Safari Hat-Trick ("i have heart attack now")

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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:59 am

Everyone here knows that I'm pretty mediocre as far as baiters go. I mean, I'm too lazy to take phone calls, most of my ASEMs are just mass insults, I've never managed to get a lad to record a song for me, my longest safari is only a 300mi/500km round-trip (which only even qualifies as a safari because of the border crossing). I suppose I am to baiting, as that kid that gets the "Best Dimples" award at the prize giving ceremony is to school.

Nonetheless, I have no intention of abandoning baiting as I do feel that my half-assed efforts do hinder the lads at least a little bit. Furthermore, it is always great fun when you come across a lad that is almost too stupid to believe. One such character, is my good friend, , formerly known as .

So far I've been baiting him almost a full year, and he has been a great joy. He never sends scripts. He always sends long, thought out answers. He gets dressed up for photos and has them taken at professional places. He keeps calling me and leaving voicemails even after I've not picked up once. He's a real peach. Where he truly shines, though, is travelling.

As of today, that same lad has travelled to the same location for the same set of characters for the same reason with the same excuse a grand total of THREE TIMES. I'm beginning to think he actually enjoys it. Twisted Evil

Safari Lad wrote:

Good morning Sir,

How are you doing? am sorry i arrive yesterday night very later,i was looking for cyber to write to you but i could not get any one.
I was even looking for where to sleep last night.so now iam in Mile2 Ghana and Lome bustop, there`s a cyber at jakande estate at the back of mile2. iam now.
brother please give me your number so that i can call you now.

please brother iam qick because iam waiting to meet with you face to face.

bless you, take care.

Yours Mich@el

IP Address: Received: from [62.173.34.46] by web59809.mail.ac4.yahoo.com via HTTP; Thu, 20 Aug 2009 01:04:02 PDT

Old IP Address: Received: from [41.207.162.5] by web59807.mail.ac4.yahoo.com via HTTP; Wed, 19 Aug 2009 03:44:59 PDT

Just before leaving he wrote:

Dearest chairman,

From today iam your boy, you are my chairman.
Well this is my picturs as you can see iam your son also your boy.
I will be moving today by the grace of God.

ok take care Sir.

Yours Son

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:17 am

a bungee lad how nice Laughing

some people have all the luck Wink

most of mine won't shift a yard Crying or Very sad

but it's still great fun trying

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:35 pm

^^ Chin up, little fella. You'll get your pith helmet one day. Thumbs up

Update:

Lad just wrote:

Brother what is wrong? i have been waiting here so long now.
it is more 4hours now,please dont keep me waiting.
peopel are just looking at me here.

please call me.\
yours M

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Great job, great lad. Thumbs up

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

That's to funny Nick. Congrats, again and again and again. Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 30 May 2009 Posts: 298

Nice one.

I read the bait through the point of the first safari, but it looks like you stopped publishing around 11-21. Too bad. I'd love to have seen this keep going.

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:16 pm

JM and DQ: Thanks. Thumbs up

Ray: I forgot I still had a link to it in my sig. I've just been doing copy-and-paste jobs with it (the sig, that is) after the first pith helmet. I stopped publishing because it took me about an hour to publish a total of 30 e-mails. The bait had also reached the stage where I was exchanging about 30 e-mails a day with him (multiple characters, coinciding free time, etc), my last published e-mail was in January if I remember correctly, and, well, you do the math...

I have been planning, though, to publish all future chapters (with a backdate) highlighting only the most interesting clusters of days, such as those where safaris are involved. As you can see, though, I've not gotten around to it yet. Sad

Sorry.

In the meantime, here's a word from our <strike>sponsor</strike> lad.

Frustrated Tit wrote:

Sir what is still keeping you,
this almost 5hours now.

please tell me what to do now, because when it is night i dont know where i will be staying.
I dont know any body here, please dont do this to me.

Yours M

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:18 pm

Nick,

What a gem your lad is.... and I think you're too humble about your baiting skills.

Third trip for the lad! Maybe he's thinking, Third time's a charm...ha

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:41 pm

well done Nick, I would say 1 lad = 3 safaris is well outside the definition of mediocre.

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:42 pm

Nick,
Congrats, Congrats and Congrats. clapping

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:45 pm

Catcher:

Third time's a charm, yeah. It's a charm for me because I'm going to extend this more than I did the other two. Twisted Evil

Ghecko and Writeon: You're too kind.

In the meantime, our friend has this to say to Ol' (for those who know who he is).

Quote:

Dearest brother,
How are you doing? brother i have been here in Lagos for the past 11hours now.
i hqve been waiting for Chvcky Solud0 to come and pick me up but could not see him.
Brother if there's any were you can contact him please help me now, i dont want to be stranded here againg.

Yours Brother M

After a sympathetic response from Sands, he sends this.

Quote:

Brother i can not even understand why he is doing this to me.I have been here lonely i have not take my bath since morning.
I have email him more than five times today but i could not hear from him yet.
brother you know i dont know any body here i dont know where to sleep this night.
please brother if it can be possible send a driver to come and pick me up here.
iam can not be here so lonely, i need to meet with you.
please brother do somthing for me now.

Thanks for all your effort and love towards.

Waiting to hear from you now.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:57 pm

Quote:

.I have been here lonely i have not take my bath since morning.

Anytime you can get a lad to say he hasn't taken a bath is pure gold. Very Happy

Nice work, Nick. clapping

"Mediocre," my ass! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:11 pm

Thanks, Slappy. Although, I don't have nearly as many pith helmets adorning my sig as you do. Shocked

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:12 pm

^^^Hi Slap! Cool

Quote:

have not take my bath since morning.

Do he need 2 a day? Shocked

Maybe he sweat alot. Laughing

Awesome, Nick! clapping

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:13 pm

SlapHappy wrote:

"Mediocre," my ass! Very Happy

This thread is about Nick, not your ass. pervert! Laughing

Nick any chance of getting this boi to travel farther? maybe there's a SSC not far from him and he can catch the shuttle?

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:23 pm

I think there should be a special helmet for repeat safaries, that has to take extra skills!

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:28 pm

Corona: The West African summers can't be too kind. I hear it's very humid round those parts this time of year. Personally, living in the Central Valley (which is even worse than Africa in terms of heat), in summer I find myself taking showers as often as three or even four times a day! But then again, the fact that I have a thick pelt attached to my skin doesn't help much either... neither does the fact that my AC's busted.

Ghecko: I do intend to get him to travel a bit more (if I can pull it off). The idea was that Mikey was going to meet my oga character, (original, right), in Lagos and they will drive together (in Sol's car) up to Ibadan to get money. My aspiration is to get him all the way to Ibadan himself. And if that happens, Sands and Sol will, of course, already have left for Abuja to check out the oil-rich land. But I'm not holding my breath, it was difficult enough to get him to travel to Lagos, let alone across Nigeria.

Devil Woman: What a wonderful idea! Wink

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:32 pm

Nick, I have tunnel vision at times. Embarassed

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:26 pm

^^ No worries. Smile

Here's the latest from my dear broda.

Sad Mugu wrote:

Brother thanks alot,
iam at Mile2 bustop right now.
if you are sending a driver plaese let me know so that i can get his number or i can give him number he will use in calling me as soon as he arrive here.
Brother do you know that i sold some of my iteams to get some money to buy food this morning.right now i dont know where to sleep.please help me out now.

hope to hear from you now

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:48 pm

Here's an update. I think he just might be pissed.

Mikey to Soludo wrote:

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

YOU HAVE MAKE ME REGREAT OF COMING WHY?

ONLY GOD KNOW WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME.

AM SORRY I WILL BE GOING BACK.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

I'm not too worried about him going back, though. I already wrote to him from Sands' account that I'll send a driver from the hotel to pick him up.

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:20 pm

This is baiting at its finest. Great job. Any time wasting modality while he on safari will really hurt your lad. I had my lad looking up the hours of operation and coordinates of every WU office around him for miles. Partial scans of transfers will cost him at least a day in the bush each.

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:31 pm

^^ At the moment I'm just keeping him in limbo by always making him believe that someone, whoever it may be, will be coming to pick him up within the next hour or two. In the last e-mail (from Sands) I sent him, I promised to not go to sleep until I find him a driver, even if it takes all night.

His reply follows.

Quote:

Brother iam very greatful may the Lord bless you.
brother iam afriad because when it is 10pm the cyber caff will close and i dont know how i will be comicating with you also where to sleep. you know lagos is very dangerious.

Brother please i want you to do for me now if it can be possible. give me the name of the hotel and hotel phone number maybe i can look for a driver that can take me to the hotel.
or what do you think?

i have not rested since morning.

oh my beloved brother please help me out.

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:30 am

He won't rest tonite either. Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:04 am

Sad Lad Wrote;

Quote:

maybe i can look for a driver that can take me to the hotel

That is a splendid idea. He can hire a driver and you can have the money waiting for him at the front desk of your hotel along with a key to his suite so he can clean up and get a proper nights rest. Naturally you can't meet with him tonite because you are tired and need some rest but it can all be sorted out in the morning. It should be a hoot when the driver collects his fare through whatever means. We could call the driver.....ummmmmmmmm......"The Hand" Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:54 am

Corona:

Canuck: There's one nagging little thing though... two, actually. The first is that I'm not really at the hotel. So if I give him the number so that he can hire a driver, I'm certain that at some point he'll ask for me and then it'll slip that I never was there. The other thing is that I want to be more or less aware of when he'll arrive in Ibadan so that, rather than go looking for me at the hotel, he can receive an e-mail at the last moment saying we've left for Abuja. That's if he even gets to Ibadan.

Here are some updates from while I've been away. Chronological order.

To Sands wrote:

Goood morning,
how are you doing?
i was waiting to hear from you yesterday night.
brother iam not happy, why should Solud0 do this to me.

well God will pay him back.

Brother what should i do now? should i go back?
please get back to me now or i will die here.
i sleep in a bustop so cool and dangerious.

only God know how i feel right now.

He's "cool and dangerous". Cool

To Sol wrote:

YOU HAVE TRY VERY MUCH,
THANKS ALOT.

GOD IS THE WTACHER OF EVERYTHING,HE WILL PAY YOU BACK.
IF YOU PLAND GOOD FOR ME GOOD WILL FELLOW YOU IF YOU PLAND BAD IT WILL FELLOW YOU.

I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.
THANKS

All caps. I'm shaking.

To Sands (half an hour ago) wrote:

Brother what is wrong? Iam still waiting to hear from you.

please keep in touch with me,i really want to see you today.
please do something to set me free from here.

I conclude this post with the ceremonial rolling eyes.

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