Silly question about child crush on me

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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 7:22 pm

Hoboy... I guess I could be a good dad sometime...
There's a girl, the daughter of a former workmate, that has a crush on me.
I mean, Shocked

she wants to marry me! She's 8 years old!
No matter how many times I explained I could be her daddy, she kept calling me "lover", "husband" etc.
Laughing

I've been telling her to call me in 15 years. Then, she will be of age, I will be married or divorced...
Any advice how to deal with?

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:01 pm

Haha, don't worry she'll be after someone else next week and you'll be left heart broken! Just don't turn into Quagmire

"Hey Meg are you 18 yet?"
"no"
"Gigity gigity"

Kids usually have these crushes because they see their parents being 'boyfriend and girlfriend' My 2 nieces both had a crush on me at one stage, as they live in the states and I can't afford to go there I only get to see them on Skype 2 or 3 times a week, but when the shyness kicked in I'd just see a little head of black hair giggling just off cam and could never get a conversation going:(

They are both over that now and the elder is in the 'boys are yukky' stage! How right she is Laughing

Edit forgot the advice!

I'd say play along with it, obviously in full view of her parents! It's just harmless fun. Find out what she'd like to do on a date, I got the best offer ever from my niece

"First we'll go to the play centre (those big indoor playgrounds) Then we'll get a McDonalds, I'll have a happy meal, then we can come home and do some colouring"

"ok who's going to pay for our first date" I had to ask to which she replied : "Daddy!!"

To this day I've yet to get a better idea for a date Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:06 pm

@ Spudz

I had no such problem with my nieces. I know they love me, but they are behaving. Very Happy

well, except for sometime when they were very young, and liked to pull my hair.... I guess they liked to have a metalhead uncle.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:08 pm

Are you serious? there is no situation here to deal with. Kids say stuff like that all the time. It doesn't mean anything.

Just change the subject and make sure that her parents know the situation and for Gods sake don't ever allow yourself to be alone with her.

When I was 11 one of my friends had a crush on the teacher. He took her into his study to talk to her and she told us all that he'd kissed her.

He didn't, but he almost lost his career over that.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:11 pm

at the age of 8 she has no idea what she's talking about -- now if you had said she was 17 there would be something to worry about...

I'd just ignore it when she calls you "lover" or whatever -- I'd stop trying to explain you're too old...

I remember having a crush on my uncle when I was a little younger than that...and telling him...now that I'm an adult I always feel a little uncomfortable around him since I remember that so well...but he's always been nice to me...

it's just part of growing up

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:11 pm

Kabuto Sama wrote:

I guess they liked to have a metalhead uncle.

hehe maybe that's your charm? Maybe in 10 years time she'll be dating Rock guys! Do you let her listen to your CD's?

Seriously though. I saw my teacher nearly lose his career because a kid had a crush on him. Make sure her parents know the situation.

(Mod edit to fix quote tags. -- JF)

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:14 pm

@ daisyDuck
Well, her ma (my former workmate) knows about this. I told her ( Laughing

that in 15 years, she'll be my mother-in-law).
Jokes apart, I want to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. But I guess that's nearly impossible with kids.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Don't do anything to devastate her, but don't do anything to encourage it, either. Just be friendly with her but always appropriate. Joking around about dates or call me in 15 years isn't really appropriate. She may have a crush on you for quite a while, but will get over it as she gets a bit older, develops a crush on a boy her age or sees you with a girlfriend.

It's a bit concerning to me that an 8 year old girl is using the word "lover" with you, but I'm old fashioned.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:53 pm

I don't think there is any need to get super PC about this. Seriously Kabuto you'll be an ex very soon, also kids that age usually tell Mummy everything!

Ima, my 5 year old niece has been singing "Shake yo booty" on a constant loop since October and turns to do the move!! I got no Christmas Carols this year just

"Shake yo booty"
"shake yo booty"
"shake shake shake shake shake yo booty"

and believe me there are no Gangstars ghettos or community booty shaking meetings within a snipers bullet range of Lt. Col. Bobs house!! (my brother in law)

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:13 pm

lol my husband's kids - 6 & 9 sing "shake your booty" with the booty shake and all too -- don't know where they got it other than school...

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Just asked my 5 year old son if he knows that song and if it's in a kid's movie. He said it's in the Chipmunk's movie.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:51 pm

BAN THE CHIPMUNKS NOW Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:52 pm

I must admit to have had a week long crush on Spudz two weeks ago.

Razor, the best admin by a long chalk, however weaned me off him by use of masterful and enlightening, which only he has access to, PMs which proved that Spudz was really a nasty piece of work with an alarming penchant for collecting Swetish used rubber underwear.

A big mistake avoided thanks to our very bestest and handsomest admin.

Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:27 pm

Kabuto Sama wrote:

I've been telling her to call me in 15 years. Then, she will be of age, I will be married or divorced...

If this is a serious problem that's the worst thing you coulda said. Kids that age take things literally and she could see it as a come-on.
Yeah that sounds extreme, but that's how kids think. Just be firm with her. You're the adult, she's the kid. Play it that way. If you gotta be strict and hurt her feelings then hurt her feelings. Bollocks what someone here said about "devastating" her - she's 8 years old, she'll get over it.

Personally, I'd also have a word with her parents. Let them know that you're uncomfortable with the way that their child is acting and ask them for advice - they know their child better than you do. You'll be doing them a favour so that they can act on it and nip it in the bud if it ever happens again.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:01 pm

Hmm it seems that some people are thinking this is a predatory situation.

Just did a quick search and found this Click

and this Click

First deals with teens second with pre-teens. lots more to be found as it's extremely well documented.

Don't forget folks kids have emotions too, they are little people! we all want to remember the innocence of childhood and protect it, but it cannot be kept in a can, things like this will crop up all the time.

At the age of 8 her crush is nothing more than showing great affection and trying to imitate what she has seen and understood in the adult world, but interpreted in that muddled up way kids do.

In my mind a teenager crush would be much more worrying especially with the way they are growing up so fast. This situation is little more then Ken and Barbie having a tea party.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:20 am

If it were me, I'd just date her a couple times and see how it went.

Knock it off!!!!! I was just joking!

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:03 am

Yah, I have a little bro of 6 and he is convinced that he is going to marry either me or my sister because we are "cool" lol, Its just a kid thing, and if you ignore it....it will go away.... lol, well in my case it has dwindled.... Smile

Kids say the cutest things! Although....Be careful what you say in reply... haha

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:28 am

I'm reminded of Jerry Lee Lewis who's bigamous marriage to 13 years old Myra Brown, his cousin, took place at the height of his fame.

That's Jerry 'The Killer' ---- Great Balls of Fire.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:41 am

Kabuto Sama wrote:

Hoboy...

I've been telling her to call me in 15 years. Then, she will be of age, I will be married or divorced...
Any advice how to deal with?

first of all sorry mods bow_down

"Kabuto Sama" you could start bringing some girlfriends around with you Rolling Eyes

let her down with care

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:27 am

This could be a very dangerous situation, if someone she doesn't know latches on to her, and she starts the same thing with them..

Personaly I would be having a quite chat with her mother, explain what could happen, but don't frighten shit out of her. Then hopefully her mother will be able to talk some sense into her.. or at least guide her in another direction, away from you.

But it could also be dangerous for yourself, if she starts talking at school about the man she loves who isn't her father. We live in a changing world , where some people are only too quick to point an accusing finger.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:21 am

^^I had some of the same concerns. If she does this behavior with someone who doesn't have the boundaries you seem to have, it could have a bad outcome.

I would just say to her, "I like you too."

I also agree that keeping the parent informed is agood move. If boundaries have already been violated the behavior will escalate. (I don't mean by you.)

Ima Baeder wrote:

It's a bit concerning to me that an 8 year old girl is using the word "lover" with you, but I'm old fashioned.

I am old fashioned too... Wink

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:28 am

I took a psychology class a year ago and this is a phase that young boys and girl go through. young girls will usually lust after a father or father figure and vise versa with young boys they will lust after there mother or a mother figure. It is a phase that most children go through. Im trying to remember what this is called I will have to find my book and look it up.

but its just a phase.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 24 Oct 2008 Posts: 80

^^^ SO its just a phase that the lads go through wanting money?

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:12 pm

Harry Bawls wrote:

If it were me, I'd just date her a couple times and see how it went.

BWHAHAHAHAH! Great advice Harry. I was going to suggest just waiting another 7 or 8 years and date her then, but Harry's comment was disgusting enough.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:03 pm

Tell the parents and never be alone with her.

Unless you have been alone with her then: Don't tell the parents and never be alone with her.

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