The great charity scam *dolla chops aplenty*

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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 9:12 pm

He shipped it today, unfortunately he used Fedex priority, not Fedex international next flight service. Tracking number shows it won't be here until Monday. We won't tell him that, not until it's too late. He had to have paid at least $100 USD for this shipment, if not more.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I believe that Betty has the only key to the mailbox and she is leaving town to visit her mom on Saturday. I expect she won't be back until later in the week. I will leave it to the wisdom of the funding board on how to handle the late documents.

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 10:31 pm

Well, I like that out lad is spending money..... That is an expensive shipment.....

Too bad it will not arrive in time...

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

My thoughts on where to go from here:

1. The paperwork will not arrive by Friday which means Betty is taking off to visit her sick mother. She will be gone for some time (5-7 days) with the key to the mailbox which means that no matter when it arrives the members of the funding board can't access the package.

2. Betty comes back and argues vehemently that the money should go to Little Winging since the package was late. Members of the funding board can argue back and forth on Betty's proposal. Some members could start sending private e-mails to our lad stating that Betty is being entirely unreasonable and she is going to get the sack.

3. The funding board sides with our lad at which point Betty embezzles the the funds and destroys the paperwork.

4. Betty is out of the loop. She sends e-mails from around the globe taunting the lad and the members of the funding board. Meanwhile the funding board forces the lad to jump through new hoops to restart the process.

Seems to me like that is where we are headed, right?

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:20 am

I think that works perfectly. Now how do we position the safari? We have to make the safari the lad's idea. In other words, we position it so he sees it as a great alternative.

Me: "Dan, I think you should meet with our missionary in Abeche to collect the funds since someone keeps intercepting your funds".

Dan: "Ok".

If only they were all so easy. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Well, there has already been talk about the Bishop coming out to visit. Eventually, he might have to fly out to a neighboring country to visit a parish. What better way to deliver the funds than have the Bishop himself hand them over? Of course, problems will arise and our lad will have to go to the Bishop if he wants the loot.

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:48 am

Works for me. I think the lad needs just a little more time to get to the point where he is ready to travel.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I agree. We still have plenty of punishment to inflict before a safari is mentioned. He is hardly desperate enough yet.

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:02 am

That gold looks nice on you by the way.

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

He did invite the Bishop to visit. Maybe we set a date (two, three months?) for the Bishop's visit, and then have the money shipments be derailed. Once he's waiting two months for the money, "but the bishop is visiting next week", he'll have all sorts of suggestions.

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:06 am

And if you need any delays, Betty's mother could always contract some bizarre lingering disease such as Dutch Elm Disease or psittacosis, which requires periodic stripping of her bark or filing of her beak, according to preference. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

sir scam alot wrote:

That gold looks nice on you by the way.

Do you know where it came from? I meant to ask and forgot.

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:19 am

^^^A mod told me that someone was a fan of your work and decided to send out a donation to upgrade you.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Well, whomever they are (and if they are reading this) I owe them a hearty 'thank you!' It was a pleasant surprise.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Wright B Hindyou wrote:

And if you need any delays, Betty's mother could always contract some bizarre lingering disease such as Dutch Elm Disease or psittacosis, which requires periodic stripping of her bark or filing of her beak, according to preference. Laughing

Are you operating on the assumption that Betty is really visiting her sick mother instead of sneaking down to Little Winging to meet with her lover and future embezzlement partner? Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:54 am

^
No, I'm assuming that Betty wants to cover her motives and hence makes up a fictitious disease for her mother, in order to allay suspicion.... Wink

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:07 am

It sounds like the package has really shipped. I really look forward to the arguments about the money....

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:41 pm

Yup, his email has the tracking number in it. It left Port Harcourt yesterday.

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:40 pm

Hahahahaa! I love that!

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Betty is leaving today. She will be back sometime next week. She has the only key to the mailbox with her on her keychain. She claims that cellphone reception is almost nonexistent where her mother lives. She does not check her e-mail when she is away tending to family business. You can try to get in touch with her, it will be impossible.

She has not embezzled any funds yet. She will do that after she gets back and fights with members of the funding board about where to send the money. It might be worthwhile to let our lad know that, even though you haven't seen it, you are 'sure' the paperwork arrived on time and that the money will most certainly be deposited when Betty gets back. It is not as if you would track the package yourself, thats Betty's job (you ungrateful bastards!).

Any word on the bank account he sent? I'm ready for a new icon.

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:31 pm

Add the piggy to your signature. All you have to do is report the account, we rarely get confirmation of a kill.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

BTW, the Bishop was expecting the package to be on his desk Friday afternoon; it obviously isn't.

Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:53 am

Well, sounds like someone has to give the bad news. happy crowd

How bad is it going to be? Does Betty rund oft with the money? Does the money end up going to Lando? Stay tuned!

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Uh Oh! Somebody is in trouble! Do I see 'Monday' as the expected delivery date in this e-mail? Did our lad just give Betty the ammunition she needs to fight against his receiving the funds? I believe he did.

Quote:

Dearest madam,
Thanks for your response, I have had a group church prayer as regards your mothers health , i believe she will get batter as the Lord says " call upon my name and Ye shall be healed " By his stripes we are healed . I know God in his infinite mercies will heal her .

I believe you will receive the documents by Monday , We are very happy with your plans and we have decided to use the following account details for receiving the donation as it is fastest way here so receive the good donation from the Children of God . Please note and use this account details for the deposit of the kind donations

(Bank account detail deleted pending closure) Twisted Evil

We hope you get this noted and we pray for your safe return from your visit .

To the love of God with faith Amen,
Rev.H4yes

Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:16 pm

Yup, completely unacceptable. Also, the account, it's a new one. Off to Uncle Al it goes. I think I've seen this one before in other scams so this will be more evidence for a kill. As for the package, it's sitting in the warehouse, should be there tomorrow.

Quote:

Feb 14, 2009 9:18 AMAt local FedEx facilityKLAMATH FALLS, OR
Feb 14, 2009 6:02 AMAt dest sort facilityPORTLAND, OR
Feb 14, 2009 3:32 AMDeparted FedEx locationMEMPHIS, TN
Feb 14, 2009 2:35 AMArrived at FedEx locationMEMPHIS, TN
Feb 14, 2009 1:30 AMInt'l shipment releaseMEMPHIS, TN
Feb 13, 2009 5:41 PMIn transitPOYLE GB
Feb 13, 2009 5:41 PMIn transitPOYLE GB
Feb 12, 2009 7:25 PMIn transitLAGOS NG
Feb 11, 2009 7:11 PMLeft FedEx origin facilityPORT HARCOURT NG
Feb 11, 2009 7:02 PMPicked upPORT HARCOURT NG

Looks like a slap for not using the fastest option available. I say we remedy that problem by having Betty steal the paperwork and mess everything up so we have to start over again. We'll apologize to the lad and make it slightly easier for him, but he'll have to ship the documents once again. If he complains too much, we'll tell him we'll reimburse him for the costs involved once we release the donation to him. I've done this before and I think they go and borrow money from a friend or even pawn stuff. We got a lad to pawn his laptop for the money to make a trip to Benin once. Twisted Evil

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