The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:43 am

@ Juan:

You don't by chance go by the name James, do you?

:sigh:

I really must be a Valentine's whore. I have 2 wonderful suitors, yet I am easily distracted. First, the crazy squirrel. Now, Harry, jose, Juan, and someone named James. Luckily Ghost is my brother, or I might be interested in him too.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:49 am

I have only a few seconds to be on line, but wabted to send my beloved Dramaqueen a big virtual cyber valentines hug. I don't have time for the cyber back rub, but will some time this next week.

I hope you are wel, my lovely...

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:54 am

SSA: Thank you for your lovely, lovely poem. I never thought singed chicken feathers could be so romantic.

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Sep 2008 Posts: 236

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

You've set yourself up for a lifetime's work there. The list is never-ending. You might want to practice writing "I hate Jojobean" a few times as well, as that features prominently.
No need to defend me either. Their attacks are like the beatings of a butterfly's wings against a grizzly bear's asshole - they're insignificant to me.
And when I take over the world, I've got something a lot more gruesome than oil, thumbscrews and leeches. Believe me. Some of these goppers will be begging for oil, thumbscrews and leeches.

That said, I like your style. We could get on like a house on fire (smoke, screaming, people running away and shit).
But before we go any further, I gotta ask you - are you a hot chick? I must warn you I don't dig sea-monsters. It's hot or not I'm afraid.
Oh yeah. Please check that you're not a guy either. Like that filthy pervert Callum.

Would you like the list written in the blood of lads, or will ordinary ink do well?
I must confess to being a jealous and vindictive woman. Anyone who dares to slander your good name makes my blood boil. But if you deem the vermin insignificant, than I shall try to emulate your brilliance.

I don't know if I would ever class myself as hot I'm afraid, I've been brought up to be modest, but I can assure you, 100%, that I am female.

I can bring the matches if you want to try setting someone on fire?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:25 am

I really don't have time to keep up with this shit. Can anyone tell me, while editing the losers (ie: those that think jojo is even partially intelligent), which ladies are currently in line to cyber-bang me?

Sluts.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:52 am

MeridianAlicante wrote:

I must confess to being a jealous and vindictive woman.

Jealousy and vindictiveness are two of the qualities I admire most in a woman.

@Prof. I see you still haven't lost the romantic touch.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:44 am

So many PMs.

Just goes to prove girls, show a bit of R's and the sports channel soon loses it's hypnotic effect.

@ Mr Woo (suggest "Sultan of Woo") more mysterious and, I think, apt.

Wink

Major kudos to the member that discovered that the cathartic indeed comes from a track by Aeveron.

Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:08 am

Professor So And So wrote:

Sluts.

Dear Mr. Professor, please, I beg of you, do not use such foul language on this forum. Some of us are not accustom to hearing such degrading terms. Women should not be thought of as mere sex objects. Let them nurture you into becoming a caring, loving person.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:45 am

Cathartic Kate wrote:

@ Mr Woo (suggest "Sultan of Woo") more mysterious and, I think, apt.

Wink

I have read your sweet words and what I will do
Is change my name to the "Sultan of Woo"

Quote:

Major kudos to the member that discovered that the cathartic indeed comes from a track by Aeveron. Laughing

Well that really is a shame,
I did not use google on your name,
googling is what I normally reserve for scum
Not a girl with such a sweet bum

I may have been looking forward to finding how "Cathartic you are"
My understanding is that "cathartic" refers to sudden emotional climax that brings great joy and excitement. perhaps you will be "cathartic" after all Wink

I am also happy to hear that you have been getting PMs from other suitors, all men or boys I suppose, enjoy them Cathartic Kate, you deserve the wooing of more than just one

Edit
Harry, I will have a few hours to spare later in the afternoon, would you care to join me for tea and speak of the wonderous happenings in the orphanage, I believe there is about to be a very large financial injection of $250,000,000 USD TWO HUNDED AND FIFTY MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS

BTW Harry, if we were to do what we did with our avatars once before, we had best change them first, people will begin to speak Wink

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:34 pm

Murray sweet Murray, my Sultan of woo.
Please do not worry, my heart beats true.
But for who?
Is it you?
Is that a canoe?

Rolling Eyes

I have other suitors it is true,
Some young,some old, some very bold.
(must remember to get more bold blue..eggs & milk & a galaxy too)

Sorry, mind just rambled, BRB, need the loo.

Wink

Where was I?

Underwear is red,
Violets make me sneeze,
Take me to you bed,
And do as you ......

Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:35 pm

Professor So And So wrote:

... while editing the losers (ie: those that think jojo is even partially intelligent)...

I think I may have been insulted. Confused

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

@fife -- I apologize for my lengthy time away (believe me, even a few hours seems like an eternity), but please know that I have been busy making further preparations.

After the costume ball at my chateau I realize that you might prefer to get away to some place warm. So, I have spent the last few days overhauling one of my jets. It is now ready for your dainty feet to grace the hand-woven wool carpet:

I thought a jaunt over to the Seychelles Islands might be in order. There is some impressive topography:

Here's the view from my little hut:

After we've recovered from our jet lag on the deck, I though a massage might be in order:

And then perhaps....our first kiss? Dare I dream?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:37 pm

And what are you all on about???? Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:43 pm

Harry,

Your new persona is a very nice one! It is, of course, a bit scary, to see such a transformation, but.... never the less, the "kinder, gentler" Harry is, well, kinder and gentler.... OF COURSE IT'S ALL AN ACT

Respecfully,

Doc

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:48 pm

Who's Harry?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:54 pm

@Doc, you are too kind. I am embarrassed at some of the posts I have made in the past. I guess I was just trying to fit in with the "in" crowd, you know, like peer pressure to try cigarettes in high school. I am asking for forgiveness from all of my friends here at Eater. To repent, I will start a seven day fast, allowing myself only water.

@Corona, you dear, sweet lady. Do not associate yourself with me. I would hate to think that others here will think less of you because you know me.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:58 pm

See, Corona? THAT'S the NEW Harry!

Harry, if this is inded a tru transformation, I am so happy for you. Of course, that miracle will attract lots of eater ladies, to see the raw, course, vulgar, borderline abusive, sexist old you grow to be this, well, I identified it as "kinder and gentler" you. DON'T BE FOOLED LADIES! IT'S A GAMBIT TO BRING YOUR GUARD DOWN!

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:03 pm

dr stephen williams wrote:

Of course, that miracle will attract lots of eater ladies

Dear Doc, I am flattered that you feel that way about me, but let me correct something. I certainly do not want to attract Eater ladies. I just want to do the right thing.

As always, your friend,
Harry

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:04 pm

The transformation was so shocking, it caused Doc to stutter and post twice. Laughing

Dear Harry:

I am truly impressed. I am sure there will be a line of eligible woman wanting to share this romantic holiday with you. If I wasn't already being woo'd by 2, I would make my case for you.

Love, Dora

Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:12 pm

Dear Dora, Please look in another direction. I am not worthy of your attention. As an additional punishment for my previous behavior, I have volunteered at the soup kitchen downtown to serve needy people a hot, nutritious meal. I will do this during the entire course of my fast.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:19 pm

Finnaly after months of preparation, I am ready, I have selected some food to keep up our energy

strawberries are never as nice as when you have grown them yourself, so I planted enough strawberries to make sure we have plenty to eat, I have just picked these to show how great they look

To my special one with curves so fine
by tomorrow I hope you'll be mine
I am now prepared with what I offer
and all my promises I will honour

I have practiced some wooing of romance
even practiced a close slow dance
and now I am ready to begin to woo
The girl I want could be you

The girl I will choose has fine blonde hair
and her complexion fresh and fair
"R"s of a goddess and breasts of a teen
By tomorrow she may be my queen

I will allow her some time to have think
and while she does I'll have a drink
I will drink to my princess of Vday
and hope on my return yes she will say

I will be back shortly to name the lass
and hope she wont think my wooing crass
For now I cross my fingers and my toes
hoping at the airport my fine date shows

To all the lovely girls who have been here
I know you are all especially dear
But there has been one who has stood out
and my choice will be without a doubt

Right about now I need some rest
I will retire to my empty nest
And when the sun rises on Australia
I will be back, I wont fail ya

I will choose the girl I hope to be mine
For my 2009 eater valentine
I wish you all goodnight or goodmorning
I will see you tomorrow when I finish yawning

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:04 pm

A Kinder Gentler Harry? Does this mean you are now safe for fabrics?

P.S. Hi Reaper baby!

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:53 pm

Murry's woo'ing is so nice
I hope Kate will look at him twice

Prof is certainly being an ass
While Harry is showing he has some class

There is so much else afloat
But one thing is causing this emot

Right now my biggest concern is thus
jojo's avatar is really way too much

I really hope he will change it and continue his woo
Or else I will be so blue

Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:03 pm

You'll have to find me one that suits a man of my tastes.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Hi my love and thank you for the big hug. You give the best hugs ever.
So I will send you my cyber kisses and cant wait for the back rub.
You are so wonderful.
My heart brightened when I saw you had come to say Hi to me.
I know you are really busy so that means a lot to me.
I got so happy I had to write this to you, hope you like it its a special woo.

Even tho my Doc is away
All I can do is hope and pray
That he will be back soon one day
Before this Valentine thread goes away

I guess all good things do come to those who wait
And all I can do is anticipate
For when that day comes please dont be late
My loving Doc it is you who I await

Although there are many who have shown they're witty
I can not be persuaded to join in their giddy
I wish them all the best of luck
But it is you who I love my sweet special Doc

For you make my heart go tickity tock
So I will sit and watch the clock
And count the minutes till I can stop
When you return my sweet romantic Doc

My lonely heart will never stray
Even if it wants to play
You are the only one who makes my day
My love for you will never go away

Some of the others say what we have is not real
I feel it is the only real deal
For no one else can make me feel
The way you do when your at the wheel

Go my love and have your fun
When you return I will still be the one
Who thinks of you as her rising sun
I will wait for us to have much more fun

So put your mind at ease my dear
I will be waiting for you right here
You will have nothing to ever fear
For I will be loyal to you this year
My wonderful Eater Valentine

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