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 He has broken my Heart - what do I do Now???

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Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 05 Jan 2009
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi, newbie here. I had heard of the big money scammers, but never about the romance / heart breakers. Several months ago, my sister and I - living in different states - joined dating sites. I met my Lad early on, as well as she also found a new love interest. We happily chatted along with them in emails and IM‘s and actual phone conversations, until I went to see her for a visit. Hmmmm. We had the same man’s pictures!!! I immediately called My Love, and told him what had happened. He was Indignant! Some ‘Scammer’ had stolen his pictures off the date sites! Even to my cries that at this point I do not care if he is the man in the picture or not, I still love him, even if he is Nigerian, I am in love with the Man. He holds to his story. Meanwhile, my sister releases a hail of anger on her Lad (who has Already ask for money) saying she will turn him into the authorities, causing him to cry and confess to being a Nigerian college student this being his ‘first scam’. These ARE 2 Different men.

My Love (Lad) denied being anyone other than who he had told me. A Belgium National (agreeable with his picture), who had come to live in Gainsville, GA, USA, and worked as a self employed business man currently in Africa. His parents had been killed in a road accident while visiting family in Belgium. He had twin sons by a unfaithful wife who was now married to her lover, and had taken his sons to Utah. Meanwhile, he is waiting at the port in Africa everyday waiting for his shipment of goods to deliver to the customer so he could return to GA. USA, and then on to me to get married.

By this time I am head over heels In Love with him, turning away real life men, and try to rationalize how someone Could steal his pictures. His English certainly was not American, so at least I was sure he had not lied about that part. Every morning I had emails and IM before he went to the port to wait for his goods to arrive. Every night a report on how they did not come in and frustration was sitting in because of the delay, keeping him from returning home to me. Meanwhile asking how was my family getting along, and how were things going with me. Soon we would be together for eternity. This went on for some time. We had talked for a couple of months, and HE had never said a word about money even though I had let him know I had ample recourses, thinking IF he was a scammer this would surely bring him to a point. Instead he says things like, “Oh Baby, you have 3 cars, do you not think that is too many?”, “Did you go to church today, God and Faith is very important to me.”

So I have let down my guard and we are happily planning our future together, moving in the twins, and a year later, moving to Belgium to begin a totally new life together. Then the last shipment arrives. The African Government has placed an Unexpected TAX on the shipment! He needs $400 US to cover the tax. I am floored, I did not see That Coming, my heat sinking. I suggest he have the business waiting for the goods to pay the tax. Or maybe his ex wife would send the money, after all child support is hard to get from Africa.

The game has begun. But I tell him I am Sure that He will work something out. And he does! The only problem is now he can not pay the extended stay in the hotel, while waiting on the delayed shipment. What is he going to do? Everyday away from me in the ‘Hell is living in‘, is to much, can I send him the money. We fight. I have already told him every time he asks for money his value goes down. Despite our cultural differences he should understand a women does not give a man money. Please remember, this man has worked his way Deeply into my Heart. Yes, reality is ringing a bell, but I am Hooked. This is a hard thing for someone who considers herself an intelligent women to admit. My brain is saying ‘Scammer’ but my heart is saying “NO”, Loudly. After a couple of days we are making up, and he seems to have things under control. Then suddenly, he is having trouble again paying the hotel bill. “Please Baby, I need you to Loan me $400, I will pay you back when I get home to the states.” Well Crap. I spend this at the vet, I can send him the money.
Western Union points out to me how much that translates to in Africa. A very tidy sum! I am to contact him immediately when I return to give him the transaction number and code. For 3 days he does not make contact. Was this a test? I call WU and have the money returned. They laugh, I laugh too, lol. Then he is Back, where is the money? My heart sinks lower. We fight again, I say I am done. But his emails are so pitiful, he cries on a phone call that I am breaking his heart, he doesn’t need the money, he needs my love, we make up. But the hotel manager is getting ready to toss him into the street. Like a woman possessed I go and send the money again crying all the way. This is not me, what the heck? But all is well. Come home My Love.

Two weeks later, he is needing hotel money! When are you coming home, I ask. His plane ticket has expired, he needs $3000 US to fly home in time for Christmas. Mind you, I have saved every precious word of emails and IM that has been sent, there is no mention of the ticket expiring. At this point I tell him I have tied all my monies up in investments ( he did know I had been to see the bank agent) and I do not have the cash. He suggest I sell one of my cars! Did I hear that correctly? Sell my car? Yes, or get a loan. I am searching for excuses. The economy here has gone down, surely as a business man he is aware. So perhaps I can borrow it from my family, but a dealership will give me instant cash for a car.

I am truly sick and hurt. Christmas comes and goes, can I get him home for New Years? I went to my sisters for New Years telling him I would ask her for the money, with no intentions of doing so. He is not expecting me to be home until Tuesday, even though he has called to make sure I wasn’t home. Now I am more angry than loving, and ready to use up some of his precious time as he has used mine. But he is getting irritated, I am sure he is trying to close out his 2008 accounts. I think I actually heard someone coaching him on what to say during our last phone call.

I found this group today. I need suggestions to keep stinging him along.

BTW, there are another 20 scammers who have found their way into my in box from the same date site, all of them waiting their turn.
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justicebdone
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 679
Location: Beaming Up


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

HLS, I am sure someone with more experience with the romance lads will be along shortly. My concern is your personal safety. From the sounds of your story, your lad has your # and real name. PLease drop him IMM. You can always pick him back up from a safe # and email addy.
Read the stickies and bait safe. Just because I didnt see it in your post doesnt mean it's not there but if I missed that you are already using a secure # and addy then I apologize.

_________________
Son of a b**** don't you give me some s*** like you don't have 7000.00, what about the money you realized from missile you ba****** sold to the Iranians? Nathan "The Potty Mouth" Hitman

F****** d*** motherf***** if you really sent the f****** money why don't you send the f****** control number at once cos I don't really have the time to f*** around with you anymore....you messed up my own Chritsmas too. Nathan "The Potty Mouth" Hitman

If you dont know you are now the Company Police. The Annoyed Check Lad

BACK the ATTACK
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Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 05 Jan 2009
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

No you are correct justicebdone, He has my real name and phone number. I do not know if he remembers my Last name or town from WU. I have a security system with cameras, but everyone says he is HOME, and would not come here even if he had airfare??? I do need to keep reading information on this site. Thank you for your concern. I wish I had found this prior to the date site. I did post several complaints with them.
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Cathartic Kate
Elite Baiter


Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1542
Location: Spooner Hall


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Please remember, this man has worked his way Deeply into my Heart. Yes, reality is ringing a bell, but I am Hooked. This is a hard thing for someone who considers herself an intelligent women to admit. My brain is saying ‘Scammer’ but my heart is saying “NO”, Loudly."

These love scammers are the lowest of the low, utterly callous, uncaring and only love your money. Refuse any future contact and it will give up.
Note I call it "it" that is what they truly are. They will even agree, I have tested them on this often, to encourage you to go on the game to make the money to send to them.

Please make use of this forum, including the university, to understand how they work their victims, sickeningly with some success.

You are too close to bait this one, please post "it" into surplus for someone else here to make the lad suffer.

Lastly, welcome, learn to bait safe and effectively and warn others in real life so they avoid something similar.

_________________
Give the lads some extra pain with your own IT admin from hell - visit toolkits for Grooble Gambit

Proud member of "The Todger Club"

Closed lad accounts < никогда достаточно




Goat
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Branwen
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4771
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Your Lad wrote you a love story, using himself as the hero. He is not that character, any more than the author of a book is the hero featured in it. The hero in the story might be just the man you would want, but the author is not him: he might be a drunkard who beats his wife and kicks his dog.

Of course you are hurt and bewildered and angry. Lying about love to obtain money is a despicable thing to do. Realising you have trusted such a liar is a knock to your own self-esteem. I know; I've been there.

But this Lad has the love story and the hero character that works for you. So let him go, and leave him alone, or he might get back into your heart again. Block his emails and turn off your phone. If you accidentally answer it and it is him, don't speak; just hang up.

Then take your rightful anger and 'catch' some different love scammers, this time under a false name and with a safe email address. Choose some that do NOT write a love story or present themselves as a hero that appeals to you, yourself. Choose some that you wouldn't want anyway, but other women might. Lead them a merry dance, waste their time, and keep them away from other women who might fall for their pretend charms.

And remember: you only fell for the love story because you are a good person, kind and giving. So don't be tempted to be angry with yourself. A real man will be glad you are just the way you are.

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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SevenSeas
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 01 Sep 2008
Posts: 20
Location: adrift


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome HLS !

Sorry for your experience with this scum. Please remember that all the crying , begging and pleading is used to push you into a state of panic to save him. It was all a lie to gain your trust.

These bastards prey on the kind hearts of innocent people and doubtless he's had many more victims besides yourself. It is fortunate that you were smart enough to recognize him for the liar that he is. Many have been financially ruined before they realize they have been scammed.

I join the other baiters in telling you to cease ALL contact immediately. If you decide to bait , get a mentor and bait safe. Best of luck !

_________________
i colapsed when i saw your picture in my attachement . i have never seen such an angle who is fobearance like you in my life since i was born . i am emmanuel and you my angle.
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Corona
Baiting Guru


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry this happen to you, HLS!

If you would like to give us his e-mail, we could show you how big of a scumbag he is and it could help with your healing.

Your call! Wink

_________________
Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Pretty Rose pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT GoatGoatGoatEaster EggEaster 2015Mc Fry Mc Fry
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Dramaqueen
Juan's stalker


Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Posts: 1423


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Hook,Line,and Sinker.
Im so terribly sorry this has happened to you Sad
I hate romance scammers the most because they not only take your money but hurt your heart and make you mistrustful of other people too.

Please dont beat yourself up because you are a kind and loving person who truly cared for someone. When you thought that person needed you, you were there for them. That is an honorable thing. Nothing to be ashamed of.

If you would like to give us his email and where he found you disguised so he cant find it here. We would be happy to take him on for you. Since he does have your personal details it is best if you walk away from him and leave him wondering what has happened.

You can post his email and details with pics of him on scamwarners and romancescam. This will help any other victims who are looking for information on this particular dirtbag. Which we know there are others because this is his job and how he makes his money.

Again I am so sorry this has happened to you and we are all here to help in anyway we can for you. If you would like to see him baited we will be more than happy to add him to our collection of parasites and see if we can cause him some problems for you.

If you have any questions you can PM any of us and we will try to help you all we can.

_________________
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Last edited by Dramaqueen on Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Titania
Hell on wheels


Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 2442
Location: Rollin' rollin' rollin'


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@HLS, welcome to Eater! Very Happy Glad you found us before you had sent a whole lot of money to this scammer. Any money sent to them is too much, though. Evil or Very Mad

As others above have said, drop him like a hot rock. Don't answer his emails, his IMs, his phone calls. Eventually he will give up and go on to other victims. If you post his details, maybe some of those "victims" will be members of this forum who will give him the time he deserves. Twisted Evil But not you, please. Not even masquerading as someone else, with a safe email addy that reveals nothing about yourself. He will twig in a minute if he's good, and it sounds like he's good.

By "post his details" I mean, post the dating site where you found him, his profile there, his initial message to you (if you still have it), and the first couple of emails from him, complete with headers (if you have them) - but with any of your information removed to protect your privacy.

Why do we ask this? Two reasons. The first is to give any baiters who want to jump on him enough information to know how to approach him. The second is to get the name and email address he was using out on the web so that another potential victim, doing a Google or other search, willl find him here and know that he's a scammer before she gets too involved with him.

You might also go to our sister site, www.scamwarners.com, and post the info in the Love Scams section there. The more places you post it, the likelier it is that a search will reveal him for what he is.

Don't give up on yourself or on love, though. It's out there for you. Or maybe it's not "out there" - maybe it's closer to home than you think. Wink

_________________
i do not know you.you need to expanciate more - C0llins W3aver
those words really made me felt completely bad..and i had to dust my ass and wipe tears Micheal David
pony pony pony Mc Fry Goat Goat Closed lad accounts Mortar x 8
Safari Stanley's Christmas Adventure 2008 - Lagos to Abuja - massbait
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Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 05 Jan 2009
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thank each of your for your kind words and understanding. On one hand I truly feel like a fool, but on the other it is good even through the pain to know my heart has such a capacity for love. I agree with all of you that I can not bait this man, as he is interwoven into my life and would spot me in a second being less than myself or posing as someone else.

Even as I was telling myself he was a Scammer, I still can not fathom someone preying on another’s heart. How he could speak so lovingly and cry with me and show so much concern and only be playing a game. I tried to find the humanity in this man. He is a man, a real person, not a robot, there had to be an ounce of decency in him Somewhere. If it was All an Act he truly is very good at his job. He did write the love story that worked for me, Branwen. I was not so much drawn in my his looks, (a hard and distinctive face). But, it was his words, as if my dead husband and soul mate had somehow returned. I thought I had found my Bliss. I was sincere in telling him I would move to Belgium to have a new life with him, after a year together in the states. He was intoxicating. I was even willing to accept twin sons from him, when in real life, I rarely consider a man with young children. But he was not good enough to provide any documents, instead he would challenge my Trust in him.

I was his perfect mark, as other scammers have not touched me in such a way, and have been easy to ignore. He even gave me his password, to his account on True.com so that I could delete him, and wanted me to do the same. At least I was clever enough not to give him mine, but did print off a list of his contacts there. I tried to contact the ladies on his list, but it is a paid site and many of them only come in for the free trial period. But True.com is where all 20 of my scammers found me, but the same ones are on Many Sites. They are all ‘living in the USA but working in Africa‘. I was So Naïve! Some even ask me if I had ever talked to someone in Africa before (which I had not). They are so efficient, that if your email is similar to your profile nic they find their way straight into your in box and IM. I found that creepy. One offered to send flowers to my home address but I refused. I have been kidnapped twice before turning 19, and have always told a friend where and who I was with when dating someone new. In college I even had one man let me make a copy of his drivers license for my roommate before our date. So I was utterly duped by this scammer.

SevenSeas, you are correct that he did push me into a state of panic to help him. It is my nature. The money was of little importance compared to his welfare. But when who I think is his boss started emailing and mimicking what was going on in our relationship, it was too clear. He had back up! The lad’s boss uses AOL, so he knows when an email has been opened. Only last night did it occur to me why he was always surrounded by noise and wanted me to call back in one or two hours - the Net Café!!! I was burning up his precious online time! Duh. Only once did I think he might be home with a family and seemed reserved to talk. I did not give him my home phone number (private listing), I accidentally forgot to block my number one day, and apparently the phone card allowed my number to show up - he was delighted and used it immediately.

I know he changes his profile nic often, but many of them are using the same set of pictures ( I have 8 or 10 of them, of the same man). And I am sure he uses the same “real” name. And one last name seems to be a common theme. I do have all of his emails from the very beginning. I will be glad to post them here, along with sites, nics and other info I have on all the scammers in my address book. Please tell me where to post this. I really do not want him to follow this back to me. I don’t even want to know when he is scammed. I am still too compassionate with him. Right now he thinks I am still out of town and my sister is going to tell him I have left the country for awhile.

This has all been over whelming, and has pushed me to the point of despair. I need to make this break for my own sanity. He told me one day this was ‘madness’, and he was right. A new year, a new path. Thank you again for your advice and support. Just direct me to the place to post the emails, pictures, and names, on this site. I will follow up with the sister sites. I do not want this heartbreak for anyone else.
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Ivana
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Beautiful Hot Springs


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm sorry this happened to you...

But you can take out your hurt & anger on new bait Twisted Evil

And when you hear the same lines from the new guy it can make you want to twist that screw even harder...trophy pics, fake WU things, fake deliveries...safari since you're coming to meet him this time...

I'm still new at this but learned a lot reading the forums - I concentrate on the love lads - and when I read the baits on here, it reminds me I am not leading on a real person but absolute scum.

Even knowing they are liars I at times feel for them, wonder how they're doing in their situation...then I come here and remind myself they are in a house, with a car, out drinking, drugging & playing with women, working by sitting in a smoke filled net cafe, saying the same things to everyone else.

_________________
Pith Helmet x2 Lagos - Cont, Benin "i really waste my money,time,effort,energy" - j.m. (w/OD)
Pith Helmet x2 Lagos - Cont. Benin, Lagos - Benin city - "i wasted my time and my money" - collins (w/OD)
Pith Helmet x2 Lagos to Benin city - kelvin (thanks again OD !!!) ongoing bait Very Happy
spent a night in jail for "wondering aimlessly"in benin city - Kelvin

"that i might be talking with an antichrist" - Kelvin
"thanks for all your effort witch never prove positive" - kelvin over m7cn s3cur3
"is hard ok i can not sleep becouse of it" - due to m7cn s3cur3 - Kelvin
"i even had a sleepless night because of it" - 2nd lad, m7cn again Very Happy
"i cant go through the stress overnight again" - 3rd lad from M7CN
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Ima Baeder
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18313


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi and I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. Crying or Very sad

It will take you a while to heal, but you sound like you're already heading in the right direction.

If you want to post this scammer's information, you can post it here for baiters to bait him, but please do register at www.ScamWarners.com, which is a site for education and victim support. Posting his details there will help lead other victims to that site should they search for anything. Join ScamWarners with a nickname that doesn't connect to your real life and omit all of your details from the information you post about him.

Do not hestitate to ask, either here or at ScamWarners, if you need further advice.

Take care.

_________________
348 Fake Sites killed United StatesUnited KingdomUnited NationsMaltaNigeriaGhanaBeninGermanySouth AfricaRussiaTogoMalaysiaEuropean UnionJapanIvory CoastSpainFranceSwitzerlandChinaCanadaItalyThailand

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Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 05 Jan 2009
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You are right Ivana. This Lad would never give me his address for a delivery, I had tried to send cards and a webcam. I ask with him to send me anything, something he had Touched. And when my sister told him we would fly into Africa he was beside him self with concern for ‘our safety’ in such a dangerous place. Thank you for sharing that you too sometimes feel for them and their situations. They are real people talking to us. Knowing he was possibly Nigerian, it angered me when he would make comments such as “How can I love these women, they are Black” or “I want out of this Hell”, what kind of person talks less of their own people even for the sake of gain??? However, they are Using us.

I was always so impressed that when he was angry his English was suddenly so clear in spoken words and emails that I had to laugh, and he would laugh with me. But that only helped me believe him more, this human side of him. Yet when he told me he only knew Dutch as another language, when I ask him about possible communication problems, he never once replied to a translated email. The final eye opener was when he told me he couldn’t wait for him and his sons to join ‘me and my loving daughter’. I don’t have children!!! I might have been wrong about many things, but I was certain of that fact.

Do I post this Lads and the others information in This Thread or somewhere else on site? I really feel awkward about his finding it and linking it to me. But then again, I guess he has said the same thing to so many people it would be hard to know.
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PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

HLS, I am so sorry you had to go through this heartbreaking experience. There are several baiters here who went through similar experiences so you are not alone. Please don't feel like you are being judged or be concerned about anyone thinking you are weak or ignorant. That is definitely not happening. While you may feel dumb or naive for falling for it, some of these romance scammers are very good. The bad ones are usually easy to spot.

A lot of excellent advice and guidance has already been offered so I will not belabor those points; however, there is one worth repeating. Definitely stop all contact with this scammer. He may persistently whine, beg and sob, but ignore him. As you now know, it is not real or sincere. If it is easier, you might close your email account or any other contact sources he has obtained. It may be a PITA, but sometimes it is the best. It's like ripping off a band aid really fast - it hurts a little more, but it's over fast.

If you decide you want to bait this scum sucking toad, it might be wise to wait until a little bit of time has past. You may be too emotionally invested at this moment to effectively bait him and for it not to be a painful reminder. There are plenty of other deserving lads to bait and torment. Consider them to be practice and take your initial anger out on them. Your first baits do not have to be on par with some of the larger and more involved romance baits you may see posted. Simple straight baits are a good place to start. The Romance Baiting FAQ thread at the top of this section is a good place to start reading if you have not already done so. Get a mentor, read some of the other threads, and ask a lot of questions. There are some very nice and great romance baiters here that are willing to help. If you decide baiting is not for you, that's fine too.

I'm glad you found Eater and good luck with whatever you decide to do. I'll slap one of my lads extra hard on your behalf. He'll be walking sideways and cross-eyed for a day or two.

_________________
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein

Mortar x3
Pith Helmet Banjul, The Gambia to Dakar, Senegal and back. 0usman C4mar4
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bill2
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 5495
Location: Yeah who can tell me where I am?


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey there and welcome here,
you came away with minimum damage there, some are of way worse before they catch on to it. Doesn't help much now, but consider it learning money, it will never happen to you again.
I have been scammed too, I know the feelings and doubts that you're fighting with, tell it to others is a good remedy to settle your mind and your heart will follow.
Quote:
Do I post this Lads and the others information in This Thread or somewhere else on site?
We would love to get some details to be able to bait this scum, but to reach more people and warn them,(Google is their friend) our sister site scamwarners.com would be the best place to post your story once you feel up to it as many did before you. There people will be able to advice you and help you to digest this terrible lesson that life gave you.
Thanks for sharing and I hope you get over it asap.
My luck, I finally find a woman that likes fishing (hook, line and sinker) and now I'm married Laughing

_________________
I don't do bling, I just do lads Evil or Very Mad
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Titania
Hell on wheels


Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 2442
Location: Rollin' rollin' rollin'


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@HLS, if you still feel uneasy about posting your scammer's details, you could PM the information to a moderator, who would be happy to post it on your behalf. (There I go, making offers for other people. Embarassed)

If you feel OK about posting, go ahead and post in this thread. This part of the forum is visible to non-members, so a google search will point here. that's why it's a good idea to scour the headers and other parts of the mails to be sure they don't point to you.

If you haven't already signed up at ScamWarners, I'd recommend you use a different user name than you used here, but still one that doesn't point to your real information.

You will recover from this. You may have to go through a "grieving process," but in time you will reach the final stage and be ready to go on with life. Your desire to get the information out there for other potential victims is a very good sign. Very Happy

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those words really made me felt completely bad..and i had to dust my ass and wipe tears Micheal David
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Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 05 Jan 2009
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thank you again for all the support and suggestions. I had some reservations about posting, wondering how many people would want to kick my butt and call me idiot, but all of you have been wonderful. I just stopped by to take notes to start doing my ‘homework‘.

No I do not want to tip the Lad off to this site, so I will be careful what I put up here. I really must learn how to do some of these Google searches! I even heard they have image searches? Scammer Micheal’s pictures don’t look professional enough to be from a model site. I feel sorry for this poor guy who is actually in the pictures as he is a victim also. Bless his heart, women will be slapping him silly on the street.
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bill2
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 5495
Location: Yeah who can tell me where I am?


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

if...I wouldn't know why though as the poor chap has nothing to do with it, try [url] Tineye.com [/url] they search for pictures.
Google.com searches for the name of pictures or a general make up of it.
http://images.google.com/imghp?hl=en&sa=N&tab=li will bring you there.
But then you never loved that picture, you loved the idea and that will have to wear off.
Your "friend" or typist might be a 6'5" 300# guy from Nigeria and you have to share him with fifty other women at least. He doesn't care though, sharing is more cash for him, no conscience, no morals, just your average criminal.
We're thinking of you, you'll be fine in a few.

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Dorothy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 3114
Location: somewhere over the rainbow


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

HLS,

Welcome, and I'm glad you found us before things got even worse. I expect you will find that in general the people here will the last to judge you--one thing that baiting teaches you is that there is no limit to how low most scammers will go. Successful scammers are extremely manipulative, very adaptable, and very good at playing on the emotions of others. And the number one thing to remember when dealing with these scammers: Lads lie.

As others have posted, for the sake of other victims (and I can assure you he is working more than one scam at a time), you want to get his information out there. Posting everything you can in scamwarners and then just putting the link in this thread will help to alert people and will get him some baiter attention at the same time.

A few other things that I didn't see mentioned yet (maybe I just missed them):

First, watch out for recovery scams in which someone promises to get your money back (of course there will be a fee for that). Sadly, scammers will often return to victims and run recovery scams on the same people they have already stolen from, or someone else in their network will run one.

Second, if your profile on the dating site is still open and you want to keep membership on that site, change your profile name, info, etc. A lot of these scammers work in networks and pass around victim info, and if your profile is still open, he or his cohorts can use it to contact you. If you can't do it yourself, contact the site support and explain the situation to them. Chances are you will still be contacted by scammers, as no profile is immune, but at least it is less likely to be scammers who are armed with information about you.

Third, if you decide you want to bait scammers, don't use that dating site as there will be a link to your credit card. Instead, use a free site and a profile with completely fake details. Don't use any site that can trace back to you or your credit card.

Hang in there, and just know that you are probably saving someone else from heartache by getting the word out.

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ParaNoid
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hook, Line, and Sinker wrote:
I had some reservations about posting, wondering how many people would want to kick my butt and call me idiot,



Hi HookLineandSinker, the only butt we kick around here is that of the scammers. People like you are the reason many of us bait.

Do take some time to heal and release the fantasy that the scammer created. Great advice above. When you are ready to chanel and focus your energy into baiting and wasting time of these vermin, you wound like you would make a great baiter! Sorry for your losss (heart and money).

Welcome here though! Very Happy

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weareborg
Elite Baiter


Joined: 07 Sep 2008
Posts: 1112
Location: out there in the wide blue yonder


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Very sorry to hear about your experience HLS, Fortunately you did NOT pay him thousands of dollars, and saw him for what he was.
However one thing does disturb me..

Quote:
He has my real name and phone number. I do not know if he remembers my Last name or town from WU. I have a security system with cameras, but everyone says he is HOME, and would not come here even if he had airfare???


Please while I do not wish to scare you, I would respectful suggest that you make a report to your local police station. Tell them that you are a woman on her own and this "grub" has all your personal details. and while it's quite unlikely he will attempt to visit you. These people do have friends in other countries.

IT might also be an idea to confide in a neighbour, OK while it might be embarrassing to tell people you have been tricked, Your not the first, and you will not be the last. I think I can honestly say, that not one person on here hasn't asked themselves at one time or another. "is this person real" during a bait. Some of these people are good, very good. And as distasteful as it sounds.. That's what they do, there professionals at ripping people off.

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Branwen
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I may be wrong here, and please someone correct me if I am, but I wouldn't think that a real victim would be in any danger. All real victims will depart in the end, and the scammer must expect that. I would imagine that the only time they are angry or plotting revenge is when they suspect they have been 'played with', messed about, strung along, baited.

My real life scammer was not in West Africa, but in London, England. When he 'fell in love' with me far too quickly, I was concerned for his emotional well-being and invited him to visit me. I thought that presenting The Real Me would dispell his dreams and fantasies. He visited me three times, and even stayed overnight.

When I eventually saw him for what he was, I did not hold back on my anger towards him.

Then I started to fear revenge. Would he come and burn my house down? Would he come and beat me up?

I went against all my own advice, and put up three fake profiles on websites I knew he frequented. He wrote to all three of my fake women. And then I realised: he is too busy scamming other women to bother about the one he lost. I may have imagined at the time that I was the centre of his thoughts, but, really, I was just one of many many women he was writing to, and saying the same things to, and making sobbing phone calls to, and all the rest.

I was nothing in the whole scheme of things. There were so many others; I was a throwaway item.

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I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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Titania
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Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Branwen, you are correct - for the most part, as hard as it is to think of oneself in those terms.

However, it would do no harm to alert neighbors and/or law enforcement to the fact that a crime has been committed and the criminal has information about you. It may be our culture today, it may be something else, but I figure it's better to be safe than sorry. Wink

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i do not know you.you need to expanciate more - C0llins W3aver
those words really made me felt completely bad..and i had to dust my ass and wipe tears Micheal David
pony pony pony Mc Fry Goat Goat Closed lad accounts Mortar x 8
Safari Stanley's Christmas Adventure 2008 - Lagos to Abuja - massbait
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bill2
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Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 5495
Location: Yeah who can tell me where I am?


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You see HLS, you're not alone, we know what you're going through (^Branwen) Wink
It can't harm to inform the local police, you will be in the statistics, there might even be a victim help program where you can do your story one more time and if.... not really likely, but I have to agree with Titania, better safe than sorry.
Thanks Branwen for sharing.

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Hook, Line, and Sinker
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Joined: 05 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I cant seem to navigate the pages over there at warners and romance fast enough to get up the information before he gets gone. I found lads profile up again last night at true dot com. Today I can not find it except by the link I saved. Can I post that here and leave spaces and it can not be traced??? And the picture is still up on yafree dating dot com. I have about 8 of him. Is it the same lad at either place? I do not know, and will not be able to tell until someone else can get his name.
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