5imba 5afari Nigeria to Cameroon. Lad is back home

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Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:14 pm

I think I need a refund application form. Deuzer, do you have any of those?

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:17 pm

Dramaqueen wrote:

The wonderful attention from the 5imba camp by Doc .......you were all over this what a great job. Thumbs up

.

Actually, I would really like to publicly thank Doc for his tremendous efforts in keeping the SSC modality open for business during my continued absence.

He has done a marvellous* job and has enhanced the SSC reputation for wonderful* customer service that we have through-out Africa..... clapping

*From the mugu point of view, please substitute the positives with the following negatives....Terrible*, Appalling*......

You baiters know what I mean..... Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:22 pm

@Doc: Unfortunately I don't have suitable form.

He has started working again. Looks like he is about to start to chase his inheritance:

Quote:

Dear, Ms Fanny,

I received your mail and your contents sound serious but I will not blame you it is my fault. Can you please give me Judge Email address and telephone number so that I can contact him immediately. For the fact that you said that you will not represent me again, I will not force you or beg you rather that is a good idea.

Thanks
Mr. Oloye Fanfare

Quote:

Dear Oloye,

I can't give you the Judge's phone number, it is unlisted and I have no right to spread it around without his permission. I can also tell you from experience that he is very old fashioned and he never discusses about important matters over the phone. He wants that there is always a record in writing about everything so he can revert back to his correspondence if needed.

His personal email is [email protected], he usually checks it every morning before he leaves for work and again late afternoon after he returns from work. I hope this information helps you.

Best Regards,
Fanny

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:27 pm

have I got time to stretch my legs and take a leak before Screw Lad II (Judgement Day) commences

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:39 pm

@Doc: Make sure the refund form asks for bank account info for fastest processing. Actually I could whip up a form for you if you like.

I'm with Simba. DSW you've done fantastic work maintaining the 5imba modality and enhanced an already incredible bait by Deuzer.

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:35 pm

Thank you, Bohigal and Simba for the kind words. I am having a good time with this. It was SSC that got my first four safaris, so it is a modality that I know well, and love. I happen to have some free time right now wheil Simba is on sabbatical, and I am glad to be of service.

This modality of yours, Simba, is a safari machine, and it is an honour and a privilege to be able to steward it in your absence.

Deuzer, though, gets all the credit. It was his skillfull baiting that got this mugu to buy plane tickets, and that takes a very deft hand to get to that stage. Handing SSC a lad who is willing to travel makes it all easier for me.

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:40 pm

Where is Corona for the group hug?

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:50 pm

I need to give the extra special thanks to redshoes17 for the amazing phone calls and for all other great help she provided. The SSC organization failed like dream and the lad had a hopefully unforgettable holiday.

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:24 pm

Deuzer wrote:

The SSC organization failed like dream.

I love that quote....... Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:32 pm

I just wanted to pop in here and offer my BRAVO for yet another incredible SSC safari. It has brought back such sweet memories for me of my own SSC safari last year. I've been focusing more on straight baiting and site killing lately, but I'm feeling inspired to attempt another safari of my own. I've started on a few lads, but most of them are just so skittish these days! And knowing that makes your success here all the more impressive.

Thanks for the entertainment - and congratulations for getting one more slimy mugu cockroach off the game and out of pocket for a few days!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:26 pm

He has now contacted the judge:

Quote:

Attention: Judge,

This email message might come to you as a surprise but please bear with me and have in mind that something makes me to get back to you. I am Mr. Oloye Fanfare the next of kin to Father Ana Loppning. Due to some certain reason I want to you to make an arrangement on how to send all the documents which will be sign by me through DHL Courier Company so that I will sign it and resend it back to you for the final confirmation of your approval.

Coming to Finland will be very hard for me so I suggest signing it here and sending the documents back. I hope you will accept my offer.

I wait anxiously to hear from you.

Yours Truly,
Mr. Oloye Fanfare.

His proposition is naturally out of the question. He seems to be suspecting something, he sent a short one to Fanny. I have no idea what he is trying to say:

Quote:

Dear,

Well, all your email messages remind me something but I will not say anything until I heard what the Judge will say.

Good day.

Oloye

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:45 pm

Oloye the lost Safari Lad wrote:

Well, all your email messages remind me something but I will not say anything until I heard what the Judge will say.

Yeah...it reminds him of all the NOK scams pulled on Westerners by all of his compatriots! Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:57 pm

Cachuma wrote:

I'm feeling inspired to attempt another safari of my own. I've started on a few lads, but most of them are just so skittish these days!

@Cachuma - May I suggest that you concentrate on findinga likely laddie from Jo'burg.
We have a new 'sister' camp to the Morem1 camp in Botswana that you visited last year.

The new location is....Mozambique... Very Happy

http://thesimbasafarigroupltd.webs.com/index.htm

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:01 pm

The judge sent him a reply:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Fanfare,

This is to inform you that I have successfully received your message. I remember your case and Miss Minge has briefed me about current status of it. I am sorry to hear about all problems you run into when trying to meet Miss Minge in Cameroon, she has handed the documents that were in her possession back to me. I will review them as soon as possible and I will get back to you after I am familiar with the details.

Meanwhile, I would appreciate if you could tell me why you are using name ?

Best Regards,
Judge Bög Kukjävel
District Court of Olematon

If you are interested what judge's name means, it is Swedish and can be checked from Insultmonger

Olematon is the town in Finland where Fanny lives and it translates to "Not existing"

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:01 pm

I would LOVE to find another Jo'burg lad. All the Jo'burg lads I've baited seem to have a much better grasp of the English Language than Nigerian lads, so you can get a bit more creative in your exchanges. And in working that safari, I certainly got to know the geography of the area extremely well!

I'll see what I can do. Meanwhile I'll just live vicariously through Deuzer and Juan, as they continue to twist their SSC lads into new knots. Smile

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:14 am

Deuzer, I was wondering if it would be okay for "Sir Winston", an old character who was, for several baits, the "owner" of SSC, to contact your lad about the claims.

Bohigal has some complaint forms in the making which I would love to use on this lad.

Let me know if that is okay. This is your prize gem of a lad!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:03 am

Here me was, dr! Very Happy

Great job everyone and loved the calls, redshoes! Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:58 am

@Doc,

Sir Winston is welcome to contact Oloye, he needs something to do while the judge is studying his case. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:27 am

This came in overnight:

Quote:

Attention:

Judge Bög Kukjävel
District Court of Olematon

It is a great pleasure working with your character in relates to this transaction. Actually, you might have been told what I went through in the Cameroon but to be honest with you, I see hell in Cameroon and I made a decision within myself that nothing will ever make to travel to Cameroon in my life. Do you know that I spent all I have to the extend of selling my wrist watch at Douala International Airport otherwise I could have been in Cameroon by now.

Anyway, let me go straight to what is present and your question. The reason why I choose to be using the name is because of one criminal that has been monitoring our conversation and answering my name in order to divert me out and put himself as Mr. 0loye Fanfare and obtain what belong to me. So I investigated that this criminal has put a spy into Miss Minge and Mr. Penti computer for a long time so I explain all theses to them and requested that they should reformat their computer immediately to avoid any hitch or iota of impersonated.

Therefore, don’t mind me but for security reason and to avoid that criminal not knows that I am the one. I believe Ms. Minge could have elucidated you all these things. In respect to your response I will be pleased about you sending the documents directly to my address through DHL Courier Company so that I can be able to sign it and resend it back to you. That could have been more easy and prompt.

I wait anxiously to hear from you as soon as possible.

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:55 pm

"Sir Winston Rodney Biggleswade Brixham St Austel on the Moor" wrote:

Dear Mister Onanism,

I received a copy of some communications from our tech people at Simba Safaris tht I am concerned about, but before I talk about this, can you please tell me what happened?

Thank you,

Sir Winston Rodney Biggleswade Brixham St Austel on the Moor

Bohiga, I look forward to having you handle customer service!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:07 pm

dr stephen williams wrote:

Deuzer, I was wondering if it would be okay for "Sir Winston", an old character who was, for several baits, the "owner" of SSC, to contact your lad about the claims.

Sir Winston rises from the grave..... Shocked

I take it that his previous death in Pendjari, didn't actually finish him off..... Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:20 pm

Sir Winston has now engaged in two customer service problems, one for Juans lad and the other with Deuzers lad....

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:27 pm

I hope that Sir Winston is successful in his work. Meanwhile, the judge has "studied" Oloyes papers and sent his verdict:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Fanfare,

Plese let me express again my sympathy and compassion regarding your unfortunate trip to Cameroon. I have known Miss Minge for years and I am sure that she is not the one to blaim for your misery. I talked briefly to her and I recommend that you pursue your legal and moral right to get compensation from the 5imba 5afari camp. This is not my official advise, just my personal opinion. I can't stand poor customer service and to me, your experience counts as worst possible example of it.

Regarding your documents, I can not act against the law even if I think that in this case it would be the best solution. Unfortunately, my personal opinion doesn't count and the law explicitly says that the documents must be signed in the presence of the executioner of the will. Therefore, I am forced to reject your request.

I understand very well that this situation is very uncomfortable for you, apparently you don't have funds to cover your travel costs to sign the documents and the deadline of April 8th. is closing. If you wish to apply for extension for time to arrange your matter further, you are welcome to send an extension application for me. The application must identify your case, yourself and the reason(s) why you are applying for extension. The application must be dated and signed by you and a reliable witness. I can grant 2 weeks extension at a time and the process can be repeated to apply several consecutive extensions.

Regarding the criminal who has been interfering with your communication, do you think that he has lost your trace? If you wish, we can utilize an encryption system for secure communication to avoid any interference in our communication.

Best Regards,
Judge Bög Kukjävel
District Court of Olematon

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:32 pm

I think this bait is done, he is suspicious and doesn't want to do anything that might be not risky-free for him. Maybe it is best to give up and try a rebait later. Hopefully Sir Winston has some luck with him. If anyone wants to have a go with him, PM for his email addys and phone number.

Quote:

Attention:

Judge Bög Kukjävel

District Court of Olematon

Your email message is received. Well, to be frank with you I have not heard such policy but let me tell you. If the documents cannot send to me through DHL Courier Company so that I will sign it here and resend it back to you kindly forget about this deal entirely. I am having bad feelings towards this deal. So forget about the whole thing if you cannot send the document to me. Keep the money and make use of it including Ms.Fanny Minge.

What I spent in this deal is paining me so I cannot spend again until I recover what I spent.

Good day and bye.
Mr. Oloye Fanfare.

Quote:

Dear Fanny,

Please I just want to let you know that am through with you people. If the documents cannot send to me I cannot proceed with you people again.

Good day
Oloye

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:56 pm

Deuzer, I have passed this lad onto Bohigal to send a hilarious form to. If this lad fills it in, I will piss myself with laughter.

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