Getting an oga on safari, and a ladette jailed

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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:32 pm

My God, Juan, beninboi is such an ass!!

I love that you are just under his skin. I wish I could see him typing his responses to you. That would be such fun! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:38 pm

It's funny how this lads take so much of their time to write these whining E-mails and they can actually those time to do other meaningful things.

It looks like these lads still want to "help" you get your "inheritance". So the baiting might continue indefinitely...which means more time wasting for them!

Keep up the good job there, Doc and Juan. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:49 pm

Just wanted to add my tardy but sincere compliments for a highly amusing, kick-arse scam. Hope you can get even more mileage out of it!

bow_down

Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 2:47 pm

I just love it when I can crawl under a lad's skin with my fake lad's taunts.

Lagos lad wrote:

HEY, YOU BASTARD SON OF A BASTARD MOTHER, I THOUGHT BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A MURRANO JEEP OR ANY LATEST JEEP IN TOWN OR A CUSTOM LICENSED JEEP AND CALL ME FOR A CELEBRATION.
I WANT US TO MEET ONE ON ONE, FACE TO FACE SO THAT WE KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER TO ENABLE YOU GET TRAINED AND KNOW HOW YOU TALK TO PEOPLE IN AUTHORITY OR PEOPLE THAT ARE BIGGER AND BETTER THAN YOU ARE, FOOL.
CALL ME ON PHONE SO THAT WE CAN MEET IN ANY OF THOSE PLACES I LISTED OUT FOR YOU:
1. FESTAC
2. DULFIN ESTATE
3. OR ANY JOINT IN IKOYI OR VICTORIA ISLAND
4. BETTER STILL, MAKE A CHOICE OF A PLACE WHERE WE CAN MEET AND I WILL BE THERE ALONE WITH YOU ONE ON ONE.
I AWAIT YOUR PHONE CALL OR MAIL, FOOL, BASTARD SON ORF A BASTARD MOTHER.

I figured this is the perfect point to plug in my favorite "invitation" modality. This never fails to get a rise out of lads:

my fake lad character wrote:

HEY SMALLBOI U R RIGHT, I SHULD INVITE 2 MY CELEBRATION .I WILL HAV A BIG PARTY 2 CELBRATE ALL DI MONEY AND GIFTS I CHOP FROM U .I INVITE ALL MY FRENDS FOR A REALY BIG PARTY WIT LOTS OF FOOD .I WAN U 2 COME TOO OKAY .I NEED U 2 CLEAN UP DE GARBAGE AND DE TOILETS AFTER ITS ALL FINISH .U CAN USE UR TONGUE 4 CLEANING DI TOILETS LAIK USUAL OKAY. I PAY U GOOD ,I GIV U 20 NAIRA AN U CAN CHOP ALL DE LEFTOVER GARBAGES U WANT .DI PARTY BE ON NEXT SATURDY ALL DAY .I LOOK 4 U THEN OKAY .TELL UR MAMA 2COME TOO ,SHE CAN **** ALL DE GUYS AT DE PARTY AN I PAY HER DUBLE HER USUAL PRICE .BUT TELL HER 2 WASH HER TOTO THIS TAIM BEFOR OKAY BECOS LAST TIME EVERONE SAY SHE STINK .

I think it's getting close to the point that I should introduce him to a real Lagos-based lad... Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Mar 2009 Posts: 13

For the next taunt you could say that:

I could invite you someplace 10 km away but you're so poor, you wouldn't be able to make it. Forget a Murano, you would probably have to borrow a bicycle. If you couldn't make it to Simba and had to send Beninboi ... and Beninboi had to send a girl ... what makes you think you would show up for my party? You would probably send your sister or your mother. People who come to my party don't show up on bicycles. They show up in Jeeps.

(Reminds him that NOT taking the trip is what cost him)

Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 4:08 pm

Can't wait to see what is said about HER TOTO. Razz

Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 4:55 pm

@I want to help you: great suggestions, thanks! Very Happy

I just sent a followup to the lad based on your idea:

my fake lad wrote:

HEY SMALLBOI I KNOW U NEVER COME ANYWAY COS U R SO POOR U CAN NEVER MAIK IT OK. FORGET A MURANO U WOULD PROBLY HAV 2 BOROW A BICYCLE ,U FOOOOOOOOOL. U COULDNT EVEN GO 2 SAFARI CAMP 2 TAKE MEONEY DI MAGA WANT 2 GIVE U COS U R JUSS A BEGGER SO U SEND MUMU BASTERD PAUL INSTEAD. AN HE IS SUCH A BIG BABY DAT HE SEND A GIRL INSTEAD OF HIM GO HIMSELF. HE TALK BIG BUT HE IS BIG CAWARD LIKE U. SO WHY I WOULD THINK U WOULD COME 2 MY PARTY BASTERDFOOL? U WOULD PROBLY SEND UR ASHAWO SISTER INSTEAD .PEPL WHO COME TO MY PART DON SHOW UP ON BICYCLES OKAY .THEY DRIVE JEEPS LIKE BIG BOIS .I CANT BELIVE MUGU LIKE U EXISTS, BECOS U SHOULD HAVE DIED BEFOR NOW WITH UR STUPIDITY. U WILL NOT GET ANY WESTERN UNION MONEY IN DI FUTURE EITHER, I WILL TAKE ALL UR MAGAS AND I WILL GET MONEY FROM DEM ALL COS I'M NOT A MUGU LIKE U ,I NO HOW TO DO JOBS AND TAKE DI MONEY

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I'm really enjoying your fake lad Juan. Laughing

That is hysterical. You are soooooo good at that. Twisted Evil

I bet he wants to chop him into itty bitty pieces.

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:12 am

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Mar 2009 Posts: 13

I think these guys have a feudal system there. These lads must surely have "role models" that they look up to in awe. It is the stories of these "role models" that has made him want to be a scammer too. How would these "role models" treat the little wannabe scammer like our lad? With total disdain and pinch of pity, no?

Now that the lad has seen the disdain, I don't think he can reply with any aggression. Maybe if the bigboi throws in a little pity, he could make sure the lad (who could be smitten with admiration) run a little errand for him to, say, Cameroon to prove his worth.

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:37 pm

Uh-oh, my Benin lad made a small mistake.

He emailed Susan this morning with a very short "I hope you arrived safely" message. I replied with suitable anger:

Susan wrote:

Dear Sir:

I did get back safely very late on Friday. I am extremely busy this weekend catching up on things after being away more than two weeks.

I think it is best that I not say anything further at this time because I am still furious over your email yesterday and I am extremely likely to lose my temper.

I do NOT appreciate the way you speak to me. I never have and I suspect I never will. You are arrogant, condescending, and insulting.

Mr. Abule has assured me he can complete all this without your involvement. That suits me fine.

Well, evidently he meant to forward that email to the Lagos lad but he accidentally sent it to Susan instead, with this note:

by mistake, Benin Big Boi wrote:

My Guy,

What is this about?? You never got back to me again knowing what I am going through with the lady Josiane'e Family & not minding my losses in the business but, went ahead on a different cruise with Susan.

I want to hear from you in earnest.

Rgds,

Sir P.

Needless to say this will leave Susan very confused. Sir P.? Losses in the business? My Guy? He's got some explaining to do.

And it sounds like maybe things are still not resolved with Mrs. Josiane. What a shame. Wink

EDIT: he caught his mistake quickly but his explanation will not endear him to Susan:

Benin Big Boi wrote:

Dear Susan,

My earlier message was the mail I sent to Mr Abule because like you see he is most likely on a different cruise with you for telling you he or anyone at that can do it.

I will rest my case here and await the result of all your intended cruise but, like I said earlier your transaction is been put on hold pending my summons by the Senate committee on Claims payment who will then hear my full complete report either for or against you as that is the only body that can sumon me to know why the '' Hold action'' which I will tell them that I am not fully convinced concerning the Claims based on my experiences with your visit in which case I shall present the with all our correspondences including those involving your wild ecstacy but, where I am not summoned then, it will be just as I left it closed until such a time deemed convenient to re-open it - Like I told you I shall guide until after your impending loss in the Gold Pipe Dream business and possible loss too in this line since, you think by your sense of judgment you earnestly think someone can over ride my desk to conclude this transaction for you without my report or can push my report under the carpet to release the Claims to you - What a devilish relief/ re-assurance to you.

I am not at all angry at your abuse being a lady asI do get it once a while from my Wife and that helps in strengthening our marriage Rolling Eyes

- So, be free after you have suffered the great blow to turn back to me like the Prodigal son did to the Father and had a good feast to the bargain and same measure of respite awaits you if only you can at every point reason and reflect on my messages and quit being gross.

Suzzy,just BECAREFUL is my message for safety of your dealings.

Regards,

Ed.

"Suzzy"??? Oh yeah, that's the way to win her over. Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:56 pm

Quote:

the Senate committee on Claims payment who will then hear ... all our correspondences including those involving your wild ecstacy

Lucky devils! Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:30 pm

What's all this about being on a cruise with Susan... Do they think Susan wants to be on a cruise with that sorry lot?

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:49 am

Susan finally read the Benin lad's emails, and replied to each one as she read them.

Susan wrote:

Why are you calling me "My Guy"???? That is not only rude, it is utterly wrong. And what is going on with Mrs. Josiane? You never updated me.

And what do you mean about your losses in the business? Do you mean my business? What losses? Is my fund reduced? If so there will be hell to pay! I demand an explanation.

Cruise? What cruise? I haven't talked about taking a cruise, and most surely I wouldn't ever do one with you. Something is VERY fishy here.

And why are you signing it "Sir P"? I thought your name was Dr. Edward Onanuga.

What in hell is going on? I want answers.

Susan wrote:

DON'T EVER call me "Suzzy," do you understand????????? I cannot stand your patronizing, misogynistic attitude. You revolt me. You may NOT call me "Suzzy," in fact you may NOT call me Susan. I am Mrs. P3rcise to you. You are a revolting, despicable man and I do not want to have even the slightest degree of familiarity with you.

I am a proper woman and I will not accept your condescension. I prefer never to hear from you again. I deeply dislike you. I do not wish to have anything to do with you ever again. You disgust me.

He's being cut off by his own partner and (again) dissed by his maga. He's got an upward road to climb. Wink

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Mar 2009 Posts: 13

I guess it's curtains for the doctor.

Elite Baiter Joined: 15 Sep 2008 Posts: 1006

^^^^ Just to let your know, your signature made me laugh....in a good way, I mean. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:41 pm

The Benin lad really has shown himself to be condescending and misogynistic throughout this bait, but it really bubbled to the top after Susan's last email. He blew up this morning and sent this gem twice in rapid succession. A great example of how not to win over a rich maga:

Benin Big Boi wrote:

Listen Woman,

You are not only disgusting but, irritating to say the least and I do not intend to have anything to do with you ever again which means that you either forget about the Funds because as long as you continue writing rubbish to me -YOU WILL NEVER LAY A FINGER ON A DIME OF THOSE FUNDS or you grow up as your actions are informed by the things Mr Ronald worked which you are giving Wings to fly away as you shall shortly see If you fail to wake up and reason normally.

That I condescend this low to talk to a despicable, classless, nonentity daughter of eve like you is because of my respect for the dead Ronald and not for a shameless scum called Susan who has no decorum for Womanhood.

I & Abule has pet names for ourselves as he calls me Sir Perfect / Sir P for my penchant for perfection and I call him my G, or My Guy which has nothing with you and the Cruise mentioned is why he told you he can conclude the transaction without me which to me will be another cruise in futility.

My losses are the monies I spent in securing the release of Madam Josiane & the classified documents whom your carelessness due to your insatiable lust caused her detention and the time I wasted staying in Cotonou over your issue.

I will sit and watch everything Ronald left for you develope wings and fly away as you go on your wild goose chase of the Gold pipe dream and other mirage since your reasoning is governed by Whims.

Bye,

Dr Edward Onanuga.

If there are any women baiters here who would like to vent some anger after a hard day at the office, I'm sure Dr. Ed would just love to get a middle-of-the-night phone call from an irate, screaming Susan. Wink

This is a guy who truly deserves to be cut down several notches.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Mar 2009 Posts: 13

Let's compare two people here:

Beninboi was condescending, and got NADA NOTHING ZIPPO while Mr Brown was nice and got a $10,000 retainer (even though we didn't go ahead with the deal).

Beninboi was too dumb to make it to 5imba while Mr Brown received free room and board (and a suite) at one of the most luxurious safari camps in all of Africa.

Beninboi sent a girl who got detained. While Beninboi helplessly sat there by his computer, Mr Brown actually went out (like a REAL man) to try to save/help her.

Beninboi has made sure that a rich widow never wants to see him again, while Mr. Brown is trying to secure a visa to visit the widow in the US.

Beninboi is writing Mr Rhodes' boss to complain while Mr Brown has received a voucher for three free nights at 5imba for the inconveniences that he had to endure during his stay.

Isn't it clear the Beninboi and Mr Brown aren't even in the same league???

Maybe a little taunt from Mr Brown is forthcoming?

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:36 pm

^^^
Not to forget the biggest one: Susan wired $1.25M this morning to Mr. Brown's bank account to invest in his gold mining venture. It's a long-term investment so she's not concerned about any immediate returns. Wink

And Mr. Brown has indeed been taunting the lad accordingly, but Benin Boi is apparently just too blind to recognize the obvious.

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:50 pm

wake up and reason normally.

Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:09 pm

Susan just forwarded Benin Boi's insulting email to the Lagos lad. That lad isn't very bright, but I'm sure he's just smart enough to realize what a great maga they're losing. I would imagine there will be some interesting discussions between the lads. Wink

to the Lagos lad, Susan wrote:

Dear Mr. Abule,

Just look what Dr. Onanuga wrote to me this morning! Can you believe this?? What kind of important bank representative would speak to a customer in this manner? He calls me "disgusting", "despicable", "classless" and much more. This is utterly unacceptable.

And the nerve of this man, threatening to hold MY money hostage! He has no legal right to do such a thing. He cannot interfere with my payment based only on his dislike of my telling him the truth.

I think I need to call the Central Bank of Nigeria directly and lodge a strong complaint. I will not tolerate being treated in this manner. How dare he insult a woman of my age and social standing?

I will deal with this later. Right now I must leave for an appointment with my banker so I can send a wire transfer of $1,250,000 to Mr. Brown's account to invest in his gold mining venture. I think that is an excellent long-term investment, much better than the stock market.

I will contact you later, or tomorrow, after I decide how to deal with Dr. Onanuga's insults.

Sincerely,
Susan

PS: Why do you and Dr. Onanuga have lovey-dovey pet names for each other? Are you gay lovers or something?

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:37 pm

Quote:

PS: Why do you and Dr. Onanuga have lovey-dovey pet names for each other? Are you gay lovers or something?

I literally spit pizza out all over my computer screen. Very well played!

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:30 pm

Wow. Just...wow. Beninboi deserves some serious lad pain. I would LOVE to make that phone call! Problem is I haven't signed up for Skype yet. I keep meaning to get around to it...just haven't yet.

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:16 pm

^^^
No time like the present. Wink

I'm sure you would do Susan proud, and the lad would be delighted to have a civil chat at 3AM. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:32 pm

Juan, I will sign up for Skype tonight. I would LOVE to be Susan for a night!

I'll PM you later...

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