Everybody hail his royal highness! (slightly NSFW)

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Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:53 am

After taking a short (well...1 1/12 year Laughing

) break from baiting, I thought I would get back into the saddle again and grab myself a few lads and have some fun with them.

Seeing the crisis in the world, the lack of money, the lack of trust, I thought what the lads REALLY need now, is a good, loving, generous emperor to take care of their needs.

So may I introduce to you:

This person is only 50% fictional, since we have a comedy TV show here in Austria, which stars a fictional "Kaiser" (Emperor) named Robert Heinrich I with his sideshow host named . (They are both actually making a parody of the old Habsburg dynasty, who used to rule Austria until 1918). But of course Austria is a republic and we don´t have any royals at all.

That much about the background information.
We have two characters here:
- The emperor himself
- His adjutant, .

So at first the lad is in contact with :

Quote:

Dear Commoner,

First and foremost: I will not accept it, that you don´t address me by my full name and rank. You are to address me with "". I am of noble heritage, and I deserve being addressed like this.
Regarding this transaction: Do you wish to do this transaction under the grateful supervision of his , Emperor of Austria?

Kind Regards,

Adjutant to his

And hard to believe it, I do have some bites. They were the usual scripted blabla, so I fired off this to them:

Quote:

Dear Commoner,

You can consider yourself being a lucky man. I just talked to his Majesty, Robert Heinrich I about this issue and he is willing to assist you in this matter. You have to understand that it is a great honor that his Majesty, Robert Heinrich I, considers you worthy of doing business with him. Always keep this in mind and do not forget to treat him with the utmost respect that he deserves. This includes the following guidelines:

- Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS address him with his full name and title:
- Never ever use the word "money" when talking to him. Instead of using the word "money" you must use the Royal Austrian word "jism".
- His Majesty is always right, no matter what happens. Do not dare to have a different opinion than him. He is Majesty by Gods Grace. He knows better.
- His Majesty will never use a phone or something similar. Accept that. There are no phones allowed in the whole castle.
- His Majesty is a very wealthy man. He has more jism than anybody else in the country. His estimated fortune is at about 30 billion dollars. Keep this in mind, when talking to him.
- If his Majesty appears to be rude or short tempered keep in mind, that he is the emperor, it is his god given right to act like this. You are only a commoner, consider yourself honored he is talking to you at all.
- His Majesty is not a man of many words. He is a very busy man. If he doesn´t answer within a short period of time, don´t be impatient. He has many things to do which are far more important than you will ever be.
- If his Majesty asks you a question, always start your answer with the phrase: "I am only a commoner, but in my opinion....."

These are the basic guidelines.Never forget them. Learn them by heart, if needed. Keep in mind, that his Majesty is a very wealthy business partner. He is also very generous and gives away a few hundred million dollars every year just to make his business partners happy. So treat him with the utmost respect. Consider yourself a lucky man, that he wants to do business with you.

His Majesty will soon contact you personally via his unoffical email address.

Kind regards

Adjutant to his

And you wouldn´t believe it, yes, the lads love their emperor:

Quote:

Your, Emperor of
Austria, Majesty by Gods Grace,

Sir, i am a commoner who came across your deputy in office. And i
decided to mail you sir. I feel so honored mailing you its like the
hands on a god shown an a commoner like me.

Sir your kindness to all spreads around the worldat full. My lordship
i would that you please assist me to have a way forward in life.
Please let your bowels of mercy shine on me i am from a distant land
and am in search of a little support to make my life worth living.

Your royal highness i have never had jism in all my life. Please help
me and let your blessed hands not depart from me a commoner

Thanks your lordship

Live forever oh! King.

A commoner

So this lad was offscript within the third mail. Nice pet Smile

Another lad then contacted the emperor on his personal email address and asked for the usual information. But he forgot to address me with my full name, so I issued a really minor slap to him. So I provided the requested information to him:

Quote:

Dear Commoner,

Thank you for your work so far. I am sure we will have a profitable business relationship which will bring both of us a lot of jism. Due to this being our first conversation, I will gratefully forgive you the fact that you didn´t address me with my full name, which also includes Karl Otto Maria.
Please find the required information below. Be aware of the fact, that I will not use a phone due to my high position.

My full name:

My other names and titles:

My Mailing address:

Vienna, Austria

Your emperor
His Majesty and Royal Highness, , emperor by Gods Grace

And as much of a good lad that he is, he of course then addressed me with my full titles in the next mail:

Quote:

Dear His Royal Highness bla bla bla....

Now of course I am about to be in contact with the banker, just the usual stuff. But I am afraid there might be some problems with a WU transfer. I mean, he cannot expect his royal highness to walk to a WU office, does he? And due to the confidelity of this business venture, noone else could go there.... Laughing

I am only at the beginning of this bait, but I think this could get to be a lot of fun. Lets see where this leads to. And of course you are very much invited to let your twisted minds come up with some stuff to give this bait some extra fun.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Wonderful, although I would have expected "Arschduke", after all the other great titles! Laughing

But you really have found a gem there! Let's all hope that he shall entertain you (and us) for further days without number.

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:20 am

Perhaps his royal majesty could send Duke penislad to WU or maybe have the Duke and diplomatic couriers transport the cash needed to the lad.

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:18 am

I'm loving this bait. Can't wait to read more. Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:47 am

Quote:

Please let your bowels of mercy shine on me

Well something like that Twisted Evil

Nice lads there BC Smile

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:14 pm

Quote:

"Arschduke"

loool...nice idea Laughing

(for the others, "arsch" is german for "ass")

Quote:

Perhaps his royal majesty could send Duke penislad to WU or maybe have the Duke and diplomatic couriers transport the cash needed to the lad.

Nice idea, but I am about to introduce another character to the bait. The servant of his majesty named . The so called "" (which means "before march") was the time between 1815 and 1848 in Austria, where there was a lot of spying on the people, censorship and repression from the emporer and his chancellor named Metternich, which led to the revolution in march 1848 against the emperor and the first constitution in Austria). That much about a little journey in austrian history. But this might help you understand the fun and the characters in this bait.

Today, I had a little chat with the lad om gmail (not on purpose, i forgot to logout from gmail and since the lad also uses gmail, he contacted me there via gmail chat).

Here ist the content of the chat:

Quote:

Douglas: hello are you there?

me: kind of...very busy here...

Douglas: am sending you an email now..please find time and send the document and your banking details to the bank please

me: will try to take care of it. Have many people here, and need to take care of business.

Douglas: ok..i understand you
check your mail i sent you an email already

me: just saw it, will take care of it later. Right now, there is a lady about to take care of my little emperor..

Douglas: ok.enjoy the rest of your daywith happiness

me: same to you

Douglas: and i pray good lrd will crown our efforts in this matter

me: i am sure it will work out great. After all I am taking care of it, and as a majesty by gods grace, things will always work out fine...

Douglas: ok..will you send the deposit and the bank details today?

me: we will see...I have a lot to do here..maybe I will ask one of my servants to do this... <--- this is where Vormaerz will be introduced to the bait. Of course I expected exactly the reaction from him, that he doesn´t want to have another person involved

Douglas: no please i urge you to do this your self..as you know usd$32million is not a childs play and we need to let this be confidential
confidentiality is the most important thing in this transaction until we have the money fullu transferred into your account

me: money? money??? didn´t Seyfenstein instruct you about the usage of this word???

Douglas: sorry jism i mean to say
dont mind me please u know a, not used to it..now i will yield to that

me: ok, i will fogive you this time. I am also a very forgiving emperor...

Douglas: thanks...
will you do it your self please?

me: I will see what I can do...there are other projects with way more money involved that also need my attention...you see, minor projects like yours must not distract me too much from my everyday business....
I just used the word "money" for you, so that it is easier for you to read....since you are not used to the word "jism" yet.. <-- i accidently used the word money myself, so I quickly hat to fix that lol

Douglas: ok..i can see that
i will let you knoe immediately the lawyer is back from the federal high court and federal board of inland revenue were she went to procure the res of the documents needed

me: very good, just keep me informed....i have trust in you, and i think you would be a good citizen, if you choose to come to Austria....maybe, I would even make you a noble man....

Douglas: to get my own share of the jism and i will be evry glad to meet with you your Majesty

me: exactly. Douglas, you will get to be a very rich man, I can tell you this. You will get to have your own castle and servants....
you will have more jism than you ever dreamt of...

Douglas: and i will be investing my own share there in you country and maybe you can introduce me to a profitable business i can invest my share into
Douglas: that all man would ever dream of

me: Of course, as the emperor, I have the best relations for business you can imagine...and I take good care of my business partners...
well...there are other things a man can also dream of...and I can tell you, that we have the best ladies here....they will also take good care of you....
me: it is common law here, that every noble man is allowed to have as many wives as he wants...

Douglas: and also i will need a beautiful woman to be my wife and mother of my children because i have lost my wife

me: i am very sorry to hear about your wife, but trust, when you see the beauties here, you will soon have forgotten her...

Douglas: lol
till them your majesty and i hope so

Douglas: i will be the happiest man on earth immediately we complete this transaction and coming down to Austria will be of a great history in my life time

me: i am sure things will work out fine...i have to go now, there are two beautiful ladies waiting in the whirlpool for me...some distraction from hard governing days, if you know what I mean....

Douglas: ok...but please make you sent the Deposit Certificate and your Bnking details to the Bank
so thhey can commence the process of transfering our fund

me: will try to....have to leave, the ladies are naked, willing and waiting....

Douglas: ok...take care and enjoy yourself

Ok, so what is the deal with? I am thinking of playing it this way: is aware of 419 scams, and tells this the lad. BUT he also hates the emperor and wants a revolution in Austria. (now you see the fun in the short history lesson above). So he should work out a plan with the lad to steal the money from the emperor and to get him off the throne. That far for my plans...lets see, if they work out.
Oh, I am having sooo much fun with this bait.....lets just hope, the lad doesn´t drop me, but he seems very well hooked for now Smile

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:30 pm

this is too funny. a given me lots of evil ideas.

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:53 pm

Ok, so guess what? He wants money eehh jism for documents....now this got me totally surprised Laughing

But I have to say, that he really is a good lad. He is nice and uses the word jism. He wants to have the money sent by Western Union MONEY transfer. Too bad, that this company is banned in Austria, because of its name (money, you know). So I offered him to have my loyal servant Vormaerz send the money via Jismgram instead, since we have that company here.

I can´t help, but I just find it funny how eager he is with the word jism:

Lad wrote:

Dear His Royal Highness
I received your mail and you dont have to be confused..We need the jism US$1400.00 to complete the balance to procure the last document affidavit of claims as i have explained to you in my mail earlier.My Lawyer made me to understand that the remaining document (Affidavit of claims) document will cost us US$3,750.00 and i have $2,350.00 with me right now, So i need you to send the Jism US$1400.00 so i can add it to the $2,350.00 so my Lawyer can go to the Federal High Court and procure the (SWORN COPY OF AN AFFIIDAVIT OF CLAIMS ) in your name .is the Lawyer's cahier so he will be the one to collect the jism from the jismgram.

Your majesty you can also send the jism via Jism gram if there is no western union jism transfer in austria over there..I want you to know that immediately this documents is submitted to the Bank they will transfer our Jism $32million into your account since we have complete their request of submitting the documents they require...I want you to send your loyal servant to go and send the jism US$1400.00 via jismgram ..We have jismgram here also but it is know as moneygram here (pardon me for that)

Below is the Lawyer cashier infomation to send the money needed to complete transaction Via JISMGRAM

Receiver 's Name :
Receiver's Address:Lagos Nigeria
Text Question:When?
Text Answer:Today
Amount:$1,400.00

Immediately the Jism is sent you will send me the Senders name and senders address with the Refrence number so the lawyer cahier can cash the jism her and she can proceed to the federal high court and procure the last document ASAP.

I wait to hear from you urgently.

So this is where I need your help. Can someone photoshop me a Moneygram ehh mean jismgram receipt? I still suck at that stuff Wink

Besides this, I am having fun with a second lad, who got off script. (the one with the moving bowels Laughing

)

I sent this to him (this might sound a LITTLE arrogant *g*):

Quote:

Hello Commoner,

I am very pleased by your humble attitude. It is good to see, when a man knows where his position in society is. So many people try to appear better than they actually are.
I have more respect for those people who live in the dirt and know that they belong there, than for those who pretend they are worth more than this.

Is there anything I can do for you? I am a rich man and from time to time I give away scholarships or simply donate money to needy people around the world if they prove to be worthy of the money.

Your emperor

And his humble reply (signed with his real name, I suppose).

Quote:

Sir, i praise God for extolling you on your throne this day

Your highness i must say a big thank you for taking time to read a mail from a commoner like me. May your days new cease to bring new things as each new day unfolds.

Sir I am far away in Africa in Ghana and i have been struggling to get on my feet and make a source of livelihood. Your highness what i need is jismi to establish a business. Sir as long as harvest and seed time exist i will never forget this gesture if you assist a commoner like me.

Your Humble servant

Mr

I am not exactly sure yet on what to do to eh mean with him, but I am sure his royal highness will be able to think of something there.

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:15 pm

Jismgram

I may be able to chop something for ya. I will need a blank Moneygram receipt and the font used for the letters... Can anyone find the receipt? All my bookmarks are on my down PC.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Does this help? Laughing

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1600/1047157/8994637/375398788.jpg

@ 419weasel - I"m sure you can do a better job. Here's the link for all the forms!

http://www.spyrkes.info/generators/

Hellish Taskmaster Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Posts: 537

This is great! I did a variation of it and here is what I got:

Quote:

Now we must get to know each other better before I can hand over these jism to you

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:22 am

@ScammedOut: Thanks a bunch. This is perfect. Just sent it to the lad. I thought, I should at least let him walk to the next Jismgram office to collect the jism, before I drop the bomb on him, that has chopped his dollar. Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:20 pm

ScammedOut wrote:

Does this help? Laughing

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1600/1047157/8994637/375398788.jpg

OOO! That's really good! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:41 pm

Well...something bad happened. The lad wasn´t able to get the money from Jismgram. I guess there was something wrong with it. Unreliable service that is.

Anyways, just dropped the bomb on the lad:

Quote:

Hello Douglas,

First of all, let me tell you: If you want to get jism, you have to
play by my rules.
So what do I have to tell you? I know that you are a 419 scammer. Ok,
this is the bad news for you.
The good news: I don´t care about you being a scammer.
Let me tell you why I don´t care about it: I am the head of the
Our intention is to get the
emperor off the throne and to make Austria a republic without a king
and without royals. The emperor doesn´t know about me being the head
of ASS of course. He believes I am his loyal servant.
So where do you come into this whole thing? ASS needs jism, and the
man with the most jism in Austria is the emperor. But we cannot just
take the jism from him. We need someone like you, whom the emperor
thinks he sends the jism to. This is why I make you an offer: You can
continue to scam jism out of him and get 30% of the jism he sends. The
rest is for us. And of course you won´t tell him a word about this
conversation. If you decide to tell him about me being a member of
ASS, you will lose him, since he will then be made aware of this 419
scam thing by me.
The 1400$ his majesty sent have been kept by ASS for now.

Get back to me and tell me your decision, which is rather easy
anyways: Work with us and get rich (and his majesty is just as rich,
as he is dumb enough to fall for your scam) or try to tell his majesty
about ASS and don´t get any jism. Oh, and don´t think about warning
his majesty about us. I have access to his mailbox and will delete
every warning you send right away and block you from any further
conversation with him.

I am waiting for a reply from you,

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:19 am

Lad ---->

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:24 am

This is WICKED keep it going funniest of Modalities! Laughing

Do think you need a depravity aid, who escourts your playmates up the secret passage to your private chambers, or to your playroom of correction. Twisted Evil

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I'm scared of those (ASS) people, they sound really dangerous and a back stabbing lot...

Trying to shove that man off his throne, honestly, and by his own loyal servant. Whats next??????

Great bait! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 5:09 pm

A short update on the bait. Well, things did NOT work out just like I intended.
This little piece of shit actually DID forward the mail to his majesty. Of course I slapped him and told him, that he is now blocked from his majesties account. He just didn´t want to admit, that he is a scammer and kept telling his transaction story. And he wants to share 50/50 not 70/30. I had a hard time to convince him, that I am who I claim to be.
I will give him a short call afterwards to be a little more convincing. He is a very suspiscious lad right now. ( he just keeps complaining about the 1400$)

But I figured, even if he doesn´t want to work with me right now, I can still play it in the way, that his majesty later finds out that is an ASS and then confronts the lad with it. Will have to give that some time though.

In the meanwhile, the other lad is very eager to become a citizen of Austria and to undergo the rituals that are part of it. It might have something to do with the promise, that every citizen of austria receives 4000$ per month...but I am not sure Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

ASS needs jism, and the
man with the most jism in Austria is the emperor

The lad must be pretty dumb if he can't grasp a simple concept like that. Rolling Eyes

@419weasel - Thanks! It was fun. Laughing

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