The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:23 pm

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

Becky: I couldn't seem to get the crazy squirrel's attention; maybe you can have better luck? I don't think he is rabid.

Not rabid, but he has a BLISTERING case of herpes.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:26 pm

After 11 pages of pathetic attempts to impress the gorgeous Eater ladies I decided this one needs the Dutch Touch. They don't call me the Dr. Woo of the low lands for nothing. Ok, here we go:

WOO

*sits back watching his PM inbox getting flooded with steamy acceptances*

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:29 pm

^^ Yeah, clogs and windmills are always a turn on.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

^^^ But you should see his set of bulbs.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:32 pm

6 .. and counting ...

ETA: PM's that is ..

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:34 pm

^^^ the PM's from guys don't count.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:38 pm

^^ Neither do the ones from Tulip wholesalers.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:56 pm

I have to say that there is a lot of smooth wooing going on here.

Sadly, I saw the pain in the post by Mrs. So and So's response. The shamless wooing that I saw proffesor so and so do has made me sad. I want to offer a valentine invitation to her.

I want her to know that I am not a consolation prize, I am a prize that will keep the sur is surPRIZE.

Mrs. So and So, since the prof started it, don't be shy in your need to have a real man take your hand and make you feel like the woman you are.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:58 pm

@PF Well I must say you certainly did not disappoint! I adore the gold love! Very Happy

Sorry for the delay in my reply, I was checking my new golden attire out in the 360 mirror. And poetry too! When you woo a girl you really go all out! Smooches MMMMMUAAAAA <3

@JMR Brilliant job on the Merc, I do like all the sparkly! I had to put on my Cool

to get a good look at it. Laughing

When you pimp a ride you really pimp it! Smooches MMMMUAAAA <3

@Ex I am not now, nor have I ever been a dude.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:04 pm

thefife wrote:

@Ex I am not now, nor have I ever been a dude.

That's JMR's and PF's dreams shattered then.

Elite Baiter Joined: 15 Sep 2008 Posts: 1006

I don't know Slightly...I hear that you are too busy cleaning Jojo's pool and picking up his drycleaning and other tasks that I'm too lady-like to mention.

And since I understand that real women are in the decided minority, I don't think I should have to do the wooing.

But y'all only have until Friday because dh and I are going to New York and I won't have time to play then.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:10 pm

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

^^ Neither do the ones from Tulip wholesalers.

Bulb wholesalers are welcome too, please do include a full frontal pic of the goodies though ..

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

thefife wrote:

When you woo a girl you really go all out! Smooches MMMMMUAAAAA <3

Suck it JoJo. Wink

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:14 pm

Here you go Dutch:

Now go find something productive to do.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:16 pm

Slightlyoutofthecloset wrote:

thefife wrote:

@Ex I am not now, nor have I ever been a dude.

That's JMR's and PF's dreams shattered then.

Listen up you furry little rascal I will have none of that talk about my valentine sweethearts you got it?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:21 pm

beckythatcher wrote:

I don't know Slightly...I hear that you are too busy cleaning Jojo's pool and picking up his drycleaning and other tasks that I'm too lady-like to mention.

Don't be fooled by Jojo and his crappy "Slightly's oga" tag. He got that put there to make him feel like he's actually worth something when in fact, he's my bitch.
As for pools and dry-cleaning? Jojo doesn't ever bathe so there is no pool. The closest he's ever come to water is when I spit in his eye. And his whole wardrobe consists of just one rubber gimp-suit which doesn't need dry-cleaning - it's merely a quick wipe over with a cloth.
Really. Don't be fooled by his filthy lies. Untruths are all he has - the rest of him is just worthless crap. I only keep him around because I pity him.

So you want wooing? Sorry. I already told you I don't woo. It's not something I ever want to get into. Women will start fighting over me (even more than usual). Yeah, it's a curse having these good looks and I walk with a limp due to the fact that there's a hot chick always hanging onto my ankle but I can only handle so many feminine demands at once and hopefully you'll understand why I don't do the chasing.

Maybe I can fix you up with Prof?
Have you got a fancy dress shop near you that can sort you out with a Golden Retriever suit?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:25 pm

EDITED FOR CONTENT- Jojo

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:32 pm

^^ And you wonder why none of the Eater ladies want to be your valentine. Rolling Eyes

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

when in fact, he's my bitch.

I knew it! Slightly is [Removed].

Edit: Upon reflection, that may have been in poor taste, even by JoJo and Slightly standards, please forgive me.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:37 pm

I have searched the lands from high to low
To find that perfect place to go
I found beaches pure and sands so white
All for the girl to be Mrs right

I now seek the one to offer and share
all I have found in the perfumed air
The girl will be special and she'll be nice
and share these things without a price

You will see that I offer more than just things
The girl I find will want more than just rings
I will do all I can to give the lot
for one romantic day that will be hot

Take your time and you will see
That what I offer is all of me
In 3 days time I will begin to woo
and you will see I write poetry too

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:44 pm

thefife wrote:

^^ And you wonder why none of the Eater ladies want to be your valentine. Rolling Eyes

I don't wonder anything. I promise I will have a Valentine.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:52 pm

^^Do you have someone to help you inflate her?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:53 pm

My Darling Dramaqueen
I must set you right,
I have to move and travel now
So you will have to wait, until tonight

I will be back
Your allure is so strong
but the road causes distance, and time away from my 'puter,
My darling, you have it ALL wrong

I wish I had more time to attend,
to your each and every desire,
sadly I have to go right now,
So some waiting this will require,

When I get back I promis you this,
To please you in any way that you wish,
To *censored* and *censored* until,
I *censored* and *censored* some more,
And serve you your favorite dish

Others may tell you they have it all
and perhaps, maybe they do,
But all I have in the world today,
is deep loving thoughts of you.

I put out my love, yard after yard,
tied in a loop, twice round my waist,
And, yes, it is true, love it is hard,
I yearn to touch your face

The road it beckons,
so sadly I go, but see you soon, I surely do plan,
If I can get a wifi singal some where,
(Maybe in Belmopan)

Until I return,
I remain,
as ever,
Your Eater Valentine,
Far away,
but close in spirit,
to the one I cherish,
and adore,
Oh blessed Dramaqueen,

Your loving,

Doc

(did that make you happy?)

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

thefife wrote:

^^Do you have someone to help you inflate her?

Let me assist.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:59 pm

Thank you PF. I appreciate your kindness. You are a gentleman and a scholar my friend!

EDIT: I have to submit my apologies to one Dora T. Explorer. I have used this thread to knock PF and I should not have done so. This thread is for wooing and not my personal whorage. Many apologies my dear. I had a long day doing whatever it is that you would like me to have been doing and I just got carried away.

I got you this perfect rose to say I am sorry.

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