Return of "The Blues Man" Reven Usman

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:55 pm

After two months of blissful silence from our one-year timer lad, Reven Usman,
he rears his droning head. Shocked

I received two emails, but Frumpy got 6 or 7.
Frumpy is going to ask for intimate marital advice for A. or something, I think. Smile

Although, I wouldn't blame him if he shot himself, instead.
If not for the blues on the first go-round of the bait, Frumpy and I would not
be mostly sane and alive right now.
For some great blues tunes, check out the last few pages of the uber-long bait
here:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=145278

Quote:

from Presidency Office
to Emil
date Wed, Jul 8, 2009 at 3:13 PM
subject Re: Urgent

What are you people doing about the ATM card that is still here?
----
from Presidency Office
to Emil
date Mon, Jul 20, 2009 at 4:08 PM
subject Re: Very Urgent pls,.

Good morning all of you.

For you people believe that I really her to have her ATM card because laying
down in my office is off no use so is better I dispatch to her but I can not
do it with empty handed so I want to know immediately like how much will
you people raise between today and Thursday so that I can be able to insure
it and dispatch it to her immediately

I replied to Reven Usman (Just WHY?? I have no idea!) Is there a Doctor in the
house?
I sent him the lyrics to Pennies From Heaven and told him to go stand out
in the rain. Smile

Listen here
http://www.4shared.com/file/122588092/8ce18aff/Pennies_From_Heaven_-_Billie_Holiday.html
or here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dBbeTKII0M

Quote:

from Emil Tischbein
to Presidency Office
date Mon, Aug 3, 2009 at 9:15 PM
subject wait for the rain

Dear Reven U.

Oh every time it rains
It rains pennies from heaven
Don't you know each cloud contains
Pennies from heaven
You'll find your fortune
Fallin all over town
Be sure that your umbrella is upside down
Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers
It you want the things you love
You must have showers
So when you hear it thunder
Don't run under a tree
There'll be pennies from heaven
For you and me

I put the rest of the lyrics in my auto-reply message.

"he world was bright when you loved me
Sweet was the touch of your lips
The world went dark when you left me
And then there came a total eclipse
Nobody knows how cruel fate can be
How close together love and hate can be
Goodbye, just clean the slate for me
Thats life I guess"
Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:55 pm

Ok, I´ll take that challenge Smile

so let´s edit in the replies.

Here is what I sent his daughter character:

Quote:

Hi dear Shirley Smile

I´m a young mother now but I really need the ATM mney so can´t you send the 300 to your daddy to help me claim it? You know I have Cocaine habit, it´s mighty bad, it's the worst old habit that I ever had
Shirley take a whiff on me
You know even yesterday I went to Mr Beaman's in a lope, saw a sign on the window said no more dope.
If you don't believe cocaine is good ask Alma Rose at Minglewood, she will tell you it´s better than a man in your bed!
I love my whiskey, and I love my gin but the way I love my coke is a doggone sin. LOL
Since cocaine went out of style you can catch them shooting needles all the while, it takes a little coke to give me ease, strut my stuff long as you please (bit don´t tell Erdogan LOL)

Shirley take a whiff on me

http://cocaine.org/cocaine-habit.html
"Cocaine Habit Blues", sung by Hattie Hart acc. by the Memphis Jug Band. Recorded on May 17, 1930.

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:08 pm

And there he is....
To Aglaia:

Quote:

I will give my father the money to night
I will give my Father the money this night but make sure you send him the balance because he said that with out you completing the hole money the atm will not be send to you but he is willing to send it to you this time. so try my dear so that you will have your atm now.

Or if you don't mind you can send the money through so that I will give to him myself

Call me with this phone number: +234-702-580-3515

To Erdogan:

Quote:

i will cancel the atm after this weekend

Whatever, I have already had a song in mind Smile

Here is a cool musical cartoon to Dick Justice´s "Cocaine" Very Happy

:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgDbzd_tIEw

Quote:

Dear Sir honourable Reverend Usman,
Please don’t take me for no fool, I ain’t gonna quit Aglaia while the weather’s cool.
She bring me meal, I swear she brings me love, we will pay, she bring me everything honey that a girl can steal

However, you as my Reverend I can tell you, tamam, a vaudeville circus rider came to town, they got a dancer lookin’ nice and brown, they didn’t know it was against the law for the underages to stop at a five cent store - just around the corner, just a minute too late - I’m simply wild about my good cocaine!

Wait, here is Aglaia, we can call you if we must, here come Sal with a nose all sore, doctors said she couldn’t smell no more, Lord, run doctor, ring the bell, the women in the alley are simply wild about my good cocaine!

Furniture man came to my house, was last Sunday morn asked me was Aglaia at home, said she’d long been gone to church,
Backed his wagon up to my door, took everything I had, he carried it back to the furniture store, dear Sir honourable Reverend UsmanI did feel sad!!!

What in the world has any man got, now messin’ with the furniture man?
If there ever was a devil born without any horns musta been the furniture man

Keep this ATM card, we need it mre than ever!!!

respectfully, your partner Erdogan

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

OMFG!!

How is this bait still going on??!

Quote:

i will cancel the atm after this weekend

Yeah, haven't heard that one before Rolling Eyes

p.s : good work Smile

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:43 pm

AL1VE wrote:

How is this bait still going on??!

Shaphappy and I need a reason to talk about music Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:12 pm

Nice selections, Frumpy. Very Happy

I'm enjoying this musical thread, but I bet our friend the Reven isn't. Laughing

Reven did not understand "Pennies From Heaven" lyrics? What is this world coming to, Frumpy? Confused

He wrote me this yesterday:

Quote:

Subject: I don't undertsand

I did not understand you. I will cancel the atm

and his reply the the autobaiter message with the rest of the lyrics...

Quote:

Well, is like you are palying with me and I will never blame you at all because if your friend did not include in the business you wouldn't have, have the got to write rubish.

Ha Ha Ha. "Rubish?" Mad

Johnny Burke never wrote any rubbish!
Here's the next song selection for Reven Usman, readers. Very Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rATftJiWdkw

I wrote the Reven this morning. Smile

He'll enjoy this number. Smile

Another Johnny Burke song.

Quote:

Subject: Would you rather be a fish?

Dear Reven U.,

What is the world coming to, that you do not understand? Just what were you
taught in school anyway Reven? Did you never have to write a book report or
essay to explain the meanings of the author's story or novel? Maybe you will
understand these words better. My father sang this to me when I was a small
boy.

Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish
A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star

Do you want us to send him any of your favorite song lyrics, ALIVE?
We would be glad to include your selection. Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

^Hah, that'd be great. I don't listen to blues though. How would the Rev feel about The Killers - Somebody Told me?

Quote:

Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I've had it with this game
I'm breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain't close in a place like this
Anything goes but don't blink you might miss
Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential

Ready? Let's roll onto something new
Taking its toll and I'm leaving without you

Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushin', a rushin' around

Pace yourself from me
I said maybe baby please
But I just don't know now
When all I wanna do is try

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushin', a rushin' around

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:18 pm

@Alive - Done! It's been placed in my autoreply responder, Subject: Don't ruin my moonlight Reven U. Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:57 pm

Erd0gan sent to Shirley (the lad´s "daughter") the lyrics of Blind Blake´s "Hard Pushing Papa":
http://www.4shared.com/file/125017656/e3ada042/15_Hard_Pushing_Papa.html

Quote:

Subject : are you Shirley, AgIaia´s friend? hey Wink

from Erd0gan

Hey baby Shirley do you hav some pics?
I come to town and I come to stay Better watch out women when I come
your way 'Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, I don't know when to stop, push you until you drop!
Come on, show me some pics babeeeeee
Listen all you fellas, I beg to state break up your loving and haul your
freight Shirley I'm a hard pushing papa, don't know when to stop we will come to meet you, let´s bouncy-bouncy Wink

nudge nudge know what Imean know what I mean?
I have muchmoney from AgIaia and I can bring some over to you ,I'm a
hard pushing papa, push you until you drop
If you want to fight you soon will see A cat and dog ain't got a thing
on me I'm a hard pushing papa, don't know when to stop Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, push you until you drop

Shirley, I'm rough and tumble, I never been to school Nobody can beat me 'cause I break all the rules 'Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, don't know when to stop "Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, push you until you drop
Don´t tellmy wife, tamam, Take my liquor standing up, my women sitting
down, Man cross my path I'm gonna run him out of town 'Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, don't know when to stop Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, push you until you drop

Let´s talkaboutmoney, mama, but sex first, Don't get scared, sweet mama, what I tell you is true
You'll like my South Street jelly roll in you 'Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, don't know when to stop Cause I'm a hard pushing papa, push you until you drop

Call your Erd0gan THE MAN a hard pushing papa!

güle güle

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

awesome

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 4:04 pm

Haha!

Lookie there, Frumpy!^^ We picked up another music fan! Very Happy

Welcome to the Reven U Music thread, blacksheep. Do you have a song request for the next round? Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

I thought you'd never ask. Very Happy

How about "Stay Gold" by Stevie Wonder? If that one is no good, I have more. Smile

Seize upon that moment long ago
One breath away and there you will be
So young and carefree
Again you will see
That place in time...so gold

Steal away into that way back when
You thought that all would last forever
But like the weather
Nothing can ever...and be in time
Stay gold

But can it be
When we can see
So vividly
A memory
And yes you say
So must the day
Too, fade away
And leave a ray of sun
So gold

Life is but a twinkling of an eye
Yet filled with sorrow and compassion
Though not imagined
All things that happen
Will age too old
Though gold

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 4:38 pm

Yeah ok

whichever character (Emil, Erd0gan, AgIaia) gets a reply sent to is going to send out Stevie Wonder Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

I think maybe this one would be easier to fit into your bait. But then again.. if you can make "Swinging on a Star" fit, you can make anyhing work. Laughing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQiJdf-ebIs

Too Much Time on my Hands- Styx

Sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool
Got the twelve oclock news blues
And Ive given up hope on the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder Im not crazy? is it any wonder Im sane at all
Well Im so tired of losing- I got nothing to do and all day to do it
I go out cruisin but Ive no place to go and all night to get there
Is it any wonder Im not a criminal?
Is it any wonder Im not in jail?
Is it any wonder Ive got

Too much time on my hands, its ticking away with my sanity
Ive got too much time on my hands, its hard to believe such a calamity
Ive got too much time on my hands and its ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Well, Im a jet fuel genius - I can solve the worlds problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as Im buying
Is it any wonder Im not the president
(hes not the president)
Is it any wonder Im null and void?
Is it any wonder Ive got

Too much time on my hands, its ticking away at my sanity
Ive got too much time on my hands, its hard to believe such a calamity
Ive got too much time on my hands and its ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

Okay this is the last one I'm going to throw at you for a while. That's why I love this bait; because there are endless possibilities. Laughing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtJqosE93Js&NR=1

Styx- I am the Walrus

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister city policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like lucy in the sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying.
I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the english rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the eiffel tower.
Elementary penguin singing hari krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking edgar allan poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:57 pm

@blacksheep - I have put Styx in the queque. Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 7:25 pm

Yeah, let´s try. - No reply in yet.

How about making this a mass mailing idea? "Send your favourite lyrics to 500 scammers"

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

I'm in.

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:05 pm

Don´t expect too much Laughing

Out of 100 lads, some 60-90 will reply. 50+ will send their stupid format.
A few will say "gimme ur phone number ok". Even fewer will see it as a mass insult, which would be ok, maybe one or two will say something funny, you can never know.

Slaphappy and I got so bored with the monothematic emails of this particular lad we started to put song-lyrics into emails. SH then sends lyrics only, whileas I still try to make them sound like a normal email. Maybe they generally must be changed this way.

A romance chat can be done quite well with lyrics a la "I want to hold your hand" and "Stand by your man".

I´ll try some 100 tomorrow from a new baiting character with "I Am The Walrus" (which I know only as a Beatles-title).

You could try this, too, and then we compare the musicality of our random lads.

If you mail a random choice of the last page of the Lad Mass Insult Thread, a great proportion will reply but there are many among them who will think this is a new format Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

Oops! It is the Beatles. I've just been listening to Styx all day. Laughing

I like the idea of fitting lyrics or song titles into a normal sounding email. I think I'm going to try writing whole e-mails with nothing but lines from songs.

ex:

"Hello.

How are you? I'm alive and kicking. It's four in the morning and I'm hungry like a wolf. I confess, I know there's something going on...
Johnny, are you queer?"

How many song titles can you spot? Razz

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:32 am

Working lyrics into a normal email would get more responses, no question about that. But with Reven Usman, I fear that Emil just doesn't care about him enough to take any more time for that. Emil's boat sailed away with Wooden Ships. Laughing

Maybe a gem of a lad will appear on the distant shore. Smile

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:02 am

Quote:

subject line: I have the money soon ready - one vital question !! Hello Sir - I received your email!

Just quickly, I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying. Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday. Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long. I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Western Union, is it necessary? Mister city policeman sitting Pretty little policemen in a row. See how they fly like lucy in the sky, see how they run. I'm crying, I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying.

Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down. Sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun.
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?

Advice!!!!

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

I love how you incorporate the information in with the nonsense. Let us know if they respond.

Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:09 pm

A classic reply reads like this :

Quote:

From: [email protected]
IP: 41.221.171.160
Subject: I have the money soon ready - one vital question !!

I don't getr you clear.can you be specific.

Ok...this is no good for a fun mass mail approach. You need a hooked lad who "likes to talk".

One baiter replied, too. Ahem. If you read this, hi.

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

^^ I totally agree.

I do have a lad that I think it could work with. She is a love lad. Any song suggestions?

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