10000 Mile Safari! ("JOKE LIKE YOU GO TO HALL")

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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:40 pm

I hate going to the shop and forgetting my wallet. I can just see his face now as he realises he's travelled all that way and has to turn around to go home... The shoulders will slump. He'll shuffle his feet, he'll make the biggest sigh and start walking.

Make sure he thanks you for the adventure. You gave him the incentive to get off his lazy arse and go see the world outside. He needs to send you a muffin basket or something... Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:59 pm

I am hoping he loses it somewhere, makes a scene, and gets trow in an Egyptian jail. It is Ramadan after all, so a lot of the cops won't have eaten all day and despite their best efforts, may not be in the best mood.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:00 pm

Bob and Llam: You guys are an inspiration for Dougie. I'm sure he could look on the bright side of this all. In fact, seeing as he hasn't contaced me back, he really must be having a great time. (Well, I mean, he could also be sleeping, of course)

Caligula: I can move on with my life now that I have your forgiveness. Smile

Writeon and Skinner: Thanks a bunch. Very Happy

Nurse: Well, it's a good think he's not going to find out he's been diddled for quite some time. I wonder how expensive a hotel he's staying in. Twisted Evil

Bohigal: Amen. Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:01 pm

I have a hard time getting them off their ass to go pick up the moneygram.You send one 5,000 miles-there is no justice Very Happy

Job well done!!!! beers!

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:12 pm

^^ There is no justice, indeed. In all honesty, I have to admit that this one was more luck than it was skill. For what it's worth, I found out that actually picking up the phone and talking to them when they call you, as in, with your actual voice and not a soundboard, sends the trust factor through the roof.

In the meantime, in case anyone cares, here are the VOICEMAILS I got when he arrived in Cairo. Nothing special, just a frustrated lad.

http://drop.io/NickTheCop/asset/cairo1-wav

http://drop.io/NickTheCop/asset/cairo2-wav

For those who don't know, I've set my Google Voice account to just say "hello" when it goes into voicemail, so they never know whether they actually got through or are leaving a message.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:13 pm

Congrats! Great bait!!! Tell him that in the meantime, take a couple of pics for you Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:41 pm

^^ Pictures, webcam, postcards. So many requests, so little justification. Wink

But I'll certainly try. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? He travel another 5000 miles home? Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:58 pm

Maybe he'd be interested in meeting you in Khartoum, in The Sudan.
I mean, he has gone that far, what's a few hundred more miles?
Squeeze him until he's as dry as the Sahara sand. Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:09 am

^^ I like your thinking. Initially, I was planning to fly through Rome (or any European city close to the Mediterannean), and say that I wan't allowed to board the plane to Egypt because my passport wasn't authorized. There actually really is a bizarre visa-free travel arangement between the USA and Egypt which I've yet to fully understand, so the story isn't so unbelievable. But then, I suppose I could say (after he waits for me at the airport) that I am going around this problem by meeting him in neighboring Sudan. Naturally, the fact that Khartoum is just about as far from Cairo as Rome is is neither here nor there. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:18 am

Joking aside,don't sell yourself short.There may be some luck involved,but to have sent a lad on a trip like this you must have gotten him to trust you big time.He really wants to believe the payoff is coming,now more than ever.Just like they do with a vic.
Play it for all you can-you put a lot of work into it.

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:25 am

^^ Don't worry, I have no intention of abandoning this bait or just letting it coast. I got him this far, there's no way I'm letting him face the cold world on his own. Wink

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:39 am

For a lad, Matty (who's in Malaysia at the moment) seems really understanding (relative to what we're used to, anyway).

Matty wrote:

Dear Friend,

Divided attention multiplies your tension. You cannot be an idiot in the pursuit of course you did not cause. When you are frustrated and confused, nothing good comes out from you, only folly.

Be focused and courageous! I advise you to buy your ticket right away. Send your flight schedule to Dougl@s. He will surely be at the airport to pick you up as soon as you touch ground. Your flight schedule in this matter seems more important that just making phone calls.

On the other hand, Dougl@s has limited accommodation fare with him and he must not over stay his welcome in Egypt. So, you must meet him as and at when due to get this done. I do not like keeping one lonely in a strange land. I want both of you to see your going to and staying in Egypt as a home away from home. I do not like putting sorrows in people, no; it is not in my life. Douglas will be expecting that you will be arriving with this morning flight. How disappointed will he be!

As I write this email to you, its 1:30am [he's pretending to be in London], Wednesday 2nd September 2009 and in Egypt, it is 2:30am.So, Dougl@s will wake up this morning, full of expectation to pick you from the airport which will be dashed like a fresh palm wine that gets soared in no mean time.

Again, buy your ticket and send him your flight schedule. I will pass more instructions to him on this.

Sincerely,

G. M@tthews, Esq

Emphasis added, square brackets indicate my comments.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 May 2009 Posts: 81

Maybe it's too late, but...the airport code for Cairo is CAI...maybe the flight got mixed up and you actually went to CIA airport, which is Ciampino, Italy. (I've read about similar problems actually happening for real several times). It's only an extra 1300 miles Laughing

Anyway, great baiting!

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:13 am

Excellent job, Nick!

That is going to be one upset lad. Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:31 am

5000!

Congrats, Nick!

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:32 am

[Me too post] I have to say I'm trying for my first safari. It's nothing LIKE 5000 miles though. Great stuff!!! [/me too post]

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:44 am

Quote:

dashed like a fresh palm wine that gets soared in no mean time.

An interesting description for the coming storm.
Does this mean his bottle of champagne that he has ready for you will be tossed up in the air and broken on the floor of the airport? Pure poetry. Somehow I think it will be much worse than that. Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:13 am

Absolutely evil. Ten thousand congrats to you.

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:18 am

I hear Abeche is lovely this time of year. I'm not sure how you got there but if he's all the way to Egypt and you're just a few hundred more miles away with a suitcase full of cash...

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:06 am

Jack: Thanks for the tip. I'll see if I can make use of that.

Jose, Corona, IC and Connie: It's always a pleasure. Twisted Evil

Slap: This one's quite the cunning linguist *snicker* *snicker*. You'll all hate me for saying this, but I actually enjoy Matty's company. I may not agree with him politically, nor do I agree with his lifestyle, but his conversations are incredibly mentally stimulating. More so than the idiots in California.

SSA: I'm shooting for Khartoum right now, but once he gets there...

Here's an update from our boi.

Quote:

Dear Mr J0hn W G,

Sir,

Communication is very important ,kindly ask the firm if your Sat phone will be ready tomorrow ,if not please book your ticket and revert back to me immediately with your arrival schedule .You know very well that time waits for nobody which means we must look at our time frame to enable us conclude and actualised this transaction.

Secondly I would like to know if you have already book a hotel room for your stay. .

Waiting for your urgent response.

Thank you,

D0uglas M.