I can't get rid of Dan, dan the lover man

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Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Roy started out baiting dan the lotto man, I believe. At some point Roy introduced David Beckham into the bait and my character is a friend of David's.

I have grown quite bored with Dan and have been trying to get rid of him for quite some time. So I tell him I am in love with another and I gave his shoes away.

Here's a little sample of his latest whine.

Quote:

dan: ooh my angel
dan: i miss u so much
Fi: really?
dan: why are u treating me this way
Fi: how am i treating you?
dan: im not really myself
Fi: who are you then?
dan: u are all over my body
dan: u could'nt even call me on valentine day
dan: i felt so lonely
Fi: i am sorry to tell you, i have found someone else
dan: oh wat?
Fi: yes a fine gentleman from ghana
dan: but why?
dan: im just been in vain mad at u all this time?
Fi: you were not there when I needed you
dan: look honey i lov u as more than u think
Fi: this man is a true gentleman
dan: why ave u decided to true my love away
Fi: he owns a little book store in accra
dan: damn it
Fi: he doesn't swear at me
dan: honey wat do u tak me for?
Fi: what do you mean?
dan: im ready to kill bcos of u
Fi: kill who, what are you talking about?
dan: coz i love u
Fi: kill who?
dan: anybody dat comes inbetween our love
Fi: Did you come to kill Agent Jones and save me? No you did not.
dan: look honey u have'nt tel me
dan: where ave u been?
dan: i so much missed u
Fi: tel u wat?
dan: where ave u been
Fi: with my ghanian lover
dan: i have been missin u
Fi: he is soooo hot
dan: dnt tel me dat crap
dan: i hate it
Fi: i am getting him a fiance' visa to come to the US
dan: im forgetting sometime
Fi: wat r u forgetting?
dan: abt david

(I need to do a little quick googling)

Fi: what about david
Fi: david was in spain for a while
dan: u mean u dnt love me anymore?
dan: did u tel me him u are dumping me,including victoria?
Fi: don't you know david is in italy now? he's at george clooney's villa
dan: honey u want my love to go in vain
Fi: how can i talk to david when he is jetsetting all over europe?
dan: u promise to giv me his mobile number but i have'nt seen it?
dan: hw abt the oscars?
Fi: besides, my hot ghanian man is none of david's business
dan: are u not taking part?
Fi: i was too busy for the oscars, if you get my drift
dan: giv me ur mobile number
dan: i want to call u
Fi: willy wouldn't like that
dan: why ave u not been callin
dan: ?
Fi: because my accra cutie would not like it
Fi: he's very jealous
dan: look honey stop this trash i hate it
Fi: what trash?
dan: u are makin me going crazy
Fi: i thought you already were
dan: why are u doing this to me
Fi: what am i doing to you, i am only being honest, i am in love with another
dan: honey u can't do this
Fi: i can't do what
dan: i'll write ur name in the sky
Fi: do you know he has the same shoe size as you, he loves the shoes
dan: to prove my love for u
Fi: he also was appreciative of the GPS system that you didn't want
dan: i dnt need then i need u
Fi: ok, it's time for me to go, i don't need to get caught talking to you, he would track you down and kill you with his bare hands
Fi: i can't even speak about all the ways he would want to hurt you
dan: you makin me to share tears
dan: u took my heart and giv it to other person
dan: the earth will hold u responsible for breakin my heart
Fi: actually i gave my heart to another, i think you still have yours
Fi: bye now

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:05 pm

Quote:

i'll write ur name in the sky

i think he's lying, there is no way he will hire a sky writer to do that. or will he? Wink

you haven't told him about your deep desire to be married to a same sex partner?

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:15 pm

He should find a large area of open ground and write your name with large stones, about 10 metres high letters should prove he really, really loves you. He could stand in the middle with a large bunch of flowers and send you some pictures of love. Would you consider taking him back then? Poor dan...

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:26 pm

Quote:

u are all over my body

urk!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:40 pm

@NN

He'll probably need to rent a small airplane to fly over and take a picture as well.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan is just a gift that keeps on giving. He's been the subject of numerous threads on eater with numerous baiters having a go at him.

He's been on safari a couple of times. After we got him from Benin City to Lagos, frumpy sent him on to Ghana.

Here's a picture of our man Dan. http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=111501&sid=05f471ea7a57787d8eb21e329f27ced6

Jayhawk has some pictures of Dan when Jayhawk was baiting him as an Interpol agent.

This is the earliest thread I can find. http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=108890

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=98061

We got him kicked out of his mother's house in Benin City and at one point he was able to find access to a private computer with a webcam, we got some rather interesting pictures during that time.

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:00 am

wedding with ark at ark´s house here http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=119620
I call them the "stomach aching because of continous three-days-of-laughter" -days Very Happy

More important, you forgot the Dan is back! Dan is back! - thread http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=126089

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:29 am

The worst thing you could do to Dan is to give away his shoes.

Dan is obsessed with shoes Confused

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:49 am

I think this quote says it all:

Quote:

dan: u are makin me going crazy
Fi: i thought you already were

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Random chat snippets from Dan, I can't remember when I started with him but it's probably been at least 18 months for me.

Quote:

Fi: did you tell your friends about your GPS?
Fi: GPS is sexy
dan: i dnt have a GPS
Fi: you will
Fi: i told you i got you one
Fi: what did you friends say about it?
dan: but i ave not recieved it
Fi: and I have not talked to your mom
dan: hw can i tel my friends about wat i ave not seen
Fi: but you friends will think it's cool that you are getting it
dan: wat if i don't recieve it
dan: dey will start laughing at me
Fi: that's up to your mother
dan: okay
dan: tel me romantic words
Fi: romantic words?
Fi: like cell phone, digital camera, gps system, laptop computer?
dan: love words
Fi: i thought those were love words to you
Fi: oh, i forgot one
Fi: shoes

Quote:

Fi: do you like a GPS system for your car?
dan: but de car is no more
Fi: well, you don't need a car, but you will always know where you are
dan: hw?
dan: ok
dan: wen are u bringing the items for her?
Fi: from the GPS
Fi: if you have to go on a safari you can take it with you
Fi: you will never be lost
dan: wats GPS

Quote:

dan: hello........
Fi: who is this?
dan: is me dan
dan: so where ave u been?
Fi: i can't see you
dan: im not in my computer
dan: so hw are u doin?
Fi: where are you?
dan: im here in a friend system
Fi: i can't see you
dan: i can't see u too

Quote:

dan: where ave u been?
dan: wat ar u doin?
Fi: I was in a plane crash
dan: wat do u mean?
Fi: didn't you read about it?
dan: no
dan: hw are u doin now?
dan: hop u did'nt get injured?
dan: and hop u are ok???
Fi: it landed on the hudson, it was a miracle
dan: where was the plane heading to?
Fi: carolina
dan: u did'nt even burder to call me
dan: since i was very worried

Quote:

dan: u told me you'll call my mum u have'nt call her
Fi: she doesn't answer the phone
Fi: i really want to ask her if she dropped you on the head as a baby
dan: wats the meaning of dat?
Fi: you have a difficult time following directions

Master Baiter Joined: 14 Feb 2009 Posts: 209

redshoes17 wrote:

dan: i'll write ur name in the sky

And I'll write yours in the snow.

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