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Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:22 am

I've been baiting this idiot for a while. Counterfeit cheque lad baits shouldn't last long, but every now and again you meet a prize idiot. One has sent me three cheques and is apologising that that I never get them - so I tell him. Very Happy

His opening mail doesn't matter. Just tell him you're interested and get the cheques sent to a drop box or a hole in the ground. Laughing

[email protected]

Quote:

Hi Bertie, i know you get the 15% commisiion on the check and the balance has to be sent back to our agent in the USA, please let me know when you need our agents information, thanks and I'll talk to you soon, also let me know as soon as you are ready to send the balance back to my guy in the USA, i have to give the okay to the company to mail you the other check for 30,000 or would you prefer smaller checks that would total 30,000....

Thanks
M Smith

P.S. Bertie if you know of anyone else that would want to work with my company please let me know, perhaps i could increase your percentage to 20% of the total check value to you and 80% back to our company...

I want big felching cheques, and lots of 'em. Keep him occupied over Christmas, like one of Santa's little elves knocking off fake cheques in his underground grotto.

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:34 am

Quote:

My friend Bertie say that you're looking for volunteers to help you.
I'm not sure what I'm required to do, but Bertie says that you'll be asking me to deposit some cheques, for various amounts, and then forward the rest of the proceeds onto your chap in the United States.
Well, that seems simple enough. Any friend of Bertie is a friend of mine!
If you want to send me further details or even consider my help, please let me know

Ian Happy

Cheques away Ginger! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:11 pm

I've also got a job with a fish factory, but I'm worried about the smell. Laughing

Quote:

[1] the job is all about you stand as our sales representative in your own geographical location and collect money on behalf of the company. Most of our customer in your region in which we have supply our fisheries product to are willing to make a payment for the goods and services which we provided to them.

I'm going to be struggling pulling any girls after I've been transporting haddock in the boot of the car all day, and do I have to turn the air conditioning down to freezing to stop them perishing ? Very Happy

I'm a sucker for a fish bait Very Happy

he's - [email protected]

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:42 pm

This guy must be, like totally honest dude Very Happy

and generous

Now I get the discount too - wooohooooo !!

Quote:

Hello Bertie, thanks for the quick response, here are the payment details,you are to send 80% of the the check to the following agent in the USA,

Name removed -Ima483 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn NY 11231
USA
Phone Number 347-231-3104

I was under the assumption that you could get the check cashed at a check cashing and western union the money immediately to avoid any delays in getting the other check sent to you, any which ways please get back to me and update me to the status of the transaction, so that the other check would be sent immediately..

Thanks
M Striker

P.S. I have increased you commision to 20%

I'd do what he wants, but only if he gives me another 5% and sends me the other cheque now. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I love a good check lad. Count in!

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:47 pm

i need extra money for christmas gifts, I'm in.

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:00 pm

In case you've connected your bait to me by using my baiting name, I'd better bait responsibly and keep him going as long as I can.

Cheque Lads are normally very abrupt and demanding. It's nice to work with one who is happy to oblige. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yeah, I told him that I found out about the great job offer from Bertie. I didn't tell him about your gambling problem though. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:14 pm

i think i'll tell him the company i'm currently working for is giving me 25%

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

He's offering me only 15% as well. I'm going to demand 10%. I'm not worth 15%. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yup. I'm at 15% also. The bastage.

He's not much on forms, is he? All I've got to do is give him my name, address and phone number and I'm in!

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:42 pm

I'm in!

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:36 pm

@ JMRazor - Tell him you're a friend of Bertram W00ster and you'll get the extra discount. Very Happy

You better hurry though. I'll stall him as much as I can, and so far it's been pretty easy, but I can't hold back for ever.

I just had a Idea

As I'm now recruiting for him. maybe now's the time to ask to become a partner.

Without actually saying I know what his game is, I could wave the idea in front of him that I have a sophisticated pc and printers to assist his work and can guarantee many workers for him. It'll waste more time and I can see if he will disclose how his operation works.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Good grief, but this lad is quick!

Quote:

Hi you get paid as soon as you cash the check , when you cash the check you take 15% and send the 85% back to our agent, as soon as we receive it you get another check and this time around you get 20% for yourself. Sounds to good to be true, well let me explain,, its cheaper for us to give you 15% or 20% of a payment than renting a office and paying workers,, any more questions email me please and your first check will arrive tomorrow for $ 5000.
Thanks
M Smith

I'll have my first check tomorrow!

Double Good Grief! He's already sent me my first check!

Quote:

Hi Agnes your UPS trackimg is xxxxxxxxx andy you have check # 980095 is for $5,000, please let me know when you receive it so that I'll give you our agents info who has to collect the payment after you take your 15% from the check...

Thanks

This lad moves quick!

(I wonder if UPS delivers to the middle of the desert?)

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:00 pm

I only deal with quality Lads Very Happy

I'll see if I can get him to recruit me as a mule, and get some of his potential victim addies off him.

I can show him an example of my work - defaced to be unusable - which I can say I have done to stop him ripping me off, then ask him to supply details of his victims.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I've contacted UPS and given them the tracking number. I'm guessing that your lad somehow got hold of someone's UPS account number and charged the shipping there.

He is an anxious one, isn't he?

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:06 pm

15% as well, emailed him about the missing 5% Evil or Very Mad

Also asked him if he could send me a scan of the cheque so they dont get confused with the other cheques I get for my PC repair business.
No other way Im going to get to see them! Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:05 pm

you aren't fighting hard enough for an increased share

Quote:

Hi i could matchh the 25% on the first deal and 30% after that on all the others, please keep your commision status between us, since other people are only getting 15% to start and 20% after.

Thanks

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I re-thought and demanded 20% --- but now I see you getting up to 25%!! Evil or Very Mad

I need this money for a boob job -- so I'm not backing down without a better payday!

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:36 pm

JMRazor wrote:

I need this money for a boob job

Does Mrs Razor know? Confused

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:11 pm

Fired off a quick email with my address on as:
Gesmeed Check
Ik Pak Mezelf
CDXIX, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Roughly translates into "fraudulant cheque, i *ahem* myself, 419, Amsterdam"
He said he's sent the cheques right away with no further questions asked. No need to give him a phone number.

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:36 pm

Me and Bertie are old hunting buddies. I talked my way into 20%...

Quote:

Okay for Mr Dirty Bertie you will get 20%.

FYI, that's your nickname with us. I hope he calls you that! Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:41 pm

Now I'm bottom of the food chain.

The others are getting 30% now BluthBanana.

That's a fine how dya do. Twisted Evil

He shouldn't mess with me as cheque Lads irritate me with their gormless stupidity. All this supplying ATM cards and wanting to pay into credit cards. What planet are they on ?

One poor unfortunate Lad got this gobful off me today.

Quote:

Dear Sir,

Don't be such a moronic ignorant t**t.

You don't pay INTO credit cards, you pay OUT of credit cards.

I don't swim to work, I drive to work, because it's a f***ing road.

Are you an imbecile ? Any f***ing t**t knows that and why can't you understand ?

I don't eat mud - I eat food because mud tastes nasty.

What the f**k don't you understand about credit cards ?

No wonder you never get your payments. It's because you're the dims**t son of r****ded parents who probably bounced you up and down on your head before deciding not to bother sending you to school.

Here endeth the first lesson in economics. If you didn't understand any part of it please refer back to me and I'll send it with pictures next time.

Best Wishes

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well this is interesting. The lad gave me a UPS tracking number for the check he is sending out, and it checks out. Here's what the tracking site shows:

Package Progress
Location Date Local Time Description
MASPETH,
NY, US 12/02/2008 6:37 P.M. PICKUP SCAN
US 12/02/2008 4:45 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

I have notified UPS, but so far I haven't gotten a response. It looks like either our lad is located in New York, or he's got a contact in New York that is sending out the checks.

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:54 pm

He's going to be one heck of a grumpy little elf after he finds he's mailing all these cheques to people who run off with their money.

I don't know how long it will take me to get over the guilt - I'm over it already. Very Happy

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