The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:00 am

Attention ladies, please ignore the following locker room talk, it is simply about matters that will not interest you

Now that the women are not looking, SSA, Please do understand that I am not judging, just trying to help develope your romantic side for your wooee to find the true you however, a fine lady such as Just Jane, I would think deserves more than a generic woo that you have gotten

Quote:

I tried to get a Valentine's day poem

If you would like to impress your prospective valentine you should be writing your own woos.

Let it come from from the heart

Here, try this woo

My Jane no other is so great
I will learn to woo it wont be too late
You see there is only you
That this valentines I intend to woo

let me know and I can help you to write your own woos such as I will be doing

Ladies, you can come back now nothing to see above, move along Wink

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:12 am

My dearest Ghort,
I can trust you can't I?
If you are truly ready to love again, meet me at the Empire State building - observation deck on February 13.
If you are not there, then I will know that you have changed your mind and your heart still belongs to Ima.

P.S Thank you for the beautiful song.

I hope she isn't sitting there waiting for him, just like a spider. He's mine now.

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:12 am

Taking a look to see if it is safe back in here...

Did some think this was the PWT today? Silly me thought this was the place to come and be woo'd for the holiday. Wink

Bluth dear! I am so glad to see you here! I was afraid you might be unsure about coming back in once you saw the hell that was being raised in here today. I am happy you didn't join in the fray. Here is a heart for every day you have been woo'ing me: ♥♥♥♥

To get your lad to sing a song of Dora; how sweet! I know that isn't an easy thing to do. I am thrilled to know how much you care. (My niece loves it, BTW) I recieved this in the mail today; I hope you approve. (I was told by another Star Wars afficionato this was the correct one.) Princess Leia

BTW Bluth, what did you do to Dan? He seems to have lost his way. You aren't blocking his entrance are you?

And jojo: So many negative things have been said about you today; there is no way they could all be true! And your actions this afternoon show the true gentleman in you others choose not to see. And to welcome all the new ladies as you did! Thank you so much! Your rose is beautiful. Pretty Rose

I accept it along with your apologies. Let's not discuss it ever again. Thanks for the lovely afternoon. Wink

To jose, the crazy squirrel, PF, and others: Why must you continue to malign jojo? He has shown he can be a man of his word. His actions today affirm this. With friends like you... Laughing

To Harry: I don't see where I ever tossed jojo aside. (And you must be speaking of me since I am the only one he is woo'ing.) I told both of my wonderful suitors that I needed time to decide and if they would kindly wait until the eve of the holiday. Neither expressed displeasure. However, if they feel the need to bow out, I will understand.

I am going to enjoy my song and my rose. Please carry on! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:17 am

Hmmmm, how about this?

Quote:

My Jane
I pine for you like streaded mugu pines for cash
and I would walk all the way to Abeche
and back
if it meant just one more hour with you.

Life is more frustrating than M7CN $ecur3
because I cannot spend every waking moment
staring into your eyes
browner than Leiki Lagoon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@Murry:

Scarlett wrote:

I hope she isn't sitting there waiting for him, just like a spider. He's mine now.

He's all yours Scarlett; no worries. Wink

He and I are just going to be friends, with no health insurance.

While I'm here: Hi my dear Sners. :sigh: XOXOX

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:26 am

Quote:

From: “Jose Cuervo” [email protected]
To: <undisclosed recipients>
BCC: Ima Baeder, Nanny Ogg, Cathartic Kate, Dramaqueen, DoraTheExplorer, Corona, ChainYanker, Just Jane, Chibuike, Trixi, Scarlett, thefife, Mrs. So and So

Subject: URGENT FOR MY ONE TRUE!!!!!! Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2009 03:34:47 -0800

Dearest beloved,

I am jose_cuervo It may comes to you as a surprise receiving this unsolicit male. Forgive me my indignation if this massage come to you as a suprice. AS IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW, I GOT YOUR IMPRASSIVE INFORMATIONS THRU THE INTERNET SEARCH HERE IN THIS FORUMS,OK. My late father mr_jose_cuervo_sr citizen OF SUDAN who was kill by rebels for sposoring rivalry rebels leaders JMRazor, jojobean, Harry Bawls and so forthwith.

My late father before his assassination that leads to his death was very rich valentine day greatings card merchand.

I am now the only legitimate surviving heir left to inherit this Will covering my late father’s wealth of two Trunk Boxes containts amounts of 10,500,000.00 USV (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES VALENTINE)

The only hindrances to my full claims of my late father’s valentine greatings card fortunes as indicate on the WILL which stipulate I can only claim these wealth through the physical presentation of Power of Attorney/Affidavit of Change of titles of Trustee which of cause is referr to as my VALENTINE DAY PARTNER, approved by my lawyer and witnessed VALENTINE CLAIMS SECURITY COMPANY, this is the Security Company in Accra Ghana where my late father deposited these wealth for security safety keeping purpose.

My question to you now is can I present you to this Security Companys as my VALENTINE DAY PARTNER? Can I trust you?

If so kindly reply me urgent with your complete deteils in order for me to present you before my lawyer and the Security Company.

Be assure this transaction is 100% risks free. On conclusions of this Project, you will have 70% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle these busness with me and 10% will be set aside for any complains that arises on forums the process before the valentine get to you, with the remain 20% to be my part.
Please been advice to keep "TOP SECRET" as we urge you to accept the little token with faith, and please bear in mind that there is no valentine anywhere to be transferred to you by those entire fraudulent valentine scam artist. You are therefore adviced to desist from any form of communication with any person or group of persons in this forums in regards to your valentine day!
I look forward to your ungent reply.

Please, REPLY ONLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS [email protected] CALL ME +xxxxxx

I WAIT TO READ FROM U SOONEST

jose_cuervo

edit out number

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:29 am

^^^That one is just awesome.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

Hi my dear Sners. :sigh: XOXOX

Oh, be still my heart. Very Happy

I was afraid that you had forgotten all about me several pages ago.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@Snerd: Of course not, honey. I thought about you all day. Very Happy

@Jose: Clever is very attractive. Thumbs up

I'm curious how you're planning on getting all of the women. We don't usually respond well to mass mailings. Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

@Cathartic Kate wrote:

Quote:

need some girly advice about big signature lines, is it true what they signify?

Yes dear Kate it does. A big siggy means a man is endowed with much enthusiasm, determination, eagerness, and goes after what he wants and makes it his, never tiring easily....
Some can not handle a man with a big siggy.
Doc you roc baby......

@Murry Guru wrote:

Quote:

I was also a virgin once and I know no other way than to be gentle, as I said earlier, love should not be rushed

After the beautiful poem you composed dear pirate, I had true hope for you finding a lovely valentine. BUT since then I have seen this above statement.
This deeply concerns me because most women love fiery passion.......If you know no other way to be, this can be a problem......
She may even fall asleep!
We think you need to write another poem to make sure that you get the point across that you can be flexible in this department and do have fiery passion.
This small discrepancy may cost you your valentine. She may need fiery passion to be truly happy and fulfilled in life? Remember money cant buy you everything.
You must put some serious effort into it.

@My Loving Doc, yes darling you have made me truly happy! Yet again, another big bang..You always know just what I need. I am so sorry I was ever doubting your love for me.
It wont happen again. I hope you can forgive me.It was the seductive whispers of others causing me to become confused and doubtful.
You have shown that time and time again you will come back to me and love me like only you can love me....
I know you must go out and travel but you will be thinking of me and I you.
Your deep words of love have chased my fears and doubts away and brought me back into the light of your generous and kind love.
Our bond is stronger than ever now. I will not listen to the seductive whispers anymore.......I will be looking forward to your return and the hot fiery passion we share.
Our flame will not burn out before Valentines but only get brighter and brighter.
Your devoted Dramaqueen

@Dora, you were so right! He did come back to me. You are so smart. No wonder you have men wrapped all over you, I mean around your little pinkie. They know what a catch you are. Wink

@Scarlett, another safari? Wink

ETA: Wow Jose that was awesome!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:10 am

Ima Baeder wrote:

He and I are just going to be friends, with no health insurance.

Sorry, I didn't answer your PM. No, I don't think our friendship should at least have a dental plan. What is it with you and insurance Confused

Scarlett, my dear, thank you for spending so much time with me lately. Last night, thank you for the hug.... and the laughs. Can I see you again tonight?

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:28 am

Oh! My prince awakes! What a heartfelt tribute, SSA. And thank you Murry for kicking him in the pants. I think he's a little shy.

@Jose: Don't tempt me. That was a very strong 'woo'.

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:30 am

Ima Baeder wrote:

@Jose: Clever is very attractive. Thumbs up

I'm curious how you're planning on getting all of the women. We don't usually respond well to mass mailings. Laughing

Those were BCC'd Ima, nobody saw anything. Wink

and that is my 100% risky free addy & phone number... mugu keep off ooooooooooo

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:42 am

@SSA, Much better, I will not tell a soul

Dramaqueen, dont let the good doctor or anybody else convince you that hard and fast cant be gentle and loving Wink

BTW, I can do limmericks as well

Gentle and loving is the only way
to give your girl that special day
rommance and passion
is always in fashion
And much better than just rolling in hay

jumping her bones while yelling a roar
will only make her feel like a whore
If is it whore that she likes
then I will yell yikes
and hammer until she pleads no more

I rest my case Cool

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:45 am

@Bluth - Are you sure about my kid sister? This younger generation confuses me. Today she asked me who Luke Vader was and if he was a stormtrooper?

Okay Bluth my man but don't say I didn't warn ya Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:14 am

Ohhh, this is so much nicer tonight. How quiet and relaxing. (Unfortunately, both of my romeos are not here! Laughing

)

To the ladies-in-woo-waiting:

Dramaqueen: The one thing we always need to remember, is men need our patience. Frustrating at times, but true. Look at SSA. A little patience and a charmer awoke! (Congrats, Just Jane!) Doc really seems to be trying hard to please you. At least he isn't like some, kak'ing up the thread. Wink

Scarlett: Ghost's calendar is marked. My big brother has been speaking of nothing but you. Ima (lovely as she is) is just a faint memory to him now. Everyone knows Ima and Tsnerd are meant for each other.

Ima: Would you be willing to share your oatmeal cookie recipe? Seems like it is a hit with your man. I might need it soon. Wink

and Just Jane: Now is the time to buy your man the TV. Always reward good behavior! Laughing

Sheesh Ghort! Everyone knows the stormtroopers were Hans and Chewie. Right?

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

@Murry, Please dear, you mustn't call your woman a whore if she likes a little bit of a rough and tumble. She is enthusiastically passionate Rolling Eyes

.
It's a good thing. That means you turned her on so much she went wild for you. That doesnt make her a whore. That was wonderful except for the whore part. You are proving in all ways to make an excellent valentine.
Why do you think my Doc is not caring? Do you know something I dont know? Confused

I am fairly new here but I thought he was a good pick for my valentine.
Does he have lots of women stashed around somewhere I dont know about? I have noticed his good wit and charm and he has proven to be romantic. Plus he said he would safari a lad for me. I think that is so sweet. Please if you know something speak up....

@Dora you were so right and you have two great suitors. It will be hard to choose. I would also like to thank jojo for starting the thread and welcoming us so sweetly. THANK YOU jojo ....

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:48 am

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

Sheesh Ghort! Everyone knows the stormtroopers were Hans and Chewie. Right?

You see what I mean Bluth?

His name is Han Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:54 am

Ghost wrote:

Are you sure about my kid sister?

I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life.

@Dora: Te quiero, mi amor

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:57 am

I didn't say the Doctor doesn't care nor did I say he does not have feelings for you.

I am however concerned that his love may not be long lasting.

Did the good doctor say why he is away, is he working and you do know what kind of doctor he is Question

You know I only ask this because I care about you and would hate to see a certain teethy rodent like creature that is not a squirell come by and leave you standing all dressed up with noone to recieve woos from Wink

@Kate, as Jojo seemed to overlook you when welcoming the ladies to this thread, I would like to extend the warmest of welcomes to you

Perhaps he figured that a lady as fine as you would be taken and not seek to be wooed by others her, or perhaps he was hopigng to keep your presence a secret here to woo you all to himself.

Whatever the reason, I am sure it is an oversight that he deeply regrets.

I need to go and take some more photos of the outdoor hottub now, the builders should have finished adding it to the side of the pool

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:02 am

Mrs. So and So wrote:

If this thread is to be believed (and why shouldn't it be) it seems my sometimes husband is either drunk, pining away for his ex-Valentine, or doing unspeakable things with possums and ex-hookers.

Here I thought you were naive to his behaviors. It looks like the hurt goes deeper than I thought. I have strong loving supportive arms that will help ease the pain from the pain! Rolling Eyes

the soon to be ex-Mrs. So and So (at least for a day) wrote:

Maybe it is time for someone new.

Oooh, I am feeling hopeful here.

Quote:

Someone who I won't find passed out at Christmas using a Santa Hat as a Jimmy Hat.

I promise and I will do all I can to erase that image from your and my mind!

my heart warmer wrote:

Someone bunny rabbit like. A bit twisted. Even, perhaps, a bit Paranoid?

Ooooo, I am melting, I didn't know that it was possible to become cute and twisted at the same time.

Please do not twist my heart though, it is tender and fragile, but it is the heart of a polar bear.

edited coz I wanted this post to be perfect

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:47 am

BluthBanana wrote:

I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life.

Alright Bluth, el caballero. You may call on my sister Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:09 am

Ghost wrote:

You may call on my sister

Thank you so much. It means a lot to have your blessing as I proceed. And best of luck on your own woo'ing. Scarlett would be wise to choose a fine man such as you, Ghost.

My sweetest Dora, every night I dream that you are mine. Every morning I awake more determined to bring my dreams to reality. Pretty Rose

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:10 am

Cathartic Kate wrote:

Scared is significant yet scores precisely null interest points.

It wasn't a compliment, Ms. Laughing

But I like points, I'm sure I'll get some for honesty, eh?

@Trixi, is it working if I'm weak at my knees? Wink

Good luck, Paranoid. Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:16 am

I've missed the entire thread Sad

Could someone please summarize?

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