Partially broken lad?

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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:21 pm

All I wrote:

I would like to make you aware though that I have a fine house and have lost nothing of any value for some years now, but rather have gathered to myself substantial resources for good. So you need not worry about my being affected by enemies.

I now look forwards to progress being made in this endeavour.

Lad wrote:

The provisions were considered absolutely consequential, realistic and acceptable after proper digression of your comprehensive missive. The specific strength of the Building Committee and the other vibrant congregation became consequential to retrogressive, divisive and prefers an integrative approach to secure Lives and Properties. We are making those requirements available within the shortest period.

Any translations/interpretations?

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:34 pm

Translation: Your lad is a show-off who is armed with a thesaurus and doesn't know which end to hold. If you're lucky he might shoot himself with it.

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:36 pm

All lads are partly broken - it's why they never work! *boom boom*

I think yours discovered a thesaurus and though he should sound clever...

My translation - "blah blah blah" Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:42 pm

callum wrote:

Any translations/interpretations?

Happy to oblige!

Swedish Chef:
Zee prufeesiuns vere-a cunseedered ebsulootely cunseqooenteeel, reeleestic und eccepteble-a effter pruper deegressiun ooff yuoor cumprehenseefe-a meessife-a. Zee speceeffic strengt ooff zee Booeelding Cummeettee-a und zee oozeer feebrunt cungregeshun beceme-a cunseqooenteeel tu retrugresseefe-a, deefisife-a und preffers un integreteefe-a eppruech tu secoore-a Leefes und Pruperteees. Ve-a ere-a mekeeng thuse-a reqoourements efeeeleble-a veethin zee shurtest pereeud. Bork Bork Bork!

Jive:
De provisions wuz considered absolutely consequential, realistic and acceptable afta' propuh' digression uh yo' comprehensive missive. What it is, Mama! De specific strengd uh de Buildin' Committee and da damn oda' vibrant congregashun became consequential t'retrogressive, divisive and prefers an integrative approach t'secure Lives and Propuh'ties. We are makin' dose requirements available widin de sho'test puh'iod.

And my new personal favorite: LOLcat:
TEH PROVISHUNS WUZ CONSIDERD ABSOLUTELY CONSEQUENTIAL, REALISTIC AN ACCEPTABLE AFTR PROPR DIGRESHUN OV UR COMPREHENSIV MISIV. TEH SPECIFIC STRENGTH OV TEH BUILDIN COMMITTEE AN TEH OTHR VIBRANT CONGREGASHUN BECAME CONSEQUENTIAL 2 RETROGRESIV, DIVISIV AN PREFERS AN INTEGRATIV APPROACH 2 SECURE LIVEZ AN PROPERTIEZ. WE R MAKIN DOSE REQUIREMENTS AVAILABLE WITHIN TEH SHORTEST PERIOD.

(Sorry, man...you asked!) Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Where are they getting this stuff?

At first glance it looks impressive but when you actually read it, it makes no sense at all. "Proper digression"??

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:50 pm

I'll wait a day or three and throw it back for clarification, asking him to explain why it is necessary to digress and if a divisive integrated approach has any advantages in this situation.

Maybe I shouldn't have sent him that guide to preparing business plans I found. It contained "dog-treat bakery", "hypnotherapy" ,"smoking cessation" and "Toastmasters" all on the same page. Maybe that combination blew a fuse somewhere Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:04 am

Okay, I think I figured out where he got it. Check out this link:

http://www.davidbarrow.com/pbr/

It's a Business Doublespeak generator! Laughing

I see great opportunities for using this in my baits...

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

The Doublespeak generator - what a find! I must try it out right away.

I can see lads literally imploding (hopefully not exploding:Imagine all the shit that would be flying around?) as they try to work their heads around it.

I think if you just insert some of it into regular correspondance it will make them even crazier.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 22 Feb 2009 Posts: 80

Quote:

Lad wrote:
The provisions were considered absolutely consequential, realistic and acceptable after proper digression of your comprehensive missive. The specific strength of the Building Committee and the other vibrant congregation became consequential to retrogressive, divisive and prefers an integrative approach to secure Lives and Properties. We are making those requirements available within the shortest period.

That's synonym madness. They must have got hold of a copy of microsoft word!