Lads do tongue twisters (And Nursery Rhymes)

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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:21 pm

Who'd have thought that lads love to recite tongue twisters so much. Here's a selection harvested from my voice mail.

Click to listen

Please feel free to suggest any new ones that you'd like to hear.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:53 pm

How about this, TB? I combined a few oldies, and mixed it all up with some BS. If they are going to say something silly, Bert and Ernie must be around somewhere. Smile

A big bug bit the baby beetle but the baby beetle bit the big bug back.
The big bug racked the baby beetle on attack and baby beetle wacked
the big bug back and snatched his snack pak and despatched it to his pack
of brats. So don't bite a baby beetle wack, rack, or attack, or your snack
pak will snatched by baby beetle and despatched to baby brats. It's better
to crunch and munch for lunch bitter baby beetle so no snack pak will be
despatched to a pack of baby brats. Put some better butter on bitter beetle
to make your bitter beetle better. So big bug bought some better butter for
bitter baby beetle and it did make his bitter baby beetle better! Big bug
cried for fresh fried fish, fish fresh fried, fried fish fresh, fish fried fresh.
But he was out of luck with a burned better buttered bitter baby beetle
because Bert and Ernie barged and burned his better buttered bitter baby beetle.

Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:05 pm

^^^ I've started work on this Slap and I’ve got the first three lines already.

Click to listen

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

OMG, that is so stinkin' funny!!

I love the one who is really emoting on the "How much wood.." one. A career on the stage might be in his future.

Awesomely dumb lads! Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 3:02 pm

@TB- Thanks! This is killer shit. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 7:07 pm

The lads have been busy burning their phone credit to produce SlapHappy’s marathon tongue twister and here's the result:

Click to listen

Some lads aren't very happy about this secret pass phrase wheeze, which they have to use to get their MTCN.

Mr John Koolsman whined

Quote:

Hello Ronnie.

I am not happy with the way you are taking this transcation.
I want you to understand that this western union stuff is not working.the Western union office should have given you the M.T.C.N Number Directly and not through an Authomated voice process.

And Mr Thompson Brown begged

Quote:

Dear Ronnie,

Please I cannot go on with this whole thing any more, if you cannot go to the western union office and retrieve the MTCN number yourselves and send to me the MTCN number to me, I don't think you really want me to help you to collect your claims

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 7:38 pm

Thanks, TB! Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 9:02 pm

Excellent modality. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

The "sixth sheep's" one I know is slightly different and slightly harder "The sixth's sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick," and I was always fond of "shut down the shutters and sit in the shop," but you might have to get the lad to repeat that one three times.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 11:14 am

I like those "S" ones, thud. Very Happy

Maybe combine them with these?

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet,
a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.

A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought
the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?
Laughing

Here's some more I like. Smile

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch
wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't
have thought so much. thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to
Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and told Mr Inside
to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.
Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside
or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then
both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

A tutor who tooted the flute, tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two
to the tutor, 'Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?

Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott.
Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott
shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,
Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not
Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was
shot and that's hot! Is it not?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, FuzzyWuzzy wasn't very fuzzy... was he???

Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 55

This ia realy funny idea! Very Happy

http://www.eddh.de/x-files/dl_files/training_english.pdf Page 3 Razz

Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:33 pm

thud419 wrote:

I was always fond of "shut down the shutters and sit in the shop"

Click to listen

SlapHappy wrote:

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it

Click to listen Laughing

The Rev Fred Uke is starting to get suspicious

Quote:

I wish to inform you that though your attached MTCN has been received and the retrieval instructions followed to the later without any success.This method of accessing the funds is quite strange here.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:42 pm

Quote:

quite strange here.

An excellent insight by the lad. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Thank-you!
beers!

I think SlapHappy wins.

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:02 am

The lad at 1:30 of the audio file in the first post... could one person sound any more enthusiastic and constipated at the same time?

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:39 pm

Today's tongue twister is one I've made up myself. It is:

Eye Ham Ask Hammer

The results sound like a bunch of lads have suddenly been overcome by an uncontrollable desire to confess:

Click to listen

In the meantime, Kenneth Cole, an enthusiastic contributor to this thread, is sick of all this stuff:

Mr Kenneth Cole wrote:

RONNIE I AM SICK OF ALL THIS STUFF. I TOLD YOU I HAVE CALLED THE WESTERN UNION SEVERALLY THERE WAS NO RESPONSE.

But that's nothing compared to John Koolsman's declaration:

John Koolsman wrote:

Look Mr Ronnie i am a reputable man with high standard and i hate people tosing around with me. Shocked

I have tried the western union line is still thesame and will not try it again.

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:49 pm

well done... clapping

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:13 pm

Great modality TB!

Quote:

I am a SCAMMER...I AM A SCAMMER...can you give me the MTCN now?

That last one just killed me.

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:39 am

I love this TB. Laughing

Though, you'd have thought the last one you gave em, would have tripped of the tongue. Laughing

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:40 pm

Just in, SlapHappy's brilliant "Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not……" tongue twister.

Click to listen

closely followed by "I wish to wish the wish……"

Click to listen

Dr.Lugard Schmoll, Head Customer Care Service for the UK National Lottery, said

Quote:

guy come make i tell you, you be dead. na today u start 2 dey do guy? mtcn na 14 number 4 ur village? u nor dey try. i tink say u be better person

I think he's saying how much he's enjoyed making international phone calls to recite tongue twisters, but I could be wrong.

Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:57 pm

Here's dedication for you. This lad made three separate calls to attempt "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear....." Listen how he increasingly accentuates "was he?" on each try.

Click to listen

Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 10:13 pm

I thought I was pushing my luck with today's contribution, but what do you know, the lads came through for me.

Click to listen

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

I threw together one with the lad's favorite animal the goat in case you want to pass it along...

get great gifts for good goats
and good goats get great gifts

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:37 am

^^^ Thanks for that limburger. I put the lads to work on this one and it seems that they're more than happy to comply, when the subject matter involves goats. Here's a selection of their efforts:

Click to listen

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:42 am

tigbitties: Laughing

lowlife POS and goats ftw!

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