Worst thing you have ever eaten.

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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:59 am

Okay, thought i would start this off as i have not long got back from my local Newsagent/Greengrocers (theres the clue!) Bought 8 Bananas for £2, they all had a slight tinge of green to them but nothing to raise an eyebrow over. Got home and proceeded to 'try' and remove the skin. It did'nt come off in the usual way of pulling from the top four times and then munching away! Rather, the skin came away as if it was like long wet hair through a comb? So in all my wisdom i ignored this as i know that once i start to get the pithy skin away from the edible fruit inside it will pop out. After about 10 minutes of gouging miniscule bits out with my thumbnail as it was totally bonded to the fruit inside i had that Eureka moment Idea

- a potato peeler, i proceeded to peel away, smug in the fact that no Chimpanzee would have thought of using a potato peeler to solve this problem and that's why i live in a stone house and they live up trees. Minutes later it was ready and by now i was looking forward to the fruits (sorry) of my labour. I pushed it into my mouth like those actresses from the wrong side of Hollywood and bit down on it. It made the same kind of sound as biting into a freshly picked apple, a kind of crunching noise? How odd i thought maybe its just 'Super' fresh and not stodgey and squishy like an over ripened one. Then my taste buds kick in, it was just like i was eating the pith that i had spent so long to remove, that starchy, dry acrid foul taste. Rushing to the bathroom and spitting it all over the sink and toilet just to get it out of my mouth. A glass of mouthwash and a rather extended cleaning of my teeth and some more Mouthwash and Hey Presto its sorted. All 8 Bananas are as hard as those Specialist 'Lady Toys' but these don't hold batteries. As i was writing this out i came to understand that i may indeed live in a nice stone house and Chimpanzee's are confined to tree dwelling BUT a Chimpanzee would have known that the Banana was NOT ripe and would'nt have even attempted to eat it! So on that Evolutionary family tree - Chimps 1 and Jon (me) a big fat 0. So endeth the lesson.. cheers sid

and the next please

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:24 am

A sea slug when I was on holiday a few years back (the chef bet me I couldnt eat it lol), also fish eye soup (which is literally just water and fish eyes) and a King Rib that I bought from Lidl once (that was the worst of the 3)

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:56 am

When I was about three, I had a biscuit in one hand and a wax crayon in the other.

Luckily I get 'right' and 'left' a bit better now.

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:59 am

Yesterday evening. I was about to have a fun evening with some friend playing poker (without any real money involved Wink

). Two of them had, however, decided to bake a cake... A good idea in itself.

This was one of those almost-ready things where you need only add water and egg to the mix, pop it in the oven and bake it. Foolproof, innit? Wrong!

One of the two geniuses had misread the instructions and added the egg (so far, so good) and 750 ml of water (Wrong!!! The instructions said 75 ml). As if this wasn't bad enough he had decided that it could still be salvaged by cooking the water out... As was to be expected, this didn't work well with the egg already added... They still put the thing in the oven and when I arrived they had produced something quite burnt-looking but still to hot to cut/eat... So we let it cool down and, sometime into the game, decided to try this...

Upon cutting the thing we discovered it too be something quite jelly-like with a hard (burnt) edge to it... Despite knowing better we tasted it and discovered that it had no chocolate-taste (it was supposed to be that kind of cake) whatsoever, though it still looked dark. The foul abomination tasted somewhat like cooked egg but had the structure of something jelly-like.... Yuck.. I still have cold shivers thinking about that... (lot's of water/beer/crisps washed down the taste though..)

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:04 pm

Pity i was'nt there, as a baker in my youth i would have advised them to turn the heat right down and place in the bottom of the oven. Removing from the oven from time to time this will dissipate and assist evaporating the excess water. This process would obviously take a lot,lot longer which from your point actually would have been a good thing as you would have already left to go home before it was ready to <strike>eat</strike> throw straight in the bin Very Happy

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:53 pm

That's not a banana! It's plantain, which you have to cook I'm certain. I know as I made the same mistake once myself...

My worst eat still has to be Durian - next time you're in Malaysia, try it...once and once only Wink

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:36 pm

Quote:

My worst eat still has to be Durian

Not so much the taste...the smell is probably worse.

Now don't start me off on eating weird stuff. Every so often I disappear into the jungles of Northern Thailand for a week or so.

Nothing out of the ordinary on the menu there...Frogs..Rats...Snake. There is even a little man that treks to the door once a week selling insects. The Thai's eat them like peanuts Shocked

I can never understand with all the great food they have available out here...why they eat catapillers?

My wife's favourite as all the Mod team are aware is...'Squid in toffee'

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:21 pm

I will nominate two "worst" things I have ever eaten:

(A) Jalapeno corn bread - the child who helped make it misunderstood that the recipe called for 1/4 teaspoon of chili powder - she added 14 teaspoons of chili powder. The impact was unbelievable.

(b) Brownies laced with quinine. When I was a senior in high school, a couple of girls thought it would be funny to bring brownies to school, "improved" with quinine, and pass them out. Taste is absolutely horrible, and it won't go away for a while. Suspensions followed.

Bruin

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:34 pm

Sea Urchin - specifically Uni sushi - it's absolutely vile.

Quote:

My worst eat still has to be Durian

Durian is very tasty....it's the smell that's awful

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:50 pm

Probably the worst thing I've eaten was a tin of steak and egg from an Australian Army ration pack. Alexei Sayle did a skit about food additives in which he mentioned something called biquezerate - "the stuff they put in tinned macaroni cheese to make it smell like sick"; well, tinned steak and egg is biquezerate served neat.

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:46 pm

Anything cooked by my ex-wife Confused

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:34 pm

Tripe. Nasty, nasty stuff and it was prepared by a former chef from the Russian Tea Room so it was professionally done.

Eating bugs doesn't bother me but tripe turns my stomach.

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:59 pm

Many years ago I was a poor, young student hitchhiking through France. I had dinner with some friends in an inexpensive but popular cafeteria. I saw one dish among the entrées that looked really good -- all browned and dripping with melted cheese and breadcrumbs. I could have asked what it was but I simply assumed it was macaroni and cheese. Imagine my surprise when I took a bite and discovered it was calf brains. puke

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:08 pm

Your basic garden variety of worms......I was only 4 years old.

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

One of my favourite memories as a kid is sitting down to my mum's home made rice pudding on a Sunday evening a little while after Sunday lunch. Out of the blue, I grandly announced to my wife that I was going to make a home made rice pudding after it came up in conversation just a couple of months back. I phoned my Mum and asked her what I needed and then duly took the car to Sainsbury's to buy the ingredients. I got home and phoned her again to ask what I need to put in the big glass cooking bowl. Having added the appropriate measures of pudding rice, milk, sugar and butter - I set the oven to 200 degrees and left it only to check and stir every 10 mins then every 5 once it starts to set, like Mum advised.

10 mins in, nothing much happening. 20 mins in, still not much, but I take it out and stir. 30 mins, very hot, but little progress. Annoyed, I put it back in for 5 mins. I take it out, no progress. I call my Mum and accuse her of telling me to do it wrong which she assures me she hasnt. She asks if I actually switched the oven on, to which I respond furiously, declaring I am not that stupid and that the stuff is actually piping hot.

Another 10 mins, no progress, I call Mum and accuse her of doing something wrong with the ingredients. At this point my wife comes home. Seeing me visibly stressed she asks whats wrong. A foul mouthed tirade of insults towards the pudding followed for a good 5 minutes. She then went into the kitchen and returned not 10 seconds later and calmly said 'you had the grill on'.

Essentially, I had 2 pints of grilled milk.

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:42 pm

But was it edible?

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 518

The worst (I can remember) would probably be Vegemite, but I'm sure I've eater worse things in the past.

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:15 am

I traveled to the UK with my family in 1976. We were in London and visited Harrods. They had quite an assortment of smoked fish. I bought an ounce of several kinds thinking it would be a nice treat. I ate as much as I could and still had fish left over. I ended up throwing most of it away. I don't eat smoked fish anymore.

@ Juan, I too had calf brains and scrambled eggs. Horrific... I don't know that it is available any more due to CJV disease. Bleck... puke

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 3:53 am

When I was in seventh grade, we had to read 'Robinson Crusoe'.
Our teacher took it upon himself to assemble all of the food items eaten by the title character. It took him two weeks to find everything. He then laid out quite a buffet for the class. Everything from raw salted fish to dried eel to toasted cockroaches.
I dutifully tried a bite of everything (despite the fact that I'm allergic to fish), but now I stick to good old meat and potatos, thank you! Wink

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:51 am

MOP Said;

Quote:

Two of them had, however, decided to bake a cake... A good idea in itself.

A cake, in Holland. Ran out of rolling papers had you? He He He.

When I was a toddler (1964 ish) in Heaton Park, Manchester, the deer roamed free. My mum says I had eaten quite a bit of deer poo before anybody realised what I was scoffing.

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:05 am

Worst thing I've ever ingested wasn't eaten, it was a drink.

True story.

I was on a 15 mile fun run with my rugby team where we visited pubs on route.
In those pubs we collected money for charity and had a drink - a pint with a shot in it. The drink was named by the first one to reach the pub and everyone had to have one.
The first couple of stop-offs weren't too bad - people ordered stuff like Guiness and port or lager with vodka but after the 6 or 7th, things started to get a bit silly and it was shit like Bitter with creme de menthe. Everyone was starting to feel a bit queasy. Especially with the running in between.

The last stop was Cider and Baileys. This shit curdled like a mofo and I made the big mistake of putting my glass down after a couple of sips and going for a leak. When I returned, I noticed my glass had been moved but didn't think anything of it. The contents looked disgusting but shit, this was for charity and I had to do my duty, so I downed the bastard in one. It didn't taste at all like I remembered. Far thicker with a bitter aftertaste.

Then I looked across the bar and saw our prop, picking up empty glasses and puking into them. At the same time, I saw my full glass on the table on the way to the toilets where I had left it.

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:00 pm

snails.
from a tin !

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 720

stuffed vine leaves

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 7:20 pm

Chicken liver. The most disgusting taste.....ever. I'm getting queasy just thinking about it. I'm off to eat some chocolate to get the phantom taste out of my mouth.

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:12 pm

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

True story.

I was going with natto, balut or lutefish but you win.

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