Getting an oga on safari, and a ladette jailed

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Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Excellent work guys.
Persistence does pay off and a few WTF emails can't hurt either.
Lads running around frustrated, confused, and having pains just brings an evil smile to my face.
Now he has lost his new laptop too, that sucks for him. Razz

I think the Benin stimulus package is a great thing.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:30 pm

Well, I got up this morning to a flurry of emails. It's self-evident that the diplomat is much smarter than my original lad. I'd like to think he's my lad's oga but I doubt it. I still believe he's Benin-based and that's why he was recruited. We'll see. This morning he's claiming to be in Cotonou but he's lying. Although the IP is not identical to yesterday's, it's in the same general location, outside Parakou.

My lad wrote two messages but there's no point in posting them. Just blah-blah contact the diplomat yada yada. The Benin lad has taken this over. And he's wily:

the diplomat wrote:

Dear Madam Susan,

I am in due receipt of your mail with it's attendant harsh contents owing to your misplacement of my sentiments.

Anyway, let us not be gross with our goodselves because of ego and deal with specifics. But, it beats my imagination why you should give out my newly acquired numbers to someone else who probably passed it on to a mystery caller who called me up last night asking if I am still in Benin Republic and would like to know where he can meet me because if you have the interest of this transaction at heart like you informed earlier then, you could have held every information relating to it very close to your heart and not divulge it to any third party excepting if the call was an errorneous one but,it leaves a soured taste in the mouth for a new chip .

You mentioned a Mr Rhodes without information on how I can get at him but, if you are in the camp I presume you are in which now is about 870Km from me - There is a Thuraya calll service available and you can make do with it to reach me for a better understanding rather than bickerings & squabblings that is inimical to our success and will do us no good as it is not generally healthy moreover I desire to meet the tough talking lady that you are as a child desires the breast milk of her mother.

I tried hotel La Majestic in Parakou and they informed me over the phone that they are not aware of any cab coming to them to pick people down to the camp and I had to pick up a car hire after securing my car with the hotel management of the place I lodged in Djougou that took me, my driver and personal assistant to the city of Cotonou from where I despatched my driver to Nigeria to go fetch my Mechanic from Nigeria to come down there to fix up the jeep and bring it back to Nigeria and I humbly ask you to leave the camp to enable us meet and deal with the issue that brought you to Africa and after that you may go and have your fun anywhere you please/deem fit as an adult because the machineries that was put in place for this transaction is getting weak by each passing day and need to be serviced to accomodate the plans for it's set up.

Moreso, Madam this transaction cannot achieve it's right purpose from the camp where there is no co-ordination but, has the potency of accomplishment within the time available if done/executed from a city like Cotonou where I have been talking to some good contact that will help us accelerate the execution of this blessed project with maximum speed.

Let me know when to expect you in the City as the said Mr Rhodes can help put you in a cab that can stress freely bring you down to Cotonou and comeback at any given day/date to take you back to the camp or anywhere else as I am here with all your Files and only need you to append your signatures on them and release the amount required for it's process and you can go back while I finalize the rest and get back to you again with full practical details of transaction prior to your departure date of 23rd - Do, ask Mr Rhodes to give you a cab to bring you down or take you to parakou from where you can board a flight down here to Cotonou.

Waiting to hear favourably from you today because my desk in the office will be piling up with files that desire my attention.

Thanks.

Dr Edward Onanuga.

I have no clue what's going on with the reference to his receiving a phone call. I have to believe that's a clever lie to call me out on the assumption I've told Uchenna/Williams all about this deal.

I was giving the situation some thought as I had my morning coffee, trying to decide my next course of action with this lad. Obviously if I step outside the camp my telephone avoidance excuses are shot.

But before I could work up a plan, another email came in:

the diplomat wrote:

On seconderment I thought to chip in that where you do not seem comfortable with travelling down to Cotonou If you can go to Parakou and I will arrange to meet you there since there is local flight from Cotonou to Parakou or you go to Niamey with your partner since that is the place you arrived from and shall also be boarding from so, that we can meet there and finalize this transaction once there and the Safari van can take you back to the camp thereafter.

But, please just inform me of your choice and when likely you will be there to enable us meet within an hour of our both arrival in any of your chosen option.

Niamey it is, then. That's a border crossing. Very Happy

But why should I bother to take the shuttle out to the airport and then back to the camp? Why not simply plan to meet at the airport on the day I fly back to Paris? I'm taking a midnight flight, we have all evening to sign documents and pay money....

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:39 pm

This is an interesting turn. My fake lad just got a reply from the Benin-based big shot:

diplomat wrote:

Dear Sir,

This Susan job was handed over to me by Mr Jude ( Omeogo ) to handle and I am Mr Paul resident here in Cotonou.

Let me say that I saw your mails to John Abule's box to see how you have been outsmarting him and only extending hand of friendship / understanding with the belief that you will receive it gladly before you or all of us might just regret.

I decided to hold myself from bursting you in the camp and making complete mess of you before the lady yesterday because I am aware you were to sleep with her yesterday since, you played well by not sleeping with her day before yesterday.

Come out of the camp and have your lap top that was errorneously given to you to yourself and let us discuss or I will storm there and the Gendramerie will chain your hands and take you liker a common criminal out and you shall miss the Woman forever because before you are done in jail the job must have been finished.

Make use of the Thuraya and call me + 97 148 xxx or e-mail me with direction and time of meeting.

I won't want to repeat myself and know that big heads are involved.

Rgds.

Sir P.

Ooohhh..... threats..... I like this. A lot. Very Happy

There are just so many ways I could go with this, including a safari for some lad-to-lad heart-to-heart.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:00 pm

Well, using the mileage definition rather than border crossing, I think this will qualify as a safari any moment, if not already. This has been a very busy day.

I figured a real lad wouldn't immediately yield and offer to share a prime job, so I answered the lad-to-fake lad email with smug bravado.

my fake lad wrote:

MY GUY ,FIRST I BE VERY CLEAR HERE ,U DONT SCARE ME OK.I AM A BIG BOI ,I AM NO FOOL LIKE OMEOGO .U CANT HURT ME AN U KNOW IT .I HAVE WORK THIS WOMAN SINCE LAST YEAR AN I GET BIG BIG MONEY .BUT NOW I GIV HER BILL FOR BIGEST JOB EVER .U R ONLY A NUISENCE 2 THIS END SO I ADVICE U TO STAY IN COTONOU AN LIVE THIS JOB 2 ME .IS NOT EASY TO FIND MAGA WHO HAS MONEY AN IS READY 2 PAY SO I WAS ANGRY WHEN IDIOT OMEOGO WRITE 2 HER BUT HE DO ME BIG FAVOR BY GET HER 2 COME HERE .HE WAS STUPID WHEN HE DECIDE NOT 2 WORK DI WOMAN HIMSELF BUT THAT WAS GOOD 4 ME .SO U JUSS KEEP OFF AND LET REAL GUYMAN DO HIS JOB OK .

REMAIN BLESS .

Hey, I was polite, wasn't I? Very Happy

I think the lad's response was rather rude -- especially in HUGE RED FONT. I'd wager his blood pressure was at 160/100:

angry lad wrote:

Anyway, I thought you were reasonable and so, decided to write you but, I can see I made a serious mistake by writing you - So, I am coming to see your BIG BOY not big boi like you spelt and other of your blunders.

I gave you my names and contact and even called your Charles Soludo who is afraid to pick calls. I will now test your guts/powers and please I beg of you stay in the camp with her and we shall see who the bigger Boy is in this French Land.

Illiteracy is a disease and you must suffer it for your unscrupulous attitude in response to my well tailored & articulate mail.

Wait for me because I am coming and do not run away from the camp as I was there at the gate with Omeogo and even paid the entrance fees before I advised Omeogo for us to return to my home for appraisal of the entire situation which informed my writing you scoundrel but, now is the time for battle of Wits and if you know or have anybody in Cotonou ask them of Paul and what he can do.

I must get you so, long you are in this Benin soil.

Bye.

I shot an answer right back. I wanted to get his pressure up to 180/120:

my fake lad wrote:

OH ,I'M SO SCARED OO! I'M AFRAID OOO! ABEG , DON HURT ME ! I'M AFRAID OF DI BIG SCARY GUYMAN ! HAV MERCY!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!1 O SURE, U SCARE ME SO MUCH ,U MUGU SON OF A BITCH CAWARD BASTARD MUGU OOOOOOOOOOO! U THINK U SCARE ME WIT UR SMALLBOI BOASTS. IF U WANT ME ,U COM GET ME OK .LET SEEING IF URE MAN OR MOUSE O!

FUCKUP SMALLBOY U GOT NOTHING .U COM C ME MABE IF U GET ON UR KNEES AN SUCK MY COCK I LET U HAV 50 CFA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

U DONT SCARE ME ASHOLE ,U TRY T GET ME EN I'LL KILL U AND ALL UR BASTARD BRODAS TOO OK . I'LL CUT OFF UR TINY PENIS AN SHOVE IT DOWN UR UGLY THROAT . DAD ,I'LL GUT U LIKE DI PIG U AR , U KNOW IT. U THINK U SHARP ,U NO KNOW SAY NA U BE DI BIGGEST FOOOOOOOOOL FOR THIS WORLD.GO TO HELL AND FUCK UR MOTHER,IDIOT, SONOFABITCH

BYE .

I think I succeeded in getting his blood pressure to the bursting point. He replied 10 minutes later in HUMONGOUS RED FONT:

Quote:

THANK YOU VERY SO MUCH.

I daresay he's going to be driving north again tomorrow. This is getting personal.....

Sorting through what he has said, I think I've figured out the hierarchy here. My original lad got the job going but when it started getting serious his oga, Mr. Jude (Omoego) cut a deal with the Cotonou lad to handle the face-to-face. The presumed oga, Omoego, went to Pendjari with this lad and one other (and bought 3 admission tickets, as we already knew) before having to turn around and go back to Cotonou to work out a new plan. Presumably Omoego is from Lagos, like my original lad, but I can't prove it. (The first lad's IP remains unchanged, he's stuck in Lagos, missing all the fun.)

Now the Benin lad has to defend his honor after being outsmarted and insulted. Hell, he's even pissed about the laptop. I think maybe tonight Susan will give my fake lad the Rolex she brought. Laughing

Meanwhile there has also been a flurry of mail between the original Lagos lad and the Benin lad with my character. Since he suggested Niamey, I agreed and said we can simply meet at the airport before I catch my flight home on the 25th. Then he turned around and insisted on Parakou again. Ain't gonna happen, but he won't hear back from Susan until tomorrow.

Then again, he may be driving then and not have time to read his mail. He has a lad to find, and maybe kill. Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:29 pm

Are you sure you're not able to make him meet another lad in this state? And make sure there's police present, not necessarily to arrest them, but to save one lad from the other?

Brilliant baiting!

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:36 pm

I'd say his blood pressure is way up.

Hilarious! clapping

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:37 pm

This makes sense, then.

I have RL work, so am on line for 2 minutes. Hopefully this will provide more info.

(Mod edit to obfuscate phone number and email, and delete unnecessary header detail. Thanks, Doc! - JF)

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:13 pm

Quote:

He was very appreciative.

I wonder how he showed his appreciation and if your lad knowing some details of this, er, event, would help to alleviate the effects of the salt being liberally dispensed by you cruel bastards in the same way having crushed chilli stuffed up his nostrils will help him feel warm and cosy.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:14 pm

When you reply, please leave out the Cotonou shuttle. That wouldn't serve any purpose if he's based there. I guess this might be a good time for the Parakou shuttle to have a mechanical breakdown for a few days, especially since he's changed his mind about my meeting him in Niamey and he wants me to go to Parakou. He's got to drive to the camp again, there's no other option. Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:28 pm

You know you WILL be going to heaven for dispensing punishment on the lad like this, don't you? And I'm not too sure that you'll be feeling at ease there with all this obvious evilness Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:56 pm

If you need any personalized phone messages left for him at Le Majestic in Parakou, I can help.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:21 pm

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:35 pm

Sweet!

I haven't posted Susan's correspondence today, it's nowhere near as fun as the ladfight. The only thing that mattered was arranging to meet the diplomat in Niamey, at his own suggestion:

in part, Susan wrote:

I suggest it will make much more sense if we arrange to meet at the airport on the evening of my departure on the 25th. My flight from Niamey to Paris is an overnight flight departing after midnight, at 12:40AM. I will be obliged to take the noon shuttle from the camp to the airport, so I will be stuck there all evening anyway. If you can arrange to meet me there around 6PM we can conclude the paperwork, enjoy a good dinner and get to know each other a bit, and I'll still have plenty of time to catch my flight. That will result in a lot less wasted time for both of us, assuming that you have all the proper documents in hand upon arrival.

He turned around and emailed saying forget about Niamey, we have to meet in Parakou. Then half an hour later he wrote again:

in part, the diplomat wrote:

Since your other found love is in Wild life I think that Cotonou would be most appropriate for our meeting as that will enable you access to visit Quiddah the snake village and another tourist masterpiece/cynosure as I was there half day today - So, that while I tackle the Fund release process after your eventual signing of the documents you can then kill two birds with a stone as you shall have places of interest to visit until I finalize all needed fund evacuation process.

There is nothing problematic about it and the roads are risk free as you can be rest assured that your safety is guaranteed in God's hand and not in any man but, the human angle also is sure as my palms are. . . . .

The main lad also wrote me but he's just a minor distraction now. This has turned into a battle between the Big Bois.

Susan will be sending out a couple of emails when she gets up in about 5 hours. The honorable doctor will need more blood pressure medication.

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:16 am

Where are the two lads, now?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 Mar 2009 Posts: 41

I have been a long time lurker to this site, but after this bait, I registered and had to post my compliments to you.

I am peeing myself thinking how the OGA tried to be businesslike and was slapped down by his inferior opponent...PRICELESS.

I'll be watching this one to see the outcome...it's better than the movies!

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:28 am

Thanks, BuilderBob! Very Happy

These lads are like gang members everywhere. "Face" means everything and they make a big show of their perceived importance. This Big Boy from Cotonou was really strutting his stuff, especially showing off his exceptional English skills, so for sure being mocked and laughed at by an inarticulate interloper writing in Pidgin just had to stick in his craw. Wink

Now he has to defend his honor. (Which will be very maligned tomorrow when my fake lad writes another taunt....)

@Doc, it appears they're in Cotonou, regrouping. He was very insistent that Susan meet him there but it's not going to happen.

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:36 am

How much longer does S have at SSC? I'd sure love to see these lads travel some more....

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:53 am

Susan leaves on the 25th so we have a week for them to keep trying. Wink

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:43 am

Classic convoluted and lad-pain bait. clapping

Pity you can't find a Lad prepared to pretend to be Williams Brown and go to Cotonou to confront the 'diplomat', with severe fustigation to follow..... Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Please let Susan give the other lad the watch. Please....
His head may blow completely off. Twisted Evil

These two lines cracked me up.

Diplomat ticked about the laptop wrote:

Quote:

Come out of the camp and have your lap top that was errorneously given to you to yourself and let us discuss or I will storm there and the Gendramerie will chain your hands and take you liker a common criminal out and you shall miss the Woman forever because before you are done in jail the job must have been finished.

He really wants that laptop back,lol...

Well tailored, articulate lad with big ego wrote:

Quote:

Illiteracy is a disease and you must suffer it for your unscrupulous attitude in response to my well tailored & articulate mail. Rolling Eyes

Well I am loving this lad fight. I need some popcorn.
I agree this is like watching a thriller movie I can't wait to see what happens next.

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:59 am

Yeah and we got front row seats, GF!

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Hi five Corona and a booty bump, GF. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:35 am

It's 6:30AM in Benin and Susan is just getting up. She's an early riser. Time to start today's round of mail.

The only reason to write to the original lad now is because the Benin lad is reading that box. I can insult him indirectly.

to the first lad, Susan wrote:

I'm extremely angry with Dr. Onanuga now. He wrote to me yesterday and specifically suggested we meet in Niamey, so I agreed. Then this morning I got an email from him saying we have to meet in Parakou, followed by yet another one changing it to Cotonou. I do not care for his erratic manner, nor his meddling into my personal affairs. But I am dealing with that directly with him. Suffice it to say that at the moment I don't know what is going on, he keeps changing his damn mind.

I spent the entire day yesterday waiting here at the camp in the hopes that he would come. I'm not going to do the same thing today. Since he is quite obviously not intending to come here I am going off on a camp excursion on the Niger river. I will be accompanied by Mr. Brown, who was demonstrably appreciative of the Rolex Submariner I gave to him last night, since you chose not to come. I didn't want to waste it.

I will check my email upon my return.

And then to the Benin lad, who is smarter than most and therefore a fun challenge. I really want to piss him off.

to the diplomat, Susan wrote:

I was quite preoccupied last night and therefore did not read your emails until this morning. May I respectfully ask you a question? What the hell is wrong with you?!? Yesterday you suggested we meet in Niamey. I agreed that this was a good idea and set up the time and place for a convenient and productive meeting. Now you turn around and first send an email saying no, you won't go to Niamey, and that I must follow your command to go to Parakou. That was followed by an email saying to forget Parakou, now you want me to go all the way to Cotonou. And what do you mean about my "another found love" being "in Wildlife"? First of all, my love interest(s) are none of your concern. Secondly, assuming that you are referring to Mr. Brown, I never said he was "in Wildife." He is "in gold." But that is also none of your business.

Cotonou is out of the question. Aside from the fact that it is an extremely long journey, when I was organizing my travel arrangements with my agent she showed me a US State Department advisory about high crime against westerners in Cotonou. I am not going to spend 16 or more hours on bad roads going to and from Cotonou only to put myself in danger while I'm there. And please remember that I will be carrying $2400 in cash which I owe to Mr. Abule for documents he arranged for. Carrying that money would make me very nervous in a high-crime area. Or even in Parakou, for that matter. Mr. Rhodes told me that carjackings are not uncommon in that part of the country.

There are two options available. You are still quite welcome to come to see me here. That is the safest since this is a secure area. However I must know in advance when you are coming. I spent the entire day here yesterday waiting for you and in the end it was a complete waste of my limited time here. Since it is quite clear that you are not intending to be here today I am not going to waste yet more time waiting. I will be off on an excursion all day. If you wish to come any day between Thursday and Tuesday, let me know IN ADVANCE and I will be waiting here for you.

Alternatively, we can meet in Niamey as discussed yesterday. Frankly I think that is the most logical and most viable solution. We will have plenty of time to sign some documents, which you can then take back to Nigeria the same night or the next day. You yourself said that it would take very little time: "only need you to append your signatures on them."

I have one other question I would like for you to explain. You wrote "my interest is because of my investment thus far based on my promised percentage if your transaction with John Abule pulls through". First of all, what percentage are you talking about? Why should you be receiving a percentage of my transaction when this is simply a part of your job? I want an explanation. Who promised you a percentage? How much? Why??? I fail to see how a contract payment such as was owed to my late husband would entail a percentage payment to a bank representative. That is not normal practice and I was neither consulted nor did I authorize such a thing. And what do you mean by "if your transaction pulls through." IF??? Why wouldn't it? You realize I came all the way here from the US specifically to complete this transaction, and the understanding was very clear from the outset that it would be handled swiftly, easily, and risky free. Now you are adding an element of doubt which was never, ever hinted at. Please explain.

I will check my email upon my return from today's excursion. I trust I will find satisfactory answers. I hope I will not find a series of contradictory demands.

My fake lad will be writing later. I hope the Benin lad has plenty of Benicar (blood pressure medication)....

my fake lad wrote:

SMALLBOI U R SO FUNNY WHEN U R VEX .HAHAHAHAHA

HOW IS UR MAMA TOTO IS IT HEALING UP VERY WELL ? PLEASE EXTEND MY SPECIAL GREETING TO HER AND DONT EVER TO TELL HER THAT ONCE HER TOTO IS PROPERLY HEALED SHE SHULD COME OVER FOR DI SERVICE AGAIN . IT WAS REALLY A PITY THAT I FUCKED HER SANS CONDUM THE LAST TIME DAT IS WHAT PEELED HER WETIN CALL HOWEVER DIS TIME AROUND I WILL BE GENTLE WITH HER. BYE FOR NOW AND TAKE CARE OF UR ASHAWO SISTERS FOR ILEARNT FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE THAT DEY HAVE ALL TAKEN TO THE ROAD. WELL IT IS NOT SURPRISING FOR I HEARD THAT YOUR GRET GRANDMOTHER DIED AT A HOTEL WHERE SHE USED TO HUSSLE AND UR PAPA MET HIS HORRIBLE DEATH WHILE SOJOURNYING IN ANOTHER MAN'S HOUSE AND THAT TILL TODAY YOUR FATHER'S HEAD WAS NOT FOUND IT IS REALLY A GREAT PITY .

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:49 am

Ow.. That must hurt really bad.. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:18 am

Awesome pidgin Very Happy

- I've had to add it to my 'igboinsult' file.

I'm looking forward to when he finally blows a gasket.... Laughing

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