Rankl3 Jon3s: The Golfer - a lad production

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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 8:56 pm

The script has been around for a while, and since Colb3rt tried to finance it last year and failed, it is entirely plausible the scenes from Rankl3 Jon3s are popping up all over the place Laughing

Who knows how many people I've shown the script to? Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Dr. Colbert,
We are about entering the month of June and I think it is time for us to earnestly move ahead with this project. Once you are able to make your trip with a co-producer, or any other professional in the industry whom you think is ready to work with us then we proceed in earnest as I have done my primary assignment over here waiting for you to send me your travelling schedule.
In less than much expected time we make this project a global success as there is no fear as to the much anticipated success of this movie. Having the necessary casting crew will not be any problem once you have made your trip to Nigeria and see for yourself what I am talking about and the full thriller script.
Let your secretary Shelly give me a call within this week with your trip development.
Please always keep in touch with both Mr. De Mentia and Captain Malcolm to have patience as we all will have course to smile at the end of this viable production.
Keep the ball rolling this time around as we have talked enough.
PRODUCER
Mr. Onyema Emmanuel.

I like the idea of a "Big Bang" website too. Maybe the characters in "Big Bang" could display and erie similarity to Jones, Ray, Cassandra, etc.

Quote:

Dear Emmanuel,

I am as eager to get the ball rolling as you are, believe me. This illness was not in my plans at all.

I have a meeting with Mr. de Mentia and Captain Mal tomorrow in which we will discuss things and I'm sure the travel plans will be solidified by then. I know Mr. de Mentia in particular has been doing a lot of work on this project. He has been very busy lately!

Sincerely,
Stephen

I could respond that a "complication" has come up and Mr. de Mentia will explain more?

I would prefer not to be the "good cop" in this. I've always thought of Colb3rt being kind of a weasel Wink

Or we could tell him that we're selling it to Pixar, so it could be their first "adult" themed computer animated movie:

eta: a new link, because I just realized you had to sign in to view the old one. Some NSFW language at the beginning - blame Emmanuel for that.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090601121916239

Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 11:39 pm

This is fun! Laughing

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090531193909912

These are all using the same script samples that were sent to Wright by Emmanuel.

Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:13 am

^
Cool!

Emmanuel will shit a brick when we turn his life's work into a cartoon!

I will prepare a Big Bang scene using the Lad's words, while we figure out the best way to proceed.

It does seem that he is vowing to do nothing more until Colbert travels, so a boot up the rectum of the Lad might be the appropriate treatment.

Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:48 pm

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090601124711465

Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:01 am

Last one.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090601195815450

You know, Emmanuel's work really shines through when you see it in action Rolling Eyes

419Eater is my life Joined: 15 Apr 2009 Posts: 296

I'm just wondering, is it worth adding an IMDb entry for R4nkle J0nes? It is, legitimately, in pre-production. Ish.

Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:24 am

^ Yeah, it's not we're trying to not get it made, it's just . . . taking a while.

The only thing I would be afraid of is it might make his scam look more legitimate to another victim.

We could probably do an imdb entry for "Big Bang" though Wink

I was thinking maybe the animations could be uploaded to youtube as parts of the movie "Big Bang" and then one of us could send them to Emmanuel with an e-mail saying, "Oh no, look at what we found, this sounds just like your script . . ." etc. I wonder if there's a way to edit out the end part where the xtranormal website info appears?

I think Wright is working on something like that.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:40 am

This Lad is ridiculous.

Quote:

Dear Mr. De Mentia,
I am not sending in any script to anybody, if you people are ready for this project then let Dr. Colbert make a trip or I offer to do so. I am tired of saying one thing over and over again.

I am not loosing anything if you people back out, okay!

Sum up the best of all you have achieved or worked for in this industry is nothing to be compared with what you are rubbishing. This is a must production this year. Watch out!

I didn't reply. But might this be the time to announce that someone has been plagiarising his work?

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:50 am

Logic never seems to work on this lad. Time for pain! Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 15 Apr 2009 Posts: 296

Worf wrote:

The only thing I would be afraid of is it might make his scam look more legitimate to another victim.

We could fabricate a short messageboard conversation confirming that the production doesn't need funding as it has been picked up by a "proper" production company now.

The advantage to IMDb is that if it were to lure genuine victims in, it's entirely outside the lad's control what they (and we) say on there- I would think it's more likely to blow a scam out of the water than to solidify one.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:53 am

This from yesterday:

Quote:

You have made a very notable point regarding the use of Mi-24 Hind attack helicopters in the production as it will be advertageous to us. Many thanks for that.
Please I need you to accompany Dr. C01bert on his trip. Once this trip is made we start up earnestly.

So just sent:

Quote:

According to my sources Nigeria is operating eight Mi-24s - will you be able to secure the services of two for the film?

The other question is that of weaponry. Such script notes as I have seen, and those fragmentary, call for three armed groups. My suggestion is that each group carries signature weapons, as follows:

Rudolf's forces - AK-47 rifles
Scott's forces - M-16 rifles
Police - G3 rifles, M12 submachineguns

Please clarify your prop status. I note that the script does not seem to call for heavier weapons such as GPMGs or RPGs.

The matter of vehicles and the animal actors is outside my remit.

I've not yet been asked to travel.

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:48 pm

Wright B Hindyou wrote:

This Lad is ridiculous.

Quote:

Dear Mr. De Mentia,
I am not sending in any script to anybody, if you people are ready for this project then let Dr. Colbert make a trip or I offer to do so. I am tired of saying one thing over and over again.

I am not loosing anything if you people back out, okay!

Sum up the best of all you have achieved or worked for in this industry is nothing to be compared with what you are rubbishing. This is a must production this year. Watch out!

I didn't reply. But might this be the time to announce that someone has been plagiarising his work?

Time for me to upload some of these to youtube?

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090602202912820

^ He sent that scene to me last year.

Rankl3 Jon3s: The Animated Movie Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 1:23 am

Multiple plagiarisms sounds promising.

The cartoon dudes have stolen some stuff, Niall de Mentia needed a night club scene for 'Big Bang' and so pinched some of the latest scripts.

Welcome to the dog-eat-Lad world of Hollywood. Very Happy

EDIT: Replying to the post below. Not an ironic comment, I can't find the delete post button.... Sad

I found it for you Wink

-ghost

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 2:19 am

Was that double post supposed to be an ironic comment?

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 1:44 pm

Quote:

Dear Dr. Colbert,
Mr. De Mentia asking me to send in a script of over 130 pages is provoking considering what it took me to have this inspirational work in place. I am ready to work with him equally but you are the only clause to this project. Well there is time limit that I can condone, after which I speedily switch over for the production to be completed this year as time is fast running out and appreciate your much time with me watching a gold field go off your possession.
I am very ready to work with both Captain Malcolm and Mr. De Mentia our script doctor. Always keep them inform of development.
Your trip schedule should be sent in to me latest 15th June, 2009.
PRODUCER
Mr. Onyema Emmanuel.

Quote:

Emmanuel,

Are you sure you did not send the script to anyone else? Any one at all?

I think I have found something that you may find disturbing on the internet.

Sincerely,
Stephen

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

I can't wait till the fireworks begin Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 2:20 pm

I confess.

I just cracked, and sent the Lad some wonderful news.

Quote:

My dear Emmanel,

As I said before, your negotiations with dear Stevie Colbert are nothing to do with me, I hope you can work it out.

Anyway, I have some wonderful news for you!! As you know, I am working on a Hollywood block buster film in which Van Damme star called the Big Bang, and suddenly they ask me for the new added scene to make more time for the movie! I don't know which way to turn, until I remember your scene with the Ray and the Jones at the night club hull.

As you are a thrill writer with a tip-top vision, I have taken your night club hull scene for the Big Bang movie! Of course, I must have changed the names, and done up spelling checks, plus some directions.

I know you will not mind about I borrow this scene, dear Emmanuel, as we shall work together close on the Rank Jones project. Now, before that start, already some thrill of your script will be seen in a Hollywood block buster, is that not a wonderful news?!!

Look how I have transformed the club hull scene in the attach file!!

Best wishes.

CDM.

I enclosed a nice script-formatted PDF, after further mangling his spelling, and with the names changed from Ray and Jones, to MacNeill and Oblopski (who are the characters in Big Bang played by Schwarzenegger and van Damme respectively)

I await a reaction.... Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 2:36 pm

I can't resist posting this snippet of the scene

Quote:

SHELLEY
You are different and I feel your specialty, I think I can make you have the best fun of the night, okay, huh. I'll give you the best of my body wonderful reflexes, companionship, kiss, romance and down to sex, if you are ready for me. I wanna make you happy.

MACNEILL
Many thanks! What expertly is your business?

SHELLEY
I don't understand your fucking bullshit!

MACNEILL
Ehh, ehh, I mean what you do for a living.

SHELLEY
It might be what looms in your mind right now, ehh. I've never felt emotional impulse as this before. You are just special in my mind. I feel very comfortable with you as if we've known a million years. Make me feel your warmth, please! Oh please!! I'm growing cold inside of my side, I need a heat up!

The wording is so odd, I'm wondering whether this Lad is in fact primarily a French speaker.

Anyway, I find it poetic. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:58 pm

Is MacNeill "Jones" or "Ray"?

I think I'll wait a couple of days to see how he reacts to this news before I spring on him the animated version that is floating around (and once I've added it to Imdb of course Wink

)

I don't want Captain Mal to be left out in all of this either.

Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:48 am

MacNeill (to be played by Schwarzenegger) is "Ray".

Oblopski (played by van Damme) is "Jones". Dunno who should play Shelley, perhaps Queen Latifah or Whoopi Goldberg.

The other major cast member of "Big Bang" is Rebecca "Matzo" Fishbein, an expert on volcanic passages, who is to be played by Renee Zellweger.

I eagerly await the Lad's response to this bit of news. I hope he doesn't disappoint.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:58 pm

I wonder what this deadhead robot will think of all these manglings of his gold field? I can't wait to find out! Nice work all. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:38 pm

This just in (only an hour ago, apparently):

Quote:

We can secure any production equipement if we are able to finalise our primary production issues with Dr. C0lbert. With us all working together as a team, we can secure whatsoever equipement but that is not to say I can secure those Mi-24s helicpters. You break down of the use of different rifles is really a welcome idea, many thanks.
Dr. C0lbert is talking about a problem that I am yet to understand him. I need to hear from Dr. C0lbert to acertain what the problem is. You are a man to work with, I think we are just starting a good chapter that will open good future project partnership.

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:00 am

^

He copied me on Wright's e-mail (he totally told on you, Wright Laughing

).

Before that, I told him that I had discovered an urgent problem:

Quote:

Emmanuel,

Are you sure you did not send the script to anyone else? Any one at all?

I think I have found something that you may find disturbing on the internet.

Sincerely,
Stephen

Quote:

Dear Dr. Colbert,
You have to let me know what exertly is the problem as I will sue anyone that make use of my material in any capacity, as I have my evidence of my work.
Those that hunt and chase mercy away will live to screem in pains search for mercy, cry for mercy but by then mercy will be no were to be found. We have beyound man's law court. Those that venture into such don't live to tell the story in the physical. Beyound the physical.
One legal suit can fold a company built over many years.
PRODUCER
Mr. Onyema Emmanuel.

I can just see him in court, showing the evidence of his "work" Laughing

Here is what I plan on sending to him:

Quote:

Dear Emmanuel,

Oh dear, this is not starting off as a very good week, I'm afraid. I did not even know about Mr. de Mentia's plagiarism. I came to tell you about another case.

There was reason I asked you about who else you have sent the script too. I happened to come across these videos on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/cartoondudes1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKvl2LpzDTA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhK4JeoaMyY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNYr_ORS70Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tha5aDIR6LQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAkKd5h8zt4

Apparently, someone has stolen the script for Rankl3 Jon3s and is now making a computer animated movie of it!!!

This is very, very bad. What happens if the animated movie comes out before our live version?! We will be ruined! Ruined, I tell you!

Why is this happening? How long has the script for Rankl3 Jon3s been around? How many people have you contacted over the internet over these past few years to help you with this movie? Have you ever posted about it in a chat room or message board? There could be tons of "Rankl3 Jon3s: The Golf3r" copies out there. You didn't send this to anyone but me, did you? You must have, or how do other people like these cartoon dudes know about it?

I am very upset! Projects like yours must be kept secret and it appears you have been telling the world about Rankl3 Jon3s all over the internet!!!

-Stephen

Can someone here check the youtube links. First to make sure they work and, second, to see if there's any way to access my "real" information. I made up a new "fake" youtube account and I don't see any way it can be traced back to me, but I'd like you guys to check to see if there's something I missed. Thanks. Smile

btw, the title of the animated movie has been changed to Rankl3 Jon3s: The Gopher Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:54 am

Some slight signs of strain from our Lad, but all his bounce is still there.

Quote:

Dear Mr. De Mentia,
I am a sincere man, I don't think your project will answer a big bang when compared with my work of over 130 pages, if actually you are ready to work along with Dr. Colbert who introduced you into my project. You fetch a cup of water out of a thank, how do you think you are bigger and better placed? You don't dip your finger in an oil and will not be stain.
Clearify me on your content. We have the physical and that beyound the physical, think about that.
I can write for you any thrilling material provided you give me a slight insight about what you need. You give me time frame for such but that you will pay. I have good thrilling scripts, yet to be produced.

I replied that his work would never be seen, except perhaps as part of a village school play, insulted him a bit, and told him not to contact me again. I'm not sure he correctly understands the notion of plagiarism. Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

The movies work fine, but the xtranormal reference at the end, shouldn't it be edited out?

Otherwise we will soon see the lad making a concurring animated movie of his script...

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