A perfect potential church member

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Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:53 am

These are the answers I got from a wannabe member of my church:

Quote:

SIR PLEASE I HAVE TRIED MY BEST, I KNOW I MIGHT NOT BE RIGHT BUT SIR TRY AND ACCEPT MY ANSWERS.

1. How many times does one pray a day?
Pick: TWICE - FIVE TIMES - TEN TIMES - MORE WE SHOULD PRAY TIME WITHOUT NUMBER. (specify)
2. Quote each of the ten commandments:

1. ...........THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER gODS BEFORE ME.
2. .............THOU SHALT NOT KILL
3. ...............THOU SHALT STEAL
4. ..................THOU SHALT NO BEAR FALSE WITNESSAGAINST THY NEIGHBOUR
5. ....................THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
6. .......................THOU SHALT NOT CONVET THY NIEGHBOURS WIFE NOR ANY THING THAT IS THY NEIGHBOURS.
7. .........................THOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN.
8. .............THOU SHALT NOT BOU DOWN THY SELF TO THEM NOR SERVE THEM FOR I THE LORD THY GOD AM A JEALOUSGOD
9. .......................THOU SHALT NOT MAKE THY SELF ANY GIVEN IMAGE,
10. .........................REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY , TO KEEP IT HOLY

3. What would Jesus do in the middle of the ocean? There are two
options:
1. HE DIVIDED THE SEA
2. HE OVER FLOWN THE SEA AGAINST THE EGYPTIANS

4. What plans does Jesus have for us? Is there to be an Apocalypse?
Explain: ......................TO GAURD AND PROTECT US AGAINST THE DEVIL.
................................................................
5. What is your favorite book? .......BIBLE

THANKS
(Name of scammer)

Pretty good, don't ya think? The perfect pupil. Too bad I originally asked the lad to handwrite the answers (and questions.)

So I sent my pet this:

Quote:

(lad),
Perhaps you misread my instructions. Your answers are good, but can you copy them onto paper? Write down the 5 questions, and answer them accordingly. Then, when done, scan your work into your computer and attach the saved file on a message directed to me.
Seeing your handwriting will prove you exist.
Thank you for your enthusiasm; you shall make a great member.
(nameless reverend).

I am determined that there's a trophy in this one. Plus I really want him to become a member (He seems a dedicated one!)

Edit: I've just noticed this answer:

Quote:

THOU SHALT STEAL

Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:07 pm

Actually he's left one out; Honour thy father and mother isn't on his list.

According to Wikipedia (renumbered from the verse references in Exodus):

1 Do not have any other gods before me.

2 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

3 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

4 Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. For six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.

5 Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

6 You shall not murder.

7 You shall not commit adultery.

8 You shall not steal.

9 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:18 pm

^^
I'll point out the mistake once he handwrites it - should piss him off more.

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