Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:19 am

We inevitably will start another bait with them, but this whole printing deal has room for SOOOOO many fiascoes it's ridiculous. It's going to get incredibly hilarious. We have some great ideas already, and if they think the TWAT church frustrated them, well, they have no idea what frustration is.

The truth is, believe it or not, we're not really equipped for this sort of job.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 25 Nov 2008 Posts: 34

It took me 2 weeks of reading this off and on. Great job!! clapping

I have a suggestion though, if you are going to keep sending people to Abeche, you need to install a web cam somehow in the only internet cafe on hospital row. We could call it "lad cam" and we could watch them go crazy when they aren't getting their emails.

I know it sounds a bit impossible to do but..... I am talking to evil genius bastards here and I am confident you will work it out. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:02 am

We've got a digital camera at our disposal that we placed into the hands of the owner of THE ONLY INTERNET CAFE ON HOSPITAL ROAD. Doesn't that count for anything?

Sheesh. Wink

Not quite a Newb Joined: 25 Nov 2008 Posts: 34

Pfft

Every time the bar gets raised, you surpass it. I just raised the bar for you. Laughing

I will go back to my pathetic noob attempts at baiting now.

(yes I am baitng safe, I read the stickies and I have a mentor) Smile

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:03 pm

Well, I guess that mystery is solved. Confused

Quote:

Subject Line: THE ANIMAL IS HERE ATTACHED

Dear associate Edward,
Please find in this attachment, scan copy of the Animal presented inside the note. It is rather an Antelope, not badger. Also communicate this to your guys.

You can also see it from the 100 francs of 2003 coin of Central Africa.
Thanks,

They apparently tried to attach an image of an antelope, but they couldn't even do that right. Then later...

Quote:

Dear associate Edward,
We have received your email and complaint from your engineer regarding to the damaged bills. We appreciate the fact that they can still use the bills as they said irrespective of the damage.

Like we told you before, we are very much ready to fill out any form or information you required as soon as you confirmed that the printing is done in order to reasure you of our trust being party with you in this business.

However, we shall be gratefull to receiving some copies of the samples of the printed work done to ensure that it is ok for easy conversion here before the mass reproduction will be completed. We do hope that this will be for the good interest and benefits of both parties, ensuring that what we all invested into this transaction is not wasted efforts.

We do hope that you will understand as we wait to receiving further goodnews from your side that reproduction has commenced.

Your associates,

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:36 pm

Pretty much a newbie here, read tons, do a few scambaits myself.
BUT you guys are PURE EVIL F00KIN GENIUS
I love it
Keep up the fantastic work

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:19 pm

^PURE I think not Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:43 pm

The bears have arrived. Ed's latest:

Quote:

We are still researching this. We now feel that it might not be an antelope. But we are 99% certain that it was a bear. They can be disastrous to mail, especially Chadian notes. I guess this is not uncommon. Anyway, we are spending day and night analyzing this DNA. WE are going to get to the bottom of this. Once we figure this out, we will work on the money production.

We are going to get these forms to you soon. I want you to know in advance, they are extrmely detailed and person, requiring prints and everything. Is that a problem?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:27 pm

I can't see how anyone could think that you guys are torturing these lads. All I see is a bunch of people going along with a nutty idea conceived by a criminal to enrich himself illegally. And this is the most sane idea that the lads have come up with yet. Unfortunately for them, they are not taking the easy road to riches. I can't wait to see all the roadblocks and speed bumps in this scheme of theirs. Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:40 pm

I love that they came up with "it was an Antelope" Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:05 am

^^ Yeah, that was goofy as hell. I figured that they were confused by the Reproduction Engineer's findings, thought that he was saying there was a badger on the note, and were correcting us on the animal. I told jojo this morning what I was guessing, and he went over all of the bills. There is NO antelope on any of them.

I will say this though:

Our crack team of experts will be on this situation like white on rice. We will not falter in our focus even for a moment in tracking down this animal. As SOON as we're certain what did this, we'll be able to move on to the actual work of printing these notes. Right now, it's only obvious that figuring out what animal did this is priority number one.

We're 99% sure that we'll get to the bottom of this very quickly. Wink

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 7:09 am

And teh excitement continues to build..... Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:30 am

In the spirit of Seth and Amy, "Really? You think we REALLY think there are BEARS on that banknote? REALLY??"

Quote:

Dear associate Edward,

We do not have any problem filling any form as soon as you confirm the reproduction is done ok. If you saw the attachment we sent to you, that was exactly what is inside the note as it represents chadian culture.

Regards.

My drunken reply:

Quote:

My partner xxxx,

You don't seem to understand what has happened, so allow me this opportunity to clarify the situation. The last package you sent was severely damaged, and although it looks like the notes themselves will be acceptable for our business to progress, it is imperative that we discover what species of animal did this. Normally, we'd settle for a phylum or class; hell, a genus could work under other circumstances, but in this case, our hands are tied.

This isn't child's play, xxxx. We're talking about a lot of time and money that has been invested by my company so far in working towards a successful completion of our business. I'm sure that a man of your professional stature can understand why we must learn every detail of what we're up against. In this case, my analysts are leaning in the bear direction, but badgers aren't being taken off the table yet.

About the forms. you will need to complete them before our company is able to release any of our reproductions to you. This is to protect both parties here, and although I haven't asked for any money up front from you in this deal, I will need some sense of security in this transaction. You will be expected to complete the forms and submit them before we will be able to release the first series of notes to you.

As you requested, we can send a smaller amount than our original plans for printing in order for you to make sure the currency passes without a problem. We can send you a minimum of 100,000 CFA for your tests, but this will be arbitrary anyway. All of our reproductions pass in the United States, and quite frankly, although your currency in Chad is more complex, the scrutiny of our banking system is quite severe.

Are there bears in Chad, or could this have possibly occurred after this last package crossed the US boundaries. We're 99% sure that this will be sorted soon. Please confirm your willingness to submit the forms required for secure release of the initial funds.

Thank you for your mutual cooperation,

Reverend Edward

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:30 pm

Quote:

All of our reproductions pass in the United States, and quite frankly, although your currency in Chad is more complex, the scrutiny of our banking system is quite severe.

BWHAHAHAHAHA! That's my favourite line! I love it.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 27

You guys almost made me barf. I was laughing uncontrolably and almost choked which made me sicky :p

I wonder if Adamu ever went to the place with his jar of urine..

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:25 pm

What in the flying fuck?????

Quote:

Our dear associate Rev.Edward,

We have read your last emails and well understood your cautions. However, top priority of every successfull business is Trust and Sincerity of Minds amongst parties involved. Our assurance to you is that we shall continue to represent Trust and Sincerity to you till the End.

The damage to the last parcel you reported was not from our side here. The parcel may have been intercepted by someone or delivering personnels while on transit to USA. Whatever the case may be, we did our best in the packaging of the parcel, ensuring that even if someone intercepted the parcel on the way, it will be meaningless to the intruder as the outward content of the parcel was less suspicious for protection and security of the interest of both parties involved in this transaction. As the content inside or purpose prior to dispatch was not spelt to the courier or in the parcel, to avoid giving clue to any suspicious mind or prying eyes of any kind. Laughing

Bearing in mind some legal implications dealing with transaction of this type, it is imperative for us to direct this transaction to the best of our knowledge, that will set base for emergency defensive protection and security of both you, yourcompany and ourselves here, believing that you will understand following your previous advise to us to apply cautions. Moreso, in ensence of your DNA analyses, we do know that Squirrel, Badger, Gators and Bear are dangerous species to deal with in terms of transactions. However, Antelope, we know also are not harmful but can apply cautions in order to avoid dead traps. <<WTF!!! Laughing

So, to buttress our points more clearer to your understanding and acceptance, we did not damage the bills here before packaging it or prior to its dispatch to DHL office. To be precised, we came into this transaction with open mind with hope that we are true partners that can work together with mutual consent to achieve a fruitful end results. You should therefore not understand our efforts or interest to achieve this goal otherwise.

Having said this, you are already with our names and further personal details will be given to you in due course. As we told you before, our parnership with you will go beyond this deal so, we do not have anything to hide from you. This is the TRUE POSITION of this transaction.

Therefore, get the printing work started and send the samples of your work to us as requested for conversion test. Upon our receipt of the sample from your, we shall then establish the fact that both parties are representing the true purpose of this transaction. Then, we shall immediately fill your form and return to you including any form of our personal details that you may wish to have. If after filling the form you sent and you wish to know about us, then, your company should send you down here, we shall on that course, receive you as our partner and we shall take you to our verious Villages and Towns. Then, you will know that we truely, are representing genuine partners.

Communicate this details to your company over there. We are therefore waiting for your confirmation that you have started reproduction and that sample of your work has been dispatched to Mr.Andrew Ezekiel for our receipt as stated. Anything beyond this clarification and focus, must not be for the interest of this transaction.

Goodluck and success to all parties involved. " ACTION WE BELIEVE, SPEAKS LOUDER THAN VOICE".

Regards,
xxxx xxxxxx

NB: WE THEREFORE ADVISE YOU TO ASK DIRECT QUESTIONS FOR DIRECT CLARIFICATION WHEREVER YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND ELSE, YOUR DNA ANALYSES COULD GIVE YOU WRONG ANSWERS AGAINST THE ORIGINAL MOTIVE AND INTENT.

Jayzus fuck!!!

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Bubba-wubba-whah?

Mind you - last time I heard anything like this from a Lad...

Quote:

"ACTION WE BELIEVE, SPEAKS LOUDER THAN VOICE"

... it was in this bait: http://www.scamorama.com/eliza_zema.html in which a Lad threatened someone he'd been told was a member of the SAS.

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 1:49 pm

There are so many things that I absolutely love about that email. None more than:

Quote:

Moreso, in ensence of your DNA analyses, we do know that Squirrel, Badger, Gators and Bear are dangerous species to deal with in terms of transactions. However, Antelope, we know also are not harmful but can apply cautions in order to avoid dead traps

At first I thought he had no idea what we are even saying. But, this email clears it up. I love how he lumps a squirrel in with a badger, gator and a bear. That's wonderful.

Quote:

Dear Brother,

Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful email. It brightens my day to know exactly the kind of man that I am working with.

I certainly know beyond all doubts that you did not damage these bills. Our DNA analysis has excluded any human from doing the damage on this package. There were small amounts of human fecal matter on the bills, but that is to be expected. We are continuing to press forward with our investigation. That package made a bunch of stops, so there was a huge variety of places that said animals could have made their unwelcomed invasion.

I am a bit displeased with your apprehension in regards to the forms. Please understand that we are doing a lot of work here on the basis of trust and faith. I have not asked you for one cent in advanced payment. I have given so much at this point and I have never asked you for one cent in down payment. I hope you understand that this is NOT normal business practice. I am doing this because I feel that you are a man of trust and a good Reverend. However, it is unwise for me not to add proper precautions. I asked you to fill out a very simple form before printing begins. That is all that I have asked for you. Nothing more. I have no reason to waste both your time and the expensive time of me, my engineers and my company. I expect that you understand. So, I will make it known that before I release my engineers to do the printing, you must fill out those forms. This is mandatory and I will not waiver on this issue, okay?

Take this email as encouragement that our business relationship will grow strong and fast. As every day goes on and as every email strengthens our relationship, I feel as though a new window of hope and change is coming! All we are is dust in the wind.

Thank you so much for your business relationship. Please fill the forms out immediately so I can release my engineers to do the printing.

Ed

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:38 pm

Great e-mail, jojo. Laughing

Quote:

There were small amounts of human fecal matter on the bills, but that is to be expected.

Of course it is. Who wouldn't expect that?? Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 25 Dec 2008 Posts: 4

Well it has taken me a couple of months to get through this and what a laugh I have had all the way through.
I am not a scambaiter, I just love reading all about them (must be a sicko)and my admiration goes out to all of you.
Keep up the good work

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:08 am

Welcome gw1. Very Happy

Wow, you read this whole thing? (I confess, I didn't) Very Happy

I'm glad you decided to join us. Go grab a lad, and have fun, too. You are not a sicko, and neither are we. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:19 pm

Just finished reading the thread, great job, I was literally crying with laughter.

This thread has it all, religion, goats, pilgrimages, damaged limbs, weird fruit, a human interest angle (will Famous ever meet up with the girl of his dreams?), counterfeiting and if I am incredibly lucky, PIRATES! Who could ask for more?

Well, ok, the lads would probably want the money but it's not a perfect world now is it??

I'm simply not worthy:

bow_down

Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:48 pm

Welcome and thanks for the kind words! I am glad you enjoyed it.

SlapHappy, I expect you to have this read by the new year!

I think we are going to have a nice new surprise from The Miracle Network. You might say those boys are just a Christmas Miracle.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 1:53 pm

OOOO! Another surprise? I love surprises. Smile

@JoJo - I've read the last dozen pages, and about 30% of the rest. That's pretty good...about 50-55 pages. I have to take time to eat and go to the bathroom once in awhile, you know. I even gave up getting dressed everyday to save a few minutes to keep up with your thread. If I read your whole thread, I'd probably never shower and starve to death, too. I don't wanna end up like one of your lads. Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:38 pm

Absolutely fantastic this guys, i can't get enough of it Laughing

Gotta be one of the largest baits on here.

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