"YOU ARE A COMMON STREET THAWTH VERGABON"

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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:22 am

I'm not sure how this idiot has conjured up "STREET THAWTH", but perhaps "VERGABON" is the lad version of vagabond ?

Good job on him Yastreb
Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:18 am

Years and years ago, I used to work in a print shop in the Melbourne CDB, and they used to get a guy come in and copy legal documents that he was intending to serve on people written EXACTLY the same way yastreb's speaking to the lad!!! And best of all, he never spelt the same word the same way twice. I snuck a copy, I still get it out at parties because I'm one of the few people who can make sense of it

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:51 am

He is trying to say "tout" and "vagabond", but is a stupid, uneducated, semi literate lad.

And Yastreb is an uncommon one.

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:37 am

I think the lawyer finally peaked. Have a look at this tirade!

Quote:

YOU MUST BE ASHAMED OF YOUR STUPID DEAD LIVING CORPSE. YOU ONLY HAD ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY BY THIS BANKER TRYING TO CORRECT EVERY OF YOUR BAD IMPRESSION BUT THAT EVIL WORKING IN YOU COULD NOT ALLOW YOU REASON WITH YOUR COMMON SENSE BUT RATHER KEPT KILLING YOU EVERY DAY.

LOOK THERE IS NO POINT OF YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS FUND BECAUSE AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED WITH MY POSITION, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS US$10.5M TRANSFERRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.SO STOP SENDING YOUR ILLETRATE AND NONSENSE LACK OF WORDS SPELLING TO MY EMAIL OK. YOU ARE A STUPID NICAMPO AND SUPPOSED TO GO AND HANG YOUR SELF SOMEWHERE INSTEAD OF CAUSING NUSANCE TO PEOPLE. I DON’T BELIEVE YOU BEEN AN AUSTRALIAN BECAUSE IF YOU WERE TO BE FROM THERE, YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN HOW TO WRITE ENGLISH LANGUAGE VERY WELL. YOU ARE THE WORST STUPID IDIOT WE HAVE ON THIS WHOLE WORLD. YOU MUST BE A MAD MAN ASKING FOR GOVERNMENT INVOICE/RECEIPT WHEN NO PAYMENT HAS BEEN MADE BY YOU. WHERE ON EARTH DO YOU SEE WHERE AN INVOICE WAS BEEN ISSUED FIRST WITHOUT PAYMENT? THAT MADE YOU A TYPICAL ILLETRATE AND SENSELESS IDIOT. DO NOT EVER WRITE ME AGAIN OTHERWISE YOU HAVE YOUR SELF TO REGRET. BIGGER FOOL.

"NICAMPO"?

I risked a bit of Lad education here. Apologies about the salutation, but Casino Royale (the Daniel Craig one) is on tonight.

Quote:

Good evening Mr B0ndu,
Listen, shitbag, I dont know how yuo ever got to be a bloody government lawyer unless they were putting bar certificates in bloody Christmas crackers becuase yuo are the rudest, lazeist, most half-arsed excuse for a human bieng Ive ever had to dael with, yuore stubborn and stupid and pruod of it!
And I know exactly what an invioce is for, its the form yuo get that shows yuo how much yuo have to pay, my utility bills say INVIOCE at the top, and thats before I pay them, so what do you have to say to that yuo smug git poofter?
Final thing, Ive always been dyslexic, but poeple are usaully understanding here, not like where yuo live, if theyre all like yuo there then it must be hell, a land of stuck-up snob moron poofters who cant see past thier own fat noses, no wonder its a Third World hell-hole and no wonder Mrs Daku wanted to laeve it, yuo are full of shit and no amuont of money is worth putting up with yuo, and if yuor ego is so big that a woman and her sick son dont cuont next to it then yuo shuold do the world a favuor and kill yuorself.

Brad then forwarded the lawyer's tirade to the Banker and the Widow Lady, and added:

Quote:

I think if yuo raed this yuoll see why I wanted yuo to get another lawyer, Bondu is a complete psychopath, I cant do business with him ever.

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:48 pm

@Yastreb: That's some excellent baiting, for a NINCOMPOOP.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:37 pm

Quote:

STUPID DEAD LIVING CORPSE

I always liked that phrase. I got called that once. But never NINCAMPO.
That's classic! Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Awww Yastreb you are such a sweet and gentle "NINCAMPO"? Laughing

What ever could be wrong with that mean old lawyer?
He should not be allowed to work with people, he must be mental or something if he can't get along with you.

Stupid lawyer wrote:

Quote:

GO AND HANG YOUR SELF SOMEWHERE INSTEAD OF CAUSING NUSANCE TO PEOPLE

Well I sure hope he takes his own advice. It sounds just right for him. Evil or Very Mad

I think the lawyer is:

Quote:

THE WORST STUPID IDIOT WE HAVE ON THIS WHOLE WORLD.

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:28 pm

Why thank you Dramaqueen - I think...

If this was one Lad, he'd be bipolar (more likely there are two); now they're back to honey rather than vinegar.

Quote:

I have to put it to you that you were the one that kept insulting his integrity without stoping even when I apologized with the lawyer over your past misunderstanding of his write up to you. He accepted proceeding to work for you the moment the fees are being paid by you.I decided to prove every reality of this transfer by promising that I shall pay the US$200.00 to the lawyer while you send him only the US$550.00.But instead of respecting my trust and respect to you as well, you still go on insulting the lawyer and even making a reqest that you know that is not possible.Do not thing that you as an individual anda foreigner can change the financial laws of this nation.No body is denying you the right of asking for payment receipt of any money you pay.But that should come after you must have paid the requred money and not before that.
You have said it that you can not work with Hon.Barrister K0j0 B0ndu.There is no problem about that.I shall discuss and send you contact details of another lawyer before the end of today.But please make sure that you will not do the same thing you did to barrister Kojo Bondu because I wouldn't want to mess myself up again the second time just because of my trust on you. I'm happy that you have known the official government fee for the warrant of transfer.So you just be ready to send it to this new lawyer I will direct you to and I'm still eady to pay the official lawyer's fee for you here so that we can proceed to this fund transfer immediately without any problem.

And

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I hope you received my past mail to you today concerning my promise that I shall meet with another lawyer today and discuss with him so that I can get back to you today with my conclusion with him. I’m therefore confirming to you now that I have succeeded in discussing this over with another federal government int’l lawyer because it is only such level of lawyers from here that can handle this on your behalf without any delays or problems.
He is Hon.Barrister K4m4r4 0umar.He is the legal director of Dynamic Chambers Abidjan Cote D’Ivoire. I really discussed every thing with him but I did not allow him to know that we were using Barrister K0j0 B0ndu before so as not to create bad impression because he will not like to take over the job. I asked him how much he would want you to pay for every thing?
He explained that the official government fee for the securement of the warrant of transfer legal affidavit of trust is US$550.00 just as Barrister Kojo Bondu said. But he said that their official legal consultancy fee is US$250.00 higher than that of Barrister K0j0 B0ndu. But that is not a problem ok. So I have given him your full name and address with also the name of Mrs J0y D4ku. I told him that I would get in touch with you today so that he can hear from you tomorrow because of time differences. He said that you have to send him this money immediately so that he can be at the court Monday morning to get the documents so that we can proceed with the final transfer the same Monday next week.
Now what you will do is to write him immediately and ask him to send you mail with the name you will use to send him the money today through western union. But as I promised you that I will pay the lawyer’s legal consultancy fee. So I will still pay this US$250.00 to him on your behalf ok. But you will only send him the government official fee of the warrant of transfer being US$550.00 to the name he will give you. His contact details are as follows:
Barrister K4m4r4 0umar
Legal Director
Dynamic Chambers
Rue 75 Plot 5 Koumassi 03
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire.
Tel: [snip]
Email: [snip]
Contact him immediately as I have advised you requesting for the name you will use in sending him only the US$550.00 because I shall pay him the other US$250.00 on your behalf.
NB: Please do not talk any thing about Barrister Kojo Bondu and do not also talk to him the same way you did to barrister Kojo Bondu. Please here in this country, there is nothing like giving invoice as you thought before payment but rather your payment receipt comes immediately after payment. Let us proceed further now to have this US$10.5M transferred to your account before barrister K0j0 B0ndu knows to avoid having problem. I trust and respect you and I believed you would not disappoint or disrespect my efforts and trust on you.

From what I can see, two quite different writing styles, though both were signed by Dr Sa1ami Y0ung.

Brad replied to the first one only.

Quote:

Lets get something striaght here, I did not start that sqaubble with Bondu, I simply asked what the high cuort or whatever had to do with this dael and then I wanted to know why I had to pay his fee when hed done nothing, I defy yuo to find an insult in that, and then he cut loose with that first letter, if thats the way he raects to a qeury I wonder why he hasnt been stuck in anger management for ever becuase he cant handle simple qeustions.
The other thing is, yuore still stuck on the concept that I asked for a reciept, well I didnt, I asked for an invioce, which just abuot everyone deos whether its a restuarant, a car repiar shop, water and power, its just a formal list of what and how much, dont yuo get it still, I dont beleive that yuo cant understand me.

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:08 pm

They can't take straight talk...

Quote:

Let us stop writing like little children exchanging penpals letters. But rather face and proceed into this transfer conclusion. Your request or Australian governing laws does not operate or control this nation.What you are saying does not happen in this country and your duty as the foreign beneficiary is to follow this transfer protocols until you have the fund in your account and not to give us conditions as it is not possible that way. So you just write this new lawyer and ask him the name inwhich you will send the US$550.00 to for immediate proceedings.
Good luck and wishing you a blessed wekend.

I simply ignored his "advice" and wrote to the new lawyer:

Quote:

Mr Sa1ami Yu0ng told me to contact yuo abuot the officail government fee for the securement of the warrant of transfer legal affidavit of trust as per his messages to yuo, please let me know who to send the money to, and also sent me an invioce for the fee at once.

Let's see if this lawyer is just as rude!

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:05 pm

Sorry, n00b question:
What does NINCAMPO stand for? These lads have so much jargon.

Nearly
Insane
Nigerian
Complaining
About
Money
Providing for
Orphans?

I can't figure it out.

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:17 pm

Bohigal thought NICAMPO was a Lad rendering of NINCOMPOOP, and odds are he's correct.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:44 pm

So far so good with the new lawyer. But I sure hope you aren't thinking of mentioning the other barrister to the new guy, as that could cause more problems! And stop being a "children's penpal!" Laughing

This guy is so sensitive.

Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:36 pm

Holy shit this guy gets busted up easily!

I love your style of including all the typos, I'll have to try that out some time.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Posts: 28

Thanks for posting this --it has been hilarious. I'll continue to check back on the progress.

Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:00 pm

BillyBaitass - to bait like Brad:

[1] Transpose all vowels
[2] There Are No Apostrophes
[3] Every paragraph is a run-on sentence*

Let 'em have it!

*Actually I may have picked this up from Scam Patroller...

Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:07 pm

It looks like the new lawyer is no more accommodating...

Quote:

Sequel to your mail and the discussion on your behalf which Dr Sa1ami Y0ung(Foreign Operations Director Boa-Ci) had with me yesterday, I want to confirm to you that I shall use all my legal abilities to the best of getting this warrant of transfer legal affidavit from high court of this nation till the bank transfers the US$10.5M over to your account as shall be directed by you.

On my discussion with Dr Sa1ami Y0ung, I made every thing plain as regards to the federal government official fee of US$550.00 and our official legal consultancy/representing fee of US$250.00. He made me to know how he trusted you as a sincere man with good mind of helping to rescue peoples lives over there in Australia and also helping this poor widow here Mrs J0y D4ku as the foreign beneficiary. I send my congratulatory message to you so far with your good and God fearing mind towards helping the needy. He also made me to know that he will bring to my office next week Tuesday on your behalf US$250.00 because of Monday public holiday while you send the US$550.00 direct. That was ok. All you do is to send it to us through western union to the name of our accounts officer:

[--snip--]

Then you send me email with the sender’s name, address and MTCN so that I can proceed to high court on Tuesday next week. We don’t have work here on Monday because of Muslim holiday. Also you requested for the invoice. Please here in Cote D’Ivoire under government or private parastatals, banks, security firms or business holdings, we don’t operate giving invoice but rather issuing of payment receipt copy to any money you pay for any thing. Invoice is only used for water and electricity firms, which comes to your doorstep to drop it for you. Then give you time to go for payment. But this is what you pay and receive your payment receipt immediately without any delays. So no issuing of invoice on this matter as it is a direct payment.I hope I have made myself cleared to you on that. After getting the warrant of transfer legal affidavit and its presentation to the bank here for immediate transfer proceedings, I shall send you copies of the payment receipts and the warrant of transfer legal affidavit for your file upkeeps as the foreign beneficiary.

But Brad is a stubborn cuss (funnily enough, this is a trait all my baiter personae share - though quirky spelling isn't).

Quote:

I have no idae what it is abuot yuor part of the world, but it makes no sense to me that yuo dont give invioces or payment notices, literally everyone here at laest gives yuo a bill, the bank sends payment notices for credit cards, the repiar man sends bills for payment, and when I got divorced the lawyer sent me his invioces for payment, so why cant yuo?

Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:51 pm

The lawyer tries to be civil...

Quote:

How are you today? I hope all is fine with you over there. I’m writing you now from my house computer because we are on a Muslim public holiday as I told you on my first mail to you last Saturday. I want to explain and advice you that the success of any transaction depends on the maximum trust, sincerity, seriousness and confidence on both parties concerned. The total confidence Dr Sa1ami Y0ung made me to have on you are at its high level and we must be like that to have our good aim achieved together.

I have explained to you the issue of invoice which you requested on your first contact mail to me that we don’t operate that same way as it is been done over there in Australia. I expected you to accept and respect my legal direction as I have accepted representing you with the discussion I had with Dr Sa1ami Y0ung on your behalf even when I have not heard from you. I’m not against Australian ways or law making but no country’s law dominates the other country but rather to respect and abide by the law of any country, which you are expecting something from. The assurance you have with me was that at the end of you sending the US$550.00, you should not only have the copy of warrant of transfer legal affidavit of trust. But you will equally have the copies of the payment receipts including the one Dr Sa1ami Y0ung will pay on your behalf because all would be issued on your name as the foreign payee/beneficiary of the fund (US$10.5M) courtesy Mrs J0y D4ku.

So please do all your best to send the US$550.00 to our accounts officer name as I have stated to you on my first mail to you so that I can proceed from here tomorrow morning being Tuesday as we resume official duties.

Brad keeps to the point.

Quote:

Yuore missing the piont, and thuogh yuore bieng a lot more polite than B0ndu, yuove got the same blind spot, Im not talking abuot the law, theres nothing in the law about invioces, its just good sense, if I just piad money withuot the documentatoin, thered be nothing to say why, yuo could then say its actaully $850 not $550, and Id have nothing to say otherwise, and I know yuo probably wuoldnt do it, but thats not the piont, the piont is I want my invioce before I pay yuo, and Im sure there isnt a law where yuo are saying that giving an invioce is a crime, so how abuot yuo just do it and were all fiar dinkum?

And the Lad can't maintain his cool, though he goes terse rather than rude, and under the heading Do What I Have Told You Or We Quit:

Quote:

I have nothing to explain or tell you again than that you go and do what I have asked you to do if you need my legal representation in all this fund transfer. But if not, there is nothing I can do further.
Thank you.

Brad doesn't change his tack:

Quote:

Yuore supposed to represent my interests, but from here it looks as thuogh all that matters is that I give yuo money, thats not what its abuot, its abuot yuor duty to yuor cleint, so why dont yuo do as I ask, and I never haerd of a lawyer giving orders like Do What I Have Told Yuo Or We Qiut, you work for me remember?
Im willing to bend a little, if yuo dont want to send an invioce for whatever raeson, then just send me a letter on yuor chambers paper, letterhaed and all, explianing what the moneys for, yuo wont be braeking any law by diong that, not that yuod be braeking the law by sneding an invioce, but we have to raech a compromise somewhere.

These guys seem to place principle - not sending an invoice - above money.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Great siggy material in that rant. Nice work, Yastreb! Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:58 am

They surrendered!

Quote:

You are advised to open the Dynamic Chambers attached document and go through it carefully. You proceed into sending it today so that I can proceed to high court tomorrow for full payment and warrant of transfer procurement.

And there was this:

I was going to send them M7CN 53cure, but I think that another dose of Brad's stubborn nature is in order...

More as it happens.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I'm loving your bait Yastreb.
I'm sure their blood pressure is rising from talking with you.
What a great job. I love lad frustration and pains,lol. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:09 pm

Definitely sig material. Laughing

Great job! Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:22 pm

I'm prepping for more Lad frustration.

First to the poor widow lady:

Quote:

I havent had any word from yuo for a week, is Ken OK, plaese let me know. The lawyer finally saw raeson, gave me what I needed, wired how he didnt before, but I geuss its alls well that ends well, it shuold be done and dusted soon, dont yuo worry abuot that!
I gave to ask thuogh, have yuo appleid for yuor visas, I remember little Johnny wanted to cut African immigratoin and I dont know if Kevs changed that, and I think DIMAI wuoldnt let a raelly sick kid into the cuontry, do yuo want me to look into it?

Then to the lawyer:

Quote:

Got it, that wasnt so pianful was it, Ill get it done today, but make sure there arent any more problems, Ill be on a raod trip back to Alice Springs for the next few days, and no gaurantees of net access before maybe Monday, so make it good.

I will be out of touch for a few days, so I might as well use that.

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:56 am

I sent the lawyer this an hour ago:

Quote:

The moneys been sent, Im laeving tomorrow to haed for home, I may not be in tuoch until Sunday or Monday, I expect to have good news from yuo, dont let me or Ms D4ku and her sick boy down.

And just now - this:

Quote:

There is no problem of any type and not in any way painful for me writing you on our chambers letter head. I had already prepered going to high court this morning as I thought of having your mail this morning with the western union payment details for the warrant of transfer.But your mail statement is saying that you will do it today.So you do your best and I shall still proceed to court today for the document if I have your mail early enough to proceed to court today.
Good luck and wishing you a lovely day.

Now Brad has gone out with his mates tonight for some farewell drinks, so no more emails tonight, and he's on the way back to Alice Springs by road tomorrow, with no stops at cyber cafes on the way...

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:28 am

This just in - the last line is, ahem, strangely prophetic (emphasis added):

Quote:

You said that the money has been sent.But you have to send me the western union payment details like , the sender's name, address and the money transfer control numbers(MTCN).These are the informations that you must send to me if you have sent the money as you said so that I can proceed from here.So let me have them or you scan /attach to me copy of the western union transfer paper you used in sending the money.Also I have promised to work on your behalf without any disappointment but rather shall use all my legal abilities to bring you success of having this fund transferred over to your account. Also while sending me the western union payment details, remember to include you own full bank account details for the final transfer programming of the US$10.5M immediately I present the warrant of transfer to them.

Thank you and waiting.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:09 pm

I think Monday is too early. Laughing

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