There's been a miracle in Ladland!

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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:30 pm

Background: NOK bait, 67 days old. Not yet at the WU stage either. The money's now in London and I've been talking to the wrong branch of the bank which is in Burkina Faso so I have to start over again.

Meantime, our boi in BF is itching for some money so his "wife" becomes ill. I then float the idea of sending over a courier carrying a good chunk of change.

Quote:

Dear Sw!ss

How are you today, I hope fine. Please what the development with the London bank?

Secondly any hope towards your promise of assistance in sending me any little amount for my wife medical treatment of her ill health?

I am waiting your urgent update please.

Regards
Mr. Kalab3 Zong0.

Quote:

Dear Zong0,

I am fine though I am being overworked. I had a surprise visit from my wife who came to Dallas over the weekend. She will be returning home in a few days. Our firm has identified a replacement manager and we have tendered him a job offer. As soon as he accepts the offer, I can leave Dallas and then return to a more normal life. I can expect some very long days this week, about 14 hours per day. By Friday things should be more normal.

With regards to your wife, I have arranged for a licensed bonded courier to meet her in Ghana. He can be there on Saturday, but you need to confirm to me if he will be meeting with her or with a designated representative. If you are going to designate a representative, we will need to know who he is and he will have to meet the courier in Accra.

You haven't told me how much money your wife needs, so I told the courier that the amount would be $8500. I hope that you don't need all of that as that I want to use part of that money for any expenses that might arise from the transaction that I originally agreed to help you with.

I would also like the contact informaiton of your wife's physician so that I can better understand what she is being treated for.

thanks,

Hamm0nd Sw!ss

I was angling for a safari, but instead this came in overnight:

Quote:

Dear Sw!ss

Thanks for your mail which contents were well understood. Great thanks to your kind gesture towards your financial assistance on my wife’s ill health. Yesterday night God’s name has been glorified. God made name for himself. I have to share this great good news with you. Yesterday night my church committee delegated three strong Pastors who came to see my wife in the hospital for prayers. Prayers started at 7.00pm till 2.00am, really God showed his mercy and miraculous healing. The vision from one of the pastor confirmed to carry on the medical surgical operation in the same hospital here Burkina Faso. As I am writing you, within 1.30 minutes the surgical operation shall take place today. More so Glory to God the church committee has agreed to give some financial help to my wife’s hospital expense. Please this is my joy and I want you to help me and glorify God on this wonderfully miracle. I believe God has taken care of my wife’s problem. Regards to your question she is having stomach Fibrous.

In issue concerning our fund transaction, I plead you try as much as you can by Friday as you may be less busy to reach London correspondence bank for the fund remittance finalization. Also you can use part of the amount $8500 for any expenses that might arise from the transaction you had originally agreed to help me with for the finalization please.

Let God crown you with all good wish you need and always see to all you needs. You will never lack for having the mind of assistance. God protection and blessing rest on you all the days of your life. Amen.

You’re Brother
Mr. Kalab3 Zong0

Well now, isn't that just nice? His wife is now fine!

Seems to me though that I should honor this miracle by sending the courier over there anyway, to fund the ministry of the church that intervened. After all, what would the courier think if I have to call off his delivery?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:42 pm

Stomach fibrous? I hear that's particularly stringy this time of year.

I particularly love the way he just hacked and pasted your sentence about the 8500 and flipped the 'I' and 'you' at the end, but forgot to flip the 'you' at the start. So it actually sounds like he wants _you_ to use the money.

Well, if you insist... :>

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

I would hate to meet his wife, you must pity any man when the church sends 3 STRONG pasters.

Actually i take that back, ask him did they video it, innuendo intended. lol

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:24 am

Guess what, gang?

The surgery was succesful! (not that there was any doubt, mind you! Laughing

)

Quote:

Dear Sw!ss

I hope you are fine today. Good news of my wife’s surgical operation was successfully. Yesterday and today the doctor confirmed a successfully surgical operation on my wife. I thank God for this great deed.

I am now focusing on your ability and efforts to conclude up our transaction as you have promised. Please have you heard from the London bank?

Kindly update me please.

Regards
You’re Brother
Mr. Kalab3 Zong0.

I countered with:

Quote:

Dear Zong0,

Wow! This is great news! I have been on the receiving end of miracles myself and they always tend to happen when you least expect them. I have been thinking about this all day and I have some ideas to share with you after I catch you up on things.

(snipped out two paragraphs complaining about the bank)

Now about your miracle. Those three pastors who prayed for your wife and who helped bring about a surgery for her stomach fibrous must be very powerful in the ministry. I am constantly reading about how churches in Africa depend on donations from people in the richer countries in order to spread the word of God. Mission outreach is something that concerns me very much.

With that in mind, I would like to go ahead and send the courier over there to meet with those three pastors and to transfer the money to them so that they can use these funds to further their ministry. I have told the courier to expect a slight delay so that we can have time to arrange this transfer.

Let me know what you think about that.

In the meantime, I wrote Ed!th J0nes about 15 minutes ago to ask her for her help. I'm not sure that I'll get it though. She must be one lazy betazoid.

regards,

Hamm0nd Sw!ss

My intent is to lead them on a safari, though I don't know how successful I'll be at it. I'm expecting some pushback on this and will instead be encouraged to work with the bank.

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 9:30 am

Quote:

As I am writing you, within 1.30 minutes the surgical operation shall take place today

Please make enquiries as to why the waiting time is so long?
1.30 minutes is 80 seconds, that's a terrible long time to wait for an operation.

And how about sending the surgeon a thank you present for saving your friends wife? I bet All St*r Shipping can help you get it there.

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