May Saint Merkin be with you (MY FIRST TROPHY!)

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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:10 pm

Nothing too spectacular, just a straight bait, although I'm super excited about getting my first trophy! Introducing Mr. D3rek Im0h (or Im0h D3rek, I'm not sure which):

Quote:

Dear friend,

Good day, my name is Im0h D3rek from nigeria ,please have mercy on me and listen to what i have to say,i made a mistake i shouldnt have made,but that will not make me to sin again, my girlfriend got pregnant for me and i cannot deny being responsible for the pregnancy,i am a poor youngman but she came from a rich family,we both love each other and i want to give the child the chance to live and see life, but her father wants the baby to be ABORTED by all means,the pregnancy is upto one month plus and her life will be at stake on aborting the baby, the father never considered all these things simply because he wanted her to marry his business partner,he has ordered his guards to beat me up and yet he is not ready to give up.

sir/madam, please i know i do not know you before but since friends and relatives have left me alone to suffer for my mistake,i decided to ask for help anywhere,i would have gone to look for a job but her father has sent his boys on a look out for me and God help me if they find me,my good friend whom am leaving with at the moment gave me his internet laptop computer and access, he suggested i seak help through the internet,he said that that is the best he could do for me,please i ask for your favour to help me financialy,nomatter how little ,just to give this child a chance to live again,i have ran away with Chi0ma my girlfriend,and i intend to stay away till she puts to bed so that the safety of our baby will be gauranteed,but now,we find it very difficult to feed properly,not to talk of taking her to hospital for medical check-ups.

please i realy need your help for i am very broke and confused.

please if you have any financial support for us,let me know, the child will live with your help,success,favour and blessings will never
depart from you nor your household as you hear the cry of the poor and come to my rescue.

thanks you and remain blessed for your understanding as i await your reply.

regards,

Im0h D3rek.

Well, shiiiiiiiiit. Enter M3rle Sol@ris:

Quote:

I read your story and am willing to help, although I have some questions first.

M3rle Sol@ris

And he's off script nice and quick!

Quote:

Thank you very much for replying to my mail,Please feel free to ask me any question.

God bless you.

Regards,

D3rek.

M3rle's got his doubts about this guy - I mean, all that 491, 419, 499...

Quote:

With all due respect, how do I know this is not a scam? I have heard about internet scams, and I want to make sure you are telling the truth.

If I can make sure you are being honest, I would be happy to help you.

M3rle Sol@ris

And what a pleasant answer from him!

Quote:

Thank you once again,
I am away of tthe rate of internet scam in the world,and my country is not an exception,but i want you to know that among bad eggs there is always a good one, i am an honest man despite my ugly situation,i could prove it to you,i coud snap and send you a picture of me,maybe with a sign that says{HELP MY BABY} though its going to cost me the little money i have,but i could do it if that would earn your trust and make you to help me.
please tell me if that will be ok for you.

Regards,

D3rek.

For those of you familiar with English soccer, that totally reminded me of Jose Mourinho's "Waitrose eggs" quote from a few years back!

Quote:

D3rek,

I think a sign would be an excellent idea. I really want to help you and your girlfriend, but first I must know that I can trust you. I hope you understand.

I realize that this will cost you money, but do not worry about that. Spend the money now, and once I know that I can trust you, I promise that I will help you out. You will have enough to give your girlfriend and child a comfortable living.

When I read your story, I was reminded of Saint Merkin, the patron saint of children and families. Perhaps you could make a sign honoring St. Merkin and asking for her help? I have a prayer for you:

SAINT MERKIN - MAY WE FOREVER BASK IN YOUR BUSHY RADIANCE

Copy this onto a sign (the larger the better, so I can see it clearly - my eyesight isn't very good [without my glasses]), take a photograph of yourself (and if possible, your wonderful girlfriend) holding the sign, and email it back to me. I would greatly appreciate this, and then I would know for sure that you can be trusted. If we can trust each other, I would be happy to help you and your young family financially.

May the coverings of Saint Merkin be with you.

M3rle Sol@ris

And then came a couple emails where he expressed concern that I would just screw him out of a posterboard and some marker ink. I promised him I would help since I always help out my friends...

Quote:

Dear,
please before i do this,what is the meaning of BASK IN YOUR BUSHY RADIANCE(please what do you mean by BUSHY RADIANCE?)and why do you prefer i honour him instead of you that wants to help me?

Regards,

D3rek.

Uh oh...surely he doesn't know what a merkin is? Think fast, M3rle -

Quote:

D3rek, my friend! Thank you for your questions. I would be happy to explain.

You see, money can help someone in your situation a great deal, but it can't do everything. For some things, you need to ask others from the spiritual realm for help. That is why, along with my sending you money, I would like us to ask Saint Merkin for help as well.

In my faith, Saint Merkin is the patron saint of children and families, meaning she watches over families - just like you, your lovely girlfriend, and your child.

Regarding the saying I would like you to place on the sign, there is an old legend I would like to share with you. The story tells of a woman who had a child, but could not take care of it. On a freezing cold evening, she abandoned the boy in a bush and left it to die. The bush inexplicably caught fire that night. Someone saw this, and rushed over to put the fire out.

When they got over to the bush, they noticed a child laying in there - right in the fire! But the child would not burn. Although the bush was on fire, the child slept peacefully. It was a miracle!! The legend says that Saint Merkin set fire to the bush to keep the child warm during that cold night.

This is where the saying "may we bask in your bushy radiance" comes from. It is a reference to that bush the child slept in, and to Saint Merkin's fire that kept the child warm. In your sign, let us ask Saint Merkin to keep you and your family safe.

Remember, once I have this sign from you, I would be happy to send you some money to help you. How does $1000 sound? I hope this will be enough to help your family. Let me know what you think, and please send the photo of you and your girlfriend holding the sign as soon as possible.

May Saint Merkin be with you always,
M3rle Sol@ris

WHEW!

Quote:

Thank you very much for the explanation,its now clear to me,and i promise to do it tomorrow or latest by next tomorrow.

Your new friend,

D3rek.

At this point, a few days passed with nothing from him. After all the interest he showed - he proposed he send a pic, after all! - had he dropped me? I sent a couple "where are you" emails, and eventually got this almost a week later:

Quote:

Dear,
I am really sorry for the delay,we had problems with internet connection due to heavy rainfall we are experiencing,i will get back to you with the photo by tommorrow.

Regards,

D3rek.

And finally....

Quote:

Dear M3rle Sol@ris,

Here is an attached copy of our picture , i decided to snap the picture with my girl chi0ma holding a sign as you requested, pls dear,i used part of our feeding money for the day to snap and scan this picture to you just to earn your trust,i believe you are a good person and will really help us.

Because i do not operate an account of my own,You can send me any amount you wish to help us with through western union or monegram stransfer(any one that is convinience and stress free for you) using my name as stated below;

Name:Im0h D3rek
Address: Lagos state, Nigeria

Please also remember to send me a scanned attached copy of the payment slip so i could use the informations contained in it to lay claims to any amount you sent me.

MOST IMPORTANTLY,PLEASE DO NOT USE ANY FORM OF SECURITY SHIELD TO SEND THE MONEY,AS I HAVE ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM IN THE PAST(LAST WEAK) TRYING TO RECEIVE FUNDS THROUGH IT FROM A GOOD FELLOW LIKE YOU,AND ALONG THE LINE I LOSS THE MONEY,,JUST ASK THEM TO TRANSFER IT DIRECTLY AND GIVE YOU THE SLIP, [Someone's been baited before!] this box is my personal box,so any information you sent will get to me alone.

we really believe in you and we also believe you will not let us down.

God bless you as i await to hear from you.

Regards,

IM0h D3rek.

And here's our lovely couple!
She looks good for being pregnant, and he looks good for having the shit beaten out of him by Daddy's guards.
More to come...and any feedback on where I could go from here would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:32 pm

Im happy for you but... sometimes i feel sorry for this poor people Sad

Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 10:15 pm

Sorry to steal your thunder a bit thrylos, but I think that's a fake picture. To me it looks like he printed the picture from the internet (so random people, perhaps other scammers baited before, who knows) and then used a marker to write on the photograph. Afterwards he scanned it in again. For a sign that big and written letters that big, he would have used paint (the real thing, not the program). But that sure as hell isn't paint. It's a nice try at a forgery, but a forgery nonetheless I think.

@Ana: If you are meaning you feel sorry for the people on the picture, whose faces are used to make a criminal stay anonymous, I can understand you. If you are talking about the scammers themselves.. Read your pm. I'll show you what I received in my inbox just ten minutes ago. (And that's also the reason I'm a bit touchy about the feeling bad for scammers thing)

Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:26 pm

Yeah, I actually had a suspicion it wasn't real. Something about the writing just didn't look right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But as my mentor mewing_ghecko said, real or not - it's a trophy! So I'm happy nonetheless.

I know we don't want to educate our lads, but is there any way I could slap him for that? I mean, I really want a proper sign from him. St. Merkin doesn't look kindly on forgeries Smile

Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:43 pm

Congratulations!

Even if the lad created the picture on his computer, you still tied him up
for a while and took him away from scamming others.

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 2:16 am

It looks like your lad took a picture with a blank sign, or found it on the net, and then wrote out your message with a felt tip marker. EDIT> caligula beat me to it.

Still, a good time waster for your lad, and still a trophy. Thumbs up

I rarely ever slap a lad, then again, I only trophy-bait. It is much easier to convince a lad to do what you want if you are nice to him and seem like you are working on his side.

If I feel the urge to slap a lad, I will usually do it with a secondary character. My main character is always doing his very best to help the lad along. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:41 pm

well done, I consider this a trophy for the simple fact that even though the lad sent you a doctored picture, this one is personalized just for you. Cool

thrylos7 wrote:

I know we don't want to educate our lads, but is there any way I could slap him for that? I mean, I really want a proper sign from him.

I wouldn't, let him think he fooled you. you still have a good chance of getting a real trophy, obviously this lad thinks sending pictures to his victims is normal behavior. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:46 pm

haha, great fake. I'd still call it a trophy of sorts, though, because they did produce something (sort of) to your specifications.

I'd give them profuse thanks for the picture, then figure out a reason to ask for one in a different pose without the sign. You might get a good "head transplant" trophy....

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

For the re-do, shouldn't the writing be in RED ink? To symbolize the flames of the bush? Complete with a drawing of said shrub? Adding the picture of a bush/shrub would make a bit more difficult for him to just write on a picture. (yes I do get the whole bushy bit)

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