Lad Maths Strikes Again - Now With Tragic Twist!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:08 am

We know that Lads sometimes have problems with maths; sometimes it makes our job so much easier. The Lads from this thread: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=169302 are in this category.

Finally, they must think they have it done. An invoice arrives, with a bank account listed (it's the third Lad account from this bait and Alan's got them all). The sum to send is a Transfer Charge for $35,250 - or about eight times what they haven't received so far.

Quote:

You are now required to send to us the cost of transfer charge (COT) as shown in the reciept attached below. And as soon as we confirm the (COT) from you we will commence on the transfer without further delay. You may send it on instalmental basis if you are not able to send it at once.
We are waiting to confirm the full payment before we can proceed for the transfer of your fund.

So I asked:

Quote:

Please explain how you calculated those charges.

Nice short reply:

Quote:

0.1% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT

Interesting... because the "total amount" is $7.52 million; 0.1% of that is $7520! Rather than educate him directly, I sent back

Quote:

DO THE MATH AGAIN

If he screws up again, I'll have to complain to the OPD one more time...

Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 3:35 pm

I give him an F in math.

Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:19 pm

There are three number planes in the world... real, imaginary and lad Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:39 am

Guess what? He's done the maths - and revised the number - UPWARDS!

Quote:

Thank you very much for your mutual understanding. There was a mistake which I did, and that would have landed me into a big loss if not discovered on time.

However I have recalculated and have come to the appropriate amount. The Cost of the transfer is $37,600.00. and by tomorrow I will get the invoice and send it to you.

I'll tell him when the invoice arrives...

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:22 am

As well as maths some lads have also moved into the world of physics, like my current lotto lad who has invented the anti-gravity envelope...

Quote:

Your Parcel Contains Of:
1) An original certificates/Bank Draft of weights.....4.9Gramms
2) Total weight of your parcel................3.9Gramms

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:11 pm

OK - the Lad explained his methods:

Quote:

It is not upto One percent so here is what you will do to get it right. Use one percent of the total amount and divide it by two, what you have is it.

Mal could only reply:

Quote:

Accurate? Like hell it is. Do the math again, and this time, get it right!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

Do you get a discount if you send high denomination notes through Westan Onion as there is less bulk for them to transfer? Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:49 pm

Well, reason has dawned, after a fashion:

Quote:

My name is Mr. G0dsw11 Mm4du, I am writting to correct the mistakes of my colleague. The correct amount for the transfer charge is 7,520 (Seven thousand five hundred and twenty US Dollars), and the invoice is attached below.
Meanwhile we appologize for any inconvenience it might have caused you, please bear with us and over looked it. Mr Fr4nk J0s3ph is passing the shock of some misfortune that befallen him recently, and we have discovered that he is not presently well being in the state of mind. He will be going on leave.

They must be cursing the vastly reduced payday... but little do they know that the dollar chop is imminent...

Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 2:20 pm

I have this bill :

This mail :

Quote:

Cher****

Comme vous l'avez demandé à voir la facture avant de faire le paiement, je suis sur la fixation de la facture par e-mail pour vous de savoir que je suis un couche de réputation et je ne repaire pour vous.

Note: l'argent été consacré à cette transaction doit avoir une facture pour le dossier, et seront remboursés à 10% de l'alignement des dépenses.

Je comprends que vous paierez à peu de frais de 850 $ l'envoyer via Westrn Uniun Transfert d'argent s'il vous plaît assurez-vous de garder une trace de cela.

And this payment details :

Quote:

Recivers Nom: J0hn Kingsl3y Nj0ku
Adresse: Accra, Ghana
TEXTE QUESTION: De quelle couleur?
REPONSE: WRITE
MONTANT À ENVOYER: US $ 8,50

I get a 99.55% discount!!

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:45 pm

Mal was displeased:

Quote:

Forget about that clown Joseph going on leave - I want him sacked! He either tried to take me for $30000 or made a basic accounting error that proves him to be a complete incompetent. If he was having problems, then maybe he should have been relieved of duties; who the Sam Frick was responsible for supervising him?

But it seems that Mal was being uncharitable:

Quote:

I received the email you sent on saturday and I understand your feelings, but I beg you to take it easy. It happened to another customer aswell but it was contrary to yours, so I must bet you that he was not trying to rip off any amount from you. Mr. Joseph used to be one of the best and had worked for a long time with our Bank and that was why the foreign remittance department was entrusted to him. But it was quite unfortunate that things went that way.
Now the entire members of the executives of our BANK want to sit together and discuss what to do with him while he is on leave. Meanwhile I am now in the position to attend to your service.

Mal decided to forget the money for now. Hey, he's a nice guy, and the money's safe where it is, right?

Quote:

I'm curious to know what happened to Mr Joseph. Whatever it was, please tell me, as I've lived outside that kind of existence. Being an executive is, to me, as alien a life as I'm sure you or Mr Joseph would find the life of a US Marine.

Well, it's quite a story...

Quote:

Ok, I will brief you but please dont ask further questions pertaining it,
His two sons died after eating an african fruit where they went to spend the mid term holidays with their uncle. The fruit is called 'UDALA' in african dialect, looks like apple fruit but smaller than apple and mainly found in rural areas. The autopsy carried out indicates that the fruit was poisoned. Thanks for your concern

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

Poison apples(sorta)...Too funny. Now that's a lad with an imagination. It's nice not to hear the same old car accident, plane crash crap.

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:05 pm

"Don't ask further questions pertaining it"?

Poisoned apples?

Seems to me like the CIA is at work here!

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Interesting choice of death.

Igbo Proverb wrote:

An udara fruit that falls on the side of the road is asking to be eaten.

Might that be a reference to the 419 game?

ref: http://www.amadipress.com/Proverbs.htm

Lad Maths Strikes Again - Now With Tragic Twist!	View next topic View previous topic