Leno Reccommends

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Corona wrote:

Leno, kiss my grits!

Are you old enough to remember that show?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:06 am

Yup, they change regularly. I can't help it, it's a compulsion. I need to go on Jeremy Kyle or something. A good shouting at in front of an audience of blood thirsty pikeys might just sort it out.

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 8:58 am

What's become of that crispy bacon we had before the war?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:38 am

Boddingtons or Black sheep?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:19 am

I av 2prblmsth frs i pety bvou m kybar i fr om rasn isin eer tir lttr hvetreddrnkngcoios mont o berbu tisha nt eledmyseon pobemreats o y oate ad rigeI veherdthm lotig o av m kdnppd ndhed o anomwht hold do

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:26 am

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 11:03 am

Is it because you use Twitter?

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

@Badger Grylls: 24 hour petrol station is your friend, 5 litres of unleaded and a 20 deck of Malboro

@SlapHappy See a vet, Get the works and let petplan pay for it

@Spudz Nothing wrong with it, a few pictures of women always help the moral round here, You could always send me some monies by western union or moneygram if that helps...

@lareneg I like your avatar, I approve

@Pastor Frank You didnt ask advice, so this is pointless but I like the cut of your jib

@Yastreb Terrorists took it, Please write to

Taliban Complaints department
Taliban Terrorists
Those big hills in the north of Afganistan
Northern Province
Afganistan

and ask for it back.

@Roycropper If its Manchester made then Boddingtons else Black Sheep

@Star A Star, Please resubmit in english kthnx

@Dutch To make Airbus A319's go skinny dipping in rivers. Or so people called Eliot or Sir Alan can shoot them down.

@Yastreb No

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:19 pm

If you get heart surgery and a get bypass operation they use a main blood vessel from your leg; how does the blood get to your feet afterwards?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:24 pm

Dear Jay.

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation.

I headed straight out the front door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Jay, should I tell my fiancée' what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or... should I keep the whole thing to myself - including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Yours,
Confused and Frustrated.

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:53 pm

^^^leno allows no one else to answer his thread, so I'll keep it to myself. ^^^ Laughing

Quote:

Corona wrote:
Leno, kiss my grits!

Are you old enough to remember that show?

I'm only forty twelve and do not remember show, Sir! Laughing

My paw paw used to say, "Kiss my grits" but it was always in a joking way. Cool

Sorry Leno, carry on! Smile

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 720

I keep dreaming these beautiful girls keep coming towards me and I keep pushing them away

Can you break my arms?

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

@wokabo There are more than one set of vessels, or they use plastic ones they use on drips,

@Slightlyoutofit, Tell your Mrs to be that you had the test, score some brownie points, or blackmail the folks to buy things for you, either way you will win

Oh and get a picture of her for your wanking collection best of both worlds

@Corona PM me with a really nice note and I may ALLOW you to answer.

@Doodle Bug Yes, but won't your viagra induced hard on keep me away from your arms?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 8:44 pm

Dear Jay Dreardie,

Is there a sanity clause?

And why can I never decide whether if, no non-graduates need apply, it means that Mrs Robinson may have had to settle for the postman who always rings twice?

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:02 pm

If Mayonnaise is spelled P-R-A-I-S-E - then how do you spell "Praise"?

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

@Cathartic Kate

Two pronged question, I reckon you should bang Blanche and dump Rita Oh wait thats for my bit in the Sport.

In relation to your questions

- Yes there is a sanity clause, Its known as TAMPAX.

- The postman is having sex with Mrs Robinson, He also bought her some kinky stuff off ebungo

@Yastreb

Its spelt LADS LIKE WILLY IN THE BUM BUM

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:42 am

Something that has been bothering me for ages: If the Levy was dry, while drive all the way to it?

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

The simple answer is Dim N as interger

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 10:08 am

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

1 - Yes otherwise the health and safety wouldn't let them fly

2 - No its because of all the make up they put on, makes the meat less tasty, so I am told.

Leno Recommends:

Sausage served with chips

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 720

Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 10:40 am

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:40 am

If a woodchuck chucks wood, does a nunchuck chuck nuns?

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:58 am

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Smile

train boi Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 697

@Doodle Bug It was the greatest HIV enfested porn star Isa Leaksalot

@Master of Puppets Depends on how many hours he chucks wood for, taking an average 8 hour with 1 hour for lunch as a working day, 50 peices of wood an hour that would be 350 peices of wood

@Yastreb yes and he will chuck lads for 50p more

@Corona in tesco its the chicken that comes before the egg due to the store layouts Smile