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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:12 pm

This new governor of CBN has repeatedly called the number of a lotto lad, thinking it is his maga "Wats0n M0llett" (me):

Quote:

You were the one that insisted i must call you on phone for us to discuss how you are to send the $5000. I have severally called you today and each time you are either answering and dropping the call or putting your phone on answering machine.

Its unfortunate.

It's also unfortunate that he gave me his bank details which I sent to Alan. Very Happy

I wouldn't have done anything less for "Old Chuckie". Welcome to Eater, Mr. S4nusi!!!

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:25 pm

Put the piggy in your siggy, Tuco! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:35 pm

Wats0n is obviously busy on the phone and doesn't like the flow of incoming calls Laughing

This just in my Wats0n account:

Quote:

my Doctor told me that he sent you an email and he also called you on Phone after Sending an email to you, But you did not respond to him and you also bounced the phone on him when he called, Please my dear kindly respond to my Doctor to the mail he sent to you,Also try to Comply with him once he called you on phone because he told me that he is not Happy the way you talked to you on the¨Phone.

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:57 pm

This is Wats0n's persona as Mr. S4nusi knows him:

Quote:

Thank you very much for your prompt reply and the important information that you provided.

The necessary information that you need to proceed is as follows:

Full Name: Watson Seymour M0llett III
Sex: Male
Age: 57
Marital Status: Divorced
Employer: ZSL London Zoo
Occupation: Groundhog Trainer
Mailing Address: 4A ST. GEORGES SQUARE
PORTSMOUTH, LONDON, Po1 3AX
Tel: +44 7035 92 180O
Fax: +44 8704 79 50O4
Nationality: United Kingdom

I hope that the attached id card will suffice as not everyone has a driver's license or passport.

If you called yesterday and couldn't get through, please call again in the morning.
Thank you again so very much.

Wats0n's sincere apology about the phone call problems:

Quote:

Dear Mr. S4nusi:

Please accept my sincere apologies for the unexcuseable behavior of my junior trainer over the phone today. It has been pandemonium beyond description here today at the London zoo's groundhog grotto. Three of our female groundhogs, specimens in the prime of their lives, were ravaged by a rapacious terrier which had broken free from its master, a very distinguished lady visitor.

It seems that the terrier had caught the scent of a grey wolf bitch in heat in the adjacent pen and, because of the wind direction, mistook my lady groundhogs as the target of his sudden affections. I have warned the board of directors over and over NOT to locate the grey wolves next to my groundhogs for this very reason but they would not listen. The first of your phone calls must have come in during the height of this crisis, the rest came in during the aftermath.

The distinguished lady visitor fainted upon the sight of her terrier mounting the first groundhog. That is just as well as both the terrier and the groundhog began squealing, we are not sure whether from pain or delight (they have no way of telling you). Our unsuccessful attempts to separate them physically resulted in numerous bites, bruises and abrasions to three of us. Taking advantage of our exhausted condition, the terrier went on to violate two more of my precious little girls, as I call them. All three of them are in the veterinary infirmary and will be kept under observation the rest of the week. I will have a lot of paperwork to attend to in the morning reporting this incident to my superiors and to our cooperate legal team.

All that having been said, I have received your bank details and should be able to attend to the $5,000.00 wire transfer later tomorrow. Again, please accept my apologies on behalf of my junior trainer. He is still in the hospital emergency room, although we expect him to be discharged later tonight.

Regards,

Wats0n

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:42 am

Quote:

Dear Mr.M0llet,

I, accept your sincere apologies in good faith, and at the same time, wish to say sorry from the bottom of heart concerning the sad and ugly development that took place in your zoo yesterday. I hope the affected victims did received adequate medical attention immediately.

Yes, the lawyer sent the account yesterday which i sent to you and called you severally but to no avail. All you need to do is take it to your bank and instruct them to transfer the $5000 into that account. Soon as you do this today, scan the transfer slip and send to me immediately.

This is a transaction that would have been successfully concluded before now. Nevertheless, i look forward to receiving the remittance slip to enable the attorney obtain the drug, money laundry and free certificate for us to dispatch Payment Advice to our correspondent bank to contact you immediately for the funds release. This is my prime concern.

Yours-in-service,

Governor S4nusi

Governor, CBN.

Chuckie's successor is off to a great start. This one is definitely a keeper.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:26 pm

Great stuff, Tuco. Laughing

The new "Governor" you have looks like some real fun. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:03 pm

Interesting how the sympathy from the bottom of his heart quickly turns to irritation:

Quote:

What are we suffering from this time around? (Sounds like an Eater vic?)

Have you not been able to transfer the money as instructed?

I wait for the remittance slip.

Yours-in-service,

Governor S4nusi.
CBN, Governor.

Wats0n replies late in the day:

Quote:

Dear Mr. S4nusi:

Thank you so very much for your continued concern over the aftermath of yesterday's horrific events. Yes, it was truly sad and ugly and your sympathies are much appreciated. Although it is a simple matter to assess the modest degree of injuries to ourselves, there is no way to fully evaluate the psychological trauma to my precious little girls. Our animal psychological specialist has spent the better part of the day with them in the infirmary. We are particularly concerned about the possible effects of their common post-traumatic stress syndrome upon the rest of our groundhog community.

It is indeed fortunate that our immensely popular annual groundhog event was successfully conducted last week. I have attached a photo for your interest.

The groundhogs performed many feats of extraordinary skill for the audience, including line dancing and harmonic whistling. My favorite, Lucy, is shown in an attached photo after her blue-ribbon winning modern dance routine. These girls can get down!!

After many long hours today with supervisory and legal staff, insurance representatives and the local authorities it should interest you to know that I was able to make it to the bank right before closing time. I am happy to inform you that the transaction was approved, the actual wire transfer is scheduled for Monday.

I appreciate your patience with our situation here and look forward to working with you to the successful conclusion of this project.

Warm regards,

Wats0n

Coincidentally, the Punxsutawney master of ceremonies bears a certain resemblance to Bill Murray.

Of course I forgot to send the transfer slip (I've had a rough two days, after all). I have it ready but it will have to lay on my desk until Monday. It's Friday afternoon and I'm outta here! Smile

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:43 pm

The governor's reply:

Quote:

Dear Mr.M0llet,

Thanks for your long awaited message.

I know honest persons when i come across them. I am not doubting anything transferring the $18.5m into your safe account. You paved the way for me to work with you as i am just new in office and i shall never let you down.

I am only disturbed that the transaction is a bit delayed more than necessary, but this is evidently due to circumstances surrounding your plight. Nevertheles, i wish the $5000 transfer could come before noon so that the scanned slip from you would be used for processing the mandatory drug, anti terrorists and money laundry free certificate.

Once again, accept my sympathy and do everything to the best of your ability to scan the $5000 remittance slip and send to me first thing monday morning.

Accept my warm regards and stay blessed.

Yours-in-service,

Governor S4nusi,
CBN,GOVERNOR

I mocked-up a transfer slip from an example at 419.bittenus.com and sent it out just after 5pm GMT yesterday:

Quote:

Dear Governor S4nusi:

Thank you again for your patience and understanding as we complete this important step of our transaction. Please find attached a scanned copy of the transfer slip.

I am looking forward very much to the completion of our business. I intend to use half of the money to expand and upgrade our groundhog grotto at the zoo. When I bring $9M USD plus to the table at next board of directors meeting, they will be forced to finally listen to me this time and do as I say. The first thing to go will be these despicable grey wolves. Their howling sets all of my little charges on edge, not to mention the potential for disasters like last Thursday's, which needs no further discussion. Imagine the holocaust that would take place if these brutes were to ever break in among my precious little girls and boys.

If the board cannot find another location for the wolves within the zoo grounds, then I am afraid they will just have to get the chop. I am that serious about this!! Animal loving has its limits!!

I would like to name the expanded and refurbished groundhog area as "The Governor S4nusi Groundhog Grotto" in your honor, with a plaque showing your likeness. Would this be acceptable to you? I hope very much that it will.

Please let me know that the wire transfer has cleared at your bank, then we can proceed with the final transfer of my fund. Thank you again.

Warm Regards,

Wats0n

His gleeful response this morning:

Quote:

Dear Mr.M0llet,

Thanks for your great message.

The payment slip has been forwarded accordindingly as it will take 48 hours from today for the attorney to receive the $5000.

For your expanded and refurbished groundhog area as "The Governor S4nusi Groundhog Grotto" in my honor, with a plaque showing my likeness shall be the greatest thing to happen to me in life history and i look forward to visiting London soon as this is done.

The attorney has put every application ready as he assured me this morning. Your funds release is 100% guaranteed soon as the international drug and money laundry free ceretificate is ready within this week. It the $5000 was sent by western union we would have just concluded today.

Be rest assured that smiles must soon be on your face (they already are!!)and i will be visiting your zoo very very soon.

Stay blessed.

Yours-in-service,

Governor S4nusi CBN, Governor.

Now for the goodies to hit the fan. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:32 pm

The next problem, several days later:

Quote:

Dear M0llet,

Yiou sent me your bank's approval document instead of the remittance slip, why?

Please, endeavour to send your bank's remittance slip to enable us cash the money as soon as possible.

I wait to receive it today!!!

Governor S4nusi.

After many ins and outs all week long, much of it involving superfluous updates about my precious little charges, I plopped this turd in his punchbowl this morning:

Quote:

SOME VERY BAD NEWS

Dear Mr. S4nusi:

I have some very bad news for you. When I was finally able to get to the bank to pick up the remittance slip, I was asked to go meet with the wire transfer agent, Mrs. Helen W4ite in her office. She gave me the attached document and explained that the wire transfer did not go through, that your account at the CitiBank in HongKong was under investigation for suspicious activity. What on earth is going on? The money is still here!!

What am I supposed to do now? I have followed your instructions to the letter and now this mess. If you had simply filled out the forms for a Western Union transfer back at the beginning, we would both be starting a very well-deserved and happy weekend right now. A man of your stature has many subordinates working under him, I don't understand why one of them can't fill out the forms for you if you are too lazy.

I've had enough of this for one week, not to mention your poor attitude of late. I'm leaving work early and going to the beach for the weekend. I can only suggest that you go to Helen W4ite concerning your payment.(Italics mine, her waiting room is in the infernal regions)

Regards,

Wats0n M0llett

He has since responded with four frantic mails within the hour, including this little gem:

Quote:

Dear Mr.M0llet,

Whatever i must have done lately as you said is to protect and enhance your interest. Besides, i would never for any reason want to ganble your $18.5m release by subjecting anybody under me to handle your western forms, never.

I cannot do any business with Mrs.Waite.

Follow the instructions of Mr,Gi4de(A drug and anti-terrorism character that suddenly appeared and needs $10,000 for a certificate) and lets conclude.

Governor S4nusi.

So we are starting all over again. He will have to fill out the Nurse Nasty WU forms himself. That's all I was after two weeks ago. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:01 pm

You have a great new pet, Tuco, and you are treating him right! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:42 pm

This has gotten too wild and convoluted to continue to post while it's still in progress, I'll put it all in the finished work section when it's over. It seems that my last note to Mr. S4nusi above was received at about the same time that the first bank account went down.

For various reasons, has served up three more piggys so far this week. I would slice them up for sandwiches and invite everybody over, but they've already been shipped out to the sausage factory. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:02 pm

Four piggies out of Mr. Sanusi?? Shocked

That's great, Tuco! Let us know the link to your published bait when you are all done, as it sounds like some good stuff happening. I'm sure we could all learn a thing or two about beating out bank accounts. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:26 pm

Tuco, you the man! clapping

Look forward to reading. Very Happy

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