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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:07 am |
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Quote: |
Thsnk you BERTIE,
IF YOU CAN TRAVEL TO SPAIN,IT WILL BE BETTER.I WILL TELL YOU ALL THAT IS REQUIRED OF YOU AND WILL GIVE YOU A SCHEDULE TO TRAVEL.PLEASE CALL ME ON 011.3465801XXXX |
Time to get out and dust down the old charabanc (a type of horse-drawn vehicle or motor coach, usually open-topped, common in Britain during the early part of the 20th century. also used colloquially to describe a run about), don't you know ?
I think this scammer could find handling the penniless English upper class a headache, but he invited me.
I suspect the car could end up breaking down on the motorway in among all these people who don't speak English.
Quote: |
Dear Mr Francisco
I thank you for your kind invitation and, as I have got the old charabanc out of the garage for the first time this year, It'll be nice to give it a run out to Spain. I have to put it away for the winter as it doesn't drive well in the snow.
I fancy a jaunt to foreign parts as I haven't been abroad since I was in the army and we were invading places. Is there a tunnel to Spain as I cannot fly in planes since I saw them going up in flames all the time.
I seem to recall that all these foreign people are very welcoming and I can always ask directions if I get lost but it would be helpful if you can provide directions.
Let me know what clothes I should pack and I'll call you later.
Don't worry I'll give the car a wash before I set out.
Best Regards
Bertie W00ster |
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_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:25 pm |
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Gomer, don't forget to pack your riding coat, leather cap with goggles, and elbow length leather gloves. Have fun on your motor carriage trip! |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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TheLovelyJill
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 18 Jan 2009
Posts: 966
Location: Viewing astroturf at a cracking owl sanctuary
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:33 pm |
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I suspect you must also have a collection of very rich aunts, too |
_________________ FUCK YOU LYN3TTE OR WHOEVER. ASSHOLE - A Cole
You are a useless woman. Please go to hell where you belong - THE EUROPEAN UNION
She has been waiting [at the airport] for you for hours and is very afraid - Edw4rd C0le's Madrid lad.
Your father was a coward and your mother a fagot - Barr G0ldsmith
You be jail soon let wait and see........ P0ntus
I no longer want to involve you in this transaction since I am beginning to see your cunny part.
i wasn't fucking gay until i married you - MM
- Trafalgar Square 2013
- Hector co-bait
- Mr Ayo - Lagos-Porto-Novo (probably x3) "You lier. I will not for-give Because you waste my money. you lier."
x 236 |
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:03 pm |
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I've sent him the picture of my car.
Next he'll get a picture of me being served a brandy by Jeeves before I leave.
Do you think he'll notice they're waxworks dummies ? |
_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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N.O.R.A
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: Enjoying all the love from Africa.
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:18 pm |
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GomerPyle wrote: |
Do you think he'll notice they're waxworks dummies ? |
Well, I thought they were typical Englanders. |
_________________ "I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,IT WILL DO A LOT OF WONDERS TO MY BODY" [Lad being baited since May 2009]
"Yes,Miss N0ra is a prostitute,a slut and a professional harlot." [Another Lad, being baited since May 2009, to one of my characters]
[ + + + ] x some
"set him straight first on the pimple soaps and cleansers,then suggest the other..
we don't want a pimpley,less wrinkly botoxed man running loose" [SlapHappy]
My Mentor is a young, hot, sexy man or woman.
"I'm a girl." [Slightlyoutofit] |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:28 am |
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Yes, I thought they were real, too, Gomer. The British are so stiff. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:47 am |
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slappy wrote: |
The British are so stiff. |
Arf!
(Did you know the British are also fond of double entenders?)
Have a simply spiffing journey, Bertie old chap, try not to dent Johnny Foreigner too badly along the way. Pip pip!
I do love the idea of him giving you directions - from England to Spain - I do hope they're detailed enough - perhaps he can send you maps of the whole route? |
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Wright B Hindyou
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 1795
Location: Bangkok
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:11 am |
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I say! Ripping, what? Don't those French chappies drive on the wrong side of the road? Bounders! |
_________________ "YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMANITY" - Douglas Minning
"bastard like you, I will kill you with my hand, son of nobody. May your soul rust in help." - Titi Andrew
"I trusted you very much without knowing that you are a drug addit person" - Emma Bambara
"THIS YOUR BEHAVIOR IS IRELEVANT AND CROSPOLOS CARACTER" - Madam Clarrise Keita.
"you must speak beter because we dont train mad people in this company." - Incredible Self-Baiting Pastor Joe |
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angusmactavish
419Eater is my life
Joined: 21 Aug 2004
Posts: 252
Location: Oglethorpe's colony Atlantic (GMT-5)
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:17 am |
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I've used Bertie Wooster several times myself. Last time I evidently went over the edge as I droned on and on about Sir Watkin Bassett and lost my lad. |
_________________ U BE MAGA U ARE VERY WICKED I MUST TELL AND STUPID - Charles Blaise
Listen, my contact with you in this transaction does not warrant you to insult my personality for any reason. - Godwin Luis
x18 |
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:47 pm |
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Clearly you pushed it too far angus.
I quite like my Bertie Wooster character. It's worrying that I play an English upper class bumbling old fool so well.
I have a recording of my call to him with a few small gems like "Spain's abroad is it ?" and "You mean I have to go through France ?".
I have found that I can only do impersonations if I try to get the throat and mouth correctly aligned, and in this accent it involves pulling your lower lips tight with thecheeks and flexing your throat muscles rigid, and without moving the lips, speaking using just your tongue which is why I appear to be gasping for breath when I speak, but that suits the character brilliantly.
http://Gomer.fileave.com/BertieGoesToSpain.mp3
He is so polished and smooth, and his nerves are grated nicely by the end.
I had an uncle who spoke an even more extreme version of this, but I won't try it on a smarter Spanish Lad. The funny thing is that the extreme version is virtually unintelligible. Anyone who has seen the 'Fast Show' will know what I mean.
I sent him this message afterwards
Quote: |
I have had the car serviced and topped up the petrol tank and will be leaving home, by car, on Monday.
I have obtained a map, as you suggested, and have worked out a route and should be able to get to you by the end of the week. (That could be an over optimistic estimate judging by the car in the picture) I have stocked up on food as I doubt they have items like toast and marmalade in the hostelries that I will find en route, but if I have to make do with goats' cheese and other local delicacies, I'll try to do my best with them.
Do they serve English breakfasts in Madrid ?
I'll be holding a small dinner party prior to departing and will send you a photo if I have time. |
I bet you HE likes the photo.
Anyway, he appears to have spoken to his pals and has been advised that this is an encounter he should avoid at all costs.
Quote: |
i dont understand you.are you with the fees for clearance and other payments.I will not want your coming to Madrid to be in vain and moreso,we are not for a party.So know what you are coming for and call me before any move is made to enable me give you guidelines of what you should expect. |
No such bloody luck. I've purchased new goggles for the trip.
I'll drag him through every bloody mile and guest house, with brushes with the gendarmes and border police. Perhaps I'll start with an encounter with a hovercraft. |
_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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N.O.R.A
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: Enjoying all the love from Africa.
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Posted:
Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:29 pm |
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He is rude. Tourist information and not so good weather...
GP, your accent is absolutely fabulous. |
_________________ "I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,IT WILL DO A LOT OF WONDERS TO MY BODY" [Lad being baited since May 2009]
"Yes,Miss N0ra is a prostitute,a slut and a professional harlot." [Another Lad, being baited since May 2009, to one of my characters]
[ + + + ] x some
"set him straight first on the pimple soaps and cleansers,then suggest the other..
we don't want a pimpley,less wrinkly botoxed man running loose" [SlapHappy]
My Mentor is a young, hot, sexy man or woman.
"I'm a girl." [Slightlyoutofit] |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:35 pm |
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This one really tickles my funnybone. Great bait, Gomer. I like the voice too. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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devil_woman
Baiting Guru
Joined: 20 Mar 2009
Posts: 3382
Location: Anywhere
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Posted:
Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:45 pm |
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I think you should get your man Jeeves to give her a good polish old man. Can't let the side down don't ye know! |
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny
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Posted:
Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:53 pm |
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Nice call Gomer.
he seems to have an attitude problem. |
_________________ "nice try you want to spam my box asshole"
"fuck u and that of your company".
"ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"FUCK YOU".
"I know person like you fucking scammer".
"FUCK YOU ASHOLE".
"fuck off" Mr Fr@nk Ch@ka
"You are nothing but a crook and a liar,how could you send a fake transfer receipt to me and think that you can fool me".
M00seknuckle co-bait Mrs ldris, Abidjan to Cotonou P3ter x2, Nigeria to Cotonou, Warri to Abuja
x? (only Alan knows)
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE PORN]</a> |
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:55 pm |
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I was really pushing it to try this on a European 419er so I'll pick a West African one next time. I have a few on the go to choose from.
Quote: |
I JUST DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE A BIG,BIG FOOOOOOL.
DO YOU THINK I AM A GAY LIKE YOU. |
I got the reply in today, not quite actual size.
I told him that I thought croissants must the result of the cook sneezing into an oil filled frying pan. I was even complaining about 'Johnny Foreigners'.
What I like is "I just discovered...". You mean I did something to give myself away ? I think that translates as "I just discovered what a fool I am".
I can't wait for Bertie's next escapade. |
_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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Star A Star
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Posts: 821
Location: Chad Central
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Posted:
Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:32 pm |
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have a care old man don't proceed without the red flag man |
_________________ X 27
i am tired and i am waisting my morning
i am tired of all these rusbish, i am waisiting my time andf mone
Ok i will try and take the form to my staff members, once i get the form filled, i am not ready to fill another form, make sure that this is all the forms, i am going to fill them and once i get them done, i will not fill another form
If you see how i was insulted in the western union office, you will pitty me - nope you're wrong there pal |
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny
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Posted:
Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:40 pm |
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_________________ "nice try you want to spam my box asshole"
"fuck u and that of your company".
"ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"FUCK YOU".
"I know person like you fucking scammer".
"FUCK YOU ASHOLE".
"fuck off" Mr Fr@nk Ch@ka
"You are nothing but a crook and a liar,how could you send a fake transfer receipt to me and think that you can fool me".
M00seknuckle co-bait Mrs ldris, Abidjan to Cotonou P3ter x2, Nigeria to Cotonou, Warri to Abuja
x? (only Alan knows)
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE PORN]</a> |
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N.O.R.A
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: Enjoying all the love from Africa.
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Posted:
Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:53 pm |
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GomerPyle wrote: |
I can't wait for Bertie's next escapade. |
Neither can I.
But is it that the lad didn't want to be in contact with someone who he thought was a gay? Everybody is after pink money nowadays... |
_________________ "I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,IT WILL DO A LOT OF WONDERS TO MY BODY" [Lad being baited since May 2009]
"Yes,Miss N0ra is a prostitute,a slut and a professional harlot." [Another Lad, being baited since May 2009, to one of my characters]
[ + + + ] x some
"set him straight first on the pimple soaps and cleansers,then suggest the other..
we don't want a pimpley,less wrinkly botoxed man running loose" [SlapHappy]
My Mentor is a young, hot, sexy man or woman.
"I'm a girl." [Slightlyoutofit] |
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