Lad's fantasy porn script (NSFW!) UPDATE Dragon/unicorn pics

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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:56 am

I have a orphan with a fortune scammer on the go at the moment who has been corresponding with my danish porn actress character who writes broken English. To cut a long bait short the actress has persuaded the lad to send a script to her director so the director will be impressed and send more money.

The lad was very reluctant - probably because he doesn't have a clue what a script should look like (neither do I Smile

) so my actress character came up with a few lines of stage directions and dialogue and our lad says he'd "edit it for spelling and grammar" and add to it.

This is what he produced. (Warning - language NSFW and contains sex with dragons (I think, it's kind of hard to tell!)

Quote:

Dear Tony,

Here below is a Sword and Sorcery script idea that I have go through
it and let me know what you think about it.

LOCATION: Exterior part of the bush and Forest clearing mostly Night show.
===========================================

I will use my name JOY Mostly on this little script and Now it starts
by me Joy getting a UNICORN and seats on It. The UNICORN walks stright
into clearing bush or forest which are lighted by torches rounds the
outside

Start Up: Medium close up UNICORN
and it flick its ear and look rounds the place

Then UNICORN: "This is not being the right place. It is too quite"

Then: sound shot Joy and UNICORN

UNICORN: "Did you hear that?"
Joy: "Noise, you imagine things, you big scared thing"
Joy - Then pat unicorns on necks and chicks
Joy: " your big all over your ties down , I want to do love once again
I I have not had it for at least an hour for a long time"

(THEN OFF THE SCREEN)

DRAGON: "Roahhhhh!"

Joy: "Oh my God fucking of the hells! It Grondar the Flatulent. Kings
of Dragons"

UNICORN: "Whinny!"
Joy: Am Charged!"

Then: Wide and big shot behind dragon, pan up and left for very wide
views and the UNICORN charges DRAGON

Then DRAGON: "Roahhh!"

As UNICORN gets too close the DRAGON then DRAGON wave its paw and hit
UNICORN then fall off and Joy fall off from Unicorn

Joy: "Heeee!"

DRAGON then put claw on UNICORN neck and pin it down

Joy gets up and CAMERA - follow Joy look CUT TO Joy sword lying to far
away to get to CUT TO Joy and DRAGON medium shot

Then DRAGON: get annoyed and look at joy very well and feel something
on its brains and body."

ThenDRAGON breath harshly and Joy while on the ground where full in
fears and then all my clothes fall off me

DRAGON: "Hmmmm... nice legs, for a human beign as this nature and
immediately feel like making love to human for the first time"

Quickly the drangond panis and everything across DRAGON body begging
to shark and the DRAGONs panis is getting erect. The dragon has a big
and long dick,

Then Joy, saw it and smiles and licks her lips and said in her mind I
love this dick and she started feeling to have sex with the dragon
because Joy loves having sex with a big dick then slowly Joy open her
legs and ask Dragon to come and feel her sexual style immediately
drogon mount and plung onm her. Joy screen and secreened owww, hmmmmm,
goood, harder and so on while Unicorn looks on how the hot sex was
going on then Dragon lick its mouth to show tham Joy is very sweet to
have sex with then follow animals like the dragon family.

Then Joy said I love this sex and its very nice.then ask Unicorn did
you enjoy the way the sex went on and the dragon responded by shacking
its eat in appreciation of a hot sex with Joy

My little story ends so far for know .

Dear Tony after reading this little script please tell me how you see
it and then I will still expect that you change your mind and ask
Bodil to send me the money tomorrow.

Thanks.

Joy.

I think my brain has melted Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:21 am

It's wonderful, thrilling work, but a bit short. What's he making, a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

I understand, from the Rankle Jones nonsense, that a full script is 130 pages (1 page per minute of film).

He needs to produce much more before he sees any money. Razz

PS: If you need a director, the legendary Swedish director Raggar Snurdsson is available. Perhaps we can safari the Lad to Hammerfest, where Snurdsson has his studio.

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:25 am

Yes... I'm also having a hard time imagining a dragon with.. well.. you know.
Have him draw that for us.

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

Wow

horny lad who likes dragons wrote:

...and the DRAGONs panis is getting erect. The dragon has a big and long dick,

He needs to do a storyboard ofcourse Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:00 am

A great beginning Laughing

But we want more!

419Eater is my life Joined: 08 Aug 2008 Posts: 475

ahh, the dragon draggons again and then ask Unicorn did you enjoy ...

oh yeah. tell him, he must really get in to it, to write a good skript, the boss should pay for.

we hope for more. dragons and swords and fire and unicorns. and more dragons more ...

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:13 am

There should be an Elf involved. I'm sure Pinkdragon would understand!

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:16 am

Hilarious! LOL_sign

Not quite a Newb Joined: 04 Jun 2008 Posts: 74

Brilliant. Although why Joy would bother messing about with a Dragon when she has a unicorn all to herself (with a very useful apendage on its head) is of concern to me. I suspect she has loose morals.

Can we make Joy a nun so as not to offend my religious beliefs?

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:56 am

Wasn't Joy already the Unicorn's Nurse, doing all kinds of nasty stuff (trophy time!!)

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:00 am

Well, only virgins can tame or ride a Unicorn, which would imply that whatever is being done doesn't breach Joy's chastity...

... uh, maybe we don't talk about that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Quote:

Joy screen and secreened owww, hmmmmm,
goood, harder and so on

I LOL'd.... Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:42 pm

Wow, I'd never have thought that Rankl3 Jon3s had competition, but this lad might be even worse Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:18 pm

Glad you all liked it Smile

I think Senegal lads are great, they are buggers to get off-script but when they do they do it big-style!

The director has told her it's brilliant but his CGI people are having trouble following the action so if she can do some storyboards by the end of the week he'll personally sort out 5000 Euros and a laptop to be sent.

I've told him that if he can't draw stick figures will do.

Hmmm.. stick dragon porn... I call rule 34 Shocked

@yastreb... I told him to make Joy an elf and if she wanted the part he'd get her some stick-on pointy ears like Liv Tyler wore in LOTR Smile

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:56 pm

Quote:

Grondar the Flatulent

I couldn't believe your lad had come up with this, then I noticed that you'd provided some dialog. Excellent name.

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 107

I want this turned into a movie!!

"... and then all my clothes fall off me" LOL. LOL!

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:02 pm

@Krona - Grunthos the Flatulent is from Hitchhiker's Guide, FWIW.

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 pm

That is so ludicrous, it's brilliant. I have a few actors and an agency currently filming in Belgium. Would he be interested in an audition? Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:41 pm

in all fairness... thats epic stuff... i've still got a long way to go before i can get anything 1/50th as good as this Razz

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:54 pm

You might find it hard to secure the services of a dragon, would your lad consider wearing a dragon suit? Perhaps he could send you a trophy oops costume photograph?

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:43 am

Dang, I leave for a year, come back, and find nothing's really changed.
Wow, this lad is funny. Laughing

It's been a while since I had a good laugh. It would be interesting to see clothes just fall off of someone. I had dreams like that in middle school (heck, it's still a great idea now!).
Tell him you may also be interested in a sequel! Maybe see if he can work Moby Dick in somehow. Embarassed

A shame he isn't an actor. Then, he could become a member of SAG! Laughing

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:14 pm

The problem is that a one minute script is what a lad thinks is normal. The next trick will be to get another lad to write a musical score with saxophones and bass guitars.

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:46 pm

With a bit of reading and re-reading you can usually work out what a lad is trying to say. But this.....

Quote:

and the dragon responded by shacking
its eat in appreciation

Ladspeak in it's purest unfathomable form.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

That's bleedin mental Laughing

, I trust you'll be getting him to make a video of some of that script? Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:04 pm

@sunshine
Yes, we must have a video of the script thus far! Tell him that if it's good enough, maybe you can get him a job as a Hollywood actor. After all, you helped Goerge Clooney get his start. Smile

@scooby
Are you free? Cool

(re: your avatar)

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