M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:05 pm

AFI (Mr. Os0ndu)

sends this in reply to my email earlier today

Quote:

Dear J3remy SkrimIy,

Thanks for your mail.

Well,I am promising you that I am going to meet up with the deadline.

The pictures will be sending to you concernning the otta paint adverts.

Thank you.

Regards,
Mr.0sondu

deadline for this is April 6th

and from Erom0nsele

Quote:

Hello Jeremy,

I received your email and i have not been able to have a shoot that will clearly show the company name.

I am still on it.

Regards,
Er0monsele

for some reason, no matter how many times it is proven lads lie, i forget this simple fact.

he only has 2 1/2 hours until the deadline, maybe he should be reminded.

Erom0nsele

I find your email a bit disturbing. You only have until the close of business today to provide us with your proposal. I truly hope you are a man that likes to work under pressure and not a man who makes promises and fails to honor them.

If I must remind you myself, many in the company as well as the client are expecting your submittal today. Failing a client deadline is not a good way to become a profitable member of M00seknuckle.

I await your submittal

Jeremy

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:17 pm

Quote:

Failing a client deadline is not a good way to become a profitable member of M00seknuckle.

It is very hard to become a profitable member of m00seknuckle if the company docks your paycheck for every day you are late with a proposal. Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:11 pm

After an hiatus of 2 or 3 weeks I have just ASEMmed another 900 odd lads, starting to do it every day again as before since September or so - we need new applicants. A week without baiter forms is a lost week for our company Smile

Anyhow, "Innocent Ken" (what a name...sounds like a Jump & Run Gameboy game !) sent forms

83.229.90.9 Nigeria (Lagos) (oho!)

Complete with goat essay! But where does this lad come from?

EDIT This is the same lad as [email protected], who wrote a single email to Randy in mid-January:

Quote:

THE MANAGER, HUM4N RES0URCE M0DELING C0MPANY.

HELLO SIR.

MR. RANDALL 0LDMAN.

IT IS WITH DELIGHT TO EXPRESS MY INTEREST TO PARTAKE IN THE MODELING PROGRAM OF YOUR COMPANY. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH YOUR OFFER.

MEANWHILE, I WILL LIKE TO PROVIDE TWO MODELS TO YOUR COMPANY. SO I WILL LIKE TO KNOW HOW THE PAYMENT WILL BE MADE TO ME AND THE AMOUNT FOR EACH MODEL. I AM READY ANY TIME TO PRESENT TO YOU WITH THE PHOTOS OF THE MODELS AS YOU REQUESTED BEFORE ANY PAYMENT SHOULD BE MADE FOR THEM.

THANK YOU.

REGARDS,
MR. IYK3 MB4N0 ANY4KA.
LAGOS, NIGERIA
WEST-AFRICA

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:04 pm

I am very disappointed with this lad. after much assurance from him, he failed to meet the client deadline as promised. he has one last chance, there is a deadline of April 6th we can try for, but his past performance doesn't leave much hope.

he sends me this message today.

Quote:

Hello Jeremy,

I am not able to have a good shoot showing the company name clearly and i am sorry that i could have what i expected but i promised to work hard with you and on every other proposal.

Regards,
Erom0nsele

Erom0nsele

I am happy to see your email. I hope you understand the disappointment in your failure to meet the deadline. The importance of this was explained to you clearly and you assured me that you would handle this without delay. It is pure Luck for you that I was able to convince another of our agents to represent this client and meet the deadline.

I have been in a meeting just now with all of the managing members of M00seknckle and with my plea for leniency, they have agreed to allow you one final chance to show us what you have to offer.

We have another client in need of representation, the deadline is April 6th. I ask if you are able to provide a proposal by that date?

let me know.

Jeremy

He contacts Emily regarding payment transfers to approved banks.

Quote:

Dear Emily J0hnson,

Thanks for your email and amongst the banks in the list, i like to use the below given bank for transfer payments.

The Afric@n Devel0pment Bank Group
Nigeria Country Office
Pl0t 813
Abuja, NIGERIA

Regards,
Erom0nsele

I find this odd that he claims he will accept payment in Abuja.

His IP 41.28.156.105 & (41.29.228.19) puts him in South Africa. If we use Johanasburg to Abuja, this would be a 4,506 KM (2,800 mile) journey. Odds are not good.

edited, forgot to add Emily's reply

Er0monsele

Thank you for your email. I am surprised that you were the subject of todays meeting. This may not be my place to discuss this with you, but I thought you should know.

Many in the meeting today were threatening to revoke your employment contract with us but Jeremy's pleas convinced them to allow you another chance. I am not sure what the issues were and to be honest I couldn't care less. But you truly need to understand that failing to meet a deadline is not something taken lightly nor is it acceptable to the managers.

Thank you for providing the bank that works most convenient for you. I will note this detail in your file for future transfers.

Emily

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:17 pm

Might be a fellow shipmate of his (scam-from-home)...

"Innocent Ken" is not the next Super Mario, it´s yet another sendee from JohnK (oo they won´t like him soon in his community, will they?) LOL

Quote:

Sir,
An application was submitted by one mr Nw0rie Inn0cent 3k3n3 under the supervision of i Mr John K your West African agent manager. Mr 3k3n3 is well known by me for a period of five years now and i can atest for his characters and capabilities. He is a man i need to get along with without any problem. so treat him as one whom i have suretied.
John

This is about the 6th ot 7th cpl. set of applications that JohnK is responsible for. He safaried in November and has been with us ever since, he is indeed having a "career" with us. Now I hope Otterfan can still get his 0budu mug and T-Shirt because D-Day is coming near...
Sent him some nice words:

Quote:

Dear John,

Once again, more excellent work from you!

His application will be considered favorably, and I am going to contact him in a few days. Your team in our soon-to-be Nigerian office is getting stronger, that´s a pleasant development and it shows your sincere commitment for M00seknuckle.

Best regards, RandaII

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:32 pm

I am waiting in line to have a bit of fun with him and his crew. think of the propsal he could provide us.. Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:39 pm

Quote:

Dear RandaII,
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail concerning Ek3ne, it is a pleasure that i am trusted in m00seknuckle.
Concerning the forth coming quater meeting and the plans of a new office in Nigeria i have been contacting mr Jack but he don,t seem to respond is all well with him and what is going on with the schedulled programmes my team are worried to know whats up coming.
RandaII please feed me back as soon as you can so that i will always have an answer to my men questions. Do tell Jack to send me a mail too.
John.

Jack, how shall I feed JohnK back? Laughing

oooo the second "quater", we must pay now Laughing

He is feeling the money itch...

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:15 pm

lets try again with Erom0nsele, I know he has potential he just needs to discover it for himself.

Quote:

Hello Jeremy,

Thanks for your email and your kind understanding, let me know the kind of proposal the client need.

Regards,
Erom0nsele

Er0monsele

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you must understand that I have a bit of apprehension believing your words. It is unfortunate that you now must rebuild trust in the company. I hope you are serious but I will put the past behind us and proceed as needed.

The client proposal is for a newly formed company. They're name is The Gh3cko and their new product is lingerie for men. I know this sounds a bit odd but their studies have shown a large market for this type of product in France.

They are looking for a minimum of 3 pictures, obviously more pictures hold a better chance of acceptance, but 3 is the minimum. The proposal should be of male models dressed in lingerie and performing minor household tasks (sweeping, cutting grass, painting). As i ststed earlier the proposal pictures must have the company name shown clearly.

The deadline is April 6th and the client is willing to pay $14,000.00 for approved proposals.

we do have a few more clients, but the proposals are more involved and require the use of almost nude models. The Gh3cko proposal is a good start to show what you can provide the company.

I await your reply

Jeremy

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:20 am

Another mail from "Mr. 0budu JohnK":

Quote:

STILL ON THE MATTER OF SILENCE

Dear,
Can you please feed me back with those questions that i wrote to you about, for a week now i have not heard from mr Jack concerning the assignments he asked me to carry on, can you please send words to him that i and my team men are desperately worried.
Randall you know you are the only one i can talk to.. so make hay while the sun shines. [It´s that line again!]
KEEP KEEPING ON.
John

It´s almost a M00seknuckle classic...
Indeed I am the only one he can talk to Very Happy

since Randy is Jack´s phone voice. The burden of typing to him, however, is very unequally shared between almost all MM departments. And the hay-sunshine line, I think he must have a T shirt with that on the back...
Keep keeping on! Very Happy

Oops, would almost have forgotten to fulfill my duty ... (shouting)

"Jaa--haack? Words, words, words! JohnK and his team men are desperately worried ! The hay is about to get wet !" Very Happy

I suggest we pay them now. Don´t we have a partner bank conveniently situated just 200+ miles away in a dormant account in Abuja?

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:20 pm

^^ let me know when it's time for Emily to do what she does.

a new 'agent' contacts jeremy.

Quote:

Sir,

I am contacting you to let you know that I am seeking for the chance to become an agent in your country. I need to know how things are done in this company and how I can successfully help the company to achieve its aims and objectives. I wait to hear from you. Thanks for your help and God bless you.

he receives the scripted reply.

this is a reply to my mass mail account, this lad whines about money in his first email. not much hope for him I am afraid.

Quote:

Sir,

I am very sorry for the delay in responding to your last mail. Apparently, I do not have the means of paying for the internet service. Besides, one page of print out and scan cost us here the sum of N400.00K - N600.00K, and it is almost 5 pages, meaning that, I need up to N2,000.00K to get the forms filled and resend.

Please I would be grateful if you will still give some little time to fulfill your demands.

I am waiting earnestly to hear from you again.

Thank you.
Emm@nuel

the name sounds familiar, but a search reveals no match. his future isn't hopeful, but maybe he's willing to provide a small trophy?

Emm@nuel

I am sorry to hear of this problem, but it is important for you to submit the information to our company. if you are unable to do so, I must apologize that there is not much more I could do.

it might be an option for you to write a letter to the company explaining your situation and stating how important this work is to you. when you finish the letter, send it to me. I can bring it to the directors board for their input.

please understand that the letter should be personal and hand written. This has worked in the past but is not something we do regularly.

hope to hear from you again.

Jack

The folowing is from Otterfans lad who was promised payment for shipping birds.

After reviewing your files it has been determined that we failed to document which of the approved banks are convenient to your current location. The attached list of banks are the banks approved by federal security requirements and have completed the necessary papers to allow them to accept international transfers from registered corporations.

Please study the list and inform me of the bank you wish to use for payment transfers.

Emily

Quote:

Dear Emily,

Thank you for your email and list of approved bank by your firm, but I would like to urge you to go ahead and make the payment via the account we gave to you for the payment of our money because we have no account in those banks you listed, even if we have an account there we have a procedure of our transaction, so if you are willing to go ahead with us in the purchase of our birds you have abide by our instruction, we don't need to change our rules because of our transaction with you.

Therefore, you are advised to pay through the account with gave in Bank Of N3w York.

Thank you and remain blessed,
Dr: Al@n.

not a problem, we can use his bank but it takes a bit longer

Dr Al@n

I thank you again for your email and hope that you are well. To clarify my previous email, I am not attempting to change any rules. I am only trying to assure that there are no delays with the transfer.

I must ask if you are familiar with banking transfer law changes since the terrorist attacks and the US government fight against terrorism? The banks I provided you, are a list of banks that have met current security requirements for corporate transfers. To be honest it does not matter to me how you receive the money.

That said, I will transfer the funds tomorrow, your bank will notify you in 6-8 weeks that the funds have cleared the US banking regulation waiting period and are available for collection.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

Emily

he doesn't like the delay

Quote:

Hello Emily ,

Do you think that am a fool if you really want to transfer the Money
to the Bank Account i give,( Bank of New York) You do it first and
your the one that will send me notification not my Bank you are to
send me the transfer slip and i did not understood what you mean by
this.(That said, I will transfer the funds tomorrow, your bank will
notify you in
6-8 weeks that the funds have cleared the US banking regulation waiting
period and are available for collection) No bank can take 6-8 week
make transfer is only 3 day if you did not want to play me do what i
said.

Dr Al@n

who the hell does he think he is?

Dr Alan

How dare you show such disrespect to this office! I am not sure if you think I am some type of fool that you can write messages to in that way, but I do not appreciate it and i will not tolerate it.

You are obviously ignorant on banking laws here in the US so I will explain them to you. You are asking for a direct transfer from a licensed U.S. corporation. Banking laws require certain securities, one of them is a security background investigation of all parties involved in the transfer. As I told you, one of the security measures is a waiting period of 6-8 weeks.

If you do not like the law, become a member of the US federal government and have them changed.

I gave you a list of approved banks that have met the security requirements of international transfer. If you would have accepted one of those banks you would have your money in a few days, but you decided to be difficult and choose to use your own bank. Your choice created this delay not mine.

Be forwarned that if you ever write me a message like the previous one i will assure you that I will do everything in my power to convince Jack to find another person to do this business.

Good day

Emily

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:50 pm

It is my sad duty to announce the partial passing away of Jack Smeh0fik at the weekend after contracting food poisoning from eating badly-cooked lobster.
His sister, Holly, is contacting those MM people for whom Jack has died (the 0budu people, incl. Darlington). The others, for whom he hasn't died? Well, they're going on as normal since he's alive and well. And avoiding lobster if it's on the menu.

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:54 pm

when and where is the funeral? perhaps the heartbroken lads will be visiting to show appreciation for all that he has done to help them. Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:57 pm

I've told them, for now, that it will take place in Chicago, since that's where MM is based, but I have a feeling that someone might find that he had changed his will. What changes? Oh, I dunno, maybe that he had fallen in love with the Nigerian people and that's where his heart, soul, and now his body should be eternally located?

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:13 pm

our friend Er0monsele has again failed to keep us updated on his decision, so I send him a message to see what his intentions are

Er0monsele

Good day to you. I am troubled that i arrive in the office today and see that you have failed to notify me of your intentions. These silences are not productive to our business and your future with the company.

I need you to update me on your intentions, if you are unable to provide client representation you need to tell me so that I can schedule other agents for these assignments.

I have discussed your behavior with pat, jack and randy and they are very surprised by your behavior. perhaps you are not the promising agent we had all hoped?

Notify me immediately.

jeremy

he replies

Quote:

Hello Jeremy,

I have been waiting to get in touch with my model before i get back to you and my model for the shoot has just informed me that he will be available, so i will provide the proposal before the 6th.

Regards,
Er0monsele

we shall see

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 10:05 pm

Sorry to hear of the horrible death of Jack. Maybe some of the lads would be interested in locating, taking pics, and pricing out various nice resting places for his remains. Smile

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 10:19 pm

Slaphappy, it's as if you were in my mind and reading it like a book!

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:37 pm

Quote:

I AM DEPRESSED AND PARALYSED SO SEND A WORD TO ME

Dear RandaII
It is damn too unfortunate if it,s true because Jack sent a note to me just last sunday before i left lagos for Delta my state here in Nigeria. I cannot believe that Jack is dead unless i see the corpse or Jack lying in state as this would be the only proof to his associates here in Nigeria.
I am his West African agent manager and i feel deeply touched and paralysed as Jack is not supposed to die mostly this time that we needed him badly, please we need confirmation to this, a picture of Jack lying in state and if possible the video cassete of his funeral. Do me a favour dont spread this news yet to any of my team members until there is a living proof for if you dfo so it will scatter Jacks business here.What do we do now/ Is his death going to effect our business by terminating all that we have been suffering for m00seknuckle if no other person i think i have suffered greatly for m00seknuckle wasted my precios time and huge sum of amount so what next Randle/ i will never relent this news to any body yet in my team as i may be sue in the law court for allowing them spend their time and money for the company
Accept my sympathy from the bottom of my heart.
John K For West African mm crew

OF you are a bad man Smile

using the old Shiver payment delaying modality number one!

I would like to introduce the old Murry Guru lawyer character then...Dr. Denut0...he has just the correct forms for inheritance matters....and 3 more "Dummkopf" pics would be the cream of the pie.

To anybody who reads this : This lad JohnK, his scam modality is being a 19 y o female refugee girl (that´s what turns up when googling his email addy), so please take everything here with a grain of salt! NO ethics necessary - he whines so much because he has invested a considerable amount of time and resources in our little lad-distracting-from-scams modality.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:46 pm

I think Johnk is getting a little scared that all of the money that he's asked his friends/colleagues to invest will become a slight matter of tension between them if it means that MM won't be paying out their expenses. What unfortunate timing!

As for a lawyer character, I already have one lined up to act as Jack's personal lawyer (and the matter of his will), but one acting on behalf of MM's business interests is okay, so long as Johnk is aware that these are two different things and might have different goals. I killed Jack off because (1) I wanted to get out of the whining for expenses now that April is upon us, and (2) it's a chance to try a whole new bunch of stuff on him since he's invested a lot and won't throw MM away so quickly.

And neither Johnk nor Darlington have replied to Holly's sad email announcing Jack's death.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:52 pm

"Business interest lawyer", ok....as soon as he asks for it, please mention Dr. Dennls Denut0.
My Skype number is running out soon anyway but for the time being, I better ignore it completely then.

Of course, the whole matter applies not for new recruitees, right? Jack is dead just for JohnK and SolomonE. I just need a person who "will deal with your application matters after we have received your completed form".

If you change the website accordingly, I´ll take out Jack´s name and edit in Pat or so.

And there certainly are movie scenes in which Richard Gere dies Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:58 pm

Only the Johnk/0budu people have been told about Jack's death.

Solomon E? He's barely contacted me at all. I think that one's just drifting off into apathy, mainly from his side as only one of his "team" have contacted me since that "You're all a bunch of jokers" email I sent them. Solomon has promised to be my friend for ever, but he's been silent.

EDIT: I posted the previous message too early. Johnk has replied to Holly with the same email as was sent to Randy. It wouldn't surprise me if Darlington, being a lot less invested, will just forget about things and not reply. He hadn't actually gotten so far as spending too much money (if any) on MM business so he has little to lose. But... you never know.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:59 pm

an obituary/news article should do nicely as proof of Jacks death.

http://www.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/snippet.asp

no reply from Er0monsele today but Prof Michaels seems willing to help pur clients.

Quote:

Thanks for your attention. I am also happy to be given the opportunity to be a part of your firm. I know and believe that clients an idea for their products by offering them Ec0-Friendly Promotional Products,tradeshow give aways and business gifts etc. I believe and know I can do this job if given the opportunity. I will also need more enlightening from you. I wait to hear from you. Thanks once again for your attention.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:09 pm

You mean bastards. Laughing

I love those forms.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:40 pm

Thanks, Nursey Smile

Just thinking, a question on forms like "How much did it cost you to print, fill out and scan these forms? Please scan the bill additionally for full refund." would be professional, too...

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 8:10 am

Johnk is in mourning. I was going to reply to his last email where he asks for proof and say that recording someone's funeral on video is very insensitive thing to do, but received this at Holly's email address before I could do so...

Lad wrote:

Dear,
Thanks for the bad news, it is a bad one because, if any one is supposed to die not Jack who was as close to us, the West African zone, friendly, deligent and always imbibing into us, words of encouragement and spirit of oneness, we will continue to miss him.
I, the team leader and all the West African members and staff of m00senuckle are mourning along with you. Accept our heart felt sympathy from the bottom of our heart while we await for the next line of instruction as soon as the burial is over, please our most sincere sympathy to his lovely wife, she would miss him so much.
Mr John and all the west african m00seknuckle staff..

Holly wrote:

Dear Mr John,
Your email was very much appreciated. I didn't know that Jack had so many close connections to people in West Africa. He told me about some of his business when he would email me (I live in the UK) but he wouldn't mention everything.
His funeral is on Tuesday and everyone is in mourning here. He was a big character in everyone's life and he will be missed by everyone who knew him. His wife is very depressed and upset, and I'm having to be the strong next-of-kin getting things sorted out for the rest of the family. I've volunteered to attend the reading of his will tomorrow and there we'll probably find out what wishes he had for the future of M00seknuckle Modelling, if any. I say "if any" because M00seknuckle will probably still continue without his leadership just........ you know............ not in the same way. But we'll see.
I can understand your concerns and all of those of the West African M00seknuckle staff. I'll let you know more when I've heard what his will says, and how it might affect you.
take care,
Miss Holly

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:51 am

Randy is getting more and more emails now that Jack is dead....and Solomon E sent a "Click on the tears".pps attachment. Be careful!

Mail from Lucky (who obviously has no clue about that yet):

Quote:

A question unanswered!

Dear Sir,

I am recommending my first female model to you but still asked a question on my last mail to you that were still unanswered. As an agent, if I recommend female model that will qualify me for a first installment. I want to know your mode of payment because the models I will commend have asked me this question of payment and it is very important we discuss the issue. If we can have sign agreement letter before sending you the first three photograph of my first recommend female model.

Please let me know how you make your payment to your agent and to the model recommended to you. You will be looking out to see my female model wearing lingerie. You should expect see special 'sexy and seductive' look.

I expect your reply.

Thank you.

Lucky U

Sent this as reply to Lucky:

Quote:

Dear Lucky,

Since Jack appears not to be able to answer you for the time being, I have taken matters over.
I advise you to do the following :

1. For questions, feel free to contact me anytime. I will always be there for your questions.

2. For payment matters, feel free to contact my right hand, Mr. B0sh, first thing Monday morning. After your model submissions have been approved, he will pay to and also give you the expenses that your model undergoes. Don´t hesitate to give him my regards - the earlier you give him your details, the quicker we will be able to give you what you seserve as part of the M00seknuckle Modeling company.

2. The photographs, we will rely on you. Lingerie is absolutely acceptable and usually a good choice to convince customers of the quality and professionality of a yet unknown fashion model.

I wish you a very fine weekend.

Regards, RandaII

Time for you, Mister Bosh Very Happy

you have the payment forms ready? Wink

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