Barack Scammed! 'I was caught with bad boys!'

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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:24 am

Thanks to one of Nurse Nasty’s awesome premium member baiting sites, I have been church baiting this lad for a couple months now. Today the good barrister embarked on his safari. He’s a Benin lad who believes he is scamming Barack Obama out of 625,000 dollars Shocked

Since Barack was concerned about how the American public would view their leader accepting a 12.5 million dollar inheritance from a dubious relative named J1mmy Eliot M00re, it was decided that the fees would be paid by laundering the funds through a church. Barack would donate to the church, the church will make the lad a member of the church and pay him the fee for the inheritance under the guise of a ‘ministerial grant’.

To join the church, laddie did have to fill an application (here are the better bits).....

....and also he had to provide pictures in his sacred Adam and Eve underwear - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1423359#1423359">CLICK</a>

Now that laddie has joined the church all he has to do is pick up his money. Unfortunately for him, Maiduguri is the nearest bank where there is also a church representative who can sign the funds out for him. It’s only coincidental that there’s been quite a bit of civil unrest in that area recently. Wink

I only wish he would travel by dirty dusty bus, but apparently he has means enough to fly.

This was yesterday. He was in Benin:

Quote:

Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-1279736097-1252933761=:44966"
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I heard that there are some crisis in borno state over there.I hope it's not going to effect my journey.How was the situation over there with regards to the pandemonium. I will like to know while I work on my trip as arranged.
Possibly by tomorrow evening,I will inform you of my time of arrival.But as you don't have number to get you as I arrive,may be you inform me on how to know you.I believe you are aware that I will be coming from lagos.So till tomorrow then. Thanks
Bro M4rtins.

Of course I called him and told him there was absolutely no danger. I mean it’s been a month since 700 people were murdered there by Islamist extremists. It’s gotta be safe now, right? Wink

Today he is in Lagos. He’ll be flying up to Madiguri tomorrow morning.

Quote:

Received: from [82.128.69.24]<--Lagos Nigeria by web111807.mail.gq1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Tue, 15 Sep 2009 10:13:35 PDT
X-Mailer: YahooMailClassic/7.0.14 YahooMailWebService/0.7.347.2
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Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-1813499149-1253034815=:92120"
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X-Aol-Sid: 3039400c8bcb4ab003fd1e9f

I am in lagos now due to make it by tomorrow as arranged.I will be comimg with IRS
airline and the time of our departure is 11.15am and arrival is 3.30pm as assured to me.
I have this local number through which you can easily get to me in case of oral discussion
while from now till we leave for.The number is xxxxx(Nigeria number). Hope to hear from you any
moments from now.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Bro.M4rtins.

The good lad also gave the president his update:

Quote:

Mr President,
I know you may have been informed of the present situation of our business.As I
reside in Benin close to Nigeria,I took this decision of receiving the fund through Nigeria
as I know some staffs in one of the banks closeby.But the church father who is incharge
made me to understand that I should receive it from borno state in Nigeria.Arrangements
has been made on that and I promise to inform you as soon as we are through on that. I
planned to have it there so that I can easily transfer it myself into the country without an
eye on it for the execution of our business.I believe you understand what I mean at this
point.So I believe very soon our efforts will bring smiles on our faces.
Thanks and I know you must be coping well with your position.I remain your Man.
H0n Martins

Here’s where the dear barrister is, and where he’s going:

I’m not particularly clever on keeping a lad on safari for very long, so any suggestions or comments to extend his vacation in Maiduguri are welcome. Wink

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:44 am

I have to say that I LOVE the pic of the map! I wish I was that inventive Embarassed

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:20 am

Lad wrote:

So I believe very soon our efforts will bring smiles on our faces.

Nope, but they sure have brought smiles onto a lot of other people's faces.

Jolly good! A whopping 750 miles... and just a few short steps from Chad. beers!

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:40 am

You ought to see the smile on mine Very Happy

great stuff, Mr. President!

I also like the initial idea - lad must join a church so nobody suspects your very prominent character doing any money-laundering.

I´ll be back home about 3 hours after his arrival, looking forward to his non-smiling mood then! Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:23 am

Quote:

he has means enough to fly

Hopefully he won't have the means to fly home, if he was relying on the Church funds. Smile

If he gets there you can keep him a while if dick him around with promises and excuses - the Church representatve was knocked down by a trotro and is in the hospital, or got arrested - send your lad to the Police station desk to plead for him...

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:48 am

@Roy: Yes, the church promised him a ride back in the supply plane. The supply plane is scheduled to be in Maiduduri on the 17th so that was his incentive to get there. In RL I am on vacation and wanted him traveling when I have a lot of time to manipulate him. Twisted Evil

This lad is so trusting that I've only called him once for like a 2 minute conversation. Everything has been email.

Anyway, laddie mailed overnight in answer to my 'how will I know you at the airport' question:

Quote:

Dear Sister Butler,
O yes I am on white native material.I am coming alone not with anybody as
I have explained to Father Fl4ir earlier on.I believe its going to be a nice visit as We are
moving with God.Bye till we see face to face.
Br0 Martins.

I guess he's on his way now. jump_4_joy

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:03 pm

NickTheCop wrote:

Jolly good! A whopping 750 miles... and just a few short steps from Chad.

My thoughts exactly.

If you've ever loaded Google Earth and looked at Nigeria as much as I have, you'll see that the area to the north is a wasteland. Since he has the means to get there from Benin, he can probably get to Chad. All sorts of bad things can happen. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:05 pm

^you mean he aint wearing his Adam & Eve underwear Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:10 pm

And I hope the Church Welcome Committee is not kind of...being late, or something. Or elsewhere. Or inexistant. Or maybe they will just have gone past him on the other gateway. Or did he mean "September 17th" ooo ?

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:18 pm

If he goes to Chad, he needs to know about always running left.....

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:25 pm

I see his flight takes him over the Yankari Simba Safari Camp, there should be several lads there who can give him a wave as he goes over.
As for Chad, N'djamena is a good place to go, ask for Andrew and Charles on arrival. THey love the place, been there for over a year thanks to jojobean and co.

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:57 pm

There's still no word from the lad. I tried calling and his phone is turned off or busy. The suspense is killing me, though. I hope I didn't lose him!

There are no online records of arrivals for that airline he used (as far as I can tell) so I don't even know if the plane made it. I'm hoping he at least had to share a seat with a goat and a couple chickens on the way over.

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:23 pm

Sorry for the double post, but laddie apparently missed his flight and had to take a later one. Being so worried about him Rolling Eyes

, I've been trying to call for hours. Just now I got thru to find him stredded at the airport in Maiduguri. Below is my convo with him. Nothing special or funny about it except the 'oh shit' he said when he realized he wasn't getting picked up. Hopefully a mail confirming his journey will follow.

DivShare File - brother martins stredded at the airport.MP3

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:39 pm

He is interestingly calm...and you are, too Surprised

this astounds me most of all. You two sound like a customer care caller who says "the DVD I have bought today is not working", and you sound like somebody saying "well isn´t there something else you can do?" Very Happy

I find this calmness so funny. This lad is satisfied with waiting for someone you send there and you say "let me see what I can do", then he says "Please try try try.", which is how far he emotionally gets now Smile

I wonder if he can really SHOUT!
Oh please keep him out there Thumbs up

he must be able to say the magic word (s-t-r-e-d-d-e-d) Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:24 pm

Just Jane wrote:

DivShare File - brother martins stredded at the airport.MP3

Wow, did he sound dissapointed. Laughing

You can just about hear that lump in his throat. Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:06 pm

YOU GO GIRL! clapping

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:59 pm

Hold a sec... do I have this right... the lad thinks you're the president and you have a very female voice??? He does realize Hillary did not win the presidency right? Laughing

Nice job on the lad. I like the others suggestion about getting him to Chad, it's a lovely place as other lads have discovered. Or maybe as the president you had official business come up and are meeting a diplomat at a certain safari camp and offer to have him stay with you and even meet the diplomat?

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:56 am

OD: No, Obama is laundering the money thru a church. Sister Butler on the phone is the woman who runs the church mission in Maiduguri. She is taking laddie to the bank to sign over the $625,000 VAT tax payment.

For clarification, here's how the president explained it to the laddie Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I just spoke with F0nda. I think we have it all worked out how we can filter the VAT tax through the church to you. Don't worry, the church has been vetted pretty thoroughly to ensure that they will do what is requested of them. Regardless, it is in their best interest to cooperate as they stand to get a percentage of the 12.5 million dollars. The are a very well-funded church, by the way. Apparently they have some very wealthy benefactors as they give away money very freely. Just like our US Congress these days.

Reverend Fl4ir (the head of the church) and F0nda are taking this project on at the church. Here's how it will work: I will donate $625,000 to the church. The church accept you as a member of their church. Since you will be a member, they will then provide you a ministerial stipend of $625,000. Thus the VAT tax is paid to you and it's all on the down low.

We will have a win-win situation here: To the world they will see a leader donating money to a deserving ministry. You will get the VAT tax paid to you through a third party so my involvement in it will go unnoticed. The church will benefit by getting a portion of the 12.5 million dollars, take its cut and deposit the difference to my presidential account. The world will look that as support from the church to my administration. Since the church is so well-endowed no one will raise an eyebrow to the large amount of funds coming to my account.

What do you say we get this plan rolling?

Regards,

President Obama

There has been many funny moments in the conversations between the lad and the president. This is one of his replies about the plan:

Quote:

Mr President,

I got your mail this evening asking if I am still with you?Of course,I am still with you.
I told you that I was very glad handling this business with a world class Man like you.Hopefully
I know it will make us close pal when we might have successfully executed it.
You demanded that I should act very well to make the church people see it legitimate.You
know definetely that I will do that so that all will work out successfully as we have discussed
earlier.You also said that your friend will be taking on from now with the church's address.
Alright as long as she will not misunderstand me on the remaining process.But make sure you
always ask her whatever we are going through so as to be aware of future situations of things
coming up.I will be expecting to hear from her as you have explained.
I don't have any other suggestions for now in receiving the cash from you because I believe
this your idea from day one will be best for us with respect to your position.I want to know,have
you made the donation already to the church as you promised?Thanks for your understanding,
Asap.
H0n M4rtins.

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:52 am

Did I read this correctly? This guy actually thinks the Pres. of the US would do a scammy deal with an unknown? Shocked

Do these people really think the whole world lives by scamming one another? It never ceases to amaze me.

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:08 am

AWESOME bait jane.

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:59 am

Awesome bait. Great job. The lad screwed up when he missed his flight. You really should shove that down his throat at least two or three times. Remember, its always his fault. Set up the pick up and then do not call him. Let him try to call you. Blame him for not being at the pick up location. This is a great time to send him traveling to a WU office with a fake form. If you send it at night, he can not pick up, and then if you ignore him for a day he will only be that much more desperate the next day. Its also a great time to send him to a hotel lobby for pick up. Make sure its way across town. After a few weeks, he will be really stranderd.

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:50 pm

Update on our laddie:

This is getting to be an audio bait as laddie says he's mailing me but I'm not getting the dang mails. I'm certain he's traveled to Maiduguri but I'm disappointed at the lack of solid proof. Bah!

This was a long voice file, so I edited out the boring bits to give you the cliff notes version. There's a pretty good lad wail in it. You'll notice that he makes a reference to the church paying all his expenses once he got there. I guess he learned a very important lesson: he shouldn't trust people he only knows on the internet. Laughing

I think he's realized he's in deep shit now, which makes me very happy.

DivShare File - brother martins a little upset.mp3

Edit: Sorry it cuts out at the end. I hit the end recording button too soon! He didn't rant much longer after that anyway.

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

I love your work! Loved that other call you sent me

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 May 2009 Posts: 62

Quote:

Did I read this correctly? This guy actually thinks the Pres. of the US would do a scammy deal with an unknown? Do these people really think the whole world lives by scamming one another? It never ceases to amaze me.

Well, we ARE talking about a politician here Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 May 2009 Posts: 62

Connie L. Gus wrote:

Awesome bait. Great job. The lad screwed up when he missed his flight. You really should shove that down his throat at least two or three times. Remember, its always his fault. Set up the pick up and then do not call him. Let him try to call you. Blame him for not being at the pick up location. This is a great time to send him traveling to a WU office with a fake form. If you send it at night, he can not pick up, and then if you ignore him for a day he will only be that much more desperate the next day. Its also a great time to send him to a hotel lobby for pick up. Make sure its way across town. After a few weeks, he will be really stranderd.

Yep...hehe. That was a great stroke of luck. The church rep was there when he was supposed to arrive but gave up and went home.

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