The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:01 pm

^^ seriuosly I think I'm gonna be sick. schmaltz overload. puke

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:10 pm

Dora, that whole "talking to jojo" thing that you've been doing hasn't been an act?? You actually LIKE him??

And for the record, no matter how many pictures of cakes and chocolate he posts, you'll never see a crumb of them. Ever.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Trixi wrote:

Quote:

^^ seriuosly I think I'm gonna be sick. schmaltz overload.

Don't choke on it Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@Juan:

Mon ami, I never would have presumed that the object of your affections is me.

Merci beaucoup pour le beau poeme! Very Happy

Ecrire en anglais, s'il vous plait. Je ne parle pas francais tres bien; seulement un peu. Embarassed

( I apologize for any errors in what I have just written. )

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:53 pm

the ETOH infused Prof wrote:

Dora, that whole "talking to jojo" thing that you've been doing hasn't been an act?? You actually LIKE him??

Sheesh. Another jojo detractor. But I will be nice and not say anything scurrilous about you. Very Happy

ETA: jojo, here is a new avvy for you. I hope you like it!

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:20 pm

Mrs. So and So wrote:

Oooh. I love a man who can appreciate poetry. Particularly when it's appreciated in a manly sort of way. . .

My Dear Mrs. So and So, there are so many manly things I can show you. As you may (or may not) know, poems are often put to music and become songs. I hereby promise to use my manly talents to make you sing songs you could only imagine. (Have you ever seen Young Frankenstein? Wink

)

Corona forlornly wrote:

And what are you all on about????

Awww, Corona, I hate that you feel left out too. I am confident that Mrs. So and So won't mind me spendig some energy on you too. See I have these two manly arms, two manly eyes, two manly ears. My heart has been said to be so big it is like having two of them too. I know that I can hold more than one sweet eater lady at a time, so come on over here and don't be fooled by Harry who obviously is paying someone to write for him now.

I not only like poems (in a manly way) I also like gardening (in a manly way). Cool

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

@Dora Just a thought, have you seen how big Jojo's siggy line is?
(I mean I know that is none of my business)
I know we can never judge on that alone but it has to be worth extra bonus points. Thats a lot of serious lad pain Wink

I love the avatar you picked for him, im sure he will love it.

@Kate I loved your woo.
I think you are reeling the fish in, I MEAN Valentine in.

@Harry, I never knew you could be so sweet. Very Impressive.
Im sure you will find an Eater Valentine in no time with your kind and generous acts. We may have to make up a new icon just for you.

@Ima , you are on fire with all your wooer's.

ETA:
@Paranoid that was lovely and well spoken, you burning love you.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:48 pm

Dora my love,

I am looking forward to seeing you tonight. Once we get back perhaps we could share some wine by the fire?

And perhaps on the 14th after sharing another lovely evening together we could retreat to more private quarters...

Dora, ¿quieres ser mía?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:57 pm

@Drama- THANKS FOR THE PLUG!!!!

Harry Bawls wrote:

Dear Dora, Please look in another direction. I am not worthy of your attention. As an additional punishment for my previous behavior, I have volunteered at the soup kitchen downtown to serve needy people a hot, nutritious meal. I will do this during the entire course of my fast.

Your friend,
Harry

Harry,

I want to thank you for being the kind of guy that doesn't try to step in and woo where wooing is already going on. Many thanks for that.

As I said, I will be off to Bali this weekend to fix up my hut. I can assure you, that is the only reason I am going. There is no other reason. I promise.

Now, time for some more wooing.

@Dora

Do you know what time it is? It's jojo and Dora time. Baby, if you pick me, we will ride around the stratospheres of love and ecstacy.

So, to start the evening off, we will take a ride in jojo's car, which is the most beautiful of all cars on the road. Of course, we will have a driver so that my full attention can be devoted to you, whilst we are in the backseat sipping on the finest champaign. Our bottoms are oh so comfortable as they rest on seats made of the finest leather. I play the most beautiful tunes (composed by me of course) on my perfectly EQ'd car audio system. You are dressed in a perfectly tailored outfit that I had Michael Kors specifically design for you. It is made of the finest silk from the finest worm. It was hand sewn by someone who I specifically paid a decent wage, lest I be accused of sweatshopping. Your shoes were made of the finest lamb skin from the softest of all lambs to be found. I am clad in a perfectly fitting three piece suit, also made from the finest materials.

We go to the most elite restaurant on the East Coast of the United States. Our dinner consists of the finest lobster from the finest sea and the finest steak from the most perfect cow (cooked medium rare of course, with drawn butter drizzled atop). You will eat a side dish of rice as well as a perfectly greened salad. For that you will have bacon bits and bleu cheese dressing. I will then give the violinsit a very large denomination of currency to play your favourite song on the violin, which is a song that I composed myself.

We then retreat off to my crib, which is a site to see. The fragrance of the crib is an aphrodisiac to any woman, even more so than that fine cologne that I am wearing. The bed sheets on my round bed are of the highest thread count. I make sure that they are suitable for you. If they are not, I shall search the 7 continents until I find the sheets most perfect for your skin. From there we shall journey to the far ends of the galaxy, with jojobean taking you where no other man has taken you. I shall then feed you grapes of both colours. I will have both on hand in case you dislike one colour of grapes.

We will then watch the sun rise over the ocean, which will bring tears to both of our eyes, due to the sheer beauty of the scene from my palace.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:58 pm

JMR sweetsykins it is all absolutely wonderful. You can defintely be confident about that 1st kiss. If you continue to keep this level of pursuit up, you may just get to marvel at some of my topography. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Y-y-you mean both the m-mountains and the valleys??

jump_4_joy

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:01 pm

^^ I think I'll keep you guessing for now. Cool

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:20 pm

After much contemplation and debate with myself, I finally decided to look around and see if there were any worthy Eater men trolling this thread in search of a Valentine. I was entertaining the idea of snaring one for myself, or, depending on the circumstances, being willing to become snared. IMHO the overall quality of the wooing this year by the men has not quite reached the quality of last year, but there is still time. This year has also been tainted by the outbreak of trash talking, putdowns and character assassinations which is disturbing and disappointing. At least the women have the dignity and style to do it behind each others backs and in private.

I'm undecided about what to do next. To woo or not to woo, that is the question. Or should it be, to woo or be wooed? This is getting too complicated. I'm just a simple girl with simple tastes. Some fine chocolates, going shoe shopping, flowers and a soft cashmere sweater, and I'm purring like a kitten. Add in a PRS or Taylor guitar......imagine purring like catwoman.

Speaking of a kitten, Breadcrumb, my Valentine from last year has just been released back into the wild so he can run free again. Running freely may not be completely accurate since there were times when he's been unable to walk for a day or two. Some of you may have noticed BC stopped actively posting starting shortly after Valentines Day last year. He was busy with other more important things.

Good luck to all those still searching or waiting, and may you find the man or woman of your dreams (or nightmares in some cases).

EDIT: typo repair

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:23 pm

^^Sure looks like high maintenance to me...* Shocked

*ETA: Not that there is anything wrong with that. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:53 pm

PRS Girly Girl wrote:

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, or, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah do it behind each others backs and in private (yep ummhmm I was thinking the same thing that's right).

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah? Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, going shoe shopping, ( jump_4_joy

) blah blah a soft cashmere sweater, ( jump_4_joy

) and I'm purring like a kitten (yep ummhmm I was thinking the same thing that's right). Blah blah blah Blah or Blah blah......blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah, Breadcrumb, blah Blah blah blah blah has just been released back into the wild so he can run free again. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah since there were times when he's been unable to walk for a day or two. Blah blah you may have noticed BC stopped actively posting starting shortly after Valentine's Day last year. He was busy with other more important things (nope I wasn't aware, hope he's back to licking those floors to a bright shine).

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah blah).

Hi PRSGG!

I wanted to help you snag that valentine, so I thought I'd give you a hand emphasizing the most important parts of your post. It's very important to draw their attention to the most appealing sections ya know. Good luck! Wink

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:00 pm

Dramaqueen wrote:

ETA:
@Paranoid that was lovely and well spoken, you burning love you.

Drama, you have piqued me. Maybe I could to 3 eight hour shifts. Very Happy

edited so that the post would be linguistically correct

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:08 pm

Hey, first my husband runs off with all kinds of farm animals. And now my Valentine is in the market for two other women. Was my poetry wasted?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:12 pm

Yeah, that's high maintenance right there. Plus, she is a black widow. Is it any coincidence that BC disappeared after PRSGG picked him? I think not. I am just thankful she picked him so that I can be around this year to woo wonderful Dora.

@Dora-

Despite the number of PMs I received in sheer love for my avatar, I have decided to change it (http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1310150#1310150). I have done this because I am enamoured by Dora. She suggested I change it, so I did. I am sure that the masses will weap, but I care not for them. I am enamoured by no one else but one DTE.

I am off to Bali this weekend. Again, only to work on the quaint hut.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:13 pm

Oh, No, sweetie, hunny bunch. I just wandered off a bit. I re-read your poem and I am smitten once again with your way with your <strike>tongue</strike> words.

I am after all human and male, so things to tend to make my mind wander...

... Farm animals??? I thought it was forest animals. Hmmm, must go back and check sources...

...Not that I don't trust you my sweet... Very Happy

Hmmm, Must keep poem closer to keyboard.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:40 pm

High maintenance = fast acceleration, extreme speed, superb handling, supreme workmanship, form fitting cockpit, breathtaking lines and curves, and envious shares when accompanied by one.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:44 pm

@ Ima, please excuse my dusty appearance but I've been down in the wine cellar opening up my last case of 1970 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild. I thought that might be an appropriate wine for our special night and a singularly pleasant change from the usual Pimm's in the lounge.

The chilled magnum of Dom Perignon and the perfectly heated hot tub will make for sublime pleasure as we watch the sunset from the deck on the north wing of my estate.

And then, of course, I will gently massage away all your cares. My tender ministrations in the romantic candleilight will soon lead you to forget all about all about trolls and necros.

I'll set the table on the deck overlooking the ocean from the west wing.

Our filet mignon will sizzle on the grill while we sip our wine and exchange tender words of love as balmy nightfall comes to my warm hilltop eyrie on the Pacific.

After you have savored my brilliantly-inspired cooking and we finish the Mouton-Rothschild, we can watch the moon rise and toast our love with snifters of Louis XIII de Remy Martin.

You will forget all about your usual winter chill as you bask in the idyllic warm Pacific weather and the undying fire of my passion. Just say the word.....

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:04 pm

I see the standard of wooing has rapidly improved around here.

I am very impressed Laughing

I know that many of the girls here may be waiting
for me to name my choice,
if it is not you that I name, please dont give up on romance.
Another may even buy you a rolls royce

There are other man here who can make you happy too,
so without delay or further ado
I write my poem and one more woo

There was a scene to create
and the girl I sought had to bait
I knew I would have to wait
for a girl I could apprecciate

I have found the one to escalate
into my arms and to woo till late
It will be the most magical date
if she says yes it will be first rate

If she says no i will surely deflate
But the choice is hers the rest is fate
I am running out of words that rhyme with hate
And refuse to use the word "masterbate"

so its time to name my mate
and if she agrees i will elate
Lotta I am sorry you arrived too late
for I had already fallen for Cathartic Kate

Catharrtic Kate will with "R" s so fine
I hope you'll be my virtual valentine
I surely hope you dont decline
to be in my arms and to be mine

But if you say no thats OK
I will woo again some other day
I understand there must be many suiters
Who admire your charm and your hooters

If you say no I have other plans
I will share the plans of another mans
If your answer is no I ask one wish
tell me now and with Irish I will fish

Dora, how could you possibly work out which girl it was Wink

One small edit required

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:08 pm

What a nice day to be woo'd! My suitors are the best! (Well, there are others that are great too. They just aren't woo'ing me!)

My dear Bluth! Pretty Rose

I am looking forward to tonight. I have bundled up with about 12 layers and a hat, mittens, and a couple scarves. I know, overwhelmingly sexy. But Ghort wanted to add more. He is a little overprotective at times, but I love him anyways.

Since my poetry is not in demand, my photoshop skills abysmal, and no one wants to hear me sing, I once more, I went into the kitchen to make you something from my heart. These are for you:

See you later! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:28 pm

PRS Girly Girl wrote:

form fitting cockpit

I'm sold.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:36 pm

Dora, I dont want to alarm you but,

I think you may need to check your kitchen,

there may be somebody hiding under the table

Somebody like JAMES

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