"Tales from a DH" Language/ongoing/safari now on

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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:47 am

I remember RL, VAGUELY. I'll set up a webng account asap, and post them there so I can link to them here.

Enjoy your weekend

Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:49 am

The fake Newspaper article about the "funeral". He never noticed Sabrina's surname is this different to her email account btw

My favourite trophy so far (The door to the Studio named after "us". Ahhh, to be in love)

Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 5:52 am

Well, HERE'S something I wasn't expecting: The Rumemeister has written. I ditch the smartraveller warnings for now, but they'll come back later to haunt him, when she decides to go visit him, I'm hoping for a safari. Enter Kathrin in sick mode:

----- Forwarded Message ----
Sent: Sunday, 9 August, 2009 3:45:26 PM
Subject: Re: hello Kathrin

Dear Rum1,

I do know Sabrina told I had cancer you obviously chose not to listen to her, which upsets me deeply. I hide nothing form my dear dear niece

I have begun chemotherapy, my hair has mostly fallen out adn on top of that I am weak all the time. Sabrina has moved into a house near the Peter MacCallum Institute here in Melbourne to help me do even the most basic things, as things that I have taken for granted are now an immense struggle for me to undertake. I spend large portions of my day vomitting and I feel and look so disgusting. I know that I am not alone in this struggle but I never though it would be this hard.

Sabrina is paying for several Cancer specialists to help me beat this disease, but it is a pain I was never expecting. Oh dear I must go, I have to throw up again.

Yours in Poppers,

Kathrin

His note below, This bait may not be over yet Twisted Evil

Sent: Thursday, 6 August, 2009 1:42:07 AM
Subject: hello Kathrin

Good day to you Kathrin,

I hope this letter meets you in a perfect state of health. i am so sorry that you havent read from me all this while, it was due to some issues i have to attend to, and its concerning the studio.

you never told me you had cancer, so i would'nt know except now that you have just said it to me. am sorry to hear this but, i know that your own case will be different.

About Sabrina, i know all she's trying to do is to protect you, so i am not angry at all with the words she wrote to me in her email. i understand her pain and also i realise that she does not want to see you get hurt. so i understand all she wrote to me.

My Queen, i dont know where you readf it from or who has currupt your mind about my country,all you wrote, and said about my country is not true. in Africa today, and in the world in general we are the most peacefull country and also the richest in terms of mineral resources. i cant generally say that Nigeria is the best in the world, as every country has its own weakness. but dont get it wrong my dear Nigeria is a home away from home. how i wish you have visited once before to really understand what i am saying nothing of such that you mentioned is true.

Lastly, i dont know how to proof to you that i am not like every other man that comes into your life to seek material things, rather i am with true intentions to making you my woman till death do us part. i am who i am today because of your inspiring words to me and so i will never think of playing games with your heart. i hope to read from you again soon .

Love always Rum1.

Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:30 am

after a MONTH, I thought this bait was well and truly over. Then out of the blue, The Rummeister is back:
My Beloved,

i hope this meets you well. How are you? and also how is your health? please forgive my innability to communicate with you all this while. i have really missed reading from you. what i want you to understand is that, in the life of every human there comes a time he faces challenges, but God our creator and the giver of life will be by your side to help you over come this condition.
i missed reading from you. please take good care of your self and extend my greetings to Sabrina. Kisses

I ignore it

Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:33 am

And just now I get this. I decide that since I was piling it on each time I wrote to him, I should at least have another go. I suspect that the cash plea is just around the corner, he never got around to it originally:

Sent: Wednesday, 9 September, 2009 4:38:32 PM
Subject: please keep intouch.

My lady, good morning to you. how are you? and how is your health? hope you are getting better? i sent you an email and i was so hoping that you will write back.
i have been worried and disorganized that i dont even have time for my self anymore. All day i miss your words to me. i no longer read those inspiring messages from you. I know your condition, but you will be so pleased and delighted if you write me at least one email. am facing hard time now, and things are no longer the way it used to be for me. please keep intouch as i hope to read from you soon. Best regards.

Rumi.

Not wanting to be mean (yet) Sabrina writes back:

Sent: Wednesday, 9 September, 2009 5:19:20 PM
Subject: Re: please keep intouch.

Rumi,

Sabrina here. Kathrin's health comes and goes and right now isn't well. the cancer has spread too far and it's only a matter of time before she passes on. we're not sure how long she's got but it's probably months rather than years.

I try to keep her up to date on emails from here, since she's not strong enough to check them herself. I'll let her know you wrote.

Sabrina

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

There MAY be life in this bait yet!

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:45 am

Just to test the waters, I write back to the rumemmeister:

Rumi,

Kathrin's still too sick to write, as the laptop's wireless connection interferes with the medical equipment at the Peter MacCallum Institute. She perked up a,lot when she heard you'd written and I given her a printout of the email.

If she wants to write back I'll let you know

Sabrina

Let's see if he's still interested in the old boiler

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:04 am

Seems he is (And also in invisible mode:)

Hello Sabrina, thank you for writing me to let me know situation of things. how are you? i hope your aunts condition is not affecting you so much. i know how you will feel, that the one person you love so much is lying helplessly with cancer.

Jus keep praying because there is nothing that God cannot do. i do wish Kathrine well and my greatest wish on earth will be to see her get her life back. once again thank you Sabrina for writing me. take care of your self and bye.

Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 3:56 am

Well, I think the plea for cash is about to come flying at me FINALLY! Only problem, his original target is nowhere to be seen and his new target is NOTORIOUSLY volatile. he sends this:

----- Forwarded Message ----
Sent: Saturday, 12 September, 2009 12:28:16 PM
Subject: Re: please keep intouch.

Hello Sabrina, i appreciate that you let Kathrin know i wrote. How is she? i hope everything is ok. And you, how are you? thank you for being there for your aunt. may God reward you as you take your time to look after her to make sure she gets better.

Well Sabrina, i wont want you to tell kathrin this is she's not feling too well. i want want her to worry about me in her present condition.

But i shall tell you because now i see my self more like a family. i was evicted from my mini studio by my landlord who for some selfish reasons wants it back. Because i dont have enough money to rent another studio apartment, i've moved most of my equipments to the house but, am afraid that soon all those equipment i tried so hard to buy will begin to get spoiled and outdated. now i feel like a failure all that i've labourd for is coming to an end just in a flash am so confused and i dont know what to do or where to get money for the studio.

All day now all i do is stay in door or atimes i play the piono to remenise on my problems. am so downcasted and i dont know who can help me out of this situation.

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

So I send him this, including a link to the infamous KLF manual, which I loved reading again after all this time:

Rume,

your secret's safe with me! Now tell me, did you sign a lease when you took this place up? 'Cos even I know that if you did and your landlord broke it, SURELY you can sue his sorry arse! Especially in a business agreement...

Lots of people start their business from home mate, others end up there including musicians. the band "Wall of voodoo" started off doing what you're doing and instead became a successful rock band.

And since you play the piano and HAVE all this equipment & contacts, why not use them to record a single? Aunt Kathrin said that Paulina Odura woman was pretty good at the time, why not see if you can use her services again, for a fee to be paid later or even a small percentage of the recording.

And read this from end to end. It's the KLF Manual: KLF - The Manual - How To Have A Number One The Easy Way http://www.kirps.com/web/main/resources/music/themanual/ . Priscilla put me onto this and it's working for her, or at least as well as it can in this country. But there's stuff you can use for sure...

It worked for the KLF for a number of years! A few other bands tried this with varying degress of success.

I won't mention this to Kathrin and chin up, lots of producers go through things like this. You're young, and you have lots of toys. Now just DO something with them

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:59 am

So, it now seems this bait is anything BUT completed. Maybe I should have a mod move it back to the Romance forums... So, this guy's now pretty damn obvious and certainly not the feisty piece of shit he was a few months back! The Rumemeister sends this:

Sent: Sunday, 13 September, 2009 7:59:21 AM
Subject: Re: please keep intouch.

Hello,
Thank you for writing me, i am really so happy that you could write me soon enough. in Nigeria, Africa laws do not judge the proper case, its he who have money to bribe their way out that the court will decide in their favour. What he did was deduct the amount of months that i spent there and he had my balance refunded to me. but what could i do with such little amount. I have deposited the little money refunded to me in the bank with hopes that soon i will try to save up and aquire a place of my choice.

In one of Kathrin's email to me, she wrote that you are a realistic and reasonable person, always wanting to help people like me that have little or no assistance. am not asking for much and i do not intend to bother you or Kathrin with my problems. any assistance from you will be so appreciated by me. for every thing that you do for me,God will surely reward you in heaven. i dont really know what to write anymore, but, i seek your assistance. thank you. please extend my regards to Kathrin and tell her that i wish her a quick recovery.

thanks and take care.
Rumi.

And I respond with this:

----- Forwarded Message ----
Sent: Sunday, 13 September, 2009 1:47:23 PM
Subject: Re: please keep intouch.

Okies Rume,

Lemme know how I can help and I'll see what I can do!

sabrina

Let's see if he FINALLY asks for cash... If he does, my tech savvy niece will unfortunately not be able to use the "what's a western onion" that ditzy Aunt Kathrin could. She can however, introduce a few extra forms for him to fill out! Stay tuned, same bat time same bat channel! Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:45 am

Quote:

i've moved most of my equipments to the house

what sort of place are we talking about? One of the ghetto places each 'room' occupied by single or family!

Quote:

all i do is stay in door or atimes i play the piono

is this piano or keyboard?

Lazy git should be out finding WORK.

Quote:

to remenise on my problems

something tells me his problems have just started

Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 11:55 pm

@ Devil woman

TOO RIGHT they're just beginning. Wink

he sends this finally:

Sent: Monday, 14 September, 2009 9:15:35 AM
Subject: Re: please keep intouch.

Hello,
it fills my heart with joy to know that you feel concerned about my life. without bitting about the bush. i will like you to give me some money, or lend it to me. i will pay back as soon as i have it. i have found another studio apartment that is so beautiful and spacious its just the money that i dont have that is delaying me now, and i feel so worried because i know that many other interested renters will want to rent it for them selfs. The rent amount for the studio apartment for 2 years is 3,400$ but i have only managed to gather 1600$ so what i need now is 1800. i promise to pay back if you ask me. i have to secure this studio apartment with your help. I hope to read from you again. My regards to Kathrin, and please make sure you always extend my greetings to her. thank you very much.

Rumi.

I reply with this:

seems reasonable. How should I get it to you?

sabrina
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

Once he say the magic words (WU), he'll find out that due to the Bali Bombings, he's going to have to prove he's not a terrorist by filling out the P.R.A.T forms Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:51 pm

Of course, good ol' WU. I'll leave it a few hours before I give him the bad news about the new Anti terror laws...

Hello,
I read your email today am so much delighted with your concern, you can get it to me through Western Union Money Transfer these are my information

The rumemeister

when you have this done, you should send me the MTCN number including the text question and answer. i will be very greatful for your assistace. Thank you. Please extend my regards to Kathrin always.

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:57 am

It's been a few hours, and "I've just gotten back from WU". I send him an email with "Houston we have a problem" in the Subject header:

Yo, Rume!

Slight problem at this end mate...

I goes down to western Union at the office nearest the Peter MacCallum Institute (there's a whole STACK in Chinatown here in the city btw) to send you the 1800 bucks and they won't let me just do it. Apparently in 2004, an islamic terrorist group called Jemaah islamiyah tried to get money sent to them from JI members here in Melbourne via western Union. I did some research when I got back home and it was reported on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's Media watch at the time, so I guess it must be true. (Actually the whole point of the media watch article was to point out that it was complete NONSENSE, but I digress)

So anyhoo, it turns out that Australia now has a form you have to fill out to prove you're not a terrorist associated with Jemaah Islamiyah. I TRIED to point out you were from Nigeria and not Indonesia, but the Western Union people weren't having any of that. They said that since Jemaah Islamiyah was connected to the Al Qaeda network, their operatives could be from anywhere in the world, and as a country that had experienced terrorism in the form of the 2002 Bali Bombing where 88 Australians perished, we had to be vigilant against the threat of terrorism in all of it's forms.

They gave me a collection of forms on both paper and USB stick and said to send them on to the guy wanting the dosh, so I'm doing that.

So here they are, fill 'em out and get 'em back to me. And as soon as you do that I can send on the cash and your receipt with the MTCN number on it. Sound good? (I hope not) Twisted Evil

Sabrina

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

I send six of the seven P.R.A.T forms. Of course they won't be good enough and he'll need to use the seventh page

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:09 am

I've been DYING to use the tools in the help and tips section, and now that he's officially asked for the WU, it's game on, MOLES!

SO much fun, and here's me thinking this bait was DEAD!

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:07 am

So the Rumemeister writes back with the Subject header "i cant fillout those forms you sent. the mouse wont click on it." DICK!

Hello, how are you?

Thank you for your email to me, i read and understood all that you wrote about in your email to me.

i got the forms which you said, i am to fill and submit, but i could not enter a writing on it, moreso, i can provide you with any of my information that you need to proove that am not a terrorist or anything of such.
Better still you can help look for means of sending money, or you can send me money orders. All you have to do is, to go to any reliable bank and talk to somebody there am sure they will tell you better. i only have a few days left to pay up for the apartment and am really getting worried. please do something. always extend my greetings to Kathrin. tell her i really miss reading from her, and i hope she gets better soon.

Rumi

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:10 am

sabrina, being the notoriously volatile cow she is, isn't happy and gives him a bit of slappage (Language warning):

Rumi, Rume, Rumemeister.

You're supposed to PRINT THEM OUT, fill them out (honestly btw) and send them back. They are NOT online forms. And you ASKED for Western Union. If I went elsewhere I'm pretty fucking certain I'd get the same response!

So don't be a PUSSY! If you want the cash, fill out the forms, have them scanned and send them back ASAP. It's not ME that's asking for money to be sent half way around the world.

Sabrina

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

I LOVE how he so believes in the character that Sabrina can now write from Kathrin's account and he doesn't bat an eyelid. Here's hoping he's good to his word Very Happy

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:17 am

Well I'll be damned, he actually seems KEEN to fill out the forms. He's asked to have them resent TWICE. I oblige:

First this:
ok,
My mistake wow so funny my senses never thought that can you please resend it to me so i can make the print out today at a nearby cyber cafe, the ones you send the other time could no longer open. please resend am waiting. thanks

then this
so sorry i dont know what happend, the form file could not open for print out so am thinking maybe i have made some mistakes already while trying to fill it online. could you please send it again? thanks.

Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:45 am

Seems the lad is keen

Hello, Thank you for recending the forms to me again. i shall go to the internet cafe tomorrow and have it print out as you suggested, i shall also fill these forms honestly as you have said, have it scanned and send it back to you as soon as possible. if i may ask, how long will it take to have the money sent to me? thank you for everything.

Rumi.

[b]It's like someone else has taken over his account. He's nice and polite now, and NOT the fiesty piece of shit of old. I preferred it when he was an asshole to be honest, I almost feel sorry for him now. NOT that it'll stop me from keeping this going or anything... Twisted Evil

Hellish Taskmaster Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Posts: 537

This is great! I laughed so hard when I heard that Helena had a cranial-rectal inversion due to a bad Madagascar.

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:32 am

and he's FILLED OUT the P.R.A.T forms!!! I will post them a little later, oh and of course he hasn't filled it out properly! There'S AT LEAST one part he didn't fill out at all, and I haven't read them properly yet.

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:46 am

Of course, the forms were answered incorrectly... He didn't answer "the most important question" at ALL. So I send it back to him with a note that a NEW security photo must be taken (and attach the seventh page), with him holding up a printout of the seventh page.

This will be interesting. Old Rumi was quite cagey about sending photos, New Rumi seems to a dominatrix's wet dream:

Rume,

I goes to Western Union in the city here with the paperwork you sent me and they said it isn't filled out properly. They said that one of the most important questions wasn't answered AT ALL! So I'm sending you the page they're talking about so you can complete it.

The other thing is, since you failed to answer the forms correctly, they need you to provide a better security photo, so they know you are who you say you are. I've attached this thing they called the security validation form. just to make this clear. You print it out, hold it in front of you and get a picture taken and sent back to me. That and the form corrected, will get me permission to send the cashola.

I haven't mentioned this to Kathrin btw, but she's very pleased that we finally seem to be getting along.

So get this to me ASAP, and I'll try get it done before they close. I'd hate to have to make us both go through this again...

Sabrina

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

Sent: Sunday, 20 September, 2009 5:31:04 PM
Subject: Re: Hello.

Hello,
I received your email and am happy to know that tommorrow with your help i shall be happy again. i appreciate all that you have done, and those that you are yet to do, you are a life saver. Thank you. My regards to Kathrin.

Rumi.

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:50 am

As I've said before, this guy doesn't seem like the same guy I started baiting a few months back. However, he makes a mistake today, that I went with for now, and will throw back in his face at a later date. First of all he sends this:

Good day to you Sabrina, how are you taday? guess u are enjoying yourself, how is Kathin's health? hope all is getting better with her. Yesterday i went to purchase a new set of microphones so i really dint have much time to refill that form and send it back. but hopefully today i will do so. have a wonderful day.

Rumi.

He doesn't have the money for rent, but he DOES have the money for Microphones! Bearing in mind that I play music myself and have rough idea of what a DECENT mic would actually cost, I am now no longer concerned for the man, GAME ON, MOLES!!! But for now, I just send this

Okies,

Priscilla asked what sort of Microphones you got? hopefully something that sounds nice and warm when sung into. I don't do music myself, but Priscilla has her own studio setup now. She's very happy with it.

Kathrin's health comes and goes. Especially after spending time in the MRI machine which drains her health significantly. I've attached a pic for you to see. It breaks my heart to see her like this

Sabrina

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Kathrin

And send him a pic of this

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:52 am

I definitely think it's not the same guy I started out with. This seems like an obvious mistake, something old rumemmeister wouldn't make. Fortunately new rumemeister seems MUCH more compliant Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 03 Sep 2009 Posts: 1

I am a newbie here, just kinda looking around, but I about died reading this. It is great. Keep it up, I am anxious to see what happens next.

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:21 am

Welcome wendysue,

Yeah He's good value I'll give him that. I'd better shrink the P.R.A.T forms so you guys can see them. They're very pretty, especially the form with the shark that looks nothing like a shark and more like a giant Cod

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