M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:50 pm

Got 2 replay mails, was already wondering what the hell the talking about... Question

Nice done Frumpy Very Happy

Quote:

Hello Sir J0hn B0sh,

Please forgive me for not showing any apology to you. i am very sorry.

Thanks,

Ub4h 3r1c Il0b4.

And a very long replay from Mr. TG

Quote:

Dear Mr.B0sh,

It is unfortunate that i receive such a letter from you, been a man i hold to high esteem, whom i respect and whom i called my friend and working colleque

I complain to you the reason why i did not come up with the assignment, i am over here working my finger to the bone to make sure that i keep my workers from breaking out due to unable to pay them for two months now, just to keep them together so that we will be giving the industry our maximum assistance in any assignment given to me to do.

There is no way i only can handle things here without my clues.

I am sorry if you understand me in different direction, but you as a human being you have to consider my plight,know that the first assignment i was given to do, remember that i did not delay in finishing it and sending it to the industry.

You are a man like me, may be you a older than me,just imagine or put your self in my shoe facing a critical time and the company you are doing every to prove your accurancy,just sent you this type of letter you send me,how are you going to feel knowing that you believe in what you can do, and that what happen is not entire your fault.

We all are humans and no man is an iland.

I believe in my self and i know that i will contribute a lot to the upliftment of M00s3kuncl3 m0del1ng industry, all i need is support to put my self together, even the player they will only perform well in field of play if they are well taken care of, but that not withstandstanding.

I know that for me not doing the assignment have cause the industry alot, but i promise to make up, just consider me and the predicament i am going through right now, terminating my appointment or further work with M00s3kuncl3 m0d3l1ng c0mpany will never do any good to you, you complain that i did not even sent apology letter for not failling to meet up with the dead line of the assignment, i am sorry if that is the case.

I here by apologize on behalf of my self and my entire staffs, i am sorry for what ever that might cause the company, i promise to make it up in rare future.

I my self really felt bad for not coming up with the assignment, because i know how Mr.R4nd3II Oldm4n believe in me, which i promise him that i will always make him to be proud of me.

As a friend and a fellow colleagues i plead with you to consider me ok.

Thank for your understanding and total supportive.

May God Continue to strengthen you.

Regards,
ThankG Ob1nn4.O.

PLS:
Please i will appreciate if you send me a mail to tell me that you are not disappointed in me, because the word hurt me

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:38 am

@Mister X - Since you were gone, Frumpy and I (mostly Frumpy) decided to end the four bois employment at MM, much to my delight! Laughing

We were really getting sick of those lads, to the point of Frumpy almost committing the unthinkable...yes! That!!
Abandoning the MM bait! What the blazes??!!
Now, they only have their past salaries that are floating around, some are stuck in Customs in Cotonou, and TG's is somewhere else. Now, they must go and pick them up, dragging their tails between their legs in embarrassment, for a job poorly done (not done at all!!) Laughing

These emails are pure music to my ears! After they attempt, (or not), to retrieve their payments, the payments will end up somewhere else!! Check with Frumpy or me tomorrow for the super-secret locations!! It's sure to bring added joy to their pitiful lives! OOOO! Yes, I'm excited. Can't you tell?? Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:38 am

Hehehe^^

Ubah is already in direct contact with the A55 service, having read what is happening. The other two are clueless still, Blah thankfully informed them of the "problem" but no funny replies yet, so how about a wakeup call for Lucky and, most of all, JohnK?

Ubah asks Randy in bold letters "CAN THIS BE TRUE?":

Quote:

Hello Randy,

This is what i received from the 55 about my Package. can this be true.

Yes, it can. Randy is happy that the transfer went quicker than originally thought, and replied :

Quote:

Hi, Ubah,

I´m happy to read you have received the money. Collect it on Monday. Until then, I wish you a recreational weekend. I´ll be dealing with better assignments in the Nigeria area from next week on.

Best wishes, Randy

So would Pat mind to call JohnK and perhaps Lucky soon on this Saturday so that they can get accustomed to the idea that they need their walking shoes?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:08 pm

Loverboi Mike decided to spend his own cash on phone calls, and he called Pat two times this morning, as I was still sleeping.
Laughing

http://www.4shared.com/file/114441272/8f1d30e8/call01june27th.html

http://www.4shared.com/file/114441258/5dfebb74/call02june27th.html

Pat will make him suffer in silence for the day. She doesn't like demanding, pestering, and insincere lovers. He will have a chance to prove his love in a day or two.
Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:09 pm

Nice

the second call sounds like an accoustically recorded phonograph record.

Thankgod is still in great mood - his parcel will be delayed on Monday I think. The Prudent1al modality...

Quote:

Dear Mr.R O,

Thank you for your wonderful mail that you sent to me.

I will say i am very lucky enough to come in contact with you, because to be sincere you have been giving me a lot of hopes,that i will be famous in life, through your words of encouragement which you always drop to me when i really need it most.

I know i own you a lot, but don't worry i will definitly pay my debts to you for been supportive.

For now the only thing i think i have that i will give you undiluted,is been faithful and hardworking together with a bunch of thanks.

I pray that GOD will always favor you in your every day activities.

I wish you a good memorable weekend.Bye for now

Yours sincerely,
ThankGod O.O.

Well, indeed I like him - this is the first lad email this week that has not been totally focussed on the arrival of the money parcel but instead giving me some moral baiting support Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:03 pm

Mike called Pat two more times, once from a buddie's phone, hoping that Pat would pick up. He left no messages. Mike can't get no satisfaction. No no no. Hey hey hey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MejtR81RzCo
Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:23 pm

Last mails from Lucky U:

Quote:

Dear J0hn B0sh,

Well you will get the job on Wednesday 1st of July 2009.I have concluded the arrangement and the models will be in the studio on Tuesday to take the photos. So you will get it on Wednesday, I hope it not late by Wednesday.

I wonder what I have done wrong. You told me you need to have this assignment of 21st July 2009 and I am using my money to gather these models which we have agreed on a date which on 30th June 2009.Even the money you said sent to me by AIIst4r sh1pping company have not been received, according to the information from the AIIst4r sh1pping that the receiver should contact the shipping office immediately. I remember asking you if the company have office address in Nigeria and you said no. I wonder how I will contact them when they do not have office here in Lagos.

I don’t really understand the whole arrangement. I was hoping base on the information you gave me that the shipping company will deliver the package to my address as you rightly mentioned in one of your mails.

I hope sending the T3l3tubb13s photos on Wednesday will not be late.

Regards,
Lucky U

5 min later i got this mail:

Quote:

From: Support Systems <[email protected]>
Subject: REF: Your AIIst4r delivery.
To: lunk3m1ntern4tion4....
Date: Friday, 26 June, 2009, 7:34 PM

Dear Sir,

It has come to our attention that an issue has arisen with your parcel(s).
Apparently during a routine x-ray scan, a high level readout of lead
was detected in your parcel(s) and it was pulled off the processing
line as a result of this.

Packages containing lead are not in any way illegal to transport,
however, the Nigerian government asks that we investigate all packages
containing lead in order to rule out the transport of nuclear arms,
components, or waste. As I am sure you know, lead is a common metal
used to contain radioactive substances.

The packages are being contained at our facility in C0t0n0u city.

Kindest regards.

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:36 pm

New lads come and go. Meet Rev. (!) Teddy Johnson from the Canadian Lottery (!):

Quote:

Dear OLD MAN

This is the application form.

Quote:

Dear OLD MAN

This is the application form. how do i get my money to start working with you

Thanks

Quote:

Dear OLD MAN

Dear old man ,

i hav complete the application as you instruct me to do
and im waiting for the agent fee 7000$ to enable me forward
10good modeler to you in any position of nude .

Thanks

Quote:

This is copy of my application , how do i get my 7000$

You see how focussed he is on work and art for the art´s sake, and unpaid dedication Wink

Pages 3 and 7 missing. All are in a ridiculously large TIF-Format! And two of the above were disliked by PostImage. You´ll have to pay for that, lad Evil or Very Mad

Look at his favourite school subjects :
1. English, 2. Sports, 3. Reading, 4. Show, 5. Party I want to work in that school Shocked

Reply sent:

Quote:

Dear. Mr. Johnson,

We need page 1 redone - it´s unreadable.

Pages 3 and 7 are missing. Please resend.

We are sure you will be a valuable asset fo M M.

--
Faithfully yours, R. O

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 5:06 pm

A small replay mail from JB:

Quote:

Hello Mister Luck U,

This below email i got from you was adressed to your mailadress,
and as i can read in the letter its private information for yourself.

So why do you send it forward to my adress?
I hope you think that i can help you out with this minor problem
of the postal investigation at the postoffice in that city.
From the time i sended the post pakkage to the Sch1ph0l A1rp0rt,
i can do nothing.. Its all in the hands off the shipping company.

My consurn is that i get this private mail from you Mr. Lucky, what
private information will you send next??
Iam so happy that i did not send you other clasified company information
to you, i did surly thought you was a trusted friend...
But guess i have mistaken my big time in you Mr. Lucky.

I hope for you that i not need to keep an eye over your shoulder every time when your
sending out private info to other people that are not from the MM company.

And comming back on the T3ll3Tubb13s assignment:
Yes the last date the photo(s) needed to send to me was the 21 July 2oo9,
if you just had send me an replay back in time before that date i could have talked to the
costumer if it was oke by him if the deadline could be put a fuw days later...
To give you some extra time, but you did not send me that mail...
So now i dont need those photos from you anymore...
Thats business, the prio no 1 is always keep the deadline in your mind.

As i did mailed you in previous emails, sorry about the harsh language, but i was
very pissed about you for not getting the photos in time at my email adress.
It was our luck at MM that we never put all our money on one assignment.
You was one off the 4 teams that did this same T3ll3Tubb13s assignment, and
at the end we had to remove 3 teams from the MM company list.

Good Luck and God Bless to you and your team Mr. Lucky

Best regards,
J0hn B0sh

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 5:08 pm

Its oke SlapHappy and Frumpy, I @ MM have no secrets in the mailbox Rolling Eyes

SlapHappy wrote:

@Mister X - Since you were gone, Frumpy and I (mostly Frumpy) decided to end the four bois employment at MM, much to my delight! Laughing

We were really getting sick of those lads, to the point of Frumpy almost committing the unthinkable...yes! That!!<snip>

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:39 pm

Email from Ubah, same as fom Lucky : To "daddy" he forwarded the email from the "headmaster":

Quote:

I AM YET TO RECEIVE MY MONEY/THIS IS THE EMAIL I RECEIVED FROM A55
+ same text as above

You got to move, you got to move, you got to move child, you got to move (to follow SlapHappy´s Stones reference, although this one is in fact by Fred McDowell).

EDIT Sunday at noon.

JohnK, too, is obviously in an engaged conversation with Blah. Great Very Happy

Rev. Teddy Johnson, before Sunday service (for the Canadian Lotto), managed to do the missing 3 pages. There he gives away his real name as Charles Fred Edward Emeka...and also an "Emmy"-character of his.

Now I need to make him sign mewing_ghecko´s employment contract, which states "money only in cash during a meeting" Twisted Evil

EDIT Done.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Teddy Emeka,

Thanks. That´s what was missing.

I´ll have to talk a final word with Pat and John on our meeting Monday morning but I think we will accept you and be welcoming you in your team!

So let me send you the final document, the employment contract.

Once I have received it back with your signature, we will talk about assignments.

Payments for any assignment are done once a quarter, favorably in cash United States Dollars. We will also be planning a meeting with you and a few other regional agents in your home town at a hotel of our choice, to give you the salary and the amount you, as an agent, have to give to your model(s), PLUS a fixed amount of $ 5,000 for high-end photography equipment to be ourchased by the photographer of your choice.

I hope this has settled the questions for now.

Regards, RandaII

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:23 am

The last replay from Mr. Lucky..

Quote:

Dear J0hn B0sh,

I never wanted to reply this mail but let me give you my last word. I am very disappointed with you for the fact that you can sit down and sent this mail to me. Do you think I’m fool? I have a better think to use my time and the little money that I have putting to this useless of business. I was thinking that I am dealing people that genuine.

You claimed that you sent a package to me that contain money and got information from them, I passed it across to you the sender and you are telling me nonsense. How do you expect me to believe you? I have had enough insult from this business. I think is time for me to quit, you and your company can as have whatever fortune you think I’m going to make from your company.

I was expecting you to apologize for what happen and look for a way to sort it out. You even have the mind to send such embarrassing mail to me. I told you to send the money to my company bank account, you were giving useless reasons that I still don’t understand up still this moment, when you know the advance method of sending money through bank. I wonder the other classified company information wanted to send to me that you think will make me feel on top of the world. I do not need such from company that is not reliable like yours. Keep the information to yourself. This statement should go to you and not me, I did surly thought you was a trusted friend, I can see that you people are not trustworthy.

Well the issue of T3ll3 Tubb13s assignment is cancelled for now. I know I have spent money to invite the models but I don’t care, I rather waste the money than to continue wasting my time with you people. You have other agent in Africa who probably make a living from your business, you can use than to get you want, I will not be part of such agent, I can put that time to my business here in Nigeria.

Good luck to your business.

Lucky U

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:10 pm

Tell him we have enough of his feeble excuses. The money that you have given him outside of the signed employment contract with MM will be lying in Cotonou until he collects it until next Friday for him to take it (airport´s postal counter, ID required). You´ll log into the A55 site next Friday - if you see it´s still uncollected, you are going to withdraw it out off Africa, for a loss of 40%.
How about this for a reply draft?
Tell him his failure on a simple assignment lost you a 150,000 $ dollar input that you were doing n behalf of the company MM, and it´s his fault. As a matter of fact, He can be "lucky" that you do not sue HIM to get it back, because it was all his team´s fault!
So unless he collects it, to show he is serious with working with an US company, threatnen to sue him...you´ll wait til next Friday and check the shipping service´s site daily Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 1:22 pm

@Frumpy:

Its done i have used your hints in the mail i did just sent to Mr. Lucky,
sorry i just coulnd resist to add some extra stuff to the mail so that he will go sure for the money collection...

Quote:

Dear Lucky U,

Just a note from my side on your email you sended to me yesterday.

We at MM had enough of your freeble excusses not to get the assignments ready in time, even after that we have given you many changes toget it fixed.
The money that i had given you outside of the signed employment contract with MM will be lying in C0t0n0u until you collects it until next Friday.
An ID is reqested to get that money free (airport´s postal counter, ID required).

I will personal keep an eye on the AIIs4ar Sh1pping Comp4ny on next Friday, if i see it's still uncollected at that day i
will withdraw it out off Africa even if i will loss 4o% off the money for the withdrawfee.

Your failure on a simple assignment lost me a 150,0o0 $ dollar input that i was doing on behalf of the company MM, and it´s your fault.
As a matter of fact, you can be "lucky" that i did not sue you to get it back, because it was all yours team´s fault!

So unless you collects it, to show that your still serious to working with an US company.
I will not sent that Nigeri4n court order to your home or business adress that you have given us.
Also we as MM can always ask the Nigerian court to claim that your business bank account will be confiscated.
Never forget that MM has many high level friends in governments around the world.

I´ll wait til next Friday and check the sh1pp1ng service´s site daily.

Best regards,
J0hn B0sh

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 1:55 pm

Lucky is not the type to let someone have the last word. I can't wait for his next explosion. It will be a doozy! Laughing

Update: Mike just called Pat's line 2 more times today so far. Oh, the agony! She was at the pool with Ralph, and couldn't be bothered. Smile

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:56 pm

As SH mention it.. he needs to have the last words... His replay..

Quote:

Dear J0hn B0sh,

You and your so call company have a very bad attitude, I don’t do business with such people and unstill you apologize for your rudely behavior and get things straight, then I will think of continuing the business with you and your company.

If you are going to loss 40% of the money by calling back, I have lost a lot from you peoples disappointment, after I have sent you the first photos you requested with the colors you asked for and next report was that the picture are beautiful but it is useless because it was not what your client wants.

I wonder how it is my fault with my team when your fail to meet up your promise and the obligation. I am always serious with my part of the assignment, when you lean how attend to people then we can get down to business.

I don’t have any fear going to court your company if you wish to take the matter to court. I know with fact, I am covered. You can go ahead and ask the Nigerian court to claim that my business bank account will be confiscated. Is that a trait?
Have many high level friends in governments around the world. is not an issue. That choose to be one of your agent in Nigeria does not mean I’m ordinary person, it is the passion I have for the business, I think I have mentioned before to you. Whatever you decide to do, you are free to do so. If you want to know more about me, contact Nigeria chamber of commerce and industry and make a search of LUNK3M 1NT’7 7TD which I am the CEO.Find out what my company deals on.

Always lean how to approach people with you deal with if you really wants to be a successful businessman. Still stand on my words.

Regards,
Lucky U

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:04 pm

Reason for this is, Dan called him as call center agent and that make Lucky really angry Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:26 am

I fell asleep during the end of the show, when Lucky rattled off all his complaints to Dan, the A. S. S. customer rep. Embarassed

I knew I shouldn't have laid down on that comfy couch! Smile

I listened to the podcast last night, and the audio was a bit broken up, so I'm asking Dan if he has a better recording of it. It was pretty funny stuff. Laughing

It looks like Lucky doesn't realize he's totally fired, and there is no more future for him and Moosechuckle Modeling.

Quote:

I will think of continuing the business with you and your company.

when you lean how attend to people then we can get down to business.

it is the passion I have for the business

Why is it always so hard to fire a lad? I guess we hooked him too deeply. We'll have to refocus his energies on picking up his cash in Cotonou. He just doesn't get it! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:56 am

Ubah wrote:

Hello randy,

I write to inform you that i am yet to receive possitive respond from A55,

Thanks,

Ubah E I

Quote:

Hello randy,

Please could tell me what kind of mental did you put inside the parcel that will make the parcel to ceased. i you sure this people are real.

Thanks,

Ubah E I.

Huh?

He means "metal"...that made the customs x-ray machine go "ring"

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:22 pm

Quote:

Dear Emily

thanks for your efforts, please attach is my picture holding sign of the total forms

thanks while await to hear from you

Best Regards.

Ben

Benjamin

I hope you are well. I am sorry for the delay in my reply. We have been busy meeting with many possible new clients. Many around the office believe 2009 will be one of our busiest years. This is a good thing for our agents.

Please be advised that I have received the security validation photo and will bring it to our security manager. I will inform you when I will be shipping your new Identification.

Emily

he also replies to Jeremy

Quote:

Dear Jeremy.

please i accept my apology by not sending the pictures today, there is heavy rain here and it disturb people going out please i promised from now to Monday i will send the three picture to you for sure please accept my apology my Brother.

thanks and best regards.

Ben

Quote:

Dear Mr. Jeremy

please forgive for the delay of sending the required pictures this one of the picture.

Benjamin

I think the pictures he sent are real, just not sure what they are to represent? they meet none of the client requirements.

Quote:

Dear Jeremy,

by tomorrow i will send you the remaining pic.

Benjamin

Benjamin

Thank you for your email. I received the pictures you sent to me but I am curious what am I to do with them? Did you understand the client requirements i sent you? the woman in these pictures are very beautiful and would be good for our clients, but none of the pictures meet the requirements i sent to you.

Jeremy

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:19 pm

nicely done MG Very Happy

and another IDiot to the MM firm Wink

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:28 am

Beautiful

I like how, just by the way, he appears to show off with his techie status symbols that just happen to be draped around his family.

News from Ubah, after his 13th email to poor Blah, he sends me this:

Quote:

DO NOT PLAY ME GAME

Hello randy and his group,

Thanks for your game.

Thanks,

Ubah E I.

After having watched a few lessons in social engineering as taught by Groucho Marx and, yes , Top Cat, I felt strong enough to write something:

Quote:

Dear Ubah,

Why don´t you simply collect it? It is waiting for you.
The A55 people ask me if you are a serious customer since you seem to deny to receive my parcel. I told them that Ubah E. I is a modeling agent of us and a valuable asset.
Go to Cotonou Airport, parcel station, and collect it!

It´s important you get money for the July assignments to come.

Best wishes, Randy

And also time for a little surprise for ThankGod :

Quote:

Delivery Date: 06-29-2009
Status: Quarantined
Message: To be collected at . Personal ID required only.

In the past, quite a number of lads have earned some members a

there

EIT Tuesday morning. Ubah gets nostalgic:

Quote:

Hello randy, If the parcel can not get to my delivery address then you people never send any thing to me. or have you forgot how i spent money and time last time in Benin but never see any of you. I know understand what you people are up to. Bye and your parcel

No, I have not but but it´s nice of you to remember me. And I think you understand nothing. You are plain lazy, and nostalgic.

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:01 pm

A petty problem, for all the ones using the Prudent1al Modality, our latest corresponent brings sad (for us) news:

ThankGod wrote:

Thanks
Dear Randall,

Up till now i have not collected or receive the parcel yet.

I track the status of the parcel this morning and confirm it have reach here in Ghana, and in the message with it, it stated that i go to prudentiaI bank accra Ghana and meet One Mr.L4rbi so that he will deliver it to me, but when i went i was told that there is no body with such name in the bank.

I wonder why the parcel did not come through the postal address i sent you, why should it be bank and at the same time the person mention to hand it over to me is not known there in the bank.

Do you use my name in sending the parcel?.
From were do you send it from?

Please can you contact the shipping company and intimate them about this, i am confuse.
Thank you for your understanding.

May GOD be with you.

Yours Sincerely,
ThankGod OO

If this is no lie, then one good and potential arrest spot less in ladland Sad

This is what he writes to the shipping company:

Quote:

Dear sir,

A parcel was sent to me from USA through your company and it suppose to be here in my country on 29th June 2009, but this morning i track it again and confirm that it have reach Ghana, my surprise is that i was directed to go to prudentiaI bank here in Accra Ghana, and i went but was told that the person i was directed to meet to release the parcel to me,they say that there is no body bearing such name.

I want to know what is really the cause, why should the parcel live my postal address that the person that sent the parcel to me,and i was told to collect it in a bank, which i went and was told there is no body bearing such name(Mr.L4rbi)

My tracking number is
Please kindly explain what is wrong to me.

Regards,
Mr.ThankGod OO

It seems Mr. L4rbi has left the bank since autumn 2007 ?

Now what to do with TG? Maybe they sent it to Togo? But for which reason? I don´t know what to write him yet.

Sending the parcel to Kumasi?

Any ideas?

Giving him Mr. L4rbi´s RL phone number would hurt the ITP role....

EDIT Slaphappy, I logged into Pat´s account and wrote him the following:

Quote:

Why didn´t you take it?
Dear Mr. Thankgod O O,

When being asked on your behalf, A55 tell me they couldn´t deliver it to your house address. Now they are returning it to the sender!Was your address absolutely correct, Sir? Haven´t you been at home on Monday?

Please kindly explain. Randy is devastated about this, he ordered me to help you receiving the funding for future events and assignments and now we get to know you have not collected the parcel neither accepted it at your house?

Respectfully, P C

It´s better that Pat is the one to deliver the crazy news rather than Randy the good guy. It´s a cheap tactic to yell at the lad accusing him but might for work. he needs some action right now before he comes to think too much, so I had to 4ct f4st (arrgh!) and Pat´s inexcusable behaviour of sleeping at 4 a.m. once again today when other M00sies are hard at work will surely have consequences Very Happy

The parcel is returning to sender but currently put on hold at Kumasi Airport. So maybe Randy´s arm is strong enough to keep it there for easy collection?

EDIT Current status : All quarantined at Cotonou, except Thankgod´s, which is returned to sender. Atm in Kumasi.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:11 pm

@Frumpy - I'm sorry. I will try to be awake at 3AM next time. Or maybe I will shift my waking hours 6 hours ahead, and live in German time? Will this mean i will have to learn German, too? I am willing to learn, mein herr! Wink

No more arrests at PruBank? grrr! We will have to find another hardass banker then. If anyone out there comes across one who likes to arrest lads, please post up the bank in Hints, Help, and Tips forum, so it's behind the login.

Pat finally decided to write back to Mike, as he didn't call her today. I guess he learned his lesson that he cannot force Pat to talk to him, and she has control over their phone conversations. He is really not going to like her email, but if he truly loves her (and the money and gifts she has for him), he will do exactly as she says. This guy is such a male chauvanist pig, Pat enjoyed writing this to him. Very Happy

Quote:

Well, well Mike,

I have not forgotten you. I wanted to get all my thoughts together and not be sweet-talked into something less than what I need from you to show me that you are sincere in your proclaimed love for me. So, here is the deal. You do all these things for me, without one single complaint or one single excuse, exactly the way I want it. Then I'll reconsider inviting you up here to see me and give you all your stuff I bought you. Your salary from Moosechuckle M0deling is still locked up in the safe here and you can pick that up too.

I might even be convinced to give you the chance to be the head of the Nigeria office, as John has proven himself to be very unreliable by missing the Teletubbies Project deadline. I heard that all he did was make excuses, so Randy sacked him. He also sacked three other agents who promised to work on the project, but they sat there and did nothing for two weeks. They missed the deadline as well. We lost the client, so they were fired, and rightly so. Now they are bitching and complaining about picking up their past due salaries for their previous work, and begging to come back to Moosechuckle. Good riddance, I say! Those four were nothing but trouble, and had to be hounded constantly to get any work out of them. And they had absolutely no concept of deadlines. They thought when we said that we needed something by Monday that Friday was ok. No! Friday is NOT ok! Monday is OK!!! Then, they needed to be reminded on a daily basis to get the work in to us. They were like little children or lizards who saw a shiny object in the way they got themselves off track with their work. I think training a green lizard to do a job would be easier than waiting for them to complete a project. I don't think you could possibly be as lazy and stupid as those guys we fired, Mike.

First of all, you will need a video camera or a digital camera with video capabilities. Most of the digital cameras can do video too. The videos must be at least 640x480 resolution. I don't want tiny 320x240 videos. I must see what you are doing very clearly. Don't use a cellphone to do the videos, because they take crappy videos. If you send me fuzzy tiny crap, I will know that you are not serious about me. A real man will do it right and not attempt to get out of it or try to fool me into thinking that he really did what I'm going to ask you to do.

Mike, please note: You will not be able to send me the videos via email! The files will be too large to attach. Anything over 10MB will be rejected. Do not try to send them via email.
So, if the videos are less than 2GB each, you can open an account at http://megaupload.com and upload them there, then send me the links to the videos you made.

Ok, here are the three things I want you to do for me, Mike. They are actions and not just empty words of love copied from the internet.

Number One: I want a video apology. When you take this video, you will be on your knees when you say these words to me. You will recite this apology word for word. If you want to add anything to the end of the video that you feel you should apologize for, please feel free to do so.

"I, Michael, am sorry for leaving you, Pat, in Cotonou when there was a madman on the loose following you. I did not follow your direction to stay in Cotonou for one more day when you told me to and I told you that I would stay. Instead of staying until you were safely away from this man, I ran home to my Mommy. I acted like a child, and not a man on that day. I was not a hero Mike at all, but a little scared child Mike. I abandoned you in your time of need, only thinking of my selfish self.

I, Michael, want to apologize to En1tan too. I accused En1tan of being an evil juju man, who was out to take advantage of you, Pat. I was wrong to say that he was going to put a spell on you and steal your money. I thought bad things of my brother who I have not even met. En1tan is not evil but a good Samaritan and I am sorry that I accused him of these things. En1tan is a better man than I am and he is a fine example for other men to follow.

I, Michael, am sorry for the bad things I said and did to the Moosechuckle M0deling company. I threatened them with a lawsuit and vowed to bring down the wall of Moosechuckle M0deling in five days time. I also tried to talk my brother into bringing action against Moosechuckle M0deling. These actions were wrong of me to do. It was all my fault that I didn't pickup my salary in Cotonou as the company sent the money there for me. I left against Pat's wishes and I have nobody to blame but myself for not picking up my money there. I absolve Moosechuckle M0deling of any liabilities regarding the payment of my salary as I failed to follow directions from a company employee. And so I was wrong to threaten and badmouth the company as it was all my fault.

I, Michael, want to especially apologize to R@ndy 0ldm@n for all my actions. I have caused him much grief, lost sleep, anger, and depression over my foolish actions. I'm sorry that I have pushed you near the brink of leaving the company, Randy. I'm sorry if my actions have affected you in any other negative way. I am a dummkopf."

Number Two: I want a video love song, Mike. You said you wanted to teach me a song when we spoke last on the phone.. You also told me you were a good dancer, too. So, I want you to perform the song, "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. Sing the song, with or without music, and dance along to it. Make a video of it, and upload it to megaupload.com Then, send me the link to your performance. If you want to sing and perform the song that you had in mind for me, you can do that one too. But I still want the Billie Jean video. Mike.

Number Three: I want you to give me the ultimate devotion and get a tattoo on your upper arm or your chest. The tattoo will be a large red heart with a black arrow through it. The tattoo must be at least 7 inches long by 7 inches wide. That is 18cm long by 18cm wide. Inside the heart, written in black will be the words, "Mike And Pat Forever"
You must make a video of yourself getting the tattoo in the tattoo shop from start to finish. The video must show your face clearly so that I know that it is you getting the tattoo, and not someone you paid to get it instead. The video must be uploaded to megaupload.com and you must send me the link to the video(s). I know this might take a long time, so you can split it up so that each part is less than 2GB and able to be uploaded.

Mike, do all of these three little things without complaints or excuses and I'll know that you are a man worthy of my love and devotion. A man who is not too pigheaded to apologize for his transgressions, a man who is not to shy to sing and dance love songs to his lover, and a man devoted enough to his lover that he will endure pain and carry a lasting mark of his love for her on his body. Once you do these things, we will meet, you will receive what's coming to you, and we shall consummate our love.

I will anxiously await your reply,

Pat

Any bets on whether I get any videos? Laughing

If you are right, you can take your winnings from Mike's trunkbox.
In any event, it will annoy the shit out of him, especially coming from a woman. Very Happy

Edit: Frumpy has indeed been under a lot of stress by these damn Moosies.

Quote:

Frumpy: [12:42:16 PM] Blah writes back. ok...TG´s arcel, Randy managed to stop it on Kumasi airport!
[12:42:20 PM] Frumpy: it was already on the way home
[12:42:30 PM] SH: ok...
[12:42:58 PM] SH: do you want to call TG and bug him to go get it, and hear the whining...
[12:43:48 PM] Frumpy: .... no. I don´t want to invest too much brain into baiting any more Very Happy

I don´t have any!
[12:44:31 PM] SH: what?? no baiting brain left!! you have been drained dry by these damn Moosies!!???
[12:44:46 PM] Frumpy: yessah
[12:46:03 PM] SH: I'm going to sue them, And put out a warning thread on Eater about these brain suckers!! Maybe it's their juju of revenge on MM!!!
[12:46:40 PM] Frumpy: yes Very Happy

[12:47:02 PM] SH: ok, I will go warn the others now.
[12:47:21 PM] SH: go get a cold drink...and put your head back for 10 minutes.
[12:49:05 PM] Frumpy: ? eating besides
[12:49:53 PM] SH: that would be good for your brain Frumpy. You do that. Eat some fish.
[12:53:15 PM] Frumpy: haha camembert here
[12:53:29 PM] SH: great..

I hope he snaps out of it soon. Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:55 pm

Update! on a whiny [email protected] writes to Pat and Pat replies.

Quote:

from th@nkG0d
to Patricia
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 11:24 PM
subject I don't understand

Good day Patricia,
Below is the letter sent to me by @llstars shipping company,
I don't really understand any more.
Please help me by sending the mobile number of Mr.R@ndall 0ldm@n.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Ob1nn@,

First off I would like to apologize on behalf of @llstar Shipping for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Your parcel was pulled off the line due to the discovery of foreign currency within the package. Now whereas there were no Ghanian laws broken due to this, it is strictly against @llstar's policies to mail undeclared monies via our Shipping services.

When this discrepancy was discovered, we transferred your parcel to the Prud3ntial B@nk in Makol@ market strictly for security purposes, as @llstar's own storage facilities are ill-equipped to handle such contents.

I will locate the courier and find if the parcel has in fact, been transferred already to Prud3ntial. It may be that they have not yet processed the temporary lock-box that contains your parcel.

Kindest regards.

========
Dear Mr. 0b1nna,

I believe the parcel has been recalled to the shipper, Mr. 0ldm@n, but he was able to stop the parcel in Kumasi. It is waiting for you there at the postal counter at Kumasi Airport. Please bring an ID with you in order to receive the parcel. I believe the @llstar tracking reflects the change in the parcel's location. It will held there for a few days, giving you time to go and pick it up there. I'm sorry for the confusion, but Mr. 0ldm@n did not realize the shipping rules forbid shipping currency through the courier company. I hope this doesn't cause any further heartache for you.
The parcel with the cash inside is with the postal desk at the airport in Kumasi right now. You may go pick it up at any time now.

Warmest Regards,
Pat

Hoping TG makes the trip. But for only $250, it's not real likely. Depends on how desperate he is now, I guess. It's always worth a shot. You just never know. Very Happy

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