Love? Husband? What!!!???

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Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:27 pm

Okay so I have been baiting this lad for about 2 weeks and she started asking for food money because she's starving. Then she threw bank forms at me, in which case I brought up her urgent need for food and I am willing to send $$$ for food and she replies me with this:

Quote:

My Dearest Sweetheart,
How are you today and weekend? I hope you are fine.
Thanks very much for your concern and effort to help me out from the situation that i am into.

I am praying that everything will work out fine..My love i just to know if the bank have agree you to ge my partner for thetransfer that is why i ask you if the bank has reply to you ok. Please try your best to send the money for my food today i seriously need it ok

I will be waiting to read your mail about sending the money to me ,Please make sure that you will be sending me mails time to time so that my mind will be at rest ok. You are the joy of my heart my only one ,My darling husband you mean alot to me.

I LOVE YOU

What? Husband? The worrying thing is how will I will I explain this to my parents? I can't be married right now, to much of a responsibility. Laughing

How should I reply back? Should I tell her about a wedding I will plan in Africa? Or bring her to me?

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:32 pm

Leave your parents out of it for now Laughing

I guess your friend has no clue who he is writing to, so ask for pictures so you can pick a gender to go with or force him into one he hasn't thought of yet Twisted Evil

With it's own problems, laws and of course forms Laughing

It might also be time for some serious de-education of his English spelling so he warns new victims himself Laughing

You got a nice one there, marry him/her/it and you'll have a friend for life Wink

Have fun

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:34 pm

I must admit, I am a little saddened as if I baited him from my female character, we could've been lesbians! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:40 pm

I wonder whether she is sure she loves you enough to put up with your family traditions, especially since you too are so distant from each other. How will she partake in the bathing of the virgin's head in milk ritual?

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:41 pm

@ CatEater

Please consider me for a bridesmaid or best man, depending upon my character at any given time.

I have been a wife to many a lad, and become a born again virgin more times than I can remember.

Don't forget the pre-nuptual agreement. Eater is overrun with lawyers and wedding planners.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:55 pm

She reminds me of T1n4 J0hns0n! I baited her as a female and she confused me for a while then just started calling me her sister. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:09 pm

I think you should make wedding plans. Have him/her answer LOTS of questions http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=wedding+plan+questions&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq= about what kind of wedding it will be. If she/he says something like "you decide for us both, darling." than you should get huffy and pout "You don't care about our wedding arrangements???! Don't you LOVE me?!?!?!?!?" ECT...
When he/she does give answers - point out the faults .... "You picked CHICKEN for the reception dinner?!?!?!? Are you MAD! Lets just serve people chilli in plastic bowls and let them eat with there fingers!"....

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:41 am

Great stuff guys, I just proposed to her and am waiting her reply. I will then initiate the bathing of the virgin's head in milk ritual and have many many questions about the "big" day, or maybe we can have an online wedding with the Pastor.

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:13 pm

Oh boy I just recieved her mail and it's a gem!

My Love
How are you doing today? i hopefine. honey i read and understand your mail my dea rlistern send the money to me today through western union money ransfer with the nameof revernd steven johnson he will recieve the money to me . My husdand therev. will buy thefood for me because we do not go outof the camp coming thecall i am waiting for your cal today ok I am waiting for the information you use to pay in the money for my food

WITH LOVE AND KISS

Did she just say her husband will buy the food for her? Does her husband know she's a polygamist?
Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:18 pm

you got me puzzled there too? How are you ever going to marry it?
The milk washing of the head is not enough now, the whole body will have to be submerged in milk at least, tar and feathers might be better for a long lasting relationship though Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:22 pm

That definitely calls for a slap.
Tell that wretched hen that you are a very jealous person and she is NOT to be marrying, dating, humping, or cooking for any other man but YOU.

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:34 pm

Koko.Dk wrote:

She reminds me of T1n4 J0hns0n! I baited her as a female and she confused me for a while then just started calling me her sister. Laughing

She reminds me of her too. I am baiting right now. She wants to marry my millions...she doesn't love me, only my money. And she told to get in touch with too. The two timing little b*&@#!

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:53 pm

I might have been to hard on her but she apologized to me:

My love why are you saying this to me . i called you my husband , the mistake is that i do not give space between the and rev. For you to proof me innocent look at the thefood and outof the rev steven johnson computer has a little problem ok you have to understand me ok i started cry ing after i read your mail ok My husdand ,therev. will buy thefood for me because we do not go outof the camp coming thecall i am waiting for your cal today. Please my love also look at dea rlistern instead of DEAR LISTERN. Please i truly love you with botton of my heart why are you want to drop me half way. these are i make was were i made mistake because of rev. computer problem.

I waiting to read your immediate response.

WITH LOVE AND TRUST

3d1th

My husdand the rev. will buy the food for me because we do not go out of the camp--------------------This is what i mean please i do not have any sense of cheating you. I mark those letters with red to prove my innocent please.

Note: In the e-mail some of the words were written in HUGE writing to emphasize her distress. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:15 pm

She has clearly tainted this relationship and needs to prove her love by holding a sign proclaiming her love for you. AND she needs to do it in such a way as the entire refugee camp can see it.

Of course you will also be needing a picture of said proclamation in progress.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

You definitely need a prenup. I would offer my services as an Imaginary Lawyer, but I tend to piss the ladies off. Nurse Nasty's true love despises me now. I mean, she really hates me.

Imaginary Lawyers are important in the negotiation of the dowry. Make sure that she provides you a dowry. Some nice drawings, perhaps?

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:27 pm

Well guess I will be going for my trophy. Embarassed

Jayhawk I almost spit my water all over my keyboard reading those smurf quotes, classic! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:34 pm

@cateater

Ease her into it. Tell her that one of your ex-girlfriends did that for you in the past when she screwed up. Try and make it sound like a perfectly normal thing for couples to do when they make up.

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:43 am

She is becoming desperate, haven't e-mailed her today but she sent me this:

My Lovely Husband,

Please i am beging you with the name of the lord my heart are clear i am cheating you and i do dream of cheating you even a second since when i found you in my life . it ie the computer problem and the rev has repair it you can call the rev. if you like ok . since i raed you mail i am not getting myself the way i fell and cry i have not feel like this since tthe death of parent. My Husband please go ahead and send the money to me if you really love and care for me the way i did here in the camp thinking about you always ok.

WITH LOVE AND TRUST

3d1th

Oh how I found a gem in lad land. She dreams of cheating me, that no good wretch! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:38 am

She accepted my proposal and wrote a poem for me Very Happy

:
"
Dearest Love H@P CHU,

Now darling, you should know
That I'm really, really in love with you
My spirint is always with you over there in my dream country, darling.
My heart will always belong to you
There are many, many things all around me
That will always remind me of you
I know I'll never forget you darling
My heart will always belong to you
Although, although I cannot see you
I could never, never stop lovin' you
I just hope very sonn we will be together, darling
Because my heart will always belong to you
And I know youʼre with me always, always
I can feel it in the air
The fire that we share
Can only come from deep within
Itʼs a light that burns so bright
It guides you through the night
And leads you to me

with love and kiss

3D1TH"

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

If all goes according to plan, I will have her taking pictures in a wedding gown holding a sign that reads:

H@P CHU,
BL3$$ Y0U

I might even push it and have milk all over the gown.
Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:06 pm

CatEater wrote:

I might even push it and have milk all over the gown.

Sounds kinky! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 5:21 pm

blah wrote:

CatEater wrote:

I might even push it and have milk all over the gown.

Sounds kinky! Laughing

Do you know where I can find pre-nup forms and other wedding forms?

Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 5:40 pm

Hey, I think your wife may be Hayley Westenra in disguise. Half of that poem comes from "My Heart Belongs to You."

Great baiting so far. I'm looking forward to the wedding day! Remain bless.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

CatEater, I would suggest setting up a lawyer character to email the prenup. This way, should things go bad, you can always blame the lawyer. It works quite well, especially if your character has inherited a bunch of money.

Good luck on the marriage! Where are you two registered?

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:22 pm

She is not happy with me:

how are you doing today? i hope fine.
Why are you doing this to me .you told me that you will send the money to me . since than you do not i told you to send the money through western union money transfer with the name of the rev.
if you really went to send the money to me do so today or you forget anything about me . the form reverend send to me. i need money to print it out and sign it before sending it to the reverend.
it means that you do not trust me again You want me to send a wedding dress holding a customary sign to you how do i get the it without money

i am waiting to hear that you have send the money or this will be the last mail i will write to you ok i will not cry again because of you.

I had the Father e-mail the wedding forms and requiring a picture of her in a wedding dress, she is to "poor" to do any of the following. I was thinking of telling her that she is not serious about our relationship and that the wedding is off. This is the third girl who has done this to me... What do you guys think?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Why not do a good cop - bad cop thing? You love this woman and trust her completely, but your father (who controls the money) is somewhat loopy and is demanding the pics.

Maybe you would then come up with a scheme where you could both kill your father, and get rich from the money you inherit.

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