A most deserving lad

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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:23 am

Quote:

GODS WAYS ORPHANAGE HOME AND LESS PRIVILEGE:

Dearest one,

We received your mail and even the person from Ghana that introduce you to
us,god almighty will grant you and Mr.Nana your needs in the name of
Jesus.Amen. God`s ways Orphanage Home is located in Amasaman in the central
city of Accra region of the impoverished country of Ghana.

Founded in February 2007 the orphanage is now home to more than 60 orphaned
and less fortunate children in the area. Referred to in Ghana as leftovers
some of the children now living at the orphanage had simply been left to
live in the streets. Providing the children with food, shelter, clothing,
and an education, all in a loving Christian environment the orphanage has
given each of them a safe alternative to living in the streets where many of
them probably would have died...

My name is Mrs. Theavan Den Bosch, I was born in a small village near St.
Michel in Amasaman in Ghana. I am a graduate of Amsaman community school.
The Diocese of Methodist Church, sponsored my studies. In February 2007, I
founded an orphanage, which now has sixty children. The orphanage is located
in Amasaman, the capital city of the Ghana Central. I would like to talk
about myself and what led me to start an orphanage.

I grew up in rural Ghana. My father was a poor gardener and my parents
separated when I was four years old. They had six children, but three of
them died during infancy. The three of us who survived stayed with my
father. My father is the greatest man I have ever known. When my mother was
with us, things were better, but after she left, my father had to do
everything to take care of us. He fed us and took us to the doctor when we
were sick. Even so, my brother died when he was twelve years old because he
was anemic and my father could not afford medication for him. Only my sister
and I were left. We lived in a shack covered with straw and walls made of
wood strips and mud, which at this time, was common in the countryside.

One day, my father decided either my sister or myself should go to school.
He could not afford to send both of us to school, and it was decided that my
sister would stay home. It is quite common in Ghana for the girls to stay
home when parents cannot send all the children to school. Finally, I went to
school with my uniform, notebook, and pencil.

My father worked hard but he was not good at business. He could not even
count money and people always took advantage of him. My father worked
everyday in two gardens. He would wake up at five in the morning and go to
someone's garden to work for three hours. He received some money each day.
Before he went to his own little garden, he brought the money to us so we
could buy something to cook. We usually had one poor meal per day, which we
ate at the end of the day so that we did not go to bed with an empty
stomach. Sometimes, my father was invited to be a crew worker on - a group
of men who work on a farm for half a day, and in return, receive a big meal.
My father never ate at the farm. In fact, he left before the meal was ready
so that they would bring hi the food at home. That way we could all share
the food. This would be our only meal for the day but it was more than usual
and we were grateful.

Ten years later, my mother came back and took my sister while my father was
at work. She lived so far away from us that my father could do nothing to
get her back. I refused to go because I was angry with her for what she had
done to my father.

After my sister left, I was the only child at home and I had to prepare the
meal and do all the chores. First I went to school hungry, walking two hours
to school and two hours back home. Sometimes I took a piece of sugar cane
for my breakfast and lunch. School started at 8:00 am and finished at 4:00
pm. This continued for eleven years until I was twenty years old. I was five
years older than most of my classmates. I had to leave my native zone and
find another place to continue with school because the school in St. Michel
did not offer the last four years. Leaving my hometown would have been
absolutely impossible if my sister had not married a man who lived in
another side. They owned a little shelter with palm strips and a thatched
roof. I figured at least if I went there, I would not have to pay for rent
or food. Finally, after the fourth year of secondary school I went to
Another place to continue with school. My situation was nearly the same
except I could go to school most of the time without a uniform. I had no
friends and my classmates made fun of me because I was "the poor boy from
the country." They made fun of me because of the way I dressed, the way I
looked, and because I was not from the city. My sister and her husband had
to go to the countryside outside of Ghana for months at a time to work and
feed themselves and their children because they were starving and could find
nothing in the city. During these times I was alone and my father could not
help and I missed him dearly. Sometimes when I came back from school I would
walk two or three hours to find my sister, thinking maybe we could share a
meal. Sometimes she found something for us, but often it was a wasted trip
for me. But just seeing each other brought a lot of comfort and made us feel
relieved.

What a blessing! How did it all happen? Like many other people that I know,
I could have just dropped out of school, but I succeeded. For this I thank
God, my father, and all the others, who in one way or another, contributed
to my miraculous success. I could be living the way my father did, scraping
nothing from the land, but my life is infinitely better materially and I
have the opportunity to share the gifts of the spirit my father gave me with
others.

It was established with the long term goals to continue to grow and provide
for the less fortunate children of Ghana. Much has been accomplished in the
past few years including the construction of additional living quarters for
the boys, guest quarters for volunteers, the opening of the girls campus and
dorm, opening the on-site clinic, hiring of additional staff and more. While
much has been accomplished, we still must contend with many day to day
obstacles and immediate needs here at the orphanage. We must maintain an
ample supply of food, clean water, clothing, personal hygiene items, school
supplies and more. Some of the goals will take time to achieve, but they are
all achievable. To continue providing the children with the care they need
and deserve we need your help. Below are some of the more immediate needs
God`s Ways Orphanage currently faces.

1.With the new school building completed the more than 60 children living at
the orphanage are now able to attend classes in a safe, quite, more
controlled atmosphere. The building also provided enough classroom space to
allow us to offer nearly 250 additional children from the village of
Amasaman to attend classes as well. However with more children now attending
school at the orphanage, items like text books (in French), pens, pencils,
composition books, art paints, compasses and protractors for geometry,
rulers, and other school supplies for the students always seem to be in
short supply. Sometimes there just is not enough to go around. We are also
always in need of many teachers materials (in French language).

2.Another item that is needed is a DVD Multimedia Projector. This would not
only serve as a tool for the teachers during classes, but also allow the
children to enjoy an occasional movie in a group setting.

3.Another project funds are needed for is a reservoir or holding tank system
to store fresh water that is used for laundry, cooking, showers, and
filtering for drinking.

4.Because the main source of power at the orphanage is a generator, energy
efficiency practices are a must. One way this is accomplished is by using
energy efficient CFL (Compact Fluorescent Lighting) where ever possible. The
problem is that these bulbs are often hard to come by in here and when they
are available, they can be very expensive. So CFL bulbs are needed.

5.Common medicines are always greatly needed. Things that many in other
parts of the world often take for granted like aspirin, cold medicines,
antibiotic creams and bandages can be hard to come by in Ghana. With such a
large number of children there is always a cut or scrape that needs tending.
Even the more common over the counter medications when available at the
local clinic are often well beyond their posted shelf life.

6.Shoes (especially men sizes 6-10) and sandals are another item that is
often needed. I am sure that anyone with children can appreciate what it
must be like trying to keep this many growing children in footwear! If they
are not growing out of them, they simply wear them out.

7.Along with shoes there is of course always a need for basic clothing such
as pants, shirts, underwear, etc. Trying to keep over one-hundred growing
children in clothing is a major task in itself and clothing always seems to
be in short supply. While we sometimes have offers from afar to donate some
of these items, getting them to the orphanage presents a whole new issue.
Often the cost of shipping items of this type will exceed the value of the
items and for this reason, though we are happy to accept donations of
clothing it is usually recommended and more economical for those wanting to
help to instead make a monetary donation to the orphanage operating fund.
This allows Me to then purchase the clothing items locally, not only
providing more clothing for the same cost, but also helping others in the
area by providing business for the local merchants.

8.Some computer equipment had been donated in the past allowing computer
training to be added to the classes in the new school. Many of these systems
are extremely slow and outdated so we are hoping to acquire additional and
more up to date computer equipment as well as (french language) software.
Power filters are also needed for the computer lab to help prevent damage to
the systems during the frequent power outages and surges.

9.The girls dorm is now open and this has added the need for girls clothing
items as well as items to stock and furnish their dorm.

10.There are also the more obvious needs. Things that many may take for
granted are often a precious commodity in Ghana and often in very short
supply at the orphanage. Things like toilet paper and other personal hygiene
items such as soap, toothpaste and shampoo. There is also always a need for
brooms, mops, buckets and other cleaning supplies.

We sometimes receive offers from afar to donate some of the needed items.
However as mentioned above, getting items to the orphanage can present a
whole new issue. Because of the orphanages remote location the logistics and
cost of shipping the items will in most cases exceed the value of the items
being sent. In those cases though we are of course happy to accept the
donated items we may often recommend in such cases that those wanting to
help instead make a monetary donation to the orphanage operating fund. This
allows Me to purchase such items locally which not only provides more for
the same cost, but also helps others in the area by providing business for
the local merchants. Of course there are also cases where certain types of
items may not be available locally or may be quite expensive in Ghana. In
these cases we of course have to ask for the item to be send to the
orphanage and will provide any information needed to help find the least
expensive method.

Thank you and god bless you,we will be waiting to hear from you.You can as
well see the pictures... Kindly response to
Regards,
Mrs.Theavan Den Bosch.

This is by far the longest initial email I've ever seen.
It came in from a gmail, so I can't confirm the IP yet. I'll let you know when I get a shout back.

I don't know if I have the time (or know-how) to lead any kind of a mass bait, but I'm sure you can all think of what to do on your own.
Let's help her with her orphanage. I hope they have room for TW4T pyramids, etc.

*Edit: If any of you feel up to the task of leading a mass-to-bait session, I'll fall in line.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:40 pm

Ooo, the poor orphans. I wonder how I can help?

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:48 pm

He cribbed most of the text from here. I've not time to check the site's validity right now (mom duties).

I despise orphanage lads. Massbait idea: we're all members of the same wealth-theology church.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:12 pm

^^^
I like that idea. I've already written him a joyous message from my minister character.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:27 pm

I'm down, for sure! Massbaits bring me an unusual amount of personal satisfaction.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:00 pm

@mrscissorkick: Keep us posted and we'll reply in character. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:37 pm

[email protected]
IP: 41.210.27.238 (Accra)

Quote:

From Theavan den Bosch <[email protected]>
to Larry Legend
date Tue, Sep 1, 2009 at 1:36 AM
subject Re: Moist Blessings!

Dear Pastor Larry.
Thank you so much for your positive seponse. Well, you can help us by your contribution such as shelter, educationally and financially for our student though we have other project to accomplish. Dear pastor Larry, i want to asure to you that God would bloess you aboundantly as you help to renew the life of orphanages in our country. Thanks and God reserve you and your family. Amen.
Mrs.Theavan Den Bosch.

--- On Tue, 9/1/09, Larry Legend wrote:

From: Larry Legend
Subject: Moist Blessings!
To: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, September 1, 2009, 7:25 AM

God has truly worked a miracle in your life, because I am a minister of a Church here in America. What can my congregation and I do for you?
-Pastor Larry

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:45 pm

Muahaha, excellent. What's the name of our church and where are we located?

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:50 pm

Anything and anywhere. I'm open for suggestions.
Holy Mammon Church?
First Church of St. Ponzi?
Something down that road.
I assume we're in Texas, that's where churches are the most likely to be a bit nuts.

Edit:
Here's my pastor's reply

Quote:

I am delighted by the moistness of your missive! I assure you that these are the days of miracles and wonders. I have dispersed your humble address to my devoted and spiritually tuned flock of God fearing arch-laymen and we await your specific orders in how we can bring the thrill of God to your wretched yet deserving little orphans. Praises are waiting to be screamed in our great steepled edifice!
Moist amens to you sister.
-Pastor Larry

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:05 pm

Quote:

Dear Betty.
Thank you so much for your positive seponse. Well, you can help us by your contribution such as shelter, educationally and financially for our student though we have other project to accomplish. Dear pastor Larry, i want to asure to you that God would bloess you aboundantly as you help to renew the life of orphanages in our country. Thanks and God reserve you and your family. Amen.
Mrs.Theavan Den Bosch.

Another account got this.
Looks like we've got a real champ on our hands. Let's see if we can break this cut/paste habit of hers.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:52 pm

^^^I like First Church of St. Ponzi. You have a PM.

Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:23 pm

If anybody would like to join in my humble congregation, I told this d-bag that the first church of St. Ponzi is at their service.

All are welcome.

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:01 pm

Getting items to the location's hard, so they don't bother with that. But if you send them cash money instead of the items, buying and getting the items they need down there is easy. They buy all those things locally, which could never have actually been delivered down there in the first place, for the reasons he's given. Makes perfect sense.

There's so many potential modalities here to tie him up in knots, it's hard to know where to start Smile

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:15 pm

Too true P-Smith...
I for sure want a picture of the loving staff in action. Feeding, the orphans, cleaning the toilets, playing church sponsored sports, etc.

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:19 pm

We sent an orphanage/charity lad to Abeche last year. I think I despise them more than just about any other lad.

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:24 pm

Breakdown of costs. Average electricity consumption, quality of water supply, plumbing diagrams, how many fire exits and where they are on the building plan. You can't just send a huge donation to a badly organised outfit, after all.

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

My character is a Lorry driver if you need to take any goods over. My lorry is from the Allstar shipping fleet.

Let me know if you need someone to take the gifts over Smile

Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 3:42 pm

If you want to have someone in from the branch of your church in "germany" count me in.

Just give me a lil instructions on what has happened yet so I can make up a nifty lil story Wink

Whacka

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 76

If you need a High Priestess from the Canadian branch... I'm there!!! We live in 5 bedroom igloos and have bear rugs which don't leave rug burn!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 4:06 am

Quote:

Hello pastor Larry,
How are you doing on this weekend? i guess all is fine with you. Well, i just want to tell you that i do thank God for you—the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers for what you have for us and for what you are going to do because i know you are God's send to his people.
Dear pastor Larry, this seed you are going to sow is seed you and your entire family won't inherit all because you are dealing with God Almighty, who is the author and finisher of our faith.The Lord bless you and keep you the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Thanks, hoping to read from you soon.
My regard to you.
Mrs. Theavan Den Bosch.

Such an odd lass.

Quote:

Devout Theveanen,
Many praises are surely due. Be revived and know that my congregation had a service on Sunday dealing entirely on dealing with orphans. We have begun putting a fund together in light of helping you. So far we have amounded a sum of $20,000, but do not be dismayed, we will continue collecting for your poor orphans. I still wait for you to inform me of the greatest need that you want us to satisfy. Please do tell! I want a photo opportunity; I want to shout redemption[Bohigal challenged me to use a Paul Simon lyric in every correspondence]. Please write back.
Praise ye,
Pastor Larry.

We seem to be in a stale mate, she keeps telling me how badly they need donations, and I keep offering them. But I'm too proud to beg, so I'm waiting for her to give me specifics... so I can begin ruining her life.

All who want in: [email protected]
Just tell her Pastor Larry gave you the address (I said I gave it to my congregation, but if you guys want to be from some wacky country {like Canada} then go right ahead); if she asks for money post her request on here and we'll decide what sorts of fiery hoops to set before her.

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:10 am

^^^Here's hoping he ends up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard. Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:36 pm

Poor little orphans need knitted vests and willie warmers or pu55y covers.

2 gross vests: 1 gross each willie and pussy warmers ready for transport via the truck of @llSt@r

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:03 pm

The latest madness from Ghana

Quote:

Thank you so much for your concern. Actually, the most important thing we need now is for our hull to accomplish because where we are staying isn't nice, if you can see it on the photos i attach on the email. So, i can say that is the most important need we need now because sun and rain do disturb us whenever it start. Here is the photos below.. Thank you and God bless you as we continue. Amen.
Looking forward to hear from you soon.

She attached a bunch of typical pictures: the classroom, the group of kids outside of a cinder block building, etc. I didn't realize this orphanage was a sea going vessel, but apparently it has a hull, so forget the images of land-lubber orphans. Avast! These kids have their sea legs.
For some reason I got really fired up, so she got this little rant... Paul Simon and all.

Quote:

What fetching pictures! You should know that orphanages are close to my holiest of hearts. I will now proceed to tell you why... When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a boy in the company of strangers in the quiet of the railway station; running scared, laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go. Looking for the places only they would know. So I see my self in their bleary eyedness and downtroddeness. I am as much of a bastard as the children you have in your care. These pictures have awakened in me a powerful inclination. I will see to it that you have the finest hull that has ever traversed the tides. I will accept no excuses from my generous congregation. Expect great things from the Church of St. Ponzi!!! I will get back to you with the new inspired total of moneys to be thrust upon you in your neediest places! How much do you need? We only have $20,000 right now, but I promise that meager sum will not remain so insultingly low. You deserve so much more.
Kiss those children on their little bastard foreheads. Tell them St. Ponzi is smiling down from heaven and his righteous minister is buying them all they have ever needed.
Wisely,
Pastor Larry

Ok, so now I have to put my money where my bastard mouth is; let's raise us some boat money!

Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 7:12 pm

^^^

Nice one Mr. Scissorkick!

I wrote:

Mr. B0sch,
Oh! P@stor Larry gave us your email addresses and said we might enjoy communicating with a fellow Christian with a mission, and also if we want to make individual contributions for our tax purposes. Do you take contributions from individual donors also? Money makes you think all the world's a sunny day!

Can someone explain his reply to me?

Theoden wrote:

Thank you so much for contacting me and i know pastor larry, we have been communicating since all this while. anyway, yes i did because there's no other ways we feed from aeccpt by that way. so i take donations. Thanks and God bless you for your message.
Mrs. The@van Den B0sch.

Does he want a portion of my wealth or not?

Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:42 am

I get the feeling our little lad is a victim of babelfishitis.
I think she was saying they eat money, so cash is fine.