What should I tell my mother?

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:06 pm

Today I had an uncomfortable talk with my mother. She doesn't like what I'm doing. In her words, "it's not doing anything to improve the world". She was spectical, to put it midly, when I told her we take up a scammer's time so that he can't go after real victims. I'm at loss as to what to say to her. Are there any statistics or anything I can show her? I just feel so terrible that she feels that way.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

ChainYanker, I suggest that you show her ScamWarners first. You can let her know that baiters distract the scammers from victims, report bank accounts, shut down fake sites, help victims find out about the scam by posting information, accidentally or purposefull get victim information from their baits, etc.

Additionally, baiting has an entertainment/amusement factor that draws people in. That helps spread the word about scams, increasing awareness.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

:tongue in cheek:

Point out that you are using the internet for good and not online porn or WoW (which is pretty much the same, from what I've been told).

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:14 pm

Print out a few of the posts from Eater users who found this place because they Googled in search of more information about the strange e-mails they were receiving from strangers. These people have come here to tell us, first hand, that we're doing something useful. I can't think of any better proof of the point behind baiting than that.

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:33 pm

ChainYanker wrote:

Today I had an uncomfortable talk with my mother. She doesn't like what I'm doing. In her words, "it's not doing anything to improve the world". She was spectical, to put it midly, when I told her we take up a scammer's time so that he can't go after real victims. I'm at loss as to what to say to her. Are there any statistics or anything I can show her? I just feel so terrible that she feels that way.

im haveing the same problem with my wife so it doesn't mater what age you are people have a opinion on some think they know nothing about i will be watching this thread for help to Thumbs up

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:40 pm

Thank you. I'm just feeling really put-out by what happened, and I needed a little moral support.

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:43 pm

Quote:

I just feel so terrible that she feels that way

That shows you're a good daughter, caring about her feelings too. On the other hand, you can't make her change it, it is her right to have her own opinion. So from here on it's politics Laughing

You could mention the good points mentioned above, verbal or in print out and give her a chance to appreciate the work you've been doing here.
Not everybody is made to step up and become a cop, a firefighter or a priest and take on the world on his/her own, at least you're trying the best you can, without endangering family or friends.
Helping strangers in need to understand what went wrong and where they should have be more careful in the future is no crime either, so there must been a kink in the communication with your mom.
I do not always agree with the baiting results some members get from their lads so if she heard only that side I can understand her.
Show her a "good" fake bank that rips of a few hundred victims and tell her that you can shut that down even before the police knows it's there.
Give her time to absorb, take more time to explain and she'll come around.
Good luck

Fixed the gender. TS Wink

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:44 pm

Don't feel bad, my girlfriend thinks this is useless hobby and waste of time that could be better spent watching the Lifetime channel with her or watching paint dry on the walls. Some people just don't understand what we do because they do not see any personal benefit from it.

I'm not saying your mom or my girlfriend are bad people, I'm just saying that they don't see things the way we do and convincing them otherwise isn't always possible.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

I think all of us have someone who will disagree.

my missus has finally come around.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:21 am

@CY - if it helps, tell her that my pastor thinks I'm doing a great thing. Wink

Seriously, Ima made the best points. Sending out emails and wasting the lads' time is not the heart of what we do. It grabs the most attention because it is published here, and it is what people just getting into the whole picture do first.

But one into the action, new baiters realize the whole range of "jobs" that really DO make a difference - site killing, warning, education, and other behind-the-scenes work that actually hurts the lads and measurably helps victims.

And, yes, my pastor is proud of me. Mr. Green

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:50 am

ChainYanker,

All great advice above!

We all need to process things our own way and in our own time. I wouldn't inundate her with a lot of explanations all at once. You could print out just a couple of particularily heart breaking victim stories from Scamwarners. Let her digest them and empathize with the despair and hopelessness these victims live with everyday.

Then you could print out a couple of triumphant stories, where people due to sites like this (this one's the best of course) Smile

were educated and saved a ton of heartache. No doubt she'll then understand what a good cause it is, and will come around.

When your Mom said:

Quote:

"it's not doing anything to improve the world".

You might gently remind her of this one:

Quote:

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Edmund Burke
Good Luck Smile

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:40 am

I like the comments about pointing her to scamwarners. I would then tell her the parable of the starfish. (If you don't know that one, just google it.) If you are making the difference to just one (victim), you have made a difference in and to the world.

Best to you in your explication.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:11 am

Quote:

What should I tell my mother?

Tell her you love her and that she is wonderful. Make her breakfast at least twice a week and always offer to make her a coffee or tea whenever she sighs.

Every now and then tell her she looks really nice in that outfit/hairstyle/shoes - Big brownie points for all these. Sooner or later you will be the perfect offspring and can do no wrong. She'll ease up.

Also offer to wash the dishes when she looks tired.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:25 am

Most people just don't "get" baiting, and are uncomfortable when I mention what I do here.

I converted two of them by sending them a pictorial Christmas card of "The Lad Who Stole Christmas". They laughed so hard that they inevitably began to wonder how we can persuade Lads to do sh*t like that.

From there, it was an easy step to explain the more serious aspects of what we do, and thus gain their understanding and tacit support.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:29 am

The "Lad Who Stole Christmas" is an office favorite where I work.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:38 am

I insist on my family all eating at the table for every evening meal. As revenge the kids make me give them a daily baiting report.. (Teach 'em early I always say). As far as my mother is concerned I am sure her response would be "what is a computer?"

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:36 am

Tsnerd wrote:

... or WoW (which is pretty much the same, from what I've been told).

Nah, its not like porn, more like an online Disneyland you don't have to wait in line for.

@ CY

Just be sure to expose what we do here bit by bit, don't throw it all at her in big chunks. Also, don't let her knowledge of what we do here remain ignorant. Explain everything to her and explain how safe it really is.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:07 am

@CY, if you're under the age af consent, then do what your mother says.

However, if you are over the age of consent, then tell your mother, "You're right Mom. Thanks for the great advice." And then never discuss scam baiting with her again! Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Yes, I agree with Crash. If you are legally an adult, then you can do whatever you like, although it could be argued not if you live in the same house.

I told my wife after I had settled in at Eater, she knows I hate criminals, and so I can take my rage out on them without physically hurting them/ me getting hurt.

However, she drew the line at me meeting one in person, Otterfan and I were going to do a lad meet, but she was not keen. I didn't want to upset her, so I didn't do it.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:57 am

@craig007 im watching top gear as i type and i can see the bald spot from your wifes thumb Laughing

@ChainYanker remember that she who must be obeyed makes the cookies and those sunday roasts bow_down

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:36 am

Quote:

And, yes, my pastor is proud of me

I am proud of you too Wink

It seems I am not alone in having a wife who would rather me on the lounge watching lifestyle with her rather than "saving the world" as she puts it Crying or Very sad

I occasionally get encouragement from her, but not often, oh well, baiting goes on Laughing

In answer to the OP question, do as Ima suggests and if that fails, do as Crash suggests Cool

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

See those fake sites in your signature? I'd push that angle.

My other half doesn't like the idea of humiliating scammers, even if it's just to get silly photos, so I don't tend to mention that angle to her.

What we do, in decreasing order of importance:

We publicise 419 scams and educate people about how they work.
We get victim information for warning.
We get evidence against scammers and report it - mainly bank accounts.
We close down scammers' on-line resources where it is productive to do so, costing them money and reducing their believability to victims.
We make scammers more wary of victims that ask too many questions, which reduces the number of available victims.
We waste scammers' time and money, reducing the resources they have to scam real victims.
We make crime pay just a little bit less, making it a less attractive career choice.

No matter what you do in the baiting world, you are saving people from losing money. There is no way to know how many people or how much money. Ask yourself how many people and how much money would make it worth your time. If just once you saved someone from losing their home and their life savings, wouldn't that make it all worthwhile?

You can do that by passing on a CC'd list of victims or closing a fake site, because the easiest victim to warn is the one who is yet to get hooked. But there is no telling how much they would have lost if they were never warned or smelt a rat when the fake bank died. Two or three years down the line they might have been homeless or in prison for passing fake cheques.

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:41 am

Quote:

She was spectical, to put it midly

This is the act of an older person pushing their glasses down their nose and looking at you over the top of them before dispensing wisdom or a wise saying.

My wife just comments on me being on that bloody computer again. Whilst she doesn't totally understand what we do, and was worried about being traced, she has seen some of the results and has become much more scam aware. So I've managed to educate at least one person.
My advice just echos the others, if you chat to your mother about the subject again mention the educational and warning side of it. Watch out for newspaper articles on scams you can show her.

What should I tell my mother?	View next topic View previous topic