The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:42 pm

Loves

And always will. Smile

And that's page 20 folks. As the Rolling Stones said, you can't always get what you want.

Now go get some work done. Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:54 pm

jojobean wrote:

I am off to Bali this weekend.

Dear Mr. Jojobean, I was doing some research on Bali and much to my surprise, I discovered that there is a high number of widows and orphans there. Since I have donated all of my possessions to charity, and my life savings to the needy, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to check on the situation for me. If what I read was true, I will sell my last meager possessions and find a way to travel there and offer my services to the poor children and widows. As I was reading about them, a tear came to my eye. I don't mind telling you that I openly wept by the time I finished the article. Please see if I can be of any assistance while you are there.

Your friend,
Harry

ETA: I just remembered that I had an offensive word in my sig line so I removed it. I apologize to anyone I offended with that ugly word.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:42 pm

Murry, I checked the whole house and no one is here except for cat. I swear that name wasn't on the cupcake when I took the picture. Just who is this James?? Is he on Eater?? Shocked

I must say, I am begining to smell a rat here. I see this:

jojo, off to Bali wrote:

As I said, I will be off to Bali this weekend to fix up my hut. I can assure you, that is the only reason I am going. There is no other reason. I promise.

And now this:

the kinder, gentler Harry wrote:

Please see if I can be of any assistance while you are there.

Something is amiss. Confused

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:53 pm

Mugatu wrote:

And that's page 20 folks.

You do realise there's an entire week before we even get to the day? Laughing

Can jojo fit on a plane?

Edit: Hello Trix, I love your gift, but I think it's a bit tight. Sad

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:59 pm

Dear Miss Dora, you need not worry about my motives. The only thing I want to do with my life now is help people in need. I was appalled when I read this. Check it out. It brought a tear to my eye when I read this. Imagine a place where rich people go to live the high life when there is so much suffering hidden there. My motives are pure. I simply want to stamp out world hunger and mis-treatment of human beings. I don't mind telling you I cried like a little baby when I navigated around that web site. How can we, as responsible human beings go to a place and live lavishly when there is so much suffering below the surface? I promise you, my intentions are real. I simply want to make the world a better place to live, where everyone can live life without worrying about where their next meal will come from.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:05 am

the exquisite Dora wrote:

I have bundled up with about 12 layers and a hat, mittens, and a couple scarves. I know, overwhelmingly sexy.

To me you are always sexy no matter what you are (or are not) wearing. I took the liberty of buying you a robe to wear when we relax by the fire tonight...

See you soon, my dearest Dora. Pretty Rose

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:34 am

Mugatu,

Told ya that I could never hold a candle to Eight and you will always be one of the sweetest guys I know. Cool

I can't complain about any of the Valentines that I had last year. Razz

I'm in Paranoid and carry on. jump_4_joy

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:36 am

A quick valentine song verse for Reaper...To the tune of "Santa baby"

Reaper baby, I love it when I sit on your knee, simply,
so you can hold me real tight
Reaper baby, tie me to the bedpost tonight....

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Ima, mon cheri, please don't be taken in by Juan's French; anyone can Google.

Please don't be taken in by his fancy, schmancy wine, just made a link here, because it isn't worth repeating:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v252/juanf/Mouton_1970-1.jpg

Clearly, there is a reason why that is in his PhotoBucket account....I bet that 'James' trots those images out every Valentine's Day.

Keep in mind our date...disregard the obligatory chum, and think about this:

The Aquarium:

Our hotel:

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:32 am

Pish-posh, ignore the man behind the curtain, Ima. The Monterey Bay Aquarium is very close to my Pacific coast mansion. We can take my private helicopter and be there in less than 30 minutes. Just say the word and we'll spend all day at the aquarium on Valentine's Day, then fly back to my place for our romantic dinner, where I will gladly enchant you with the entire Pont Mirabeau poem recited from memory. (Yes, I really do know it by heart, it's my favorite. I'll tell you why when we're sipping Dom Perignon in the hot tub.)

And as for his disparaging comments about picture hosting, at least I use my own account rather than simply hot-linking directly to orbitz.com: http://www.orbitz.com//hotelimages/835/45835/154955/PROP0-20070125-013626-125.jpg

Enough said. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@Juan: Thank you for the beautiful pictures of our proposed date for Valentine's day. You obviously have sophisticated taste and are very romantic. I don't mind that you have the images hosted in your Photobucket account. (but I will check to make sure they're not posted on last year's Valentine's thread. Laughing

) As you already knew, French is close to my heart and does warm me. :sigh:

@Snerd: Thank you for the pictures as well. I already envisioned a lovely time from your previous description. The description was much more clever than the images though and still makes me smile.

While I love the romance and appreciate the effort to find the images, I must say that my very favorite thing on this thread so far is the original poem Snerd wrote. I love the mushy wooing, but by far, what wins me over is cleverness. (I do know that you're both clever. :sigh: Lotta? Where the heck are you? May I pleeeeease have two Valentines? )

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:37 am

Ma chère Ima, ne fais pas attention à M. Snerd, il est tout simplement jaloux. Tu connais bien que je parle français courrament, cela n'a rien à faire avec Google. Mes sentiments, et mes intentions, sont aussi purs que la neige qui tombe chez toi, et la chaleur qui regne chez moi. Bien que ses sentiments semblent sincères tu peux etre assurée qu'il sont fausses. Il n'y a que moi qui t'aime vraiment, pour toi-même et non pas seulement ta beauté, qui, bien sur, est fabuleuse mais qui est la moindre de tes qualités. Je t'adore.

Je te prie, ma chérie, chosis-moi comme ton Valentin, pour maintenant et toujours.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

ne fais pas attention à M. Snerd

You know of course that she will, Juan...or should I say, 'James', or even 'evil fellow Mod that I've shared many a drink and Jackbooting with' Freizwidatt. Evil or Very Mad

Speaking in French makes you write in italics, for one thing...and use lots of vowels and consonants to say something very simple.

For example, in French one might say, "ze thang, oui, ze odd zang mit a canard on ze head, it has a certain je nais se quois. Where as I could simply say, "Beats the snot out of me."

I'm pretty sure that Ima appreciates direct, non-italic wooing:

Bunches, you have my heart, and I am utterly yours. :sigh:

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 5:32 am

:sigh:

It does appear that Murry will have to change his poem. Ima is now certainly the most woo'd lady on Eater. Also the smartest:

Ima wrote:

I love the mushy wooing, but by far, what wins me over is cleverness.

Yes Ima, it is the cleverness, isn't? It isn't the money or the fancy items to purchase or the images. It is the originality and word descriptions. For me, my 2 new avvys, silly as they may seem to be to others, have been the best presents I could ever hope for!

@ Dramaqueen: Yes, I admit I did notice sweet jojo's rather large siggy. (I mean, who hasn't?) And it is impressive. All that lad pain. A shiney shield and skull and crossbones. And 50 safaris!! What female baiter wouldn't swoon? However, I look at dear Bluth's, and I am reminded of his X-wingy-thingy (yes, that is the technical term!) art bait. And those are not a piece of cake. Even a Star Wars techtard like me is impressed. (Everything I know about Star Wars I have learned from Ghort. Blame him for any mistakes I make!) So even siggy lines are not a help to me in this decision. :sigh:

@ Poor Mrs. So and So: You have had to deal with that ungrateful husband. And now, your suitor can not remain focused on you. I certainly hope another will come to your rescue. Maybe someone named James?

@ Bluth: Dearest, thank you for a lovely night. You kept me warm and I never felt the chill. The fire and the drinks were romantic. The robe was perfect. I can't wait to see you again. I hope we can dance on Sunday. ♥♥♥ (And I really don't know who James is! Shocked

)

@ jojo: Sweetie, I do believe you have left for your tropical island. I hope your weekend is grand. Don't worry about me at all. I am sure Bluth will keep me great company in your stead. I did make something for you today too. While in the kitchen, making cupcakes, I took your heart (the one you gave me many pages back) and made it more festive. I hope you like and please hurry back! Pretty Rose

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:11 am

Obviously my rival for the fair Ima's affection has not yet learned that italics are sexy. Especially in French, n'est-ce pas ma chérie? Wink

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Hmmm...let me try:

blah, blah, blah, blah blah? Blah.

My love, my Ima.
I won't write this in italics,
...because that word starts with 'it'.

If I were the beach,
I would love to feel your toes in my sand.

If I were a hat,
I would love to be on your head.

The simple, cuddling things,
these are what I want.

...and I would slash the tires,
belonging to French speaking, italic using louts.

Ima, Ima, Ima.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:42 pm

Sweet sultan of woo, and how well you do it too.
I have long admired you, and to my heart I must be true.

Please think not I play with your heart,
I am but a simple miss and not a tart. < (BS)

Another manly Australian has thrown his hook into the ring,
And begs my decision I delay while he does his wooing thing.

I am humble and sincere and devout and consider myself lucky,
To have caught the eye of so many that are both handsome and plucky.

Decision day will be Wednesday, my virtual everything is the goal,
To the most romantic and worthy I will offer my soul.

Note done in italics, to make it more romantic.

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Sep 2008 Posts: 236

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

PRS Girly Girl wrote:

form fitting cockpit

I'm sold.

Would you like me to arrange for her kidnapping, my master?

Just because I don't have all the inny and outey bits he likes... *sighs*

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:08 pm

Darling Kate

I have done fine wooing to win your love
If I need to I will bring a dove
But I am a man who will be up to the task
Off wooing some more as you ask

But to make the competition a little more fair
I send you a book for the other to share
Its a book of words that will help him write
And perhaps then his words will delight

You see jelousy is not my thing
I give my wooing and everything
If other suitors your hand do seek
take your time and let them speak

when your ready make your choice
today a bought a car but only a Royce
I spent the day without you
and have had hardly no time to woo

If until Wednessday I must wait
To find out if you will be my date
then wait I shall do to learn my fate
Take your time my lovely Kate

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:05 pm

To all my dear Eater friends,

I had an amazing day yesterday. I went to visit Timmy to dot the I's and cross the T's on the adoption papers. While I was there, the Director of the Womens shelter next door saw me get out of my eco-friendly hybrid car. It is a shelter that abused women can go to escape abusive husbands/boyfriends. I had applied for a job there last week. The Director, a very nice lady named Sara, asked me if I had a minute to speak with her. Of course, I agreed. She offered me the position of daytime manager of the home! I was overjoyed! I probably don't have to tell you I could feel the waterworks starting. I held back the tears and asked what my duties would be.

She told me I needed to be there at 5:00 am to start breakfast for the women. After I prepare breakfast, I am to go to each woman's room and serve her the breakfast. I thought I was dreaming! My whole life, I have wanted nothing more than to serve women, and now I will be getting paid to do what I love best! As if that wasn't enough for any person, she told me I will be responsible for cleaning their rooms, doing their laundry, ironing, changing the linens on the beds, and if they brought any children with them, I would also be responsible for running the day care.

I couldn't help it, I broke down and cried. I hit my knees and said a little prayer of thanks. Think about it.......I'm actually getting paid to serve women! I just don't think my life can get any better than it is right now. I'm searching the internet right now in hopes of finding a source of information that will help me become a better servant to the women. On my own, I thought "wouldn't it be nice if on my first day I brought each lady a dozen hand picked roses and a small box of chocolates". I started checking prices, and wow! That stuff is expensive! No matter, I will sell my last possession if I have to, to brighten up some woman's life, if only for 1 day.

I am on top of the world, and cannot wait for Monday to begin my new job. If I were a betting man (which I am not, gambling is part of the Devil's work), I would bet that I don't sleep a wink Sunday night. I better sign off now, I can feel a tear well up in my eye.

Your friend,
Harry

edit to fix a couple typos

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:52 pm

Gulp!

Harry how do manage to find time to post?

I know you also do numerous soup runs right through the evening until the early hours. That is also not taking into account your stirling work as a poop scooper at Battersea Dog's Home.

I would take my hat off to you if I could afford one.

Wink

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Paranoid wrote:

Quote:

Drama, you have piqued me. Maybe I could to 3 eight hour shifts.

@Paranoid I would so jump on you if I were not so madly and crazily obsessed and in love with dr. stephen williams.
I love you snookums...Hope you are having fun. I miss you,kisses and lots of hugs.
You are a wonderful man who loves poetry and gardening.
Two of my favorite things.

And besides Mrs So and So and Corona would pull all my hair out
if I messed with you. And I really like my hair.
My Doc loves to put his hands in it and drag me around to his cave.
It's so wonderful and romantic.

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:29 pm

Tsnerd wrote:

If I were a hat,
I would love to be on your head.

My sweet Ima, would you rather listen to me whisper eloquent words of love as we cuddle in the hot tub, or spend your time with a hack who thinks being a hat will win your heart? Rolling Eyes

I just booked us tickets (first class, of course) on the Air France non-stop to Paris on the 15th. We'll arrive in the morning and go straight to the Georges V on the Champs Elysées to freshen up, then head to Les Halles for a light lunch at Au Pied du Cochon -- a couple dozen oysters (I suggest the Fines Claires) and a bottle of Savennières 2006. It will be the perfect start to a whirlwind week of museums, lavish dinners, and boating on the Seine. What do you say?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

or spend your time with a hack who thinks being a hat will win your heart?

edit: I can afford to laugh - I have already won her heart.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Lotta?? LOTTA????? Where is she? Crying or Very sad

Oh my. (Mon Dieu!) French, Italics and I have Snerd's heart. :sigh:

The trip to France does sound wonderful and you as a guide, Juan, would be magnificent. The 15th you say?
Maybe I can wear Snerd on my head and put my toes in his sand on the 14th? Embarassed

He's right that he does have my heart. :sigh:

Hi James. Very Happy

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