Ethics of ScamBaiting - Ramifications of having Been Scammed

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 29 May 2009 Posts: 59

The ramifications are indeed far reaching.

I am still dealing with the after effects of having been suckered in to the Romance Scam.

Now...I wouldnt be so stupid.

At the time...I really thought a bond of love was being established between two people who were communicating with no barriers involved.

We couldnt see each other. So no self consciousness. We were just sharing our hearts together.

But soon I began to feel confused. Distressed. Sad. And then had difficulty sleeping, eating. I became a bit of a mess.

I asked my Nigerian 'lover' and go no straight answers at all. Just the run around.

It is my rule of thumb that when there is confusion...there is a problem..somebody is not telling the whole story...

I opened my heart to this guy about the situation. More confusion. Then he started telling me about his business. The expense of it.

Warning signs lit up all over.

I am almost over it. Most days are fine. I wonder how I could have been so stupid. I got out early enough so that no real harm was done. But some days I still miss him. And wonder if he may have indeed been sincere.

So...it is a very real problem. Innocent, well meaning people are being hurt by this nonsense.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:42 pm

I know one tool that we often promote here is our sister site www.scamwarners.com

If you're still having problems dealing with the emotional effects of having been targeted for a scam, we can help you here, but they are a great resource as well -and a far sight better at it I'll reckon. (you'll even find some familiar faces Very Happy

)

That having been said, one fun way to move on is to make the pissant as miserable as possible. THAT we most assuredly CAN help you with. We are the best after all Wink

I'm watching your other thread, we'll get to the bottom of it, and you're right, you're very fortunate that you found us when you did.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:51 pm

This is a sad story Crying or Very sad

It is cynical that people talk to each other about hope, love and trust without really meaning it.

But that does not mean your dreams are wrong. And it is god to read, that your burglar alarm was on guard and protected you from further harm. Thumbs up

As long as he has your Real Life details, better stay away from revenge or whatever your anger might tell you - at least from your real e-mail account. If you want to pay back to those bastards, just read the stickies and join the bait ... Cool

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:29 pm

I was just wondering whether A.F. might be your real name...please ask a mod to change it for you if this is the case. The less you can be found on the internet, the better it is.

About the main topic, the "sharing our hearts eventually for nothing else than emptying my wallett" is as sad as despiseable Evil or Very Mad

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Sad

I strictly bait love lads because of this. It is the emotional after effect to the victim that is so heart breaking.

Of course you miss the 'person" whom you grew so attached to.

They seem so nice and are always there to talk to you and listening to you and make you feel so special like no one else has before.

I totally understand what you are feeling. I really do.

Unfortunately he was not real. It is his job to make you feel special and like the only one in the universe who he has ever loved.

At the same time he has dozens of other women he is doing the same thing to, and they all think they are special to him.
Every single one thinks that maybe he really does love her and she is special to him.

His pictures aren't real, his personality isn't real, his love isn't real.

He is a professional scammer, and he has to make you feel that way to get money from you.

To make you feel sorry for him, to make you feel guilty if you cant help, to have control over you and manipulate you with his sweetness.

They make me sick.

When you lose money , you can get over it, but when someone gets in your mind and heart it is not so easy to get over.

It is the realization that everything you believed was a lie. It hurts so bad.

I understand how you feel and if you need to talk you can PM me. Wink

Quote:

I wonder how I could have been so stupid

You will get better with time. It was never ever your fault and you were not stupid.
You were trusting and loving and he was a professional liar that knew just what to say and do. You were never ever stupid. Ever.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:34 pm

True.

If you gave us his email address(es) and other contact details (better over on scamwarners than here), I wonder how many Google hits this might lead to...

EDIT Found your other threads, seeing this has already been taking good care of Smile

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:35 pm

I can also recommend www.romancescam.com for support - they have a lot of people in your very position, and you will find them very supportive. I'm glad you got out before it was too deep, and am sorry for your natural sense of grief

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:27 pm

Agnes Finke wrote:

I wonder how I could have been so stupid.

You weren't stupid. Not by a longshot. It's human nature to behave irrationally and ignore things because you desparately want something to be true. This is especially the case with matters of the heart-no emotion runs more deeply than love. The phrase "love is blind" means many things, and you unfortunately found one of the meanings out the hard way.

The last thing you should be doing is blaming yourself. The fault is the bastard crook who did this to you. He abused your trust, respect, and emotions just so he could steal your money. It is his fault for doing this to you.

Agnes Finke wrote:

And wonder if he may have indeed been sincere.

It's hard, but you have to let it go. There may have been a few small half-truths, but nothing was sincere. You were one of many 'magas' to him that he was only interested in stealing money from. Right now, the only thing he misses from you is the lost opportunity to steal your money.

419Eater is my life Joined: 17 Apr 2009 Posts: 351

Heh AF!

I don't know any awful lot about 'love' scams but I know how they work and they are utterly - utterly dispicable. LegolasGreenleaf has pretty much taken to words out of my mouth.

May I say though that these forums walk some of the most beautiful people in the world and above all - welcome to Eater!! Smile

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 5:31 am

I too am sorry for what happened to you. It is because of the damage that scammers do that fuels many of us to bait the rotten criminals and scoundrels. Evil or Very Mad

Takd care of yourself and don't be hard on yourself for the tirckery that ensnared you.

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:00 am

AF, I've come to the conclusion that all human beings are capable of doing very unwise, irrational acts at some stages in their life, usually when they are feeling vulnerable.
As another poster said, you may have been fooled but that doesn't mean there aren't good people out there, including the right one for you, if you haven't found him yet. You just have to be more catious in your approach Smile

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