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Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

This is not really a scam, nor is it a relationship that went wrong (well it is, and it did), but I have serious concerns about someone not being who they say they are.

Met a guy recently - it was all chocolates and flowers (and I was at a very vulnerable stage in my life). Things went really well. He clearly had money (designer clothes, top of the range car, top restuarants). Then I noticed that he was being rather evasive about things. First sign that all was not as it seemed was that he cancelled a weekend with my parents as he had suddenly remembered it was his parents' wedding anniversary. Having access to all the bmd records, I checked this out. There were no matches. Strange me thinks. Apparently he has a business abroad - checked it out, absolutely no trace. Not on electoral register either. He apparently has children - I check this out, no matches. I told him my concerns (there was loads of other stuff too) and as a result of my "lack of trust" he ends it. He has maintained a friendship (and in fact is now starting to try and step the frienship up a gear). I noticed the other day that he had removed EVERYTHING from his wallet apart from one card and cash. (Before I nearly saw his DL and he went mental). What is this guy on? I have noticed that he picks "high flying" women to date (I have a few fake profiles that I have reactivated for scam baiting purposes and he goes for the well heeled type). Part of me thinks I should just leave well alone, but part of me wants to know exactly what this muppet is up to.

Just thought I would post this to see what others views are. Perhaps being a lawyer and trainee baiter has made me overly suspicious!

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:28 pm

There's clearly something dodgy about him. Living a double life (with a different name) springs to mind - wife and kids somewhere else.

If he's really got something to hide then you could be putting yourself at risk by trying to find out what it is. I would steer clear.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

In my opinion - steer clear.

How can he expect a relationship to develop if he isn't totally honest and open?

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

Yeah, you are right, steering clear would probably be a good move. Unfortunately, I was with him for a few months and he practically moved in here so he knows just about everything about me. I am working on the basis of keeping my friends close and my enemies closer.

I've changed all my passwords on the PC (which I KNOW he used one morning when I went out early), my bank cards and records are all safe, I wasn't using internet banking at the time so that's fine. He never saw my pin number (although I saw his). I've even changed the locks on my house (he did have a key which he returned but that didn't satisfy me).

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

Ain't I just one suspicious cow?!!!!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Nope
it stinks
to high heaven
Change all passwords to something not related to family/pets names/ family birthdates/favourite songs or groups
Change your PIN nos to random nos
Read any womans magazine in the last few months they are riddled with stories of conmen who date one woman while living off another/ pose as secert service/ are nasty sh*ts out to wrangle women out of cash and lifestyle
Anyone who is so secretive to the extent he doesnt want you to see his driving licence cant be trusted and trust is THE basis for any relationship
( even if it was a crap photo on the licence wouldn't that be something a couple would giggle about, dont know this personally as I still have one of those old paper ones )

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Oh, double check your bank /building society statements are coming to your address
Check your credit rating to make sure no loans have been taken out in your name that you know nothing about

Change all your locks too, even if he didnt have a key/handed it back.

How's that for a suspicious cow?

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

I already changed the locks, I was so suspicious.

My passwords are not (and never have been) family related, but are random words/numbers. Now they are different random words, numbers.

Thankfully, I am one of the lucky (unlucky!) few people who have a personal account manager with whom I am on first name terms with at the bank and they call me if there are any unusual payments. But I will check my credit rating. Glad its not just me!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Sounds like you've done the right thing
Glad you changed the locks, better safe than sorry

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

Thanks Nanny, and there was me thinking I was a nasty suspicious cow! Anyway, he's off back to Spain in a couple of weeks so will be off my case for good.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Ah but is he really off to Spain or onto the next woman?

I'd think, being a suspicious cow, that there's apother woman or women funding his lifestyle.
Could be someone has booked a holiday abroad so he'll have "business " abroad to account for the tan and abscence
He may be wooing the next "victim " with a holiday in the sun

or he may be completely innocent

sorry nearly choked on that one

Mods- we need a suspicious cow icon

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

sends cathy an renamed dll Razz

I cant really comment on the guy because i simply have no idea.

Mind you i dont like people seeing my dl pic, like everyones its not the best.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:29 am

Although there are some things one does not share with someone who is not married to them (and even then ...), there are other things that come up easily when even acquaintances are talking.

Secrecy when it's not necessary is a big red flag in my book.

While he's away, "lose" his contact information. If he contacts you later, drop him like a hot rock. He's not worth it.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:23 am

He may be a completely innocent man who is just extemely conscious of his identity

But I dont think so, he has to be up to no good and you dont want any part of this.

I have seen the odd case, (1 through ScamWarners if I recall) where men live off teh women they meet i na fantasy world full of lies and mistrust.

What you have described is exactly how it works.

One more thing to check, (being the suspicious bull that I am) make sure you dont have internet banking set up especially if you haven't set up internet banking.

Ciminals have in some cases hijacked bank accounts by setting up internet banking then selecting that be teh only form of notification

Just quietly, I dont think you are a suspicious cow, just careful as you rightly should be Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

I have coincidentally just set up internet banking. You need a card reader and the card pin number for the card. I did however realise last night that one of my cards is missing. Now I actually think that is down to my own scattiness than anything sinister. Nonetheless, I've cancelled it and checked that account (the account has no money in it anyway) and all is fine.

Why the hell is he keeping in touch with me when he knows I am onto him?!! (I told him I had checked him out and nothing added up!). Anyway, he is meant to be calling me today. Shall tell him I am away with work for a few days (I can make it look like there is no one here). He can't get in and I have changed the alarm code.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:33 am

Cathy2008 wrote:

he cancelled a weekend with my parents as he had suddenly remembered it was his parents' wedding anniversary. Having access to all the bmd records, I checked this out. There were no matches. Strange me thinks. Apparently he has a business abroad - checked it out, absolutely no trace. Not on electoral register either. He apparently has children - I check this out, no matches.

obviously, you do need to get to the bottom of it, to allay your concerns.

but are you adding 2+2 and getting 3? i read what you wrote and there is a lot of info missing before i could be so sure he is up to no good.
is he british? - if not he might not be on electoral register
is he resident in the uk? - if not he would not be on electoral register
has he moved house recently? - if so he might be on the register somewhere else
did he get married in the uk? if not, you won't find a record of it in uk files
were his kids born in the uk? if not, you won't find a record of them in uk files
where did you look to try tracing his overseas business? i didn't think they need to be registered in the uk

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

Yes he is British. Yes his children were born here. He moved back here last year. Not on any electoral register anywhere. I checked the business out in the area he allegedly trades in (curiously, I have a friend in the same business out there in the same area) and she couldn't find it.

You are quite right though, I could be horribly wrong. There is just too much slightly smelly stuff though.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:08 am

when out together do something to get both arrested Shocked

cops will unearth real info Laughing

just kidding - move on

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

in births deaths and marriages you need to check the following 3 months, older records tend to be manually entered, meaning they end up months out of sync, the information itself would be correct, but it could be for example married in june then you would need to check june/july/aug/sept and sometimes even as far as december if it was a busy year. (the dates will all be correct but in different volumes)

My uk company you wouldnt find in the area it trades, nor would it be easy to find via companies house. To save myself business rates i put it in the basement of another business and to there its registered, so unless you knew the other business you could literally walk past it and never know it existed.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:22 am

Oh how cynical this site makes us! Obviously he is um, a spy, or a multimillionnaire or, um, that's it, I'm out of ideas.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:59 am

GordonBennett wrote:

I'm out of ideas.

how about he was adopted?
or he's covered by a witness protection programme? Smile

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 11:11 am

More likely to be just like this case posted earlier today http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=163293 seriously, it has all the hallmarks, even if I am wrong, any man who is not honest and open with you is not worth knowing, give him the flick Wink

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 6:48 pm

It's perfectly simple, and not at all cynical. Have you met his family (if he has met yours), have you met any of his friends (if he has met yours)?

If you know nothing of his life other than what he's told you himself then the situation is dodgy.

Always look for external verification when getting to know someone.

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

He has met my sister. Was meant to be meeting the rest but found a great excuse. Has met all my friends and work colleagues. I have not met one.............

Anyway, I've killed it. Originally I was going to lay some bait. I've cut contact though. Think he could be a sight dodgier than I originally thought.

Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:12 pm

Quote:

Has met all my friends and work colleagues. I have not met one.............

There's your answer then. Does he have email? Can I bait him?

Smile

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