The great charity scam *dolla chops aplenty*

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Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

Here comes a push from the Bishop.

Βιshοp Lαvαn Hα’αrαmι wrote:

This uncooperativeness is not only unhelpful, it is also unacceptable, undemocratic, unprofessional, and un-Christian.

He ought to perk up at that.

Also, he needs to talk some more about the Third Commandment.

Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:43 pm

I just finished a script that should get some lads on the hook. It will go out to tons of lads who want to steal money from the new polio eradication initiative funded by the .

I am hoping that no scammer is low enough to steal money dedicated to saving the lives of children in their own country. Somehow I have the feeling we'll all be not terribly surprised.

Since the majority of the polio cases, from what I hear, are in the northern area of Nigeria, it would have some great potential safaris since lads would need to travel from Lagos or Benin City north to Kano.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

The Reverend Hayes did his darndest to fill out all of the IRS documentation. The question now becomes, did he do enough? I gotta hand it to him, he handwrote some lengthy responses to the sections asking for specifics on the goals of the church.

He is a wordy SOB. His e-mails to me go on and on and on and on.

I might let the IRS paperwork sit for a bit and then drop a few problems on him later. For now, I want to get the 'memorandum of understanding' that he keeps promising me. He says it will serve as a binding contract between our two churches. I don't think an e-mailed attachment will work. He is going to have to send me a hard copy so I can get it notarized. Any idea on how to get it sent? Any idea where?

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:55 am

Reverend Hayes would put an insomniac to sleep. My eyes glaze over at his long-winded emails. I doubt he can remain on any type of script much longer and I think he's finally having to think about what he's writing.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:35 am

The guy keeps writing me. I send one liners back. He gives me a Wikipedia entry for every sentence I write.

Quote:

Rev. wilmer hayes to me
show details 2:12 PM (6 hours ago)

Reply

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your mail and question.Nice to hear from you.
This is answer to your question,We have acquired lands,
survey it,even have commence construction as you people
have seen in the approval site structure(photographs) sent
to you people ever since.I believe that the level the building
construction both the road network,electrification of the site,
water drilling bore hole and payment to contractors and other
workers has cost the local church here alot.And we have less
funds at hand now which is not anything to proceed the work.

Its not easy but one with God is majority,with God all things are
possible.And the scripture from the Book of Psalm 121 says that
where our help should come from,it confirms that our help should
come from God who made heaven and earth.The same God connect
us with you people for help,encouragement,love financial assistance.

Finally,we are optimistic that you people can assist us with amount
you wish for the work of God atleast we hope to complete the construction
before March as you knows there are major rainfall here as from March.

thanks,may the Lord be with you.
In faith through Christ.
Rev.Hayes.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:13 am

I have had this bait on autopilot, busy with RL. This just in:

Quote:

DECLARATION OF CONFORMITY FROM THE CHURCH ALIVE MINISTRY NIGERIA WEST AFRICA. Inbox X
Amaechi Obi
show details 9:46 PM (25 minutes ago)

Reply

Dated 27th of January 2009.

Dearest brethren in Christ Jesus,
Peace be to you people,hope you people are alright in health.
Please,am nominated to contact you people in Christ by our local church here
in africa for the purpose of agreement and records.

Therefore,I have prepared the legal Bond, a 'Memorandum of Understanding' which
is an official agreement,authentical and powerful recognised by Individuals,
organisations,Institutions,corporate and governmental bodies everywhere in the
world as a qualified legitimate documentations,bonds that stands & represents any
relationship,partnership,transactions,operations such as same with you people
from the Sacred Heart Church in states.

And I am making reference, a declaration with assurance that the copies of the Agreement
Bond (MoU) will be forwarded to you today.Please bear with me because I have to go and
endorse it in our documentaion departments.

In Jesus Name,I will be very glad when you receive this legal Proofs.My Revrend Hayes
is worried,doing everything humanly possible to make sure the documentations is signed,
sealed and sent to you as evidence,clear proof of the truth,legitimacy and advancement
in partnering with your church in States with love,transparency and hardworking and total
assistance to the local church here.

I appreciate your kindness,support and efforts to sponsor the local church here in africa
to be your representative(branch) in extending and spreading the work of God.

thanks to all and remain blessed in Jesus name Amen.
Yours faithfully,
Amaechi Obi (Counsel to the Church).

Sounds like you may need them to sign some contracts and DHL them overnight to someone...

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:14 am

I think we could get a dropbox owner to take them. DHL overnight sounds great but is there anything more expensive? Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

The “Counsel to the Church” Amæchi 0bi just wrote to the Bishop about the Memorandum of Understanding. He’s using BCC, so I don’t know who else has gotten the message.

Do we want hard copy of the MoU?

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:25 am

Absolutely, we need hard copies, at least 3 I'd say or however many we can get the lad to ship overnight. The more he spends, the better.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I got the same e-mail from the counsel. I already implied, to the Reverend Hayes, that a notarized hardcopy will be required. I am sure they will try to e-mail some cheesy document to us; I believe that we will refuse it. I think 7 copies, one for each member of the funding board will be needed.

I also insinuated that we are nearing the completion of our transaction, so requesting an overnight delivery makes sense. If he thinks that he is one document away from payday, it will be easy to push him.

Keep in mind that if the documents are not officially notarized they will have to be resent. I think I will forget to remind him of that.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:30 pm

I'd also like him to send it to 7 separate addresses. I wonder what the cost on that would be?

And by the way, I just got the first nibble on the polio modality. Game on.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:46 pm

I think you should also discretely mention that a series of smal gifts are culturally appropriate, a piece of traditional clothing, a small drum....

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Betty would like a small piece of native jewelry in her package. The traditional exchange of gifts cannot be ignored.

The question still remains, where can we get stuff sent?

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:31 pm

Become a Premium Member and get a Drop Box (and groovy Premium forum!). Well wrth the money, if you ask me.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:40 am

Got a memorandum of understanding today.....

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:44 am

I finally got that ditzy secretary to send me the IRS forms. Laughing

I also like the idea of staying in character in our emails back and forth, just in case we accidentally forward something to the lad.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:58 am

^^^Hahaha! My nightmare! Good plan....

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Betty is ready to drop the hammer. Not only is she getting multiple redundant e-mails a day but they are not being CC'd to the other members of the decision making process. Plus, every e-mail is a freakin' novella. A little word economy would be nice.

A slap is needed.

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:16 pm

I hope you liked my half-buzzed verbal spew last night. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

The Bishop has gotten several of these emails, now that I check. He’s using BCC. Mad

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I will stop forwarding everything if that is the case.

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:00 pm

I think the bishop needs to be slapped for that. I know he wasn't including me in some of his emails earlier on and now he does after someone reminded him how unprofessional it was.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Sent today in response to an e-mail I got this morning.

Quote:

Dear Mr. 0bi,

I am writing to tell you how thrilled I am with your willingness to adapt to church policy. I recently spoke to the members of the funding board and they all still feel strongly about supporting the good work you do there in Africa. I understand that the paperwork can seem overwhelming but that is how we are forced to operate here in the United States. If there was anything I could do to make it easier I would, but our government is very strict about record keeping.

As I stated in an earlier e-mail, I believe that your request is very close to completion. I have processed hundreds of donations in my years with the church and see nothing that should interfere with your request. I am fortunate as church secretary to oversee the transfer of funds when the council signs off on the donation, I can't wait for the opportunity to send money to my Christian bretheren in Africa. We are all so fortunate to have been brought together by the Lord.

In Christ,

B3tty Skokie

Did somebody send him revisions to make on the IRS forms? He claims he will make 'the revisions' but I don't recall seeing any specific revisions demanded of him. Did I not get CC'd into an e-mail?

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

He responds:

Quote:

Dearest Madam & brethren in Christ Jesus,
May the peace and Glory of the Lord be upon you
people including we in africa here.We are all one doing the
good work of the Lord with hope to make heaven at the end.

Yes,I can understand your feelings for us,this operation has mandated me to
leave everyother jobs I have at hand to make sure we are successful to
your request and to make sure that you people actualize the donations/fundings
of our projects.Therefore,am working even over time as directed by the local
Church here to reach you people.Please I dont want you people to lack informations
on our willingness and readiness to adapt to your system and make some changes on
the paper work,help us,we are working together in Christ.

We are beginners and do not have funds to move forward but doing all possible best
to make sure we transform human life of children,adults,orphanages,widows,widowers
etc.We care for them,share their responsibilities and demands with them.We give
attention to their request and listen to them.

All this we do here to save lives.its a non profitable work but believing that the good
Lord will reward us and our families.As I have promised with optimism,you people will
receive the paper work again on monday.Please how do we forward the MoU? Is it
by DHL or What?Please advice.Please still deliver my plea to the members of the funding
board that we are doing our best here in africa and that they should consider this.I thank
God that HE has brought us together as we all know.

And please how much are you people sending to us?Please inform.Please why you do not call?.
In Christ,glory.I await your kindest response and good news.

0bi Ama3chi.

I fire back a quick message:

Quote:

Dear Mr. 0bi,

I know that you have been in contact with the Bishop and members of the funding board. I would ask you to direct your questions to them. Please CC me into any e-mail you send them and I will ask that they CC me into their response.

There are two reasons that I have not called you:

1. I have no reason to call you. I am a secretary and I handle the paperwork associated with our charitable giving. There is nothing I could tell you in a phone call that I haven't already told you via e-mail.

2. A long distance call to Africa is very expensive. I cannot justify such an expense to our congregation.

I am sure that a member of the funding board will call you in due time. For now, we must concentrate on getting the paperwork finished. Once that is all done the money should make its way to your church quite quickly.

I received an e-mail from the Bishop today reminding me that he hopes to make a trip out to visit you in the near future. Can you please provide me with the name of the airport he will be flying into and the name of a nice (preferably 4-star) hotel that he can stay at? I need this information to book his trip. It wouldn't surprise me if he flew out and brought you the money himself. He is very excited about this project. Please provide me with that information as soon as possible.

In Christ,

B3tty Sk0kie

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:12 am

Make up a number for the amount of funds we are (not) sending him. Not like it's real money. Laughing

Have we decided where he goes yet? I don't think he is quite as dumb as Dan so Abeche might be a long shot. Then again, we've already done Abeche. Perhaps Abidjan or Accra?

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