ASEM from a few people I have almost forgotten about Embarassed

Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:18 pm

Sent a little motivational speech to the Doc..a.fter all, he has done all the form requirements, and asks for the way forward.

Quote:

Dear Dr. David O,

I am proud to announce that the managers, at their today´s meeting, have accepted your complete application.
There were a few voices emphsizing deadlines and illness but even more were speaking in your favor, including me. I am convnced that strong determination, a stiff upper lip facing new challenges, leading a group of young people as founder of our Lagos group of M00seknuckle, und undeterred dedication are the columns of our newly founded Nigeria bureau of M00oseknuckle.

You will no doubt be heading this office. Your application, out off more than twenty, has been chosen singularly.

I have no doubt that God has led you to me. Your ideosyncratic command of the language shows a determined leader type.
It is time to talk about a meeting very soon, and more imoortantly, to introduce the Nigerian model market to the circle of investors.
Therefore we are preparing, among other things, a 2010 modeling brochure.

What do you suggest would be a self-speaking input of M00sekuckle Nigeria as represented by you?

What can we altogether do to move M00seknuckle forward to greater heights?

--
Faithfully yours, R. O

Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:36 pm

SlapHappy wrote:

^^

He's "happy." Are you taking requests for his new role, yastreb?

Well, I need a Thongor or a Karm Karvus - not sure about Sharajsha at this stage (that last just needs to be (ahem) venerable) - and D4rl1ngt0n doesn't make the grade, so he can be Shangoth; so please send forth 4rmstr0ng to test out - he has a good name for it!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:33 am

OK - back on 15 September I wrote to Michae1 3his thus:

Quote:

I'm the dedicated Agent and Model Development Coordinator for M00s3knuckl3 Ent3rpris3s. Please reply so I can get to know you.
I have good vibes about you and I know this will be good.

Well, that proved to be a bust - until today:

Quote:

who are you, please can u tell me ur personal details and scan ur picture so that i can see u. TRY AND REPLY ME

Bloody hell...

Cammy was as sweet as ever:

Quote:

My picture is on the website if you're curious about how I look.
What would you like to know about me?

And separately came this:

Quote:

pls can you call me on phone so that we can talk this is my phone number <[-snipped-]>

This I of course ignored as Cammy is hearing-impaired.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:04 pm

Pat's loverboi, HERO MIKE, also sent these two messages to Pat about Mr. G0m3r.
But he sure doesn't explain all this crazy language. What the hell does it mean?
Is Mr. G0m3r calling Pat a magician? Smile

Quote:

from Michael
to Patricia
date Mon, Oct 12, 2009
subject A LETTER MR G0M3R WROTE ME

Dear Pat,

how is life overythere i hope things are cool. do you know Mr G0M3R CALLED YOU A
FOOL AND INSULT ME.THIS IS THE MR G0M3R WROTE ME

PAT CR0K1N MY MAGA NOW. U SMALL WU MG BOI STILL SUCK GOAT TEAT
<he attached Fake Mr. G0m3r's email>
====
from Michael
to Patricia
date Mon, Oct 12, 2009
subject ANOTHER LETTER MR G0M3R WROTE ME WITH HIS PICTURE

Dear Pat,
this is another letter MR GOMER WROTE ME WITH HIS PICTURE.
<Fake Mr. G0m3r's email and a link to a pic I sent from my fake G0m3r character>

I CHOP U. U SUFFER KING OF FOOLS!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'll need to carefully consider my options here. I want him to travel again. Will he fall in love with C@mmy? Confused

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