V14gra spam funnies

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Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 10:17 am

I have one catcher that gets hit by these daily. Some of 'em would've fitted right into a Carry-On script.

Today's examples:

'Your big tool will be like a soldier: big, strong and always ready.'
'We hae the best alarm-clocks for your small fellow down there.'
'Aid your bed event'

and..

'Are you sick because the size of your stick?'

Laughing

Who the hell thinks them up? I thought Frankie Howard was dead.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

Over a year ago on my work email, I would get tons of spam for a related product that you might say compliments v1agra. I had to do a search to find an example of this spam. Luckily they were funny and odd enough that they have been immortalized on some people's blogs. Most of these spams were memorable for using a great word: whizgiggle. These spams constantly changed the words to get around spam filters, but the sentence structure was the same. An example I found:

Females always whizgiggled at me and even boys did in the open lavatory! Well, now I whizgiggle at them, because I took M_E GA D IK for 3 months and now my phallus is dreadfully greater than world.

A web search on whizgiggle will bring up more of these..

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 4:39 pm

Quote:

'We have the best alarm-clocks for your small fellow down there.'

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 5:18 pm

These were in my catcher account today:

Quote:

Make it a stick of pleasure

Quote:

Dreaming about her friends beating your time?

Quote:

Want to be like a tiger in bed? Time to be thinner

Isn't the last one exactly not what Viagra is about?

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 7:47 pm

Getting thinner does help.
Winfrey's favourite TV doc, Dr. Mehmet Oz, recently linked weight loss to apparent growth of the male member. "If you lose 35 pounds, if you're a male, you are gaining one inch of penis length," he trumpeted.
source

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 10:36 pm

^^ That would be great if the dude in my email was selling diet pills but he was selling Mycoxafloppin pills. AFAIK, that shit doesn't help you lose more than a couple of fluid ounces.

Telling people to go on a diet would be doing himself out of a spam job.
And if that was the case, he'd just be stiffing himself.

edit: Ah. The website in the link I got sells Viagra and diet pills - everything an impotent lardarse needs.
That reminds me: I must email Jojobean.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

I'e had everything from trains going into tunnels ( did get me interested for a nano second ) to give it to your couple ( ? )
diet drugs
acai berries
but now they're venturing into antiviral drugs
now THAT'S adapting to the market forces

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 11:59 am

Connie L. Gus wrote:

Getting thinner does help.
Winfrey's favourite TV doc, Dr. Mehmet Oz, recently linked weight loss to apparent growth of the male member. "If you lose 35 pounds, if you're a male, you are gaining one inch of penis length," he trumpeted.
source

Wow. That's impressive. That means I have some mammoth potential in there. Let's see... a current 10", plus 1" for every 35lbs I lose? I'm sporting a 20" in there. Thanks for the advice.

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 12:28 pm

Quote:

YOUR PEN15 HAS WON $10,000,000!!!!

I can dream can't I. Wink

Hellish Taskmaster Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Posts: 537

Quote:

If your manhood is a motor, our products make it work like F-1 bolide's one

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Sep 2008 Posts: 236

I used to work at an engineering company, and was in charge of the emails.

The day that I got one of these messages with the phrase "Meat Machinery" in it, I nearly died of the giggles.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

just got this email header

Quote:

You will become a hero in her eyes after giving her the best in-out in her life.

and I thought of you ....

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 1:23 pm

Are you guys talking about your penis's again??? Surprised

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 1:49 pm

JojoBigBean wrote:

I'm sporting a 20" in there

You would come out of retirement for a thread such as this, wouldn't you. Btw, what's your phone no.?

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 1:58 pm

I get squillions of these in one of my baiting accounts, shows I've seriously upset someone. From today's batch:

Quote:

Few blue-pills on vacation will ensure your macho power. Don't try luck!
Your pants' key from her bedroom!

Quote:

hoist your belove sexual event with relef of fine meds.

Quote:

Your bedroom doesnt smell like passion anymore? Change it.

Or open the window.

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 6:10 am

Quote:

Is sex The Proof Of Yur Love For Your Partner?

Duh!

Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 9:35 pm

Quote:

* Super-ChargedSexDrive
* Rock-so1id Hardness
* Feel bigger, wider, and fuller (to you and to HER)
* Throbbing powerful blood flow to thePenis
* .1ntense, long-lasting iErections
* Outstanding control and stamina
* Strong and fast recovery for multiple repeat sessions!
* Big, impressiveEjaculations
* Increased confidence andSexualChemistry
* More rapidArousal
* Greater, morePleasurable sensations
* Harder and more frequent iErections
* Massive, earth-shattering0rgasms
* All-night staying power

Quote:

.. And that's just the beginning. Shocked

Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 4:03 pm

Quote:

Make your pecker firmer

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Quote:

Be sure in your hose

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 1:01 pm

Quote:

Your virile stamina will return to you like a boomerang.

Newly arrived message this morning on a rarely-used account (which, by the way, is accessed via an e-mail system called "SquirrelMail." ) Wink

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 2:53 pm

My nonprofit sees a daily stream of these too. (The smiley is actually from the original email)

Today's gem:

Quote:

With our pharm you'll have sword-like dick ! Conquer women with him ! Wink