The great charity scam *dolla chops aplenty*

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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:45 pm

Dan will never see one penny from this format if I have anything to do with it. Glad to see he's still on someone's hook.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I received an e-mail this morning from the Reverend H4yes. Betty is not happy for 3 reasons:

1. It is typed in all caps. That is unprofessional and overly-aggressive.

2. He liteally told me to 'hurry up' with the paperwork. Nobody talks to me that way.

3. He told me that the construction of their new church must be completed by the end of the month. Their inability to schedule accordingly is not my fault.

I will send a severe slap his way later this afternoon. I will most likely threaten to report his lack of professionalism to the church elders. That is, unless he offers a sincere apology and promises to be more professional in the future.

BTW, I am planning on sending him some IRS documents on Monday. My wife works in the not-for-profit sector and knows exactly which documents those receiving charitable donations need to fill out. They are long and complex.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Got my 3rd (all caps) e-mail of the day asking for the paperwork.

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:21 pm

^^^

I can offer to be your work experience very junior trainee secretarial assistant, who can get the odd thing wrong whilst being oh so happy to help church business along, being so very devout and happy and clappy and a bit stupid. It may give you added leverage and confuse matters somewhat then give you added authority when you slap me for unprofessionalism and I could then, very slighty miffed act as your underling and give your character even more power and gravitas.

Just a suggestion.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Sir scam alot is running this show. If he wants to hire me an intern I will take one.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Quote:

My Dear Reverend,

I am very confused about what constitutes 'professionalism' in your community. Where I am from:

1. We do not disappear for weeks whilst in the middle of a business transaction.

2. We do not tell our business associates to 'hurry up.' That is quite rude.

3. We do not set a finish date on church construction prior to receiving the funding for said church.

4. We do not send three seperate e-mails in 24-hours requesting paperwork.

Your lack of professionalism in this instance has me tempted to report you to the church elders. Remember, without my support this transaction will not be approved. I expect a sincere apology on this matter and hope that you will refrain from such unprofessionalism in the future.

I will get the paperwork for you in due time. I oversee multiple aspects of church business and when I find the time I will see to your request.

In Christ,

Betty Skokie

Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:26 am

I like interns, now where's my cigars? Laughing

We could use an intern as we may end up having more lads than we know what do with.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

From our African reverend friend in response to my above letter:

Quote:

WE ARE SORRY IF WE WERE RUDE TO YOU,AT LEAST WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOME MESSAGE FROM YOU CONCERNING YOU HOW BUSY YOU ARE.THIS IS ALL DUE TO THE DATE AND HOW WE TOLD OUR CHURCH THAT YOU CAN HELP US FINISH THE PROJECT BY THIS MONTH BUT IT SEEMS THEY ARE NOT SEEING ANYTHING YET.

THANK AND WE AWAIT FOR YOUR PAPER WORK

My response:

Quote:

Dear Reverend,

If you wished for the project to be finished by this month, you should not have disappeared in the middle of our dealings. Maybe you should apologize to your church for skipping out on them when they need you the most.

I had numerous conversations with church elders over the holidays and we often discussed our confusion about your disappearance. We still support your work and have not lost faith in your cause. I will forward the paperwork to you on Monday. Tomorrow is the Sabbath and I do not work.

In Christ,

B3tty Sk0kie

Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 2:29 am

^
Insist he stop writing in all caps. Many computers in Nigeria use lower-case for the Arabic letters, so the only way to type the Roman alphabet is in all caps.

Insisting on lower case will inconvenience him to some extent. Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Will do.

Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:05 am

@ SSA Your corresponence is understood and noted.

Interns are ten a penny, but those with cigars tend to be pretty flexible.

Feel free to PM me if your require more staff.

I am new to mass baiting but willing to learn the ropes and make the tea.

Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

The Bishop is discussing sermons with him: I’m doing a series on the Ten Commandments and does he have thoughts?

P.S. Ms 5koki3 is upset with your unprofessionalism.

(The wording is more Bishop-y in the email.)

Anyway, on Sunday, Jan 18<sup>th</sup>, the sermon will be on Commandment Number One.

(I know we don’t want to educate our lads, but is it OK to make them study the Bible? I intend Rev. H4ye5 to become very familiar with the troubles of Job—from the inside.)

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Any e-mails sent to B3tty in the next few days will be met with an 'out of office' reply stating that she is ill and will return when her health improves. If anybody communicates with our African friend please let him know that B3tty has a touch of the flu and is expected back midweek. I bet the flu knocks me out for the whole work week though; it is a nasty strain.

I just feel like making him wait on his paperwork.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:07 am

that infidel Mr G0m3r has just jumped in and chopped his dolla to the tune of $7,000

ha i watch ur wrk na wen di maga dey ready fo drop i fly for na chop ur moni wi bi di gomer bois na wi hark ur inbox u dey little bois wi bi di best

I wonder if I'll get any decent siggy material

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Anybody heard from our lad? I was supposed to send him paperwork on Monday and purposefully didn't. It is unlike him not to pester me.

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

Uhh, folks—what’s with the convention?

Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:48 pm

I have no idea. This lad is all over the place with his story.

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

I think he wants me to run an appeal during services. But I misunderstood him as asking me to be a guest lecturer in Nigeria.

Also I have him researching for my sermon series on the Ten Commandments. Wonder what the discussion will be when it comes to #8?

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I sent the paperwork he has been begging me for. He got about a dozen pages of the actual IRS forms that a charitable organization such as his would have to fill out were this a real transaction. I told him that his church accountant should be familiar with them.

Master Baiter Joined: 04 May 2007 Posts: 187

We may have gone too far here. I mean, leaving someone stredded in hash conditions is one thing, but making them fill out IRS forms is just plain overly cruel. beers!

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

If we gave him years, he would not be able to make sense of those forms. Of course, I will ask him to try his best. Though I doubt that his best will be good enough for Betty.

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 8:08 pm

And after all of the forms have been completed (I use that term loosely), Brother Timothy will be glad to meet him in some desert hamlet.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Could the church accountant please contact Betty? PM me here or drop a line to my yahoo e-mail.

It seems our lad is trying to get out of filling out the IRS documents. I think he needs a lesson on how the US tax system works.

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:02 pm

I am working on a new format that I intend to hit a bunch of lads with. It'll have news stories to back this up. More to come soon. Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

It seems like this bait is stagnating a bit. Shall Betty continue to push him or should I let this fade away?

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