4th anniversary safari

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Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:15 am

Tosser 0guguo's passed the four-year bait mark, so, as promised, he's off to Mali. I've been checking his travel arrangements:

Quote:

His majesty,
I will go by bus.We have buses to goes to Mali Bamako from here in Ouagadougou every wednesdays and sundays.
Remain blessed
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU

I guess the best day for him to collect his money would be a Saturday, in that case. He needs time to get the 'flavour' of Bamako. It's a great city to spend a few nights in. I expect. Wink

Sadly, it's only about 300 miles, but these are 300 West African miles, by West African bus. So it's a reasonably good way to celebrate.

After so many good trophy pics, he's decided now is a good time to send a fake, or a badly chopped one. Wrong. Actually, it is him in the pic, and it looks like he took it correctly. Then he messed it up afterwards. WTF?

I just have to get him to do that again, too. Sad

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:48 am

Congrats, Your Majesty Very Happy

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:58 am

That's truly amazing PDS, Legendary stuff clapping

He must be the winner of the thick as a brick award!
TOSSER????? Presumably something to do with you?

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:04 pm

Congrats!

How did you get him to start calling himself Tosser? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:19 pm

Jeff wrote:

That's truly amazing PDS, Legendary stuff clapping

He must be the winner of the thick as a brick award!
TOSSER????? Presumably something to do with you?

This really old thread here

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=66560&start=0

Explains it.

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

Truly an accomplishment. Bravo bow_down

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:45 pm

First things first, he's retaking the pic. He used to complain bitterly, but this close to his payday, a lad always gets more compliant...

Quote:

Tosser,

Had the picture you sent been usable for your ID, you could possibly have been on your way tomorrow. What happened to the picture? Sister ******* sent it to me for my opinion, and I don't need to forward it to our publishing department to know it's not usable. What is the scrawled lettering on the picture? What are those white spots?

You'll need to do it again. I'm so tired of these mistakes over and over, Tosser 0guguo. This will be the last time I step in to help you.

Remain shagged

.

Quote:

His majesty
I received your mail.I will go ahead and retake the picture as soon as possible and send it to sister *******.
Thank you immensely for all your help to me His Majestyu.
Thanks
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:31 pm

Sweet!

You really know how to keep a lad. Wink

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:19 pm

Bloody hell, he corrected it already. That's better. Mali ho. Might be a form or two before he leaves, though. It's a missionary medical camp 'a few' miles outside Bamako. I haven't decided just where, yet, so some forms to keep him happy while he's on a roll will allow me a bit of time with Google Earth.

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:26 pm

congrats PDS Very Happy

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:51 pm

Quote:

His majesty,

I have retaken,scanned the passport photographs and sent to sister Rafui.
I hope this time it will be accepted while i thank you immensely for
bearing with me in tyhis while.

Waiting to hear further from you.
Thanks.

TOSSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU.

Quote:

Tosser 0guguo,

Who is Sister Rafui? That's a man's name as far as I know, did you mean ? I hope you sent the picture to the correct email address for Tafui.

I, too, hope it will be accepted. Did you take extra care this time, to make sure everything was clear and well scanned? I am at the end of my tether with this whole business. It has been a particularly stressful experience for me, and yet there was never any reason for things to be as difficult as they have proven to be. Your constant mistakes have allowed this matter to drag on and on all this time. God knows I should have abandoned the whole transaction a long time ago.

Let us pray that after your efforts this time you will be barfed upon, twatted, and shagged by hodcarriers, now and always.

Remain poncified,

.

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 7:45 pm

^^^^

Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:33 pm

Quote:

Let us pray that after your efforts this time you will be barfed upon, twatted, and shagged by hodcarriers, now and always.

Have you got one hand on his nuts?????
I read the thread!!!! Warped Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:57 am

^^ That's the level I operate at, Jeff. You should know that by now Wink

I've prepared his ID, he's just completing the declaration. I'd love to be able to get him to present this to someone who'd understand it, but an innocent third party would be involved of course. Never mind, he can stroll around Bamako for three nights, proudly showing it off to anyone who'll listen.

(Not actual size)

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:25 am

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

Sadly, it's only about 300 miles, but these are 300 West African miles, by West African bus.

You really need to multiply this by a crap-factor of 3. That's 300 very cramped and uncomfortable miles. Now if you calculate this mathematically,

If A = 4 (years) x by B = 300 miles x by West African bus crap-factor C = 3, the answer is: fruckin hell

Maybe Tosser could provide a list and an equation to tally up his level of disappointment. We really need a sliding scale for this type of karmic butchery.

Great stuff PDS. Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:31 am

Eloquent as always NN. He'll be smiling all the way there, but he'll be a bit irritable on the way back, I'll wager.

[edit] He'll need to do this again. His height was supposed to be entered in feet and inches. He hasn't entered his name, and he's supposed to write the answers to the questions, not simply scrub out those that don't apply. I could wait until he gets to Mali, then have someone in administration spot the mistakes, and call him back to Ouaga. Tosser 0gugu0's one of those lads who seem to give you dozens of directions to go in.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

He is 8 metres tall? Quite a guy! Laughing

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:47 am

^^ That's how I read it, too. Smile

Last night:

Quote:

Tosser, the document is incomplete or incorrectly completed, and is in a pretty bad nervous state. You've upset him quite seriously this time. I'd stay away from him for a few days.

Your glaring mistakes are:

You have not written your name in the declaration, next to "I (Name)"

You have not written your answers to the questions, instead, you have run a line through the example answers that do not apply. You MUST write the answers. This is the way our computers work. If you don't complete the document correctly, it will not be recognised by the computer system, and cannot be validated.

I have attached the part of the document where all of your mistakes are.

Remain shagged

.

This morning, once I was sure he'd read that mail, and corrected those mistakes:

Quote:

Tosser, I forgot to mention:

The other mistake you made is that the height is supposed to be expressed in FEET and INCHES. It specifies this clearly on the form.

Sister Tafui.

I doubt he has any idea what 1.8 metres is in feet and inches. Anyway, once that's sorted, I'll tell him his errors cost us more delays. It'd been arranged for him to be there this Wednesday. Now, we'll have to take whatever's offered. If he whines about the bus arriving three days before his appointment, whose fault is it?