M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:41 pm

another lad having troubles with the application (or so he claims). he didn't even really try very hard on the info he did send. Mad

Quote:

(NOTE)

"(the document has no empty signature field to sign.you can only sign documents that has a previously authored empty signature fields in them )"

M00seknuckle Modeling
Enterprises LLC
1-10
"We show everything
at its best!"
Application for Model
Agent / Representative
Section 1 — Background
Title Mr / Mrs / Miss / Ms / Dr / Sir / Lord / Prince / Chairman / Other:
Full name ??? Mr.GHANlM AL M0HAMMED
Residential address???? PlSSY 0UAGA
Daytime telephone number???? 00xxx.70.xx.46.xx
Evening telephone number????? 00xxx.70.xx.46.xx
Email address???? [email protected]
Postal code:?????? 00226
Current Occupation (if applicable) FOOTBALLER AND BANKER
Mother's name ???? TALlZE
Father's name (if known) ????? POLA0GO
Marital status?????
Date of birth 1970 / 01 / 18 Sex Male / Female / Other:
5 oldest children (where known) Confused

???? TWO KIDS
Name Age Sex Height Weight Alive?
Y / N
Y / N
Y / N
Y / N
Y / N
MMAgF5-01 rev. A04/08
M00seknuckle Modeling
Enterprises LLC
2-10
"We show everything
at its best!"
Section 1 — Background (cont'd)
Educational experience (please tick all that apply):
List 5 previous jobs:???? BUSINESS ADIMISTRATION
Job title
What would be your perfect job?????? BANKER
MMAgF5-01 rev. A04/08
Kindergarten / Nursery University - postgraduate
Junior school Correspondence school
Senior school Internet diploma service
University - undergraduate School of Hard Knocks
Start date End date Reason for dismissal
Why?
What is the most you have earned in one day?
Please describe a time when you have been in charge of a group of people. Describe
your feelings at that time: stress? worry? compassion? hunger? happiness? other?
Describe when you have attended a fashion show, as spectator, model, or agent.
M00seknuckle Modeling
Enterprises LLC
3-10
"We show everything
at its best!"
Section 1 — Background (cont'd)
MMAgF5-01 rev. A04/08
List your five most favorite subjects at school.
1. ENGLISH
2. MATHEMATICS
3. EMCONOMICS
4. GOVERNMENT
5. CHEMISTRY
Section 2 — Psychological growth
On the scale below, mark the box that best reflects your memory of the following events:
Childhood (0–12)
Teenage years (13–19)
First day at school
First kiss
Puberty
First day at work
Seeing a grandparent crying
Losing a baby tooth
First memory of a birthday
Being arrested (if applicable)
Bathing with siblings (if applicable)
First goat
Hated it Loved it
Neither love
nor hate
List three ambitions that you would like to achieve before you die.
1. COME CLOSER TO GOD
2. BUILD A GOOD FAMILY

THIS IS THE INFORMATION AND BEAR WITH ME, I TRIED TO FIL THE FORM FROM THE WEB SITE BUT IT ALL FAILED. THEN YOU CAN HELP ME FIL THE REST OF THE SPACE AND ANY OTHER THING WHICH YOU WANT TO COMFILM DIRECT THEN YOU HAVE MY NUMBER AND MY EMAIL…

I AM BEEN WORKING HARD TO SEE THAT I BECOME ONE OF THE AGENT HERE IN BURKlNA-FASO WEST AFRICA AND L HOPE TO WORK WITH YOUR DIRECTION AND GUIDE LINE.

I HOPE TO MAKE THE NAME OF M00seknuckle Modeling
Enterprises LLC .

RICH AND LIMITED EVEN UP TO THE LOCAL AREA OF THE NATION IF THIS SERVICE CAN SIMPLIED LEAD TO THE DIRECTION AND GUIDE.

From Gh@nim AL MM3D

Pat replies

Quote:

Gh@nim

I thank you for the information contained in your email. I will have to talk with out website people, it seems you are one of meny who claim they can not download the application.

what i can do is provide you our old application, you must complete it and return it to me so that we can present it to the board of directors for review andprocessing.

pat

John remains in contact with pat

Quote:

Pat
Thanks for your mail this morning and more greese to your elbow lets learn to keep each other posted at all time, it is important, mostly now that we are one big family.
Thanks for all your compliments
John

Quote:

John

How are you? I hope you are well. I just wanted to write to you and tell you again how excited everyone is about your commitment to the company. We have not heard Jack speak so highly of any other person in our company for quite some time.

I truly look forward to seeing what you and jack have planned for us. the excitement is almost unbearable.

Sincerely

Pat

Mr Silas, for some reason, told jack he would contact pat, I received this on monday

Quote:

To Whom it may Concern,

Mrs. P@t Cr0kin,please i was told to Contact you by Jack Sm3hoflk in regards to the processment of becoming a new field agent.

I will be waiting to hear from you for more details in regards to this Business.

You are very to Call me on +xxx 961 xx 22 if you need any informations in regards to my Mail.

Keep me posted.

Thank you for your Cooperation.

Regards.

Mr Sil@s Ak@kpo

I reply with my typical response.

Quote:

Mr Sil@s

Thank you for your email, i hope you are well. jack told me you might be contacting me and I am happy you did.

the first question i ask is have you visited our website? It will provide you needed information about our comapny and will answer some of the questions you might have.

if you are truly interested in working with us, the first step is to complete the agent application.

web addy deleted

please return it to me as soon as you can so that there are no delays.

Sincerely
pat

Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:49 pm

Yeah, more grease to your elbow, Pat!

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:41 am

´s completed application arrived. I´ll upload it tomorrow. But don´t expect a second John K !

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:21 pm

^^^ and now even more b*tching about getting paid...

emily does a great job in her position as accountant, got our peter to travel a second time. I'm sure she'll do fabulously when it's time... Wink

he did sign the employee contract, correct? we have the quarterly payment agreement...

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:03 pm

lads that question us in the beginning, are they really worth the effort?

Quote:

Dear,

I have recieved your message once again,and i want to know if this is not a Scam.

Can you please proof that by calling me on my Direct Number.

Waiting.

Mr Sil@s Ak@kp0.
+xxx xxx 75 xx.

well, I'm not going to force him to play. if he's not interested it's his loss.

Quote:

Mr Sil@s

How are you? I have tried to contact you but for some reason the call would not go through.

I do not know why you would think this is a scam. We have not asked you for money.

I am sorry, if you are not interested, please forgive me.

Pat

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:15 pm

Randy is going to try his luck with him if you want, MGK.

I also have a K7 number left where I could upload the whole answerphone message to if you want to give it out to all pre-form-lads. Smile

Shall I?

Ubah the Lad wrote:

This is all you need/Pls View the attached file

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:25 pm

I didn't want to offer up your credits, he is an early lad and didn't want to waste resources. he's all yours if you wish.

^^^^ nice read, it does appear, mr Ub@h has been arrested? what the hell is up with that flyer?

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:44 pm

Hmmm...he has only 1 arm. And he spit in the soup. And obviously he has produced a hip hop CD. - I wonder if he is an "university undergraduate" (that´s what he states) or rather a 12 year old. Whatever, I don´t know, I like him Smile

And he never sleeps more than 2 hours!
Do you understand his conception of a catwalk? Is this a STOP sign?!?
"What have you earned most in a day?" - "My good health." Very Happy

The K7 number I don´t use, you could show it on the website, since the others do not have the MM answerphone message.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:59 pm

Solomon called again.

Preparing Jack that the DVD ought to arrive tomorrow. After 1 minute 30 seconds, the line broke down. No recording. Bummer, he asked me about the time again, I said 9 AM, grrr, 11 would have been correct (in Chicago, that is. Also in Oklahoma).
I asked him repeatedly how the team was doing but he asked me something about something it says about "Nigeria" on the website - what does he mean by that?

Then the connection went off on his side like if he was going somewhere researching or so, I heard nothing but the call was still running. After 3 minutes, I hung up then since he did not reply any more.
Confused

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:40 pm

The only thing I can remember mention of Nigeria on the website is an agent position opening posted on the 'current positions available' page.

if he intends on covering all of nigeria, he will be traveling quite a bit.

do I have the k-7 #? i can post it on the site.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:40 pm

PM sent. The number for Randy then? I´ll upload Internationalchrysis´ message almost immediately.
Is a K7 number in any way recognizeable as K7 (like a YAC is because they all start the same)?

EDIT ok, done....the quality is not overwhelming but you understand it´s Macarena and you get every word that Internationalchrysis says Smile

: "Nokia and David Beckham can´t be wrong...your position in the line...is seven" Very Happy

EDIT Yes. All K7´s are Seattle ones, so Randy has a Seattle number then...whilst Jack has a Chicago one. Oh well... Confused

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:34 pm

Team SED update. This might explain a bit about Solomon's call and the mention of "Nigeria" and "website".

Anyway...

Jack sends this in reply to O1ufemi Mark Julius's email (on the previous page, the one that ends "YES WE CAN"). OMJ is, apparently, head of some company called Fejud4m Services that Team SED has entered into some kind of partnership or something with.

Jack wrote:

Dear O1ufemi Mark Julius,

It is good to receive an email from you, sir! Up until now I have only been receiving direct contact from Solomon and none of the other members of his Team SED.

I assume that you are in charge of Fejud4m Services; is this correct? If so, can you tell me a little more about your company? Solomon has told me a lot about Team SED but has not described your company in much detail, only saying that the two of you have joined together to work with us over here. I'm curious, that's all, and knowing more details about the things you people do will mean that we have a closer working relationship.

I am looking forward to your reply, and to working with you in the future on many projects.

best wishes,

Jack

Mark Julius replies to tell me all about his company in his own way...

Lad wrote:

Dear Jack,
Here is my expression of thanks for your prompt reply to my earlyer mail to you of the Modeling subject matter.
Before now as i must have rightly noted,Mr SOLOMON.E.D.EB0AGU,is a trusted friend of mine and as such,when he propose to me about two years ago for a Merger, in terms of finacial support in Entertainment industry,we in Fejud4m Services Ltd,waited for the right kind of involvement and to be very candid with you,when we saw your offer he did forward to us in FEJUD4M we could not but encourage him any better by colaborating with him the full-lent.
About Fejud4m Services limited,we are into Maritime Services Internationaly plus Importation Consultance,with our located in Lagos,Calabar and Port-harcourt.for today with the merger with Team SED Consult who is a subsidiary of Fejud4m,we can boast of our intro into the Entertainmet industry via the able and amiable Leader of the Team in Mr SOLOMON.
Jack,Mr Solomon had always kept all his dealing via correspondence with you and any other members of your team posted to us and every other members as well.
For that obvious reason we of Fejud4m,have taken it opon ourself as the parent company to invite you and any other member of your team over to our Country.
As you may have known we have the largest market to any service southwest of the Sahara.
I again hope i have been able to clear the road for a perfect working relationship between us and you,but in case you still need further clearity over any issue feel free to contant me 24 hours on my direct cell number 234-8039999999 &234-57899999

kind regard

o1ufemi mark julius
PIC

Well, that's cleared that up!

Then, Jack gets contacted by another member of Team SED...

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack,

Let me start by introducing myself. Im Gloria Adedej1 a team Member of SED. Im the resource person 2 and now as the finance officer in Abuja Nigeria.

Im really pleased that we have gotten thus far and from every indication we have a future with you guys. Im equally greatful for all your help and support to myself and my team members. Thank you on behalf of us all for beleiving in us.

Based on the mails between our Mr. Solomon and yourself it is clear that our efforts in the Models, Cover page and recent e-brochure is appreciated by you and i hope its the same for your other team members. There has not been any objections so far and i thank God for that.

As the resource person as well as the finance person, i would like to know from you when we can expect some financial backing as expected in this type of business. This is based on the understanding that each Model brought, a certain amount would be paid. As you know, we are incuring expenses and would know how soon we would be paid.

Im expected to have a response by our next meeting.

Have a good stay and God bless

ADEDEJ1 GLORIA
P.A TO DMD
G???? C?????????? G????????? Nigerian. LTD.
PLOT 999, ?????????? DISTRICT
ABUJA.
080-33-999-999, 09-999-9999

Money? Money? She had to mention the M word and spoil a good bait.

Next, Solomon writes...

Lad wrote:

Dear Jack

I and the team members from defferent office location was updating ourself with MM's site over the net when our attention was broght to the topic Employment Opportunities .
We can not but ask you if our effort till date is not good enough to exspong MM's Sarch for any other AGENTS from NIGERIA?
Plus the job of Chief Photography Advisor i would say should be given to the team leader
of tireless TeamSED.
Jack do please do something about this obsavation and job request of our .
You will get the DVD moro
You are now getting more mails from the team members,that is the team sprite,we opperate only from certinty and trust only,which you have related to us
So Jack,till i hear from you soon it bye for now.

Thank

I think Solomon, at heart, is a rather insecure chap. This isn't the first time he's shown signs of needing reassurance or feeling like he's not being constantly approved of. But anyway, his message should throw some light on part of the phone message that Frumpy received.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:49 pm

so a "congratulations team S3D" for being appointed as our nigerian agency.. no worries, I'll need pictures of each member, as well as their specific job title.

well hell, like my boss sez, you can have any job title you want, just don't expect to be paid more.

edited, wrong word usage

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:51 pm

Yes.
Feduj4m does some maritime import thingies...what´s that got to do with the entertainment industry?!? It goes over my head atm.
Also, I´ve forgotten Solomon´s invitation to Nigeria!

And he knows exactly for whom the emtpy MM position should be!

So MM have in common with the SED and Feduj4m-SED organization that they are spread allover the country? And I thought they were student actors, at best! I wasn´t aware he is such a sophisticated guy. At least for the moment, I´m shaking my head here...and tomorrow the DVD is due.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:56 pm

FrumpyBB wrote:

and tomorrow the DVD is due.

meeting in the corporate office main theater when it arrives? I'll bring the beer

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:05 pm

I´m expecting a few nagging calls from various team members in the near future...or it´s Macarena that´s expecting them...depending on when we can see the package Smile

This is exciting. I wonder if Gl0ria tells the truth. She would be my fourth female in the 419 related world.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 9:33 pm

My next reply to Solomon will ask him for pictures of all of Team SED (only the third time I've done that, so far) so we can put them up on the website. I'll be running out of (valid) reasons to ask for photographs soon!

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 9:42 pm

Not much from Johnk.

He wanted to make some progress on his trip to 0budu but also he's starting to want some money for it so I write a long email letting him know why he can't have any. Well, okay, no money at the moment, but maybe in a few months' time, yeah, that's when he can have it.

Jack wrote:

Dear John,

I liked your last email a lot! I think I can see that you are starting to develop the M00seknuckle attitude to work and life. That is... only the best quality is good enough, and the best quality only comes along when you take the time to prepare, not by rushing into things half-prepared.
Recall, if you will, that you mentioned 0budu Ranch Resort several months ago. It isn't that I ignored your mention of it, but instead I did some research of my own, quietly and without shouting or bragging about things until I was assured that this was a good idea. And now, yes, I have done as much research as I can from this side of the ocean to think that we should investigate your suggestion very thoroughly. It's all about knowing how to pace oneself and not dashing about with stress and panic always snapping at your heels.

I was slightly saddened to read that Miss Nelly would not be joining you and Mike on your journey to 0budu. But you have found a replacement and that is good news indeed! I must point out, though, that there was no attached photograph of Christopher Aw0rh. Perhaps you forgot to attach it? I do that more times than I want to admit!

As with your 0budu suggestion, I have also not forgotten nor ignored the issue of a permanent MM office in Nigeria. Things are being planned in the background here regarding that, but if I can be so bold and reveal a confidential piece of information... I think that the Planning Officer here is willing to let you do a lot of work on that matter if you perform well on your fact-finding mission to 0budu. Don't let anyone else know this, because it might look like favoritism, okay? But be rest assured that there are a few people, not just me, who are putting a lot of belief and support in your direction, and are looking to your 0budu trip as a test of how well you perform.

Now, if we can address a more serious matter. I have been arguing and debating hotly with the finance manager here about the situation regarding your payments from us (not the medical claim---that's not from us but from the insurance company). The fund that was promised to you was all set to be paid out at the December modeling event in Benin, should you have attended. As you know, you were unable to get there and so the money was re-entered into the accounting system, with everyone thinking that you had decided not to continue with us (we didn't know what had really happened to you, obviously).

What this means is that, because of the very strict financial rules that registered companies must operate under in the US (part of the anti-terrorism initiative, as you might know), we have to go through a lot of fuss and form-filling to re-allocate the same payment for the same person. Basically, it looks suspicious to the auditors of our accounts and so we have to document why the same fund was being moved in and out of our accounting system so quickly.

Ever since you came back and told me about your accident and why you couldn't attend the December event in Benin, I've been pushing forward with the proper documentation to get your fund re-allocated as quickly as possible. The good news is that I have managed to get everything straightened out and looking okay for when the auditors examine our accounts. The slightly less good news is that I will have to physically withdraw that money from that account once our next accounting period starts. That is, after March 31st. If I do it before that date then all the paperwork I submitted so far will be for nothing and I will have to do some serious explaining to some very suspicious auditors. And what I don't need right now, in what promises to be a very busy and successful year for the company, is a full-scale audit taking maybe a month or more out of my limited time this year.
I really hope you understand the situation here, John. Believe me when I tell you that I tried every possible way to get things ready for THIS accounting period (Jan 1st - March 31st). But the consolation is that once we roll into the Q2 of 2009 (starting from April 1st), all the work will be done to pay what we owe you.
I appreciate that this may be disappointing news in the short term, but look to the long term and adopt the MM attitude, John!

In other news, the legal people accepted your amended photographs and have submitted your forms to the insurance company for assessment. Which is good, yes? I'll let you know how that is progressing as soon as I get any news at all.

That was a long email, I know, but we have a lot of issues to discuss. I think that's a good sign, don't you?

best wishes,

Jack

It's an elaborate explanation, but I think he'll take it at this point.

His reply this afternoon...

Lad wrote:

Sir
Compliments of your last mail, it is not going to be too easy couping without cash at hand but i have no option than keep the flag flying in all ramitification.
Go ahead and push my medical bills and the 0budu trip for me, but all bear thjis in mind that i ve got scores to settle.
I remain loyal and do hope to get back to you with a more comprehensive mail.
John

I think "ramitification" is what happens when you take too much of the prescription drug Ramitifine. Or not. I'm not sure. But anyway... he's sounding quite resigned to the not-getting-money-now disappointment and didn't put up much of a fight. I hope that's good.

Jack replies to his favourite <strike>son</strike> employee...

Jack wrote:

Dear John,

How are you today, my friend? I have to say, you didn't sound very joyful in your last email. Are you okay? I hope you are not losing your enthusiasm. Stay in high spirits, John, please! I am relying on you to be the advance guard that brings the name and reputation of M00seknuckle Modeling to West Africa and makes great strides into spreading our fame throughout the area. A downhearted and sullen person can't do that job properly.

I hope you understand that I will always keep you informed about your medical claim as soon as I hear any news at all. I feel almost responsible for your injuries so to ease my conscience as much as I am able to with superficial and transient money, I want this claim to go through as quickly as possible and for you to be restored to financial health. As for easing my conscience in a more spiritual way, that might never be done because I feel as if it were me riding that motorbike that hit you, John, I was probably so instrumental in your being there at that place at that time.

John, beginning from as soon as you receive this email, I want you to start keeping EVERY receipt and proof-of-expense that you get in the course of MM business. I am serious. I do not want you to be out-of-pocket by even one cent when you are asked to count your incomings and outgoings at the Day of Judgement. So in order that we can refund you the full amount of your outgoings as soon as the 31st of March comes round, I want you to document everything. If you like, you can scan and send your receipts to me as soon as you get them and I will keep a total here at the office and you can ask me at anytime how much you will be repaid at the end of the financial quarter. I hope you can do this for me, John, because it will make everything so much easier and quicker once I am free to release your allocated funds.

Randa11 told me that he received Chris's application form and a photograph that I can use for his ID. Tell him thanks, it was very much appreciated.

I don't know what you wanted to write in your more comprehensive email so I will stop here and wait to see what questions and issues you wish to bring up.

stay well,

Jack

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 9:57 pm

That first email to JohnK was a really great email Very Happy

I cannot pick out all the raisins in the cake, it´s just too sweet.
Lots of stuff and words and metaphors to giggle about but since I´ve done that already quietly, with the proper M00seknuckle Attitude (TM)...so maybe this post is only necessary for pushing me towards post number 3500. It´s these little things that make baiting so funny Smile

Ah, and the hot debates with oneself!

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:42 am

This is Charles Soludo and a promise to present his sister to MM. It starts with a scripted opening format sent to Jack but addressed to "Old Man". This is, of course, Randa11 Oldman, so he's probably encountered Frumpy's automated script process at some point.

Lad wrote:

Hello Mr. old man

How are you and your family? Hope fine. If so glory is to GOD

I still maintain my promise that as soon as you paid the transfer charges$ 1.500, one thousand five hundred dollar. Transferring of your fund will be carry on immediately, without any delay,

You are required to send us our transfer charge immediately with this information below to enable us transfer your fund $1.5million to you today, as soon as we confirm the payment information your money will be wire to you today. If wish to receive it via delivery system send your delivery address

I am waiting for your urgent reply

Regards Charles soludu

Call for confirmation of receipt of this message on +23470999999

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORNATION

RECIVERS NAME ---------------- CHIKWADO A1UPU

Country... Nigeria
City................ Lagos
Text question..........OUR GOD
Answer..............IS GOOD
Senders name.........
Mtcn tracking number................
Amount sent 1.500

Not much to do with that except ignore his opening and instead offer him an invitation to MM.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your email. You should understand, however, that this is a photographic modeling agency and we are not in the business of helping random strangers who have spare money to give away.

If you are interested in becoming a model or a model agent, then please reply telling me so and I will start the application process.

I attach a brochure for your perusal.

thanks,

Jack

I attach a brochure for the good of his eyes.

Lad wrote:

I have already arrange everything in regard to wire you money to you what is holding now is transfer cost $1.500, and including your bank account details where your fund will be transfer into, This is the amount $1,500,000.00 that will be transfer to your nominated bank account with immediate effect after you send the money today

Like as told you in my last mail. there is no way the transfer will be made to you without you pay the transfer fee $1.500,bear with me my brother, because of the insurance coverage’s on your fund. I cannot able to deduct the fee cost from the total sum, had it been insurance did not place on it, I would deduct the transfer chargers from the above money, and wire your money to you

Secondly a lot of people is contacting me regards this payment some said that you sent them to claim the money on your behalf, did you sent anybody. get back to me as soon as you receive this mail including your bank account details where the fund will transfer into ,I assure you that once I receive the money transfer cost your money will be wire to you immediately,

Hurry up and send the money .because as from tomorrow your money will be accumulating $20 par day .so search around and get the $1.500 only

Without delay Thanks,

Here is the western union detail below...

Receiver’s Name: chikwado a1upu

Country: Nigeria .

Text Question: ---------- OUR GOD
Text Answer: --------IS GOOD

After the payment send the mtcn tracking number to me and senders name

REGARDS

CHARLE

No, no, no, Charles! Play the game and take the bait! Don't just send the next bit of your pre-written script. I'm going to give you another chance.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your email. You should understand, however, that this is a photographic modeling agency and we are not in the business of helping random strangers who have spare money to give away.

If you are interested in becoming a model or a model agent, then please reply telling me so and I will start the application process.

I attach a brochure for your perusal.

thanks,

Jack

I attach the PDF brochure again.

Lad wrote:

Good Day, Greetings to you and your Family, Hope you all are fine and Healthy. May the Peace of God Almighty be with you all? Please I want to use this opportunity to introduce myself well to you, I am CHARLES SULUDO governor of central bank of Nigeria, The SON OF the udo

This fund is writing you about are $1.5million U.S. Dollars that Mr. DAN BABA deposited in our bank with name of old man as the Beneficiary. And am ready to transfer the money to him hence the transfer charges is paid $1.500 please if you are willing to assist Mr. old man, kindly send me the transfer cost $1500 your pass port copy and your cell phone number with your residential address. I also want you to give it a mutual feelings and sense of human to assist him to receive the fund

Regarding the business proposition. I am interested to be one of the Agents. Advice me on what to do to be the member

I am waiting for your recponce

Thanks you

Regards Charles

Okay, you've at least read what I wrote this time, you stubborn little bank manager, you.

(I love the line "I am CHARLES SULUDO ... The SON OF the udo". I hope he prints that on his business cards.)

Jack wrote:

Dear Charles,

Thank you for your message. I am very glad that you have decided to apply to be an agent with my company. I detected a special element in your emails so far that suggested you might be a very good candidate for such a job.

I have attached an application form to this message. It is in PDF form, which I know that most computers can open these days. Please complete all of the questions on this form as best as you can (we're looking for quality, not speed) and return it when you are completely satisfied with your answers.

I look forward to receiving your application,

Jack

I attach an application form PDF for his filling-it-out enjoyment.

Lad wrote:

One of my sister are also interested in becoming a model modelAgent pls advice use the next step to do

Oh, Chucky Soludo wants to pimp out one of his sisters, too, huh? Jack's such a sucker for bank managers' sisters. It's the money, see?

Jack wrote:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for telling me about your sister who is also interested in being an employee at M00seknuckle Modeling.

Forgive me, but I did not understand if she wishes to be a model or wishes to be an agent who seeks out and manages models in her area. Which of these is she interested in? We don't allow one person to fill both roles because the duties of each might cause a conflict of interest.
Please let me know exactly which position your sister would be interested in.

Also, did you receive your own application form okay? If there was a problem with it, let me know.

best wishes to you and your sister,

Jack

Lad wrote:

Hello my good brother,

What is going on over there? I did not heard from you again concerning

Kept me inform base on what to do .my sister is worried

I do waiting for you

Regards Charles

Didn't get my last message? Pah! You just can't get the outgoing email servers these days.

I like that he's doing some waiting for me. It saves me having to do it myself, I guess.

Jack wrote:

Dear Charles,

Thanks for your email. Sorry that I didn't get back to you, but it's Saturday today. I like to take the weekend off because I work so hard from Monday through Friday. You wouldn't begrudge me some rest and relaxation, would you? I will be back in the office on Monday and I wil attend to you and your sister then.

have a good one,

Jack

Jack wrote:

Dear Charles and sister,

How are you today? I hope you were not too worried about my taking the weekend off.

On to business...
- Charles: will you be sending the completed application form to me soon? I need that to be registered with our Human Resources department before I can do anything more with your request to be an agent-manager. If you need help with any of the questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
- Charles's sister: May I have your name and age? We have strict guidelines about how old our models can be so this is a standard question that I must ask you to make sure I am operating according to regulations. Second, I will require two recent photographs so that our talent officers here can assess whether you are suitable for the job. Remember, though, that we are not looking only for the typical stick-thin model look that everyone associates with fashion modeling. My team of talent officers are trained to look into a person's personality as it shows through in photographs and this is what matters most. Please submit two photographs, one full body and one head shot. We've had some applicants in the past who have used the same picture for both requests, simply chopping off the body and submitting that as the head shot. We can't accept that and request that two separate photographs be taken for each request.

I look forward to receiving your reply.

Jack

Lad wrote:

Thanks for your quickly response .the one that my sister is to be employee at a model not agent. I am the one interested to be n agent not my sister,

Please let me know exactly which position I will be and exactly what you what me to do

Letter we will attached a photo copy of my sister for the to see her

The attachment did not danlod in my computer pls help me to fill the form and send it for me

Thanks

I am waiting for your response

Charles

Let's just say that at this point I'm not holding out much hope for Charles Soludo being a star employee at MM.

Before I can reply (the next day, of course), he sends another message...

Lad wrote:

My sister will attached her picture letter she is not felling fine

Oh no! Chucky's sister is feeling bad!

Jack wrote:

Dear Charles,

I am very sorry to hear about your sister's ill health. Please tell her to take her time and wait until she is feeling better before stressing herself about photographs. We will still be here when she has recovered.

best wishes,

Jack

And that was sent this evening. I have to say that this has been a slight disaster so far.

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:51 am

FrumpyBB wrote:

The quality is not overwhelming but you understand it´s Macarena and you get every word that Internationalchrysis says Smile

: "Nokia and David Beckham can´t be wrong...your position in the line...is seven" Very Happy

You used it??? Yaaaaaaaaay!!! The advantage of being involved with community radio is I have access to their recording facilities.

The hard part was dumping the voiceover from minidisk to my laptop. Once there it was a matter of cutting and pasting the macarena over the various bits of my big gob (and of course remembering the script, which I'd forgotten to write down) Embarassed

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:04 am

@ IC - It´s been on Jack´s line and it´s on Randy´s line now. Our telecommunications department was on safari, err, fact-finding mission, over Christmas. But with the proper MM Attitude (TM), things work out well in the long run.

@ Otterfan - There has been more than one Charles Soludo, and he perfectly behaves like 95-98% of all scammers that get my opening ASEM. I´m waiting for him to write to me, he might think that it could accelerate the money process addressing as many peopel of the MM staff as possible.

One is here, it can´t be him, he writes All Caps Classic:

Quote:

DEAR RANDALL,
PLS GO OVER MY FIRST MAIL AND READ VERY CAREFULLY I
SINCERELY HOPE THAT BY THE TIME YOU FINISH READING YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND MY
PURPOSE OF THE PROPOSAL.FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME,LET ME SUMMARIZE THE MAIL FOR
YOU.I AM A DEPUTY GOVERNOR OF CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA,LAGOS,THE HIGHEST BANK
IN NIGERIA... (blablabla)

"Our" CS started with a fedex yahoo email addy, as this Dan Baba :

Quote:

01-19-2009 at 22:51:57:
Subject: VERY GOOD

VERY GOOD,
Send your bank account detail where the funds will be transfer to you. your telephone number is needed
THANKS
DAN BABA

He led to our CS - but he´s from Benin. That might explain that he´s Udo´s son, instead of Soludo´s son :

Quote:

CENTRAL BANK OFBENIN REPUBLIC

INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

CORPORATE HEAD QUARTERS
TINUBU SQUARE, BENIN REPUBLIC

From The Desk charles udo
Office of The Governor
Central Bank of BENIN REPUBLIC

Hello costumer,

I wish to inform you that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter. Also note that from my record
in my file your outstanding contract payment is US$1.5.000, 000.00 (United States Dollars).only actually your issued has being discuss with Mr.DAN BABA, I have already arrange everything in regard to these transfer, using my power as the governor of centralbankto converted the money into cash payment and make a wire transfer to your account number. To avoid you lose the money,
Not that as from tomorrow your fund will state entering demurrages 20 dollars per a day ...(blablabla)

You definitely meet interesting people in the modelling industry. Moreover, we haven´t had the classic "demurrage fees" for quite some time. A nostalgic lad. - Whatever, Randy has never come past the script stage with him, seems he´s contacted the boss himself, as you would expect from The Son Of Udo.

EDIT I forgot to thank Mike for the (belated) contract Embarassed

Quote:

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for the employment contract. Consider yourself now a new member of the M00seknuckle Modeling team.

Congratulations!

Are you continuing to work together with John and, probably, Chris? Shall we address you as a team?

Regards, RandaII

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:07 pm

^^^ But only after Johnk expresses his slight concern about there being no reply!

Here's his email from this morning...

Lad wrote:

Sir,
Actually, you read my mind and had exact feelings of all that my mind was racing through, considering my daily expenses on transport and payment of time codes in the cyber cafe in order to do m00se knuckle jobs, so as soon as i got your mail yesterday that all my major bills would be paid by second finacial tenure come april, i became afraid because i have devoted all my time and everything to serve you with all my strenght, No other means of income.

Any way God is always the provider he will actually take care of our weakness, And that will never weigh me down Sir, my commitment to m00se knuckle is no retreat no surrender, i and my team must get there no matter what it may cause us.
Thank you sir for accepting to taking care of my daily expenditures you are too mindful of me. i will exactly keep the records,
Thanks for considering Mr Christopher, and how about Mr MIKE. since he submitted the contract form no one had sent a mail to him either for the receipt confirmation or it did not get to you sir, for i know you don,t delay mails. it was submited to me and i passed it on to Randall,s Mike is becoming worried sir.
There is nothing too comprehensive sir, you,ve given me answers to questions beyond my comprehensions.
I am ever grateful to God for allowing me to be linked with someone as wonderful as you.
my word is my bond i and my team had vowed to take m00seknuckle to all the nook and cranny in west Africa. what we only need is your courage and asistance sir,
Please be fast about the i,d cards i may be going for that Miss Nigerian show, that one of december was postpone to february 2009. do i go with my men,
I get to stop here sir while i hope to read from you over the weekend concerning mikes issue and any other directives you may likely want me to.
Have a wonderful week end.
John

He sounds positive. Disappointed he can't get his money yet, but still positive. On to 0budu we go!

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:15 pm

I´m trying to get an application of Dr Uju himself, too, knowing it´s the same lad as his "friend" Ubah.

Quote:

Dear Partner Randy O,

How are you today and your family, hope fine, i want to notify you that my
friend Ub4h Er1c lI0ba has sent out all the application as you people
requested, if there is any other thing left please keep him updated, and
ensure you send any payment regarding this great project to him.

Have a nice day,

Dr, Uju M.

I´ll try and just treat him as a new applicant.

David becomes a PITA:

Quote:

01-27-2009 at 21:05:08:
Subject: Re_Your_models_pictures_and_your_ID?

Dear Friend,
I quite appreciate your offer but i will not compromise my
policy because i want to contract models that you will see and be proud
of.I really want to work for you but you must trust me for us to workeffectively.Don't be afraid i won't scan you without fulfilling my part.
I want you to send $5000 for me to give them and convince
them that your modeling organization worth to work for,after that i
will send you there pictures one male and one female then if the suit
your test you pay the remain $2000.
Thanks in anticipation,
David Kl.

And today:

Quote:

Dear Randy O,

I have agree to work with your firm to provide you with both male and female models but you are going to promise me that the welfare of this models will be taken care of.I will send you two or three models for start and your response will determine if i will send more that is in my profile.

Please send me your phone number so that we can communicate regarding this, and what my models stand to gain and how you are going to pay our organization.Awaits your urgent response.

Thanks,

Kl David.

Here is my urgent response:

Quote:

How are you David kl ,
Have we received your completed Agents Application Forum?
I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar!
Chao

Randall O.

He can have my phone number, it´s the new K7 one! He surely can´t have Jack´s private one until after form stage Smile

Last, our top man Ubah Er1c lI0bah thinks of nothing else than what he can achieve for MM :

Quote:

Hello Randy,
How is your family today, hope fine, Please i want to hear from you, have you receive all the application form i sent to you.
Please,endavour towork with this useful instruction, do not pay more than $3,000 on each transfer, ensure you separate the money in two or three places.
Here is the receiver name and address:
1, Receiver name: U E I.
2, Address, (blablabla) Lagos.Nigeria.
3, Ensure you indicate the amount you transfer on each transfer.
4, Text quetion, What is your color
5, Text answer Black.
Best regards.
U E I.

He is far from having the proper MM Attitude.

Sent him this:

Quote:

Dear Appliant,

Your application is being processed now. We are only missing your signature under the 2 page M00seknuckle Modelling Employment contract.

If you accept these conditions by your signature, cash payment will be given to you, according to your accepting our working conditions.

The model and design photographs are looking perfectly acceptable, and I will have a word about you with Jack afterwards.

--
Faithfully yours, R. Oldman

Oh - no contract attached? Ayyy...well, there´s time for that after the weekend.

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:33 pm

I am now getting so many opening formats sent to Jack's MM account, I can afford to try different approaches with the less-likely-looking ones.

This one sends his long-winded opener...

Lad wrote:

Dear Mr. Jack Smeh0fik.

We wish to solicit your assistance to provide us with a solution to a money transfer of Thirty nine Million United States Dollars. Our duty is to review all contracts awarded to foreign firms/contractors from the Ministry of Petroleum from 2000 to May 28th 2006. It may interest you to know that most of the contracts awarded were over invoiced / inflated.

One of such contracts has been identified. The said contract was originally executed by an Italian based firm (Straberg Italiano Spa) in 2006 to supply 250,000-monax turbine polypropylene plant and 150,000 bpsd for oil company Refinery in Port Hacourt. Pipeline reconstruction and computer optimization for plants "A" to Benghazi Refinery, as part of the measure taken to aid the turn around maintenance to recoup

[lots of the same old stuff snipped]

executed under a legitimate arrangement which will protect you and i from any breach of the law.

Expecting your prompt response

BEST REGARDS.
ALHAJI SULE Dikk0 ALI.

At first, I use the usual reply.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your email. You should understand, however, that this is a photographic modeling agency and we are not in the business of helping random strangers who have spare money to give away.

If you are interested in becoming a model or a model agent, then please reply telling me so and I will start the application process.

I attach a brochure for your perusal.

thanks,

Jack

I attach the PDF brochure, of course.

Lad wrote:

Dear Mr. Jack Smeh0fik.

My brother, i am very happy to read your message but i will appreciate if you can accept to assist me in this beneficial Deal which will turn our lives around. This deal is risk free and must be executed under legitimate arrangment and your interest and mine will be protected ok. Try to give this a second thought and get back to me with an acceptance letter.

Thank you and have a wonderful day.

Regards,
Mr. Sule Dikk0 Ali

He read my first reply, see? SEE? All you posters with your "They never read your replies" mantra: take THAT, ha!

At this point, I try a different approach.

Jack wrote:

Dear Mr Sule Dikk0 Ali,

Let me absolutely 100% honest and truthful here in the hope that you will be the same in return.
I know that you are trying to run a scam on me. This is FACT. Please don't deny it.
However, I am willing to overlook that part of your behavior and I am offering you the chance to do some work that will, in the long-term, be rewarding, both in terms of enjoyment and in finance, and will also be legal. Scamming is a criminal act but working as an agent-manager for my company is not.

Please consider the situation and get back to me. I don't care if you tried to scam me. I am the sort of person who can look beyond that and see what a fellow man can do when he puts his mind to it.

I await your positive reply with eagerness,

Jack

Don't laugh, it might work.

Lad wrote:

My brother, you are wrong to say that this is a scam, that i am trying to scam you. No not at all, i have not been scammed before and will not do to someone anything that i will not like anyone to do to me. Take that thought off your mind and consider my offer as genuine one.

I will give you all proofs that shows that this is not scam. There are people out there engage and trying to scam people even myself i get their scam proposals in my box.

You have to give this a thought ok, i am desperate to get somebody to assist me get this done and i hope you are the right person who will do this business with me.

Nothing everybody is bad, i know people have a kind of fear over some of Nigerians but not as you think it, there are bad people and thewre also good people even over there in your country too, you will not deny that. So give this a trial and see the difference. I am also interested in your job offer in your modeling company but this is most pressing to me as i need it acomplished before engsaging in any other thing.

Thank you and expect a considerable response from you.

Regards,
Mr. Sule Dikk0

You have to wonder, you really do.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sule Dikk0,

Okay, prove the truth of your words to me. I will, however, apply very strict and exact judgments to whatever you send me. I have seen the examples of passports and so-called identification that other scammers have shown me. They are laughable and would be a shame if a child of 5 years old made them.

I shall be open-minded and await your proofs. If, however, you want to drop the pretence at any time and join my company and do some easy yet rewarding work, then I will put all of our past correspondence out of my mind and support you professionally.

regards,

Jack

Anything he sends me will fail to convince Jack,.I'm just using it as a way for him to play all of his convincers now and get them out of the way so we can move on to the more important things.

Lad wrote:

Dear Mr. Jack Smeh0fik

Sorry for the late reply. Meanwhile, I need the following info from you to get started: Your direct cell no/fax. your identification and residential address.

I am making some arrangment here with some of the officials in the bank to see the possibility of releasing this payment to you through their over-seas payment centres which will be more secured and trouble-free. Get back to me with the above required info so that i can proceed immediately with the arrangment. You have nothing to worry about, all i need of you is to be sincere and honest with me, not that when you get the fund you take the advantage to sit on the money because you are no where to be traced. But i have bestowed the confidence in you with the belief that you will not betray or sit on this fund when received. I will join your company but after this deal because this is very important to be completed first as it is a life time oportunity.

Thank you for your consideration.

Regards,
Sule Dikk0

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what??? I really thought we were going to get into a proper dialogue (even it was, basically, a scam/not-a-scam/scam/not-a-scam exchange). I'm highly disappointed and not a little bit annoyed.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sule Dikk0,

Get rid of your format; it's pathetic. Get rid of your lies; they're are so obvious. There is not money that you wish to transfer, there is no "bank" that you want to contact, no "officials" that you will be talking to... they're all just characters that you play (or you get your friends to play). I know all about scams, more than you think I do. This looks exactly like a scam, smells exactly like a scam, IS exactly like a scam. It is a scam. Don't bullshit me any further.

Now, drop the scam and tell me if you wish to join my modeling company as an agent and begin a much better career with us.

regards

Jack

No reply yet. I'm not really expecting any, though.

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