M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:11 am

Jack, along with every other MM address it seems, received Eric Ub4h's "I will honour your invitation" email, so I replied...

Jack wrote:

Dear Eric,

That is good to read. I have been kept informed about your progress and I am eager to meet you at the end of the week.

hoping to see you soon,

Jack

This morning, Eric sent these encouraging words...

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack Smeh0fik,

Many thanks for your email, i will come.

Thanks,

Ub4h Eric IIoba.

You can't get more direct than that. But how empty will his promise turn out to be?

To my Fake Jim character, he sends this...

Lad wrote:

Hello Jim Edw4rd,

How are you today, hopefine, Please inform me when you will be in Lagos. or give me your phone number so that we can talk.

Thanks,

Ub4h Eric IIoba.

Did Jim say he was going to Lagos?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:15 am

And Ugo N0lly---director of Nollywood, don't you know?---is quick to reply...

Lad wrote:

DEAR JACK Smeh0fik
i really appreciate your mail how are you and you family over there hope all is cool ? Yes, i am the Chief director Nollywood,movie also an expert in the general service . Modeling move into West America in a big way and other country to enjoy them. hello dear friend
i really appreciate your reply once more you are welcome to Nigeria i am one of the prominent man in this country Nigeria , here in Nigeria is that easy to find a will talented models both females and male but all i want you to no is that help as you help in this deal but before any submitted model you have to pay in some money for there ticket and you have to give me the main address where i will import them for you but i will send you there photos and true there TV appearances, stage appearances and second i will send you there main photograph each in full standing, with neutral face expression ok.tell me how many you need for now male and female take care yes i have your cell number now here is my +234809999999 i will be glad to hear from you soon .

Oh my! It sounds like he thinks he's dealing with a human-trafficking business!

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:04 am

And finally for this morning's round-up: Things are not looking at all good for the Kodj0vi safari. This was sent to Fake Jim this morning...

Lad wrote:

dear friend.

thanks for your advice it might be very easy to move models out like that from nigeria but now frol togo.
have a wonderful weekened. unless mr oldman send some money to show support then we go if not we stay. many scammers yes he said but still many companies that try to cheat on people and carry us away just like that because we are africans and poor i am not part of that injustice.

kodj0vi

Jim did his best but sometimes lads just didn't intend to go anywhere in the first place and all the persuading in the world won't move them.

Fake Jim wrote:

dear Kodj0vi,
i hear you bro and i unedrstand it.this doesnt mean i think u are making some good choice but is your choice so you make it for your personel reason.ok i am finne w/ that,wish i coud change ur minde but i dont force d issue on you like that, is free world ok? every man must makes is own future even the wrong onse, like is that what my people say here.
may be next time?hope see you there bro.
peace,
Mr Jim

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:24 am

Otterfan wrote:

Did Jim say he was going to Lagos?

Not that I know of but Lagos would be en route from Port Harcourt to Benin...maybe Jim can fly? I´ll try to look for a reasonable flight if available.

"F*cking 419er wrote:

many companies that try to cheat on people and carry us away just like that because we are africans and poor i am not part of that injustice.

I hate that! - Well, after some moments of RL setting in, I sent him this reply:

Quote:

Dear Applicant,

We are leaving in a few hours. So be informed that our company has been cheated by criminals who were only receiving any upfront help that in the past, we had been willing to wire to them, and never turned up at our event, not even at the bus meeting place, where they would have received their envelope with contract payment in United States Dollar currency.

Instead, they preferred to not to attend.

This happened in 2007 in Lima, Peru. South America. We changed our working conditions til then.

I perfectly understand the agents´ needs for money. That´s why we prefer to meet them in person at the designated starting point of the shuttle bus. This gives them time to obtain everytzhing they need for the show right in Cotonou in the 2 or 3 hours until we can enter the bus together (leaving at 3:45 PM, am I correct?).

We have done the same in October 2008 and have not experienced any problems with the shuttle and accomodation service of any sort. In fact, we have found one of the most dedicated agents from the English speaking part of the region, which turned out to be a growing and more important market to us, more important than South America for 2009 and 2010.

I wish you, the agent, a safe journey.

Regards, RandalI

Only Ubah brightens my noon break:

Quote:

Hello Randy,

How are you today, hope fine, i write to inform you that i Ubah E I had made up my mind to honour your Company Invitation In Benin Republic. Loving to meet you all there. but always keep me updated till date.

Thanks,

Ubah E I.

W-o-w....what would we do without him? Doesn´t he deserve a special escort and a 55C-helicopter?

EDIT Unrelated to the above, but talking of the devil, Dan the lotto man reappeared just now :

Quote:

[email protected]

Yes im counting on you.

critto:

Da: RandaII O :
Dear Sir, with respect to your original proposition, are you counting on me?

He will never stop, will he?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:50 pm

to pat from Ub@h 3ric

Quote:

Hello P@tricia,

Many thanks for your email, i will come.

Thanks,

Ub@h Eric Il0ba

looks like we have a go

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:41 am

We´ll just wait and see...

K0dj0vi (41.207.162.6 Togo, just in case...) writes again once more:

Quote:

YOU ARE NOT HONEST TO YOUR DUTY AND PROMISES.

So he (and Ubah as well) gets my prepared script :

Quote:

Dear Mr. K0dj0vi and group,

P3ndjari is a wonderful place, we have just arrived a few hours ago and we are stunned yet again about the beauty of the North Benin scenery, the reliability of our partner bank to provide the prepared payment envelopes, and the absolutely exuberant and hospitable service of 51mba 5afari Ltd.

We are waiting for our guests to arrive, together with some photography people, and the models we have ordered for the photoshooting session from Feb 6th to Feb 8th.

Jack and Pat will join the Cotonou - P3ndjari shuttle bus tomorrow and collect you from the designated meting point.

As soon as the driver sees your personal E-Ticket, you may enter the shuttle bus. We will be there a little prior to 3:45 PM to be able to welcome you inside the bus and to pay for your travel expenses (250 $, I think, are appropriate) , which, together with your first agent´s salary of 7.000 $$, will be given to you in a sealed envelope by Mr. Jack S, totalling 7.250 $$.

Every model you manage to introduce to us at this event, who only needs to sign the form for us (we can do that on the ride up to P3ndjari), will also receive the 5000 $ initial payment.

You may also familiarize with our other guests, including young models, seasoned local and international model photographers, and a few of our sponsorers.
These are contacts that will be vital for your future agent´s career at M00seknuckle Modeling.

Let me finally say that, as a special gift for the trouble you may have to get to the meeting place in Cotonou, the gold watch that we promise EVERY new agent will be handed out to you in the shuttle bus tomorrow just as well.

Looking forward to meeting you there. You will see that M00sseknuckle is a company that pays for good service and we are willing to take a business risk. Aren´t you?

Regards, RandaII

Even if this one does not work out, i can reuse this script, slightly amended, the next time...and the next 10 times !

Reply from Ub4h in (41.222.69.212 Nigeria (Lagos)* - I wish to see you in Benin tomorow!):

Quote:

Hello Randy, Thank for your email response, i planed to be with you in Benin. Thanks, Ub4h EI

I don´t trust him...what do you mean, you "planned"?!?

EDIT Over the above nuisances, I have forgotten to formally accept Chris´ application. Today he nudges me:

Quote:

Dear RandaII,
How are you and work aswell/ Sir for somedays now i have been expecting you to get back to me favourably like you promised in your last mail to me but all to no avail, I am writing to enquire if it is lack of chance or if any thing is the matter, you know as a new man in the field i expected things to go on smoothly, for example my coleague Mike told me you,ve just sent him his appointment letter, Sir what then is delaying mine,
SIR FOR YOUR CO OPERATION.
Chris

Of course there were no problems with the application. It was posted on this forum more than a week ago.

Quote:

Dear Christopher,

I´m sorry for the delay in replying, the reason being, I thought you were sent the M00seknuckle Employment Contract to but it seems you were not.

Please find it attached to this email. It is only your signature that we need on the bottom of this two-page form.

Your agent´s application has been accepted days ago.

With the completion of the Employment Contract, you can consider yourself a full employee of M00seknuckle Modeling, just as well as John and Mike can.

Congratulations!

Regards, RandaII

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:03 pm

Quote:

Hello Randy,

I write to inform you that Dr, Uju M called me just some few hours ago telling me that due to his health condition that is coming to Benin is under probability. But i will come by tomorrow as i promised.

Thanks,

Ubah E I.

Maybe because the doctor is just your alter ego. Never mind about that - go ahead, man !!!
41.222.69.212 still Nigeria (Lagos)

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:10 pm

I think it was very sweet and professional for Ub@h to let you know. Most lads wouldn't even dream of being so nice! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:43 pm

I´ve liked his hip hop CD covers, errrr, works that prove he will be a fantastic modeling agent, from the beginning!

Sent this to this lad´s doctor character, who got the whole thing going:

Quote:

Dear Sir Dr. Uiu M,

I have just found some time to email some suppliers and have read Mr. Ub4h´s email.

Please accept the best wishes for a speedy recovery from the whole team at M00seknuckle´s !

We are looking forward to meet your friend in Cotonou tomorrow afternoon. We are sure he will socialize with our people easily.

Thanks very much for your help and support.

--
Faithfully yours, R. O

I´m as certain as I can be that he will have an "accident" or "rubbery" before he arrives in Cotonou, like Dan...

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:49 pm

Called K0dj0vi as Pat (SlapHappy) and Jack. 5 minutes of group arguing about advance fees.

http://www.4shared.com/file/84636061/e39fecd2/MM_k0dj_SH_F.html

Thanks to SlapHappy (again!) for techie assistance !

EDIT Now look at this new applicant !

Quote:

MODELING CONTRACT (4MK4LG3N MODELING LTD)

Good day

Mr. RandaI,

Sir,

I am Mr. Genius K. Am4h, the CEO of 4MK4LGEN MODELING LTD. I operate within west africa and we I have been in a business of organizing young models male and female for many years and we have also won many awards, below are few pictures of some model stars that work with me, I will like to represent your organization in West Africa, I am not interested in your money but I will like to give you the quality service that will Zoom you to the highest point of African Modeling Show. Nevertheless is you will know what it takes to put a model team together you will have to give me your financial backup, if we can enter into partnership then let me know and for my commission you will know what you will pay me, I will organize different model teams and will even invite you if you are willing to come. (or vice versa!)

Find bellow the few attached pictures of our modeling stars.

Yours faithfully

Mr. Genius K. Am4h
CEO 4MK4LGEN MODELING LTD.
WEST AFRICA
GHANA
TEL: +2330000000000

The above email - full of contradictions, he wants no money but he knows we will pay him! - comes with just 20 attachments!!! He must have spent a busy night with Google Images.
Here are some he "personalized" though :

<=tinfoil hat?
Will he like the application form? Very Happy

Stay tuned !

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:33 pm

Jack (played by FrumpyBB) dropped out on the call at the end. But I wasn't finished with him. I forgot to push the record button, but I told him, "if he wasn't going to be serious and fulfill his obligations to the company and show up by 3:45PM tomorrow, that the company would be done with him when the bus rolled away to the camp at 3:46PM. He would be fired from his job and paid nothing!" He kept saying , "Wait! Wait! Let me tell you! Listen!" Then, I hung up on him. It was funny, and I'm pissed off that I didn't hit record. Rookie mistake... Embarassed

I love the new Tinfoil Man up there above^^^...We want these guys. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:15 pm

Email from the Ub4h lad friend

Quote:

Dear Partner randy,

How are you today, hope fine, i write to notify you that the time of my
travel arrangement is too short, meaning i can not make the trip, but my
Friend Ub4h E I, will be availabe for you people.

Finally, ensure that you make solid arrangement with him.

Thanks,

Ub4h.Huh?!?

Time is too short? And Ub4h said the doctor was ill!
By the way, he signed "Ub4h"! Very Happy

He should have signed with "Dr. Uiu" Laughing

Are we xxited?!?

Remember the leader of the N0llywood movie industry? Well, he is too important to fill in our 10 page form.

Quote:

hello dear
i really appreciate your reply.i will start be telling you who i ma and
where i am from my name is (Ug0 N0lly)
i am the chief director of Nolly wood in Nigeria so i have done this type
of deal with other company both my company ok i did not see any way that i
will scam you or cheat on you because if you do it to me i will try my
effort to kill you so don't you ever in any way tell me about scam here ok
,tell me how many model that you need and i will tell you how i will it work
out for you ok , the number of female and male, i will stop here happy to
hear from you soon send me your phone number to reach you bye for now .

Wow. I´m breathless.

Quote:

hello dear friend
i really appreciate your reply once more you are welcome to Nigeria i am one
of the prominent man in this country Nigeria , here in Nigeria is that easy
to find a will talented models both females and male but all i want you to
no is that help as you help in this deal but before any submitted model you
have to pay in some money for there ticket and you have to give me the main
address where i will import them for you but i will send you there photos
and true there TV appearances, stage appearances and second i will send you
there main photograph each in full standing, with neutral face expression
ok.tell me how many you need for now male and female take care .i also need
your cell number.

Quote:

hello RandeII o
how are you and all the rest of things over there ?
is true that you dont really understand the type of man you are having
deal with i am Ug0 N0lly the chief excutive manager of nollywood
industry ok .if your company really wan't me to put a help i will do
that for god sake i have told you that provide the amout and number of
model's your company is needed ok beside i gave some onece that are
on market now tell me this model that you need will they be there
forever?beside i have contacted jack .

Is that a threat?!?

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:57 pm

Jack isn't too impressed with people who threaten his staff...

Jack wrote:

Dear Ugo N0lly,

Thank you for you last email. I read it this morning and I was very pleased about the things you mentioned.

But then I talked to RandaII Oldman and apparently you've been threatening him and, basically, puffing your chest out and boasting about being some big-shot important person simply to bully my employee into doing things your way.

This is not acceptable in any situation, especially not when you are hoping to be working with my people in my company. I will not have people like you threatening and intimidating my staff.

Please calm your behavior right down and act like a civil and sensible human being.

thank you,

Jack

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:42 am

As expected, Ko0dv0ji sticks to the more convenient behaviour of begging and whining. Whatever, he invests time inbegging and whining. Sent 1 hour ago.

Quote:

THERE IS STILL MORE TIME SEND THE MONEY SIR

Dear Mr 0ldman.
One of our proverbs says that one who is to be fed well will know by the smell of the food.
thanks for your letter. we will not comethis is very simple. we prefer to work with companies that will understand us and respect our feelings than million dollar comapnies that will not respect our feelings. if you want us to come you must show that you want us to come by your sponsorship support. we are not saying that you should send the whole money but at least you must send some good money so that we can fly donw there within two hours ok.
our models refused to go because they were not sponsored. by the way how honest do you think you are when it is difficult for you to support your models. i have taken enough time to work on our models for exportation and they are not new so they have been taught what is going on. we went through your file we know what you want. even if you want to pick up a harlot at the motel at least you will let her have some money before show at least good rid home. so this money is just for that . if we come you will also see the different betwen our models from others like that from nigeria portharcourt that will be coming with my jim. i wonder how mr jim will do that without any support . mr 0ldman we have already contributed enough. send the money and we will be there or forget about us . we can get better company and i know that the american market is now very hot looking for new people for the new government. yes new government new models and helpers within the house. i hope you get me right.
waiting for the 2250 that i told you. whe we come we will then have the balance of 5000 from you as you promised.
thanks for the yester night call with miss vice secratary. i was very much impressed i will like to be there but over the telephone i told you to send to us some money to support us come over. i was very suprised that you write to me still given series of stories. people that work what you are doing do not go by stories but by actions i have enjoyed such company before from milan. i can send to you some of our shows so that you will see.
waiting for the money. send it direct to me via western union from benin to lome togo.
as soon as you send it just call me to inform me from benin so that we will appear. five models and me and mary. what a good outlook there will be with our appearance in our own way of appearing. will the show be televised ? so that we know our kits to come with.
GOOD WISHES AND WAITING AND WELCOMING YOU TO WEST AFRICA.
KISS TO ALL.
K0DJ0VI.

There is still something to work with. He is right, when I want a harlot. Maybe Rrrrandy would want to "hire" K0dj0vi privately...

However, this in from Ubah just a minute ago:

Quote:

What is Happening

Hello Randy;

I am not happy with you people arrangement, i has been in Nvotel Hotel but none of you is there, Please get in toch with me:

Thanks:

Ubah E I

41.223.251.26 Benin* SAFARI Very Happy

This just in from Ubah´s doctor character:

Quote:

Dear Partner Randy,
My friend just cqlled me now from Benin that he did not see any of you at the N0v0tel Hotel:

Any problem:

Regqrds;

Dr, Uju

Also 41.223.251.26 Benin

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:06 pm

Whooooo! Told ya Eric Ubah would make it!

I have some stuff in Jack's account that I haven't read yet, might be Eric whining. Or... not.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:25 pm

FrumpyBB wrote:

One of our proverbs says that one who is to be fed well will know by the smell of the food.

Here's another: "All that glitters is not gold", bee-itch. Hah!! Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:40 pm

Quote:

I WILL WAIT FOR SOME TIME BEFORE GOING BACK TO NIGERIA§ BUT IT IS VERY PAINFUL

Hello Randy,

I had check on the Hotel. i did not see any of your name in there booking sheet: Please do not fail me sir.

Regards,

Ubah

We need to do something about that Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Ubah,

We will arrive in Cotonou at the time designated, so do not worry.

We have just had a 30 minute rest at some station here in mid-Benin.
As we are told by Usman our driver, we will need approximately 2 hours until we finally can load up our supplies and pick you up at the N0v0tel Hotel.

We need to travel on now.

Seeing you soon

Regards, RandaII

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:57 pm

Jack also got the "You're not in the Novotel!" whiny email, so I replied...

Jack wrote:

Dear Eric Ub4h,

I am not sure what you are telling me. We are not in the Novotel Hotel. The bus pick-up point is outside of the hotel, but the hotel itself has nothing to do with us or our event. We just use their fame so people know where to wait for the bus.

I hope you get this message in time. Remember... the bus will be waiting OUTSIDE the Novotel at 3.45pm.

I hope to see you soon.

Jack

So, he has Jack's and Randy's email all telling him what and where and how, etc. It could be a repeat of the employment contract fiasco again...

... or maybe not.

This just in from Eric.

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack.

Many thanks for your email; i will be waiting at the front of the Hotel.

I am still in Cotonou:

Thanks;

Ub4h Eric IIoba:

IP = 41.223.251.26 Benin

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:17 pm

This came in to Fake Jim's account even though it is addressed to MM staff...

Lad wrote:

mr oldman and mr jack
i am happy to come to benin but you people refuse to support our movement. yesterday i have some talk with our miss lady togo and she promised me to give me the best modls but i do not understand what you people are doing. i hope that this show was prepared very well by you ? yes i ask because from the way you are saying that we come without support it makes me to think whether you realy know the show you are into here in africa because definitely some people will come but thees are the lower level models which will not be full representatives of west african man or woman yes this is true.. we do not know any good outfit that will make tarvel all the way from another country to another countrybwithout any support. we are waiting for you to send us the money to come otherwise you have just waisted our time and that will be too bad i promise you that we will come as soon as we receive the money. we are total of five models now coming ok and at least we need some good money for that.kodj0vi said at least you siad 520 dollars for each and that is 1250 dollar for five plus some little outfit and super wears outfit for heavy show or do you just want to present anyhow people to a whole mr jack and co . think about that. we will be there before 2.30 pm if we get the money.we already get invitation by one company from america also from another state maily watshinton. we are likely to get good pay from them and we are going there very soon if you do not respect your agreement . we all here where following your steps with kodj0vi and we see that you are not keeping to your promise. when kodj0vi send the form to me to send to you and that after that we will receive your promised pay after that you send agreement which we hard wanted not to sign but we do it just to give you benefit of doubt which you are trying to sell out cheap as if you want to plany on our intelligence because we are africans and that is against your questions in your form. you should be able to also reflect what you ask people in your forms ok?.
I am not happy that we have not booked to come. to show that we are safe and you raelly want us to come send us supporing money or just forget about us and thank and God bless your company for waisting our time;. i think i have to report this to mr jack because i am not sure that he as awar of this because he also wrote to say that if we send te agreement that is all. what you do is to come back to quote agreement for us. in fact send the money or stay on your company. minister is not in twon and will not welcome that. he has gone for some of his secret business as a minister i hope you know what we are doing. do you know whow much we will pay for moving out of the country for some show? you do not know you think that africa is just free movement just like that. i am not happy if we miss this show mr oldman.
send the money and let kodj0vi take us to come there.
yours future love
mary.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:05 pm

And while waiting for Eric to miss the bus, here's an update on the Johnk team.

Jack wrote:

Dear John,

What a great email you sent to me! It's full of the enthusiasm that I first saw in you back in December before your accident. I'm glad to see that the Kwuf0du Fire is coming back to full strength, and even more pleased that it's being used to further the M00seknuckle Modeling cause. You're a star, John, and I'm glad you're on the team.

I will write to the 0budu Ranch people and inform them that you and your group will be arriving on the 18th of February. I will describe your intentions there and I will ask them if they can treat you and your two colleagues with extra special care.
I will write more about that subject tomorrow when I have more time and can lay everything out carefully so I don't forget anything and so it makes sense. I have a small list of things that I would like you to try your hardest to find out or bring back so that we have the best information to make a decision about 0budu.
Do you have access to any sort of recording device? And by this, I mean any type of device. Ideally, I am thinking of a video camera, but I realize that this might be too expensive if you don't already have one. If not, then an audio recorder (mp3 recorder or cassette recorder) or even a still camera. I'm asking because, obviously, it would be great if you and your team could record different features of 0budu Ranch Resort so we can see them ourselves. If we look at advertising for the place, we are sure to be looking at pictures that are taken only because they show the best parts. But if someone who is honest and truthful such as yourself or your colleagues take some pictures or recordings, I will know that these are 100% truth and are not edited to make things look better than they really are. I hope you understand what I mean here.
That's just something think about, though, so I don't surprise with it at the last minute.

Now, about the location of a permanent office... I like the sound of locating us in Victoria Island. I've heard a little about it and know what you mean about it being specially for business and commerce. Would it be possible to get a map of the place? Or some brochures from the people who rent or sell the land there? There must be someone or some company who holds the land and lets it out, so they'll be the best person to ask.

wishing you and your colleagues all the best,

Jack

Now, before I start hearing cries of "ITP! ITP!" consider who, exactly, is in danger of being harmed by what the plan involves. I think there's more chance of a WU employee being abused or physically attacked by a frustrated lad holding a fake MTCN than there is of any harm coming to any of the 0budu Ranch people from the Johnk Three.

Jack writes to one of the addresses listed on the 0budu website.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sirs,

I hope this is the correct address to send this message to. If not, please direct it to the relevant person/address.

I am the CEO of a modeling company, M00seknuckle Modeling Enterprises LLC, a medium-sized modeling and promotions firm based in Chicago, USA.

We are currently trying to establish a presence in the West African region---a region that is severely under-represented in the global modeling business---and to do this we hold modeling "events" at business and holiday centres in various countries in the West Africa area. The management here has been recommended that your resort, 0budu Ranch Resort, in the east part of Nigeria might be a suitable place for such an event.

I have made preparations for a group of representatives to attend your resort and to assess the facilities, then to report back with their findings and opinions about the suitability. I am writing so that your management staff might be aware that such people will be coming, to give you time for any guided tour or information packs that you may wish to give them in order that they receive the truest impression of your resort.

If you have no objections to their coming on such a scouting mission, I will supply you with more details (e.g., date of arrival, names of all the group, and so on) when requested.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Jack M. Smeh0fik
CEO, M00seknuckle Modeling Enterprises LLC

I'm not requesting that they give Johnk & Co free accommodation or anything like that (even though they might, who knows?). I'm asking simply that the group be given a guided tour and ready-made promotional material, that's all. Anything else given to Johnk's group from 0budu is at the discretion of the 0budu Resort management.
I'm not even sure if they'll reply.

In the meantime, Johnk writes.

Lad wrote:

Sir
Thanks for your mail sir. And permit me to go straight to the theme contents of your mail, first and foremost thanks for accepting my date for 0budu trip and thanks for the suggestions you laid down, actually i personally had it in mind to organise such amenities like videoing the environment under a special arrangement with the Resort management and Authorities, meanwhile someone will be hired for covering the place, i am even thinking of recruiting a specialist in photography and videoing into our team if you could give me the chance, having such will be smoothing and fastening my project what you will rather do is providing those equipment for uses, m00senuckle properties,
I shall go ahead for the properties locations in the Vic Island imediately but you ve not told what the property will look like , is it a flat, aduplex, or a bungallo i mean it is wise i know to enable me negotiate,
but for the place i know we must get something which you might like,
Sir you ve not forgotten the rest things, i hope the i d will get to us soon.
Think about these and get back to me.
John,

"flat, duplex, or bungalow"? We're not looking for a house, Johnk!

And he wants to use MM video equipment? Well, under normal circumstances that would be the thing to do, but to ship out that much stuff at such notice? They'd never arrive in time. Use your own money, Johnk, and hire a camcorder for a few days!

Yesterday was quite busy for me elsewhere so I couldn't reply to any lads at all.

Lad wrote:

Sir,
I hope all is well, for the first time you refused to get back to me on time, Wat is is going on sir,
I have good news over the permanent site asignment that you gave to me, Sir it is not easy i had to pay to the agents some money for consultations, along the line i saw a more business area than victoria Island, Ikeja Allen Avenue, by the time i hear from you i will be able to send to you th prices of the properties that is if you can tell me what we needed exactly.I am begining to procure a lot of expenses for this noble cause sir what do we do rent a taxi run round ikeja and victoria island please advice me,
John

Nice to read! Bribes for officials and lots of expenses. I hope he's keeping the receipts to scan and send to me so I can see exactly how much of his scam-based money he's spent on this venture.

It's been a few days since I wrote to 0budu Resort and I was wondering if they were considering I was not being serious, but this morning I get a reply!

0budu Resort wrote:

Dear Jack,

Trust this mail finds you well.

And thanks for choosing 0budu.

We will like to inform you that your team is welcome anytime for this inspection,please do provide us necessary details for us to prepare adequately for them.

Also be assured of our total support for this event.

Thanks as we look forward to your response.

Joke

I really hope "Joke" is this person's name and not a comment about my email.

Anyway, assuming it's the person's name, Jack replies...

Jack wrote:

Dear Joke,

Thank you for your positive response to my inquiry. I am very pleased that you and the management at 0budu Mountain Resort will welcome my group of representatives.

You asked for details of the group, so here are their names:
- John Kwuf0du (he's the leader of the group)
- Mike 0ruekhigbemen
- Chris Aw0rh
They are all traveling from Lagos.

Would it be possible to have a member of staff give them a guided tour, pointing out the facilities, on both the leisure and the business/conference sides? I have asked John if he can pick up as much promotional and advertising material as possible from you, so perhaps an information pack could be made available to him for this purpose? Also, is it allowed for him to take recordings (videocamera, sound, or still photography) of your property? I understand if this is not permitted, but I have asked him to record his impressions and experiences so that we can get a visitor's honest opinion about your resort.

John Kwuf0du has told me that he intends to arrive at your resort on the 18th of February. However, there may be unavoidable delays because of the length of journey from Lagos to 0budu. If the group should be delayed, the arrival date will be set back obviously. I hope that this will not happen but I am mentioning it as a possibility.

If there are any more questions you would like to ask, you can email me at any time and I will do my best to answer them.

regards.

Jack

Again, I'm not asking for anything that a company wouldn't give out to a genuine postential customer making an enquiry about the resort.

And time for a reply for Johnk because he's pining for Jack...

Jack wrote:

Dear John,

My deepest apologies for not replying sooner. I really wish there were two or three of me because I am in demand in so many different places and for so many different reasons. We're also planning our South America show and we ran into some difficulties which needed my attention.

It's only 6am here so I'll reply to your direct questions and then get back to you about your other matters when I've had some breakfast and sorted out my schedule for the day.

Yes, please keep all of your receipts that show how much expenses you've paid out in the course of MM business. I can only authorize such payments if there's an official receipt to match it, so always ask for a receipt! Or at least an invoice with "PAID" stamped/written on it. Anything else will be laughed at by our auditors.
It sounds good that you're also looking at other places, too, not just Victoria Island. I would like the best place possible so looking everywhere is the best way to do that.
As for the property type... it's to be our West African main office, so there must be plenty of room for at least 10 office workers... more space would be better, but 10 is the minimum. We also want a reception area for visitors and guests to wait in when visiting us, and also (this is an important thing, I feel), a room for displaying our previous work that has come in from the West Africa region. The ideal for this part of the office would be in a room with large windows that get a lot of light. Of course, we're prepared to rebuild the interior of an existing building if nothing can be found that matches our requirements.

What sort of information did you get from consultations? Remember to try and get some actual literature and documentation from them so you can pass it to me and I can show the rest of the board here. Reports are good, but actual promotional material for the properties is even better. Photographs that you yourself took would be a nice bonus, too, but not essential.

Okay, I can smell some excellent coffee drifting in from the kitchen that Mrs Duke has made (she's the housekeeper here... her coffee is a drink beyond all description) so I guess it's time for breakfast.

Keep me informed, keep your receipts, and remember to collect as much promotional/advertising material for the office spaces as you can!

best wishes

Jack

Lad wrote:

Sir
YOURS WAS RECEIVED AND THE CONTENTS COMPREHENEDED, I SHALL KEEP YOU POSTED IN DUE COURSE AND SUPPLY YOU WITH THE REST INFORMATIONS.
jOHN

Continuing the dialogue with Mike, second man in the team...

Jack wrote:

Dear Mike,

That is good to know, about John sharing the information with you. I thought he might but I wanted to make sure so I knew exactly how informed you were about what is happening.

I assume, also, that he is including you and Chris in the other project that he is keen to do for us, that being the finding of a suitable location for a permanent MM office in Nigeria. He has suggested the Victoria Island area, which he says is a place especially marked for business and commerce. What do you think about the place? Let me know your thoughts, as I like to get as many opinions as possible.

regards,

Jack

Lad wrote:

sir, Thank you for your mail, i am happy to read from you.
concerning the place i can say with hundred percent that the place is wonderful, beautiful and a business center.i hope to hear from you sir.
Thanks Faithfully yours Mike.

That's good to know.

Lad wrote:

sir,
Quite an age and do i hope all is well?
i called Mr John to enquire but he could not say much yesterday, He said
he was in victoria island.
what sir? is the next line of action? we are ready and burning with curiousity.
kindly get back to me.
Thanks Mike.

Jack wrote:

Dear Mike,

Thanks for writing to me! It's good that I can talk to you and to John, too, and not just send everything through John.

The good news is that in the last few minutes I have heard from the 0budu Resort staff and they say that it is okay for you three gentlemen to arrive and inspect the place. I have written back immediately and told them your names and asked them a few questions about giving you information and promotional leaflets, etc.
They seem very favorable to the expedition. Perhaps you can pass this on to John and Chris? I wrote to John earlier but that was before I had received the email from the 0budu staff.

As for looking for property for a permanent MM office... John wrote to me and told me that he has been looking at other placs, too, not just Victoria Island, and has been having consultations with some people about this. Do you have any more details? Do you know about this?
Anyway, I replied to John, as I said before, and told him the basic requirements for the property. Perhaps you can consult with him and he'll show you the contents of that email.

And pass my apologies on to Chris for the slow response he got from Randy's department in accepting his application form. I don't know what exactly happened there, but I can understand Mr Aw0rh's concern that nothing had come back. I hope all is sorted out in that area now.

best wishes,

Jack

I think they're all happy and smiling and still enthusiastic to travel to the other of Nigeria on MM business. How perfect.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:52 pm

The bus pick-up time has passed and there's no word (as far as I know) from Eric.

My Fake Jim sends this little message of encouragement...

Fake Jim wrote:

dear Eric Ub4h,
bro where are u? d bus is waiting outside the hotel and says will live in five (5) minites, we r waiting for you as last person to come down and picked.
i can not wait for ur reply bcos the bus lives soon and i must get back there bcos i come out to find some email computer to write u. com soon or miss the bus oooooooo
peace,
Mr Jim

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:10 pm

Mr Ub@h is not happy, he sends this to pat

Quote:

Hello RPatricia;

I am not happy with you people arrangement, i has been in Nv0tel Hotel but none of you is there, Please get in toch with me:

Thanks:

Ub@h 3ric Il0ba

Pat has a hangover so she can't reply..

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:37 pm

Hangover? Nonsense! Shocked

Well guys, mewing_ghecko has offered me Pat's job here at your Company, and I have accepted. I hope that I can uphold the high standards that have distinguished this modeling company above all others around the world. Very Happy

Now, what's this about a safari? Ub@h is streaded? huh? Confused

I better go catch up. If you want me to do anything now, shoot me a PM.
FrumpyBB is not around at the moment to give me direction. Smile

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:26 pm

^^^ Oh, hello there! You'll find Pat's chair is still warm.

I've had nothing from Eric Ub4h, so he gets a where-are-you note from ever-caring Jack...

Jack wrote:

Dear Eric Ub4h,

Where are you? The driver reports that he has one person missing, that he waited for an extra fifteen minutes, and still had one person missing when he departed.

I hope nothing bad has happened to you so that you couldn't make it. Let me know how things are right now, please. I'm worried about you.

best,

Jack

Chances are, though, he is on his way back home.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:46 pm

@OF - Frumpy and I just tried his phone number. No answer. It's now 7:45PM Benin time. Randy is sending an email in a few minutes to Ub@h. We will try to get him to Parakou, if he is still hanging in Benin.
The shuttle broke down! Damn potholes broke the suspension.
Randy and Pat are stuck in Parakou for a couple days or more? Ub@h needs to catch a commercial bus to Parakou. Cool

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